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Christine's Journal

30th July, 2003. 8:54 pm. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ice!
ICE is your chinese symbol!


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I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY AUNT IS A LITTLE BITCH AND I CAN'T FUCKING STAND HER....SHE TELLS MY BROTHER A LIE TO GO TO THE JEWELERY STORE SO HE COULD TAKE MY COUSIN FOR R IDE IT'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DOING ALL THAT SHIT...WHAT A FUCKING LAZY ASS MOTHER I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HER THE SELFISH ,LAZY IRRESPONSIBLE BITCH...WOW HAHA SHE RUBBED OFF ON HER BITCHY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!
AND MY DAD SAYING...OOOO NOONE CAN BE ANYWHERE AT 8:30 STFU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK URSELF!!!!!!
AND MY SISTER...WTF....SHE HATES MYCOUSIN AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE'S NOT BEST FRIENDS WITH NICOLE ANYMORE...SHE JUMPS FROM ONE PERSON TO THE OTHER AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO BAD.....LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT? SHE'S SO FUCKING WEAK IT'S DISGUSTING, JUST LIKE MY MOTHER!!! FUCK HER FAKE AS BITCH...I TOLD HER SLUT FUCK BUDDY THAT SHES A FAKE SLUTTY BITCH HAHA AND HE DIDN'T DENY IT SO IT FUCKING SEEMS HE AGREES WITH ME....NOT SUPRISING!
AND AGAIN WITH FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE...I ENVISION SCREAMING AT HER AND SETTING HER INTO PLACE...ITS ANNOYING HOW SHE SCREAMS AT EVERYBODY AND THINKS THAT SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ALLOWED TO TAKE SHIT SERIOUSLY AND SCREAM AT EVERYBODY AND NOONE CAN SCREAM BACK AT HER....STFU FAT ASS GO LOSE SOME WEIGHT!
IF I STAND IN HERE FOR ANOTHER SECOND IM GONNA FUCKING CRACK!!!!!! ONE MORE FUCKING MONTH!! I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current mood: infuriated.

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29th July, 2003. 11:04 pm. "BITCH I'M GONNA KILL YOU. YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH ME!!"

I'M REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY FUCKING MAD MAD MAD MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEMME TELL YOU THE FUCKING STORY OF MY FUCKING FUCKED UP DAY THAT MADE ME FUCKING ANGRY AND PISSED OFF THAT I WANTED TO FUCKING KILL EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!
SO I WENT TO THE MOVIES TODAY WITH MY BROTHER GEORGE, MY COUSIN PATRICK, MY WONDERFUL SELF, AND MY OTHER COUSIN...LET'S JUST CALL HER FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE (NAME PUT LAST BECUZ SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO HAVE HER NAME PUT BEFORE MINE). SO I WAS REALLY THIRSTY AND I HAD 15 DOLLARS. FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE ASKED ME TO LEND HER MONEY SO I LENT HER 5 DOLLARS AND DIDN'T GET A DRINK. AFTER WE PAYED FOR OUR TICKETS, FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE HAD 3 DOLLARS LEFT OVER AND INSTEAD OF GIVING IT TO ME SHE DOES THE IRRESPONSIBLE THING AND BUYS SKITTLES WITH IT WHILE IN DEBT. THEN LATER ON SHE TELLS ME SHE OWES ME ONLY 3 DOLLARS INSTEAD OF 5 CUZ OF THE SKITTLES SHE BOUGHT. WTF?!?!?! SHE'S SO FUCKING STUPID AND UNINTELLIGENT AND FUCKING DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOPS I FORGOT NAIVE! HOW IRRESPONSIBLE OF HER!!!!! THEN MY COOL (BUT DRAMATIC) SISTER, MY WONDERFUL SELF, AND FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE WENT TO GET SOUP. BUT FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE WANTED TO GO TO SHOPRITE TO GET COOKED SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE STARTS SCREAMING SAYING "I WANT SHOPRITE I DON'T WANT CANNED SOUP!!" BUT OF COURSE ALL HAIL FUCKING FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MY SISTER WENT TO SHOPRITE LIKE A MORON (NO OFFENSE TO HER). I WOULDVE TOLD FAT STUBBORN WHORE TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR OR SHUT THE FUCK UP. BUT ANYWAY............WHEN WE WENT I NOTICED THAT FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE WAS PICKING OUT CANNED SOUPS...(WTF NOW SHE DOESN'T WANT COOKED!!) SO I ASKED...."HOW R U GETTING SOUP U OWE ME MONEY?".....THEN SHE SCREAMS LIKE AN IDIOT..."IT'S NONE OF UR FUCKING BUSSINESS IM BORROWING MONEY FROM JEN ILL NEVER ASK U TO BORROW MONEY AGAIN UIR SUCH A BAD COUSIN!!!!".....BUT WHAT I HEARD WAS..."IM A FAT BITCH WHO CLAIMS TO BE A LOT OF GOOD THINGS BUT IN REALITY IM A SHIT LOAD OF BAD THINGS AND IM IMMATURE AND IM FAT AND SKANKY!!!"...OMG FAT WHORE GO EASY ON URSELF!!.....ANYWAY THEN SHE SAYS..."ASK ME TO GIVE U THE MONEY AGAIN..." SO I DID IT JUST TO PISS HER OFF...THEN I WALKED AWAY....NEXT TIME SHE SCREAMS AT ME IN A PUBLIC PLACE...ILL FUCKING DO IT BACK TO HER...BUT LOUDER...AND ILL MAKE MORE OF A SCENE...U WANNA KNOW WHY?...CUZ IM THE WONDERFUL CHRISTINE AND IF U TRY TO FUCK WITH ME U WILL GET BURNED!!! AND IF U SCREAM AT ME ILL SCREAM BACK....TO MANY PEOPLE HAVE FUCKED WITH ME BEFORE AND I KNOW LONGER ALLOW IT....HAHAHA!!!!!!....ANYWAYS!!!!! LEMME TELL U THE FUCKING MONOPOLY STORY WHICH PROVES THAT FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE IS A SORE-LOSER AS WELL WHO NEEDS TO HAVE HER WAY IN EVERYTHING OR ELSE SHE'LL SCREAM AND POUT BECUZ SHE'S IMMATURE AND DUMB.....
MY BROTHER....MY COUSIN PATRICK...MY WONDERFUL SELF....AND FAT STUBBORN WHORE WERE PLAYING MONOPOLY...AND SHE OWED MY BROTHER 2000 DOLLARS AND SAID..."I OWE U" WTF?!?!?! THATS NOW HOW U PLAY IN THE REAL WORLD OR IN THE GAME U FUCKING NAIVE, IRRESPONSIBLE, STUBBORN, BITCH....SO SHE THREW HER PROPERTY AND MONEY AT MY BROTHER CUZ SHES A LITTLE SORE-LOZER AND SHE GOT MAD CUZ MY BROTHER WOULDN'T ACCEPT AN I OWE U...WTF I WOULDN'T HAVE EITHER...NEITHER WOULD A FUCKING REAL ESTATE AGENT IF U WERE BUYING A FUCKING HOUSE U FUCKING IDIOT....ANYWAY.....EVEN TYPING ABOUT HER IS PISSING ME OFF SO FUCK HER!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A LITTLE BITCH HER VOICE AND HER SKANKY SLOPPY APPEARANCE MAKES ME WANNA BARF!!!!!!!! ITS AMAZING U ACTUALLY HAD A BOYFRIEND U FAT-STUBBORN-WHORE....HEH HE MUST LIKE A FUCKING CHALLENGE....ANYWAY...
MY MOTHER IS A FUCKING SELFISH BITCH WITH ISSUES WHO CARES ABOUT NOONE BUT HERSELF....OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TOLD HER WHY I WAS SO ANGRY BECUZ SHE WANTED ME TO THEN SHE WENT TO WATCHING HER MOVIE BECUZ SHE IS SELFISH AND AT 40...NEEDS TO GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....SHE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND TO ME WHEN I TOLD HER BECUZ SHE HAD NOTHING ELSE TO SAY....SELFISH BITCH...OMG SHES LIKE MY COUSIN.....SHE DIDNT LET MY SISTER GO FOR A RIDE TONIGHT BECUZ SHE'S A CHILD IN DENIAL...HER FAMILY SUX AND SHE WANTS EVERYTHING TO RUN HER WAY SO SHE PISSES PEOPLE OFF IN THE PROCESS AND MAKES HER FAMILY HATE HER IN THE PROCESS....I TOLD HER I NEEDED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR A FUCKING MONTH AGO TO GET MY SHOTS AND SHE HASNT TAKEN ME YET....OOOOO BUT WHY SHOULD SHE, SHE HAS HER FUCKING COMPUTER CARD GAME TO KEEP HER SATISFIED...LITTLE BITCH....SHE CARES MORE ABOUT ME GAINING WEIGHT THEN HOW I FEEL INSIDE...WHAT A FUCKING MOTHER!!!!!!!!!! SHES TO EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE TO HAVE CHILDREN SHE SHOULDVE STOPPED AT 1...............I FUCKING CANT STAND LOOKING AT HER SOMETIMES U DONT UNDERSTAND....I HATE IT SO MUCH.....MY ISSTER HAS IT THE WORST THO....I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT...SHE TRYS TO CONTROL MY SISTER CUZ SHE KNOWS SHE CANT CONTROL MME OR MY BROTHER....FUCK MY MOTHER....IT'S NOT FAIR HOW SHE HAD 3 CHILDREN AND FORCED US TO TAKE CAER OF OURSELVES....SHE HAD US FOR SELFISH REASONS SHE OWES US HER FUCKING LIFE!!
LOL U WANNA HEAR SOMETHING FUNNY.......I CRAPPED BLOOD 2 DAYS AGO CUZ I HAD SO MUCH BOTTLED UP ANGER...HAHAHA EWWWWWWWWWW.........

Current mood: angry.
Current music: Eminem:Kill You.

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26th July, 2003. 12:03 am. "We're the Broadway Kids! There's music in our hearts!"

I had a nice day today. I had fun. Megan invited me to the play Chess to see Danny and it was a kewl play. The music was incredible and the actors were great. My favorite character was Freddie...he was so kewl!! hehehehe. Going to the play actually made me feel good. My side was hurting throughout the play but who cares about that lol I was happy. Megan me were talking throughout it and John was too and everyone was staring getting all mad. LOL it was great. The play, was kinda stupid. But after someone explained it to me lol I wanted to cry it was really sad as fuck. But I felt relieved to see people my own age from school and everything. It was fun and I am really happy right now.:-)

Current mood: happy.
Current music: Broadway Kids:We're the Broadway Kids.

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24th July, 2003. 6:29 pm. "What a girl wants, what a girl needs. Whatever makes you happy sets you free."

What I want in my life...(I figure this will be easier for me to get my life in order...to list what would make me happy."

1. A circle of friends whom I like and enjoy spending time with.
I don't have that now. I may enjoy spending time with a few people but I certainly don't feel comfortable around most of them. It makes me feel guilty and alone.

2. A boyfriend who I LOVE!
I want a commitment I need it right now.

3. Good grades
So I can fullfill my goals.

4. A job.
So I can have my OWN money rather than daddy's.

5. A car.
That's gonna take a while.

If anyone can help me in anyway...I'm willing to except advice:-).

Current mood: lonely.
Current music: Christina Aguilera:What A Girl Wants.

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24th July, 2003. 12:25 pm. "What would you do? Get up my feet and let of every excuse."

Time and time again...I'm struck with this feeling. It's a short-lived feeling...but it's there. It's a feeling that feels like I should stick it out with everything...like there is hope for me yet. I don't know what this means, but maybe I'll figure it out. Anyways...I don't know when the last time I actually wrote an entry in this journal yet...so I'll tell you what has happened since like, hmmmm Monday. Wait, on second thought, I don't even remember what happened on monday or what I did or felt like....so I'll write on the now. I'm kinda pissed now, because my cousin is FUCKING ANNOYING. The eldest one. I sometimes kinda think she's two-faced. Talking behind my sister's back saying all this shit then when I yell at my sister about something she defends her. She wants my sister to be on good terms with her because my sister never liked her either. LOL what do u know high school in my own home lol HOW GAY! Anywhos....just in case you're bored...fill out this survey bout me haha...
1. Am I cute?:
2. Am I hot?:
3. Am I sweet?:
4. Am I crazy?:
5. Am I loveable?:
6. Am I funny?:
7. Am I annoying?:
8. Am I psycho?:
9. Am I daring?:
10. Am I a good person?:
11. Am I sexy?:

*****WOULD YOU...*****
12. Hug me?:
13. Miss me if I was gone?:
14. Listen to my problems?:
15. Hug me if i cried?:
16. Be a good friend?:
17. Ever go out with me?:
18. If you already have would u do it again?:
19. Kiss me ((Really))?:
20. Marry me if u could?:

*****HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME?*****
21. When's my birthday?:
22. How old am I?:
23. What school do I go to?:
24. Do i have any siblings ~> names?? :
25. Who is my most current ex?:
26. Who is my best friend?:
27. Who am i crushing on/dating?:
28. Favorite animal?:
29. Favorite sport?:
30. Favorite TV show?:
31. Favorite song/songs?:
32. Favorite music group?:

*****IF YOU COULD*****
33. Give me a new name, what would it be and why?:
34. Hook me up with someone (real), who would it be and why?:
35. Do one thing with me what would it be and why?:
36. Drop me one piece of advice, what would it be?:

*****JUST A FEW QUESTIONS*****
37. What do you love about me?:
38. What do you hate about me?(seriously):
39. What is my best quality?:
40. If you could change one thing about me what would it be?:
41. What is your honest opinion of me?:

K anywhos...I'm watching Maury now...awwww....how annoyin! I can't stand anyone...Now I have an icky feeling...like in the pit of my stomach...I can't stand anything today JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!

Current mood: odd.
Current music: City High:What Would You Do.

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24th July, 2003. 9:31 am.


You are Psychic!


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:-)

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23rd July, 2003. 1:39 pm.

Middle East
Threat reating: Extreme. You see that black sedan
outside your window? Big brother is watching...


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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LOLOL hahahaha

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23rd July, 2003. 1:14 pm.

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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22nd July, 2003. 10:59 pm. I'm a bad fucking person.

So now I know why I have no friends I'm a bad person...it's all clear to me an that's why I'm left with nothing. Anyways...I have a plastic tooth lol how funny...anyway...fuck u im out bye

Current mood: insecure.

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21st July, 2003. 12:38 pm. "My body's like woa! My kiss is like woa! My ass is like woa!"

So I'm at Bergan college right now with my cousin and we're waiting for my sister to get out of class....LOL but I have to tell you about last night...FUNNY SHIT!...
My brother's girlfriend slept over since my parents are away and her and my sister got mad drunk last night and acted like a bunch of idiots...LOL I was about to go to sleep at like 2:00 in the morning until my cousin wanted me to go help him tame the drunk buddies...LOL I didn't go to bed until 5:30 and I woke up at 10:00....LOL But it was funny they ran around my neighbor's yard naked and went skinny dipping and peeed everywhere....lol ew...but neway...
I feel very lonely right now....and I'm gonna be feeling that way next week becuz my sister and brother and one of my cousins are going down the shore with people but they're leaving my oldest cousin behind cuz noone likes her supposebly. I feel kinda bad for her but I dunno I've been told by somebody (thank u for ur concern meg;-) that I have friends but I don't....I have nobody...I'm such a fucking loser no wonder I feel so bad about myself lol....I friendless....but even if I did have friends it feels like I don't for this reason...and screw it if someone sees I don't wanna hold back nemore....
I feel like I don't fit in with ANY of my supposed friends....I feel like I have nothing in common with any of them and I don't know what to do about that it's like just...my friends and me don't like, connect. I don't fucking know but it sucks...and I don't now what to FUCKING do anymore....
besides the fact...I'm fucking numb I am no longer capable of feeling anything...I'm fucking dead inside weird huh?

Current mood: lonely.
Current music: Mya:Like Woa.

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