| this is our life this is our song |
[06 Feb 2008|09:55pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Guns and Roses-Paradise City. |
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Twisted sister <3 We're not gonna take it anymore. Lalala.
Well, I was feeling good yesterday, but I'll talk about that later. I wanna start off with today which was negative and by doing yesterday last the postive thoughts might stay with me.
Today I had to dress up yet again to do a presentation for graphics/physics/calc. The presentation didn't go as well as I had hoped. But hey, stuff happens. I think we got a pretty good grade though. I'm hoping anyway.
Onto the amazing part of today! I was pretty damn happy. Not a thing wrong. I was walkin around with a smile and at lunch I went to take the tray up. Well this table of almost all cute boys is on the way up and they were sayin something and I couldn't make it out. Well anyway, on the way back the one guy, I think it was my friend's brother, yelled to me. So I came over and he was askin if I was single and asked if I thought the other two boys were cute and how they wanted to go out with me and they were kinda giggling and smirking so I kinda excused myself.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I thought I looked ok today...I mean, I know I'm not as pretty as some other girls. And I'm not skinny or have perfect skin or grace, but I think I'm a pretty nice person. And I'm pretty loyal and laid back. But obviously I'm defective in some kind of way. Probably every way. And it really hurts....
When I got home didn't help either...I really wanna know what's wrong with me. No one will tell me. I know I don't act like a normal black girl should, but who cares right? Everyone should be free to be themselves.
But onto yesterday which was a million times better! I got to miss school to read a poem at the opening black hisotry month ceremony at my mom's job. It didn't start until 1 so my cousin took me to Nino's for lunch. She was mad at me. We both ordered cheesesteaks and fries and I had way more steak and fries than her. It was sooo funny! Haha. But I know the guy who was cooking and he always hooks me and mom up. She got a burger and we bought it back for her. BEST BURGER EVER. Even for having unions. It was delcious.
It was time for the ceremony and I was nervous as hell. I was shaking! But I went up there and did my thing and everyone was cheering and clapping. Mad people came up to me afterwards and during the day saying how amazing I did. This one guy is even trying to get me to do some poetry slams that this famous writer guy is in charge of.
For once I actually felt good about myself! Like I was worth something. And I felt pretty and respected. That I could do something right for once. I felt really good. And now I feel...I don't even know how I'm feeling.
May tomorrow bring a better day.
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