| pretending to be happy...again |
[27 Feb 2008|05:02pm] |
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My folks are gonna come home soon so I have to put up a good, happy, smilely, front. =] See, I'm even smiling right now. Because I'm happy. Even though I am really not. But I can't let anyone see that. I refuse to show how miserable I really am. Not that it matters to anyone anyway....
So I was talking to John today...and I think...it was a lie. I don't think he loves me, at least romantically. Or if loving me and being with me is what he really wants. I see it so much more clearly now. Maybe I should talk to him about it, but like most people he'll probably laugh and all and to quote Sean "We're not together so I'm not doing you wrong." Apparently it isn't wrong to tell someone you love them and get them to lower their defenses only so they can end up breaking your heart...again in this case. So yeah...if I talk to him again tonight, I might tell him about himself. But I'll doubt he'll care.
More great news! Ginger's comming on back on Friday! And she's comming back to school. Lovely. I'm soooo thrilled. Not really. I'm less than thrilled. Well. At least it was peaceful for a few months.
In other news, the day wasn't bad. Except for the reality hitting me in the head with a tire iron. But it felt good and I am happy!!! (I don't know how much longer I can keep this happy act up.)
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