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it's only you beautiful, or i don't want anyone. [05 Jan 2004|08:33pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | for felix | stolen from the start ] today! the first day back after break. you know, surprisingly, today was somewhat interesting. it began at about 5:15 am. i woke up and got ready pretty fast, so i got to sleep a little more, eat breakfast, and clean my room. then i went to the busstop. it was early, about 6:45 am, so i knew that i wouldn't miss my bus. however, much to my dismay, i stood at the end of the street, along with nick, michael, tim, joe, and michelle, for an extremely long time. sure i got in extra molest nick and micheal time, but it was very cold. at approximately 7:40 am, it began to rain also. then, i knew my day was going to go downhill from there. and indeed it did. me and my sister went home to ask our mom what to do, and she told us to go back down to the busstop and wait for fifteen more minutes. well, almost immediately a bus came, but it was not mine, but some people still got on it, then got off. but a few minutes later a bus came for us and yeah, off to school i went. so then i just went to my classes and whatnot and when the day was over, i went to my bus to go home. and do you know what, it was not there again. so mr. farinelli led my entire bus back into school and we sat in the lobby for about a half an hour. eventually, the bus arrived and i got driven home. oh, p.s. i think i broke something when i fell out of my seat on the bus. and when i say "fell", i really mean "deliberately pushed". 2 -- at least show me some sympathy.

i'm only complaining to keep myself busy, sweetie [03 Jan 2004|06:03pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | dashboard confessional | remember to breathe ] so today is almost the last day of my winter break, and my family came over. a lot of family. and they are just a little annoying. actually a lot. not to mention how it is extremely loud in here and i can't exactly think the way i should. but whatever.. anyway.. what would be interesting to talk about.. alright, first person, matt, chose karate. how predictable. heh, or maybe it wasn't. well, this is just not working for me, as i know almost nothing about karate. next person, brad, says the best band on drive-thru records would be good to write about. maybe it will, we'll see if i am talented enough to write a lot about it. okay, so as far as i know, the bands on drive-thru records are the starting line, allister, home grown, finch, new found glory, rx bandits, senses fail, something corporate, hidden in plain view, steel train, and the early november. well, i enjoy a majority of these bands, but if i had to choose, i would say something corporate, because they are a very good band with very good songs, not to mention a piano. wow. a close second would be senses fail, however, then maybe the starting line, then coming in fourth place would be the early november. whoa, that was an alright subject. thank you brad. hm. so, let's talk about tomorrow, a sad day indeed. the last day of winter vacation. according to my mother, she is going to take me and my sisters out to the mall. and i plan on taking back my shoes that were ugly, and my pants that didn't fit, and my sweaters and such that were also unpleasant to look at. but i just realized that although it will be nice to finally go somewhere, i hate the mall. actually, i like the mall. i hate the people that shop in the mall, more specifically, the girls that shop at the mall and feel it is necessary to dress up as though it is the oscars and act like fools. but i will be brave and go, that is, if my mom is not lying. i want to get a haircut. at least show me some sympathy.

i was over it before, but you brought me back to where i began [31 Dec 2003|08:03pm] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | brand new | failure by design ] i am ashamed. it has been nearly a month since i wrote a "real" entry. what a slacker i am. so you are probably thinking that i must have lots to write about, but you know something, i don't. surprising, right? anyway, though, something that interests me might be a promising topic. alright. the new year will be upon us in 5 and a half hours. sort of. and i have to say, i am not really anticipating it all that much. i don't have a new year's resolution, and even if i did, i never follow through with them. also, once january first has passed, winter break is almost over. and i am sort of dreading going back to school. well.. i suppose there is nothing i can do. anyways. i would just like to say that i thoroughly enjoy listening to brand new and taking back sunday. sure, i like other bands quite a lot, but no matter what i do, i cannot get sick of those two. so yeah, bravo taking back sunday and brand new for making magical music... bye. at least show me some sympathy.

"all i want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me.." [25 Dec 2003|12:58pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | park | day one and counting ] lets see.. this christmas i received the following: 1. slow coming day - farewell to the familiar 2. spitalfield - remember right now 3. park - it wont snow where youre going 4. mae - destination: beautiful 5. story of the year - page avenue 6. poison the well - the opposite of december 7. vans / rowley 8. poison the well / sacred heart t-shirt 9. taking back sunday / eagle logo t-shirt 10. a green sweater from pacsun, i believe. 11. pajamas 12. white socks 13. shampoo, conditioner 14. pants 15. belts 16. gum 17. navy blue fuzzy slippers 18. fall out boy t-shirt 19. something corporate / piano t-shirt 20. the juliana theory - emotion is dead 21. jeans -- awesome-ness. at least show me some sympathy.

i wish that i was as invisible as you make me feel [08 Dec 2003|08:31pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | boys night out | a torrid love affair ] so, in order to liven up my journal, i have decided that i will periodically make up random surveys. and the survey for monday the 8th of december is: what is your favorite type of shampoo? as of right now, i have only asked a few people, and some have not even answered, but here is what i have so far. herbal essences -- |||| || pantene pro-v -- |||| v05 -- ||| soap -- | thermasilk -- | redken -- | bedhead -- | suave for men -- | as you can see from the results, pantene pro-v and herbal essences are very popular choices. now, if anyone reads this and i have not asked you about the survey, please comment and tell me. it will make the starving kittens in japan very happy. though i doubt anyone will comment, because no one ever does. anyway, today was a terrible day. i have project grow tomorrow afternoon. bleh. i also did not do outstanding on my math test. and when i say i didn't do outstanding, i mean i got a 45. oops. anywho, other than those details, today actually wasn't all that bad. not too bad at all, just tremendously boring. like always. farewell. 2 -- at least show me some sympathy.

i wanna hate you so bad.. but i can't [07 Dec 2003|09:12pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | a static lullaby | a song for a broken heart ] okay! tomorrow is school and i am going! i have done my homework, picked out clothing, and i have gotten a shower and such. but do you know something, while i was showering, i was thinking. i was thinking about how strange it is that when you buy shampoo and they give you a free gift of conditioner, that the bottle of conditioner is much too small for any normal human being. i mean, why would you buy an enormous bottle of shampoo that comes with free conditioner, if you only intend to use the conditioner once, or twice if you dont have as much hair? bleh. and do you know what else i was thinking. i was thinking that tomorrow will be interesting. not because anything interesting is planned, but because i will MAKE it interesting. i know, i know. HOW in bob's name would someone as boring as i do such a thing? i'll tell you how. tomorrow, i am going to take over the world! or maybe i won't. yes, i can already tell. tomorrow will be as boring as your mother. but on a happier note, my hair smells reeeeally good. and that is why i love shampoo. anyway, i have been thinking some more. and i have no idea what to do with my journal. it doesn't feel right anymore. i think it's quite possible that i liked my very first layout better than all the other ones. i know, it was plain and boring, but that my friend, that is me. so maybe i will change it back, or maybe i'll find something better. stay tuned to find out. at least show me some sympathy.

breaking hearts has never looked so cool [06 Dec 2003|04:27pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | the early november | all we ever needed ] wow, it is snowing. and it's pretty. you know, i really like snow. it's cold and white, not to mention fun to play in AND it gives days off from school. just think, where else could you make snowmen? not in the rain or any other type of weather. anyway, it's been a while since i wrote a real entry, but i never really write real entires anyway. but whatever. so i missed school wednesday, thursday, and friday, so i can't write about that, but here at home, things have been quite interesting. or maybe they haven't. but i did get my christmas tree and my mom is decorating the inside of the house right now. christmas is coming pretty fast this year. yep, pretty fast. so! right about now, i'm sitting here. and do you know what i'm doing? i'm typing this journal entry and eating white chocolate reese's peanut butter cups. and these things are really good. they actually taste like the normal ones, only with better packaging. so yeah, i'm going to go. bye. at least show me some sympathy.

yeah.. [05 Dec 2003|08:56pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | mayfield | falling apart ] NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Could become a good doctor. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never gives up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable. Find your month, post it in your journal and strike out the characteristics that aren't you. Then post all the rest of the months for your journal friends. ( Find Your Month ) at least show me some sympathy.

tonight we broke our plans to play games with our hearts [02 Dec 2003|10:27pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | rufio | in my eyes ] so, i forgot to write anything in here yesterday, but nothing fun happened at all. once again. today, unsurprisingly, the exact same thing happened. i woke up at about 6:20, got ready for school, and hopped on the bus. or maybe i cautiously walked across the street and slowly walked up the stairs and sat down. you decide. at school, i did, hm, absolutely nothing. sure, i learned a few things and whatnot, but in most cases, theyre things that will most certainly not help in the long run. but, whatever. after eighth period, i went to my locker, and got my books, bookbag, etc. and walked out the door. i then bumped into emma. she offered me a piece of gum, but i had already received some from my mother, so i declined. i then walked onto my bus and sat down. michelle was at student council, so yippee, i had the entire seat to myself. it was cool. well not really. i then got home, and i decided to have an after school snack. or maybe after school lunch since i dont eat lunch at school. weird. and do you know what i had? i had a turkey sandwich with cheese and it was good. Lyk WoaAHhh. speaking of lyk woah-nesses, make sure you incorporate it into everyday conversation. so we've covered school, bus, turkey sandwiches, what's left? well, i'm sitting here right now and it's 10-something, and i've still got homework left. perhaps i should not be a slacker and do it without procrastination. hah hah. sure. well, whatever, i have to go anyway. have a nice evening. at least show me some sympathy.

don't blame me. blame your irrational fear of fake hair. [30 Nov 2003|08:25pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | mest | opinions ] so, it appears that everything is a-okay with matt again. though i have a sneaky suspicion that something's not the same, but then again, it hasnt really been for a while. anyway, today was boring. i stayed home again and drank chocolate milk all day because it's good. it was fun until my mom yelled at me about drinking a whole gallon of milk. thanks mom, i hope i have osteoporosis in the older years. well, other than just doing nothing like always, today i got harassed by another of meghan's friends, monica. so, hm, that makes it six. wow. i feel like a celebrity. a celebrity who kicked a puppy. but there was no need for her to involve all of these people. but whatever. as far as i'm concerned the problem has been resolved, or as resolved as it's going to get. im not explaining to another person why i dont like her or why i waste so much time being immature and not liking someone. im so very sorry if i was always under the impression that i was allowed to form my own opinions about people, even if i am wrong. which im not. so tomorrow is school. a whole day, unfortunately. i'm hoping everything turns out fine. and i'm sure it will. to be honest i think these people are making empty threats. what? are they going to beat me up or *gasp* kill if i dont stop saying things? and then when they get asked about it, what will they say? "oh, we just beat her up because she didnt like someone. woohoo, punk rock forever." that most definitely will go over well. anyway, i need to get ready for school and whatnot, so yeah. have a night. 2 -- at least show me some sympathy.

when it all goes to hell will you be able to tell me you're sorry with a straight face? [30 Nov 2003|12:17am] [ mood | worried ] [ music | something corporate | youre gone ] so i have been thinking, like always. my journal entries have been getting really stupid. alright, so i found out a lot of stuff that either wasnt true or i didnt want to know. unlike a lot of other people, though, i think i will try to get over it, though it will be hard since i have valid reasons for everything i say. but whatever. im wrong and i always will be. at least until matt and meghan break up or one of her friends actually see what i see. though that will never happen because 7th grade love ALWAYS lasts forever and no one ever stabs their friends in the back. ..hah. anyway. i was looking over these AIM logs i found from over the summer, and its weird. me and ian actually had conversations that didnt consist of hey, whats up, g2g. and matt was actually my friend and despite what meghan said, he seemed to actually somewhat like me. and while were on the topic of meghan, i found a conversation from her, you know when she was a short stop "qt" not a good simple reject, and she was trying to give me matt because i liked him more than her or something, it didnt make too much sense. also, i read things from blake and my cousin and they were also extra weird. i even found out i talked to myself on occasion. that was fun, i like semi-good or retarded memories. hm. anyway, today was dumb, naturally, and i just realized it was saturday. that means that tomorrow is sunday, and after that monday. monday should prove to be an interesting day. i wonder how many menacing dirty looks i will receive. well, thats the end. 2 -- at least show me some sympathy.

i'm miserable and youre just getting started [28 Nov 2003|09:44pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | taking back sunday | bike scene ] so, with careful consideration, i have decided that i may write about meghan again. i know, i know. i have no life, im a freak, AND im mean. but, mean, "freeky" people with no friends need to occupy their time with things other than "sitting in a corner". anyway, youre probably wondering why the above are in quotations. and that is because meghan brennan and her posse have said things along those lines. apparently, i have "No friends" and judging people by their music and what they wear [which i dont, by the way] "seys im a poser". well who cares. everyone fails to notice the things that i notice and it makes me mad. so, i told her i didnt like her and the reasons why i dont. so now i'm a bad person, right. it's really making me angry how people are gonna pretend they like everyone. surrre. and the way people are going to talk about me. wow, darrell, im so glad you told ian not to talk to me because i want to fight meghan. and matt, i love how you dont like me anymore because i stated 100% true facts. oh and who could forget all the people who think im a freak with no friends who just hates people for the heck of it. i really love people. ( Read more... ) so yeah, have a good night. 1 -- at least show me some sympathy.

you can tell me how vile i already know that i am [28 Nov 2003|07:48pm] [ mood | enraged ] [ music | brand new | the boy who blocked his own shot ] okay. this is the rule. if you look at my journal at all, comment. even if i dont know you, comment. if i do, still comment. even rude, hateful things are welcome. everytime i look at my journal, i feel like a loser. and its all because of you. yes you. so write anything. even if its a capital q, it is absolutely fine. and dont worry, i have my ways of knowing if youve looked and havent commented. so what now, biatch? at least show me some sympathy.

i don't want to talk right now.. thank you for your concern. [28 Nov 2003|06:23pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | armor for sleep | the wanderers guild ] so it's been brought to my attention that i waste too much time "hatin'" meghan. by more than one person, in fact. and maybe i do. nearly every journal entry includes her. but no one seems to realize that i have good reasons. many, many good reasons including the following: 1. she says she likes bands, but she either only heard one or two songs, heard them on mtv, or got them from matt [probably indirectly from me actually] 2. she changed her hair, shoes, clothes, etc. to enhance "her image" adding to number 2 it severely bothers me how last year she came right out and said she didnt know why people liked converses and the kind of music she "likes" now. of course, though, she doesnt remember. 3. she thinks shes too cool for all the bands she thinks makes people "posers". for instance good charlotte, simple plan. supposedly, she doesnt like them anymore. 4. the bands she says she likes, like rufio and matchbook romance, were handed to her like nothing, where i had to actually find them, and now theyre her favorites and whatnot 5. shes [surprise, surprise] very popular. everyone likes her and regardless of what i say or what she does, no one seems to notice at all that shes completely different than last year. now, naturally, she knows i dont like her, and i told her all the reasons why. all the reasons above in fact. yet, she still somehow believes she's something she's not. i'm sure it seems like i waste a lot of time talking about her, trying to put her down or something, but i just really feel like she has life way too easy. so now that people have formed their opinions about me, and now that matt doesnt like me anymore, i think this will be my last entry about her, just so people can keep believing what they believe about her. well, whatever. anyway, today i woke up at 10:42 and ate cereal. i helped my mom a little, and didnt go anywhere. overall, this day sucked. in more ways than one. 2 -- at least show me some sympathy.

she'll destroy us all before she's through and find a way to blame somebody else [27 Nov 2003|08:50pm] [ mood | shocked ] [ music | matchbook romance | tiger lily ] AH-hem. so today was thanksgiving. i woke up at 6:25 so we could get to philadelphia early and "beat the traffic". naturally, though, we left at 8 o' clock, and there was no traffic, but you know my family. or maybe you dont, i dont really know. anyway, we arrived, [without steve by the way] and it was kind of stupid. we sat for hours playing nintendo and that was fun. until the children arrived. then it was just gay. well, whatever. so then it was dinner time and a bunch of these people came that i didnt know. i felt uncomfortable. then those people left and it was just my family and my aunts. and then they started fighting when we had dessert. it was funny like your mom. coconut custard pie is good, just so you know. but it's even better when there's conflict. but you know something, my mom doesnt like conflict. so we left. and then we drove home. we dropped jenn off at steve's and aunt gina off at aunt gina's house. eventually, i got home, too, and i put on some pajamas, and walked over to the computer. i sat down at the desk and turned on the monitor. wow! i actually got messages while i was gone. however, on a more somber note, matt monteith doesnt like me anymore. perhaps it's because i write bad, yet completely, totally, absolutely true things about his girlfriend. wow, we must have had a great friendship. well, whatever, i guess. at least show me some sympathy.

nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you [26 Nov 2003|01:53pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | mae | this time is the last time ] so today i just heard this story and it goes like this: once upon a time there was a little girl named lisa. she woke up this morning at 6:25 like always, got dressed, straightened her hair, and went to school..you know, like the good citizen she is. lisa then completed yet another half day of school, and left for the bus. she suddenly noticed her arch nemesis. today she was wearing safety pins, checkered shoelaces, EMMA's checkered belt, and a checkered wristband. everyone surely loves the matching skillZ of the punk rockers of today. anyway, lisa got on the bus [yes, the little one] and went home. now surely youre asking yourself how such a fantastical story could be true, but i assure you, it is. for this was my day. anyway, tomorrow is thanksgiving, and it should prove to be a rather interesting day. i'm going to philadelphia to spend the day at my aunt sandie and uncle art's house. also there will be crazy aunt dee, my aunt gina, my aunt sissy and her family, all of my immediate family, my cousin tyler, and of course my ghetto fabulous cousin matt. g-unit, ott. oh yeah, and my sister's boyfriend steve. bitch. let's hope all goes well. at least show me some sympathy.

search for this on google : sugar glider. [25 Nov 2003|05:33pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | fall out boy | the pros and cons of breathing ] alright, so, another day is coming to a close. well, maybe not, since its only 5-something. anyway. today, i went through the same morning routine as yesterday. surprise, surprise. i got on the bus and went to school. at school, i did nothing interesting. when school ended, i decided to walk to my bus. on the way, i got pushed by people i didnt know AND i got stuck behind the slowest children in all of the world. eventually, i came across my bus, though, and i got on it, in spite of my better judgment. DUN DUN DUN. now i'm trying to make this dramatic, for it really was. anywho, i had the same substitute bus driver as yesterday, you know, the crazy one with the weirdo bus. she was getting disgruntled because the "cool kids" and good simple rejects were standing up and such. she made death threats. naturally, i was being a well-behaved citizen. for the most part. well, the ride was very unusual, but sooner or later, it ended. i felt like molesting nick on the way home, but my charm doesnt work on him. odd... well, whatever. i got home at about 1 o' clock because of the half day, to find that my parents were taking my brother, my sister, and me to the movies at 2:40. we saw 'cat in the hat'. and it was good. so now, here i am, eating lucky charms. and theyre good. so that was my day. and it was magical. at least show me some sympathy.

grasp our hands together, we feel we are one result [24 Nov 2003|08:40pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | the juliana theory| this is your life ] im bored, so, here are some song lyrics to think about. spitalfield: kill the drama i'd really like to see you there i can't pretend like i don't care because i really do, yeah please just kill the drama go to sleep we'll talk tomorrow dream about me, and don't worry we'll be fine can you hear me can you see me what i don't know cannot hurt me can you hear me can you see me what i don't know cannot hurt me i'm turning around i'm turning around, i'm turning it up, i'm taking it out i'm turning around, i'm falling apart, i'm hitting the ground i'm turning around, i'm turning it up, i'm taking it out i'm turing around, i'm falling apart, i'm hitting the ground if you said that you were leaving i'd ask where we were going do you really, because i really do want everything to work out like the motion picture ending it's what i really meant to say can you hear me can you see me what i don't know cannot hurt me can you hear me can you see me what i don't know cannot hurt me i'm turning around i'm turning around, i'm turning it up, i'm taking it out i'm turing around, i'm falling apart, i'm hitting the ground i'm turing around, i'm turing it up, i'm taking it out i'm turing around, i'm falling apart, i'm hitting the ground what i don't know cannot hurt me another half day tomorrow, wa-hoo. at least show me some sympathy.

keepin' it gangsta, ott. [24 Nov 2003|01:40pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | senses fail | bloody romance ] so, here i am on a brisk monday afternoon, eating tostitos and salsa. and you know what i am thinking? i'm thinking that these things are the shnizzle. but other than that, i am thinking about what went on today, for it was a crazy day. this morning, i woke up at 6:25, or maybe later, whatever. i straightened my hair, then got dressed. i wore a shirt and pants. you know how i "rock dat shit". then i went down to the busstop. it was gay. i got on the bus, went to school, etc... at school, do you know what happened? nothing, sir, nothing at all. HOWEVER! it was a half day, and the schedule was odd, but who really cares? so anyway, and this is where it gets interesting so pay attention, school ended. i was walking to my bus when i encountered my good friend emma. and by good friend, i mean we've only talked in public three times, plus or minus. anyway, we were talking about good simple rejects and such when the topic of my arch nemesis popped up. we were talking about how emma and her have the same belt, you know how it is. well, thats the end of that part of my day. well next i was on my bus, and it was a weird. we had a substitute with a mentally challenged bus and i felt like a giant, or just regular sized in a little bus. i was sitting there with my sister and we were just talking about nothing and whatnot. but what im trying to say is that i asked michael kosciewicz to beat up my arch nemesis, for five dollars. and do you know what? he refused. son of a biznatch. then he proceeded to tell her! i mean, have a little sense, quarter face. well, now some people are thinking i dont like her because she goes out with matt, but that is absolutely not it. i mean, puhh-lease, there are plenty of other extremely plausible reasons i dont like her, reasons i wont talk about at the moment. now there you go, that was my day. and it was terribly retarded. 1 -- at least show me some sympathy.

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