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Friday, January 7th, 2005
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11:02p
for the last 5 days straight i have been doing research for my paper. the only conclusion i have come to so far is that reading about thinking about thinking is really wearing me out. i'm reading book after book about the soul and the mind, and the philosophy of cognition - as i am reading, i am thinking "i am doing this right now!" and then i have to concentrate harder so i can continue to read about thinking about thinking. it's called metacognition. it's what separates us from the monkeys. but reading about it day after day, and thinking about it constantly has left me in a odd sort of state of mind. half the time i feel really smart, and then the other half of the time i feel incredibly stupid.
i always do this to myself. i start out with the best intentions, and then i go and muck it up by making it WAY more complicated than it ever should have been. somehow in my mind i am molding this theory - taking parts of various -ologies (i.e. psych, anthro, soc, bio, theo, and philo) and mushing it all together and coming up with something that is not only coherent, but also intelligent enough to wow the admissions boards at rutgers and the university of connecticut. at least enough to let me go to their schools.
it's a relief knowing that in a week i will be finished with all of the application process. i miss having nothing to do. i don't want anymore deadlines or homework. i want to read some novels and watch cartoons and play the piano. fuck school. cheesesteaks rule!
current mood:  confused
current music: the smiths (comment on this)
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