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Blurty for Christyna.
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| Saturday, October 11th, 2003 |
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| Hey peoples, yeah yesterday was another lame old football game. Practice was hell and when we got back we got punished and had to do 240 push ups. Im tired. Ugh. My best friend is spending the whole weekend with me. Im so happy because i havent spent time with her in like 3 or 4 months. She's at drama practice now but she should be back in like 45 minutes. Last night i had a dream that i died. It was weird it was like i was watching myself die. Well i dont wanna talk about that so i'll talk about something else. On a brighter note, i dont completely hate myself today.But yeah...im gunna go and uhhh...breathe and stuff so i'll write more later. | ||||||
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| Tuesday, October 7th, 2003 |
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| It's tuesday morning and i'm at school in 1st period with my friend Treasure. Last night was kind of strange. All my friend seem to wanna kill themselves. Tosha emailed me telling me that she wanted to jump off the roof. Ugh...i've gone so far past fed up that now i just don't care. I'm sick of thinking that it's my fault. I'm sick of being the one that has to make everyone feel better when i can't eve help myself feel like im worth a damn. Sera slept over on Saturday night and she fell asleep while i was talking to her. I just really needed someone to talk to but it's like i have no one. Everyone comes to me looking for help which leaves me no time to even help myself. Sometimes I feel like i have to be selfish and think about myself once and a while because no one else will. Yesterday was my mothers birthday, she turned 41...damn my mom is old. Amanda came over and we walked over from the mall to Michael's to get some stuff for your halloween costume. I'm skipping the stupid football game to have one friday to myself. I'm sick of all this colorguard/ band shit. Everyone's getting to me. Now im wanna kill everyone and spit on their dead bodies. But yeah...i have to go so i'll write later. | ||||||
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| Sunday, October 5th, 2003 |
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| Hi, im back. After how many years? Damn! Its been ages since i've written in this thing called a journal. Im a senior now and im twice as ugly as i was before. Hey!! But you already knew that. So yeah, things have been weird lately. Everythings' fucked up and confusing. My mothers birthday is tomarrow but yeah ANYWAYS... can you tell i dont care? So um yeah. Whats up? Why am i asking myself stupid questions. My IQ remains the same wopping level as it did 17 years ago. But i'm going to make this entry short so i'll see you in my next life. | ||||||||
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| Saturday, May 17th, 2003 |
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| Wednesday, May 14th, 2003 |
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| so its been a while and well i went out with jess for about a week before she realized she was still "in love" with her ex.....She asked ME out and she's telling ME that she loves me.....and then when we broke up she telling me i need to move on? Ok??!! whats wrong with this picture. I dunno ...it matters to me and i cant say that it doesnt becuz it hurt and the worse part is that the "ex" g/f she was reffering to is my ex.....you see why im so hurt/pissed/confused/frustrated.....and she treats jess like shit to i dont even know why she wants that again.....it'll be her fault this time cuz she knows what she getting into. I want what makes her happy....and if thts it....then so be it. So once again im alone and confused and dazed.....Yeah!! So whats new?? | ||||||
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| Saturday, April 26th, 2003 |
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| Its 10 something in the morning and im awake.....i had to perform in some parade but they canceled it becuz its raining. So im here with nothing to do ....im supposed to be doing my research paper....but i cant concentrate. My family is somewhere i cant really remember where they said they were going. But they will be gone all day,which is a plus for me becuz i just need to be alone. So yeah....i really really like jess but i barely get to talk to her and i dont know if its becuz she's "busy" or maybe she just doesnt wanna talk to me. well im leaving now but i still remain dazed and confused. | ||||||
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| Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003 |
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| This is my first entry....which means that i could waste time making all nice and formal but then again who gives a shit?! I dont....so yeah. I have a friend whos name is Jess.....i like her a lot......but she doesnt feel the same.....i wish she did though......becuz i cant keep pretending to not like her. Sooner or later she's going to find out and im not gunna know what to do. While at the same time i like this girl named Andrea. I know its wrong to like 2 people but it happens and you cant control it. So what do i do. I dont know which one i like better. I like them both. A lot. Jess lives closer to me than andrea....andrea lives in ocala...and jess lives maybe like 2 hours away. I dont know what to think of what i should be feeling but these are just thoughts and i am just a girl and this is just another day. | ||||||
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Blurty for Christyna.
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