| Panic mode! |
[12 Feb 2008|05:47pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Disturbed-Sacred Lie |
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AHHH!!! What do I DO???
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| so this is life |
[12 Feb 2008|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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special on civil war. horray black history month ♥ |
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So right now...my life be like this. (I don't know why I said it like that. I'll stop being silly.) CJ asked me out...kinda...today. And I really have no idea what to say. I talked to him last night and...he remembered just about everything I told him from when we used to talk. But I don't know. I mean, after what happened, I dunno. He wasn't a bad boyfriend, but I don't know if I like him like that.
Life has just thrown me a curveball relationship wise. I don't know how I feel. There's still that guy in gym and I'm pretty sure he likes me! He smiles at me even when hasn't smiled before, he perks up when I come near him. But he was lookin at my boobs and that's kinda a deal breaker....
And then of course there's Sean. I've been lookin back and I just feel like I got slapped in the face. It's like every word he told me was a lie. If it was real at the time then I guess it wasn't a lie. But that's what it feels like now. A huge, ugly lie. I don't want to feel this way or have feelings for him at all, but I had absoultely no closure or at least a warning. He just sprung he was seein this girl on me without any rhyme or real reason. And it's not like I could get that clouse without being seen as the jealous bitch that wants him back. I reallu don't want or need him back. I just need that closure so I can fully move on.
As for the other parts of my life, well, I'm getting back into writing. Seriously this time. I'm working on setting goals and becomming involved in the writing community is one of them. All my life I've really had no direction. Someone was around to push me. But right now, I don't really have any one to do that. So I gotta push myself. I know what I have to do so I just have to force myself to do it. No matter how scary it gets.
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