|
||||||
|
i hate when i envy. i crave sunshine and beautiful days. i hate not being where i want to be. i hate not being there. i have no motivation to write papers or adaptations. what motivates me is sunshine, you and all the rest of the good things in life. big mugs of tea, painting a wooden jewelry box to feel accomplished, swingsets, libraries. i used to make collages all the time. sometimes things that i do remind me of that. i felt accomplished in a way when i finished one but when i look back on it...it wasn't much of an accomplishment. will i feel that way about stuff that i "accomplish" now? will i ever feel satisfied? you satisfy me. writing a new song or starting a story, no matter how ridiculous, satisfies me. it makes me feel good. i feel...accomplished in a way that i know will never change. its amazing how wasting my day by myself feels wasteful, but wasting it with you feels great. or wasting it outside my house. i don't know. i always feel theres something better i could be doing...well, usually. other times i know theres nothing else id rather be doing. but i guess everyone feels that way sometimes. this is getting to be a weird rambling. i love you and want you to be happy and i am more than willing to help you in any way i can. i hope you figure things out. i will be right there with you to kiss you and make fun of you to make you smile. :) i'm glad that i have you and i'm glad to be your girlfriend. you're beautiful, in all your bad hygiene and lack of motivation. i'd be lying if i said i didn't envy some of the things you possess. i love how different we are, but yet, how alike we are. you're pretty grand. :) |
||||||
|
|
weird.