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Friday, March 11th, 2005
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1:57p - THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD HAVE STUPID NAMES
TODAY THE FORBES LIST OF THE 400 RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAME OUT, AND UPON INSPECTION, I NOTICED SOME OF THESE PEOPLE'S NAMES ARE RIDICULOUS. DUE TO SHEER BOREDOM AT THE JOB THAT WILL NEVER ALLOW ME TO EARN ANY SWEET MOOLAH, I HAVE THROWN TOGETHER THIS LITTLE LIST:
**I SWEAR ALL OF THESE NAMES ARE REAL, AND YOU CAN CHECK THEM OUT AT FORBES.COM**
RICH PEOPLE MOST LIKELY TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A CHINESE FOOD MENU ITEM:
LIM GOH TONG
TEH HONG PIOW
TOM KWOK
TSAI WAN TSAI
RICH PEOPLE THAT SOUND MORE LIKE A CORPORATION THAN A PERSON:
IMOGENE POWERS JOHNSON
JORGEN PHILLIP-SORENSON
PETER KELLOGG
RALPH LAUREN
RICH PEOPLE THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE INCLUDED AS CHARACTERS FROM LORD OF THE RINGS:
RICHARD MANOOGIAN
HARRY TRIGUBOFF
JOHN MORGRIDGE
JOHN GANDEL
KHALAF AL HABTOOR
AXEL OBERWELLAND
RICH PEOPLE WHOSE NAMES COULD ALLOW THEM TO HAVE PROMISING CAREERS AS LOCAL RADIO DJS:
DIRK ZIFF
CLEMMIE SPANGLER
RICH PEOPLE THAT PROVE THAT ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD CANNOT MAKE YOU SEEM COOL:
WINTHROP ROCKEFELLER
PINCUS GREEN
MARVIN HERB
ADOLF MERCKLE
HUBERT BURDA
RICH PEOPLE WHO COULD EITHER BE CHARACTERS FROM A CHILDREN'S BOOK OR NATIVE AMERICANS:
FORREST MARS
JAMES GOODNIGHT
DICK RAINWATER
PAUL FIREMAN
J. FLOWERS
RICH PEOPLE WHO HAVE NAUGHTY NAMES:
BARBARA COX
CHUCK BUTT
PAT WANG
STANLEY HO
HENRY FOK
ISAK ANDIC
DIETRICH MATESCHITZ
RICH PERSON WHOSE NAME SOUNDS LIKE A CASH REGISTER:
LA KA-SHING
RICH PERSON WHO SOUNDS LIKE EITHER A CHARACTER FROM AIRPLANE!OR AN ADOLESCENT BOYS' CARTOON:
JON STRYKER
RICH PEOPLE WHO COULD BE MISTAKEN FOR EVIL VILLAINS IN ANY BRUCE WILLIS OR JAMES BOND MOVIE, AND ALSO ANY CARTOON FROM THE 60'S:
DIETER VON HOLTZBRINK
FRITS GOLDSCHMEDING
JONATHAN HARMSWORTH
FRIEDRICH FLICK JR.
AUGUST VON FINCK
SERGE DESSAULT
BORRIS IVANISHVILI
RICH PEOPLE WHOSE NAMES ARE PROBABLY IMPOSSIBLE TO ANNOUNCE AT ANY PUBLIC EVENT:
BJORGOLFUR THOR BJORGOLFSSON
BULENT ECZACIBASI
MARIA ASCUNCION ARAMBURUZABALA
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