like the sunshine's Blurty

Subject:	new yorrrrrk, new yooooorrrrk.
Time:	3:15 pm.
Mood:	intimidated.

whenever i go to new york i feel so.....odd. it's so different...overwhelming. i feel like i couldn't possibly know everything about it and it makes me feel weird. everything seems so historical, dramatic and unrealistic. it's amazing how many movies and whatnot have been filmed there, how many people have walked those streets. i really wonder what it was like when it was new...when it first became a city. imagine seeing it when having buildings that tall were unheard of? i wish i could go back to all the different decades and experience them. i wonder if people will feel the same about our time 50 or 80 years from now. history like this, like the history of new york and all its little crevices, nooks and stone, amazes me.
anywho, anthony and i had a good time at the comic con and i got some free things which was nice.
i need to do homework, but i can never bring myself to do any of it except my math work.
less than a month of school left!

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Subject:	nothing gold can stay.
Time:	10:07 pm.
Mood:	nostalgic.

i passed the park tonight. well, i pass it every day, but tonight i really looked at it and thought of the memories. somehow it becomes different at night. this incredible sense of fear and sadness came over and i wanted to cry. do you ever realize that some things can really never be the same ever again?..for your entire life. and you feel like you'd do anything just to have a day like that again. to feel like nothing would ever change. college seemed so far off. but it came so quick. it's happening now. freshman year went by so fast. soon it will be over and we will have to "grow up" and go into the "real world"....whatever those mean. i know nothing of mortgages and interest and banking. there should really be a class on those sorts of things. i bet there is. what i don't get is why they taught us home ec. in 7th grade. why would we use it then? i was 12 and they thought it would be a good idea to teach me to cook and sew? now i'm going to take a sewing class because i don't remember a thing about it. i can sew up holes and things, but i can't use a sewing machine.
anyway...high school can make you feel invincible. it can make you forget the future and be oblivious to the fact that someday, things will change. you won't see your friends every day. you might lose some friends, lose a love. high school is full of forever and always. best friends, boyfriends and girlfriends. "i'll never leave you." "i can't live without you." "marry me." "best friends for life!" i guess i miss the obliviousness, the feeling that nothing else matters but, the lies. of course you can live without someone, you'd just rather not. and of course there may come a day when you want to leave someone. but sometimes...the idealistic feels so much better than the realistic. and it's certainly more appealing...more appetizing.
i miss being a stupid, blind kid. i miss believing in forever.

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