sometimes, going home is a real trip
so here i am on the eve of my last day of break. i move back to school tomorrow. this break has been...interesting, i suppose. i did a lot of thinking. im usually a very introspective person, but its been worse than usual. things just feel like they changed a lot around here so it forced me to ask myself was it really just me who changed? i think i have, for good and for bad. i don't want to get into everything, but i feel like i have a better grip on myself and what i want that i did all semester...than i have in a long time, actually. i think that having time to myself made me realize who i am, ya know? i probably just sound like a whiny dawson's creek character, but its true!! like i had to let go of everything to find it again. i feel more like myself than i have in a long time, which is not always who i was at school. its just so easy to get caught up in...everything. how you look, what you do, how you act around different people...it all just got too be too much for me to handle sometimes. but not anymore. like im not saying im some crazy new person, or that i was just playing a role or something the past few months...but i think its more like i felt like i wasn;t always letting myself be me. i was trying to be what other people wanted me to be. or trying too hard to stand out. like i was looking in the mirror without make up last week and for the first time in a while i was really ok with that. its all kinda like that. does that make sense? im not so sure.
in other news....my caaaarrrrr is baaaccckkkkk!!!!! ahhhhhh!!!! complete with a real working cd player. omg i finally feel like im not stuck in the 80s anymore! and its all clean and smells good, like lemony something. i appreciate it so much more than i did before, let me tell you. its so nice to have her back!