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>>i will remember you will you remember me. dont let your life pass you by weep not for the memory [25 Sep 2003|03:18pm]
[ mood | shocked ]
[ music | Will You remember Me - sarah Mclaughlin ]

a good man died yesterday. he wasnt a family member. not even a good family friend, but he was a person.
a person i knew. a person who knew me. i dont know how old he was, i dont know his last name, but i know he was a good person. a great person. he was a guidence counseler at a school in Merrick. However, whenever he could, off the job, he lived for giving people advice. [he loved his job.] he worked as a head counceler at the camp i work at. . . and he was great at it. he lived for those kids.
he had two little ones of his own.
Jacklyn - seven years old
Logan - only four.
it breaks my heart. . . they dont have their beloved, 'daddy' any longer.

i dont know why i am so upset. i guess.. he was just such a sweet kind hearted man.
and .. you never know. .. when your last day will be.
he loved life, more than ever.
and from what i have heard, he was a sick man...
you wouldnt have known it... at all. he never even mentioned it.
and .. its scary to me, thinking how he knew. he was sick, and he still loved life, and lived it to it's fullest.

He was having surgery. when he died. [supposedly] and died when complications occured. . .
and i hate it. the fact that.. he passed away in a hospital somewhere..

he was only 'the driver' ... for me. but.. for so many more people.. he was amazingly sweet. and just from the time i spent on that bus ride too and from camp, i learned a lot, about him, myself, and live.

my sympathy to everyone whos heart he touched.

RIP >> Rick. <3
you were one great man. hope you knew it.

[ i will remember you. will you remember me. dont let your life, pass you by. ]
>> weep not for the memory


>>if those days are gone forever.. i should just let 'em go. but... [24 Sep 2003|05:43pm]
[ mood | hyper ]
[ music | Boys Of Summer - The Ataris ]

wow i have a LOT of updating to do!!! oh man i need to get this done more often.

>>We'll begin with last ... Saturday. yeahh thats it.
Well, saturday afternoon i went to homecoming with lindsey and my dear loreto <3 [ love you two ] and we basically walked around and did nothing. yeahh lol. we watched the footballers practice and stuffs, so.. yeparoo. lol. and uhm.. loreto wanted a fishie.. hehehehehehe. [that didnt happen. lol]
so then afterward, my parents drove me and loreto back to my house, and we chilled there until like 5:30. yeah. haha she fell asleep on my flor and i talked on the phone with vince.. who's biggest thing was, "torture your friend!" haha. what a funny kid. lol.
soo. i woke loreto up, and we got each other ready. like we were 10 years old. haha she did my hair and makeup! lol. whee...
and then lindsey picked us up. <3 haha we went to T.G.I.Fridays for Lidnseyes Birfday!
[ happy birfday lindsey ] // what an amazing time we had. oh man. lol.
first off.. the waitor.. was.. how do we say, uhm..
hot? [ ... gorgeous, adorable, sexy, yummy, delicious + i can go on and on and on. ]
so he kept like, staring at our table.. it kinda got creepy.. but.. oh you get used to it. lol.
poor rose, whenever he'd come by, she was doing something stupid. lol
second.. there was rose. hahah "happy birthday to you" ... "Shaniqua" oh man.. lol
throw the tape recorder away rose! throw it away!!! ahh
third.. the hot waitor.. again.
i mean c'mon.. i want him lol.
whenever he'd say.."if you girls need anything, just ask me.." i wanted to say.."can i have you, to go?"

[ gurlies, you made the night amazing. ::sigh:: good times, good times. haha ]
* lindsey is finally 15! lol*

>>Then on Sunday...
oh yea. sunday i went to the mall. with loreto ..and uhm.. "friends" {they know who they are.. and why they arent posted.. "evil.."} and uhm.. it was.. 'okay.'
i dono.. im not very good at making conversation and stuff, and 'he' was in a 'weird mood' and well..
it was pretty much boring. and then loreto kinda got mad.. [sorry! <3] but we are okay and stuffs.. but yea..
Dickie Roberts:Formal Child Star --> most boring movie in history.
not so much boring.. but stupid. ugh. 'the guys' seemed to enjoy it.. lol.

>>And so far the school week has been going by extra slow. but i've been really really hyper latley. lol. it's kinda funny.
and sooo much shit it happening. its all pretty much bullshit. but whatev. none of my buisness, so.. yea.
i just hope everything gets better. <3

>>Well. i have to go eat dinner, and then take a shower etc.
so i'll 'catch ya later.'

.x. nikki , nicole , nikki-gee. .o.

me. + [him] = >>


[22 Sep 2003|07:45pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | no fucking music. fuck off ]

im still trying to figure things out..
so.. when i figure out what life really means.. then i'll get back to you.

>>in a perfect world.......<<

[no use finishing it... there is no such thing.]


>>i'm gonna keep on loving you, cause its the only thing i wanna do. [20 Sep 2003|10:40am]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | I wanna Keep on loving you >> R.E.O. Speedwagon ]


>>yesterday as fucking BORING! omg i was sooo bored.
well.. after school was okay, me and loreto hung out for a while, and then her mom came and picked her up. and then after that the evening went DOWNHILL.
yeah so. lol

>>Today is homecoming.. so yeahh. i think im going to go, but im not sure if i am going to go to the football game. so, yeahh.... uhm after wards im hanging out with lindsey..and whoever is going too. lol i have no idea what 's going on hehe. but whatev. i'll find out.

>>After school yesterday was the pepralley. ahh it was sooo hot! lol, me and loreto were sitting on the floor. lol pepralley is overrated, if you ask me.


okay that is all. hehehe.
i'm off to get ready, and see whats going on lol.
ttyl xoxox

hit the cell later. it'll be on all day! <3



>>So i said 'Why dont you and i get together? take on the world be togeher forever?' [18 Sep 2003|07:48pm]
[ mood | drunk ]
[ music | I Dont Wanna Wait - Paula Cole ]

Not feeling so good .. short entry.

>>Hurricane ISABELLE is coming!! ::sighh:: i love storms! <3*
yeah so.

>>Today was .. uhm, good? yeah it was aiight. i so far have 100 on my global test.. "so far." lol. yeah. so the essay was realllyy easy. so yeah that's good.

>>I want to go to Homecoming, but.. i dont. i dont know.. argh! what do i dooo!?? lol. decisions, decisions. but! i do want to hang out with lindsey and all after, for her birfday! <3 yayy Lindsey. lol

>>I went to dance tonight, and got really, really dizzy while i was dancing. Like, so dizzy, that i fell down. yeah. there is something seriously wrong with me. so.. im starting to get a little worried about my "so called 'condition.'" .. but i dono.. so. yeah

>>Well, the season premier of Survivor is on tonight, and maybe i'll catch that, and fall asleep.
i cant stop the room from spinning.

::sigh:: make me okay again.

<< nikki xo >>


>>oh so tired of being sick .. so sick of being tired. [16 Sep 2003|06:35pm]
[ mood | listless ]
[ music | Bend And Not Break - Dashboard Confessional ]

So this is the second day i have stayed home from school. and well. i've re-couperated. well, not fully, but .. yeah.

>>Did nothing all day. worked on some catup work for school, and stuff. watched t.v. and went online.

>>So. what was wrong with me? Well. a few days ago, i had really bad ear pain, and i got really dizzy. naturally, i figured, "double ear infection." naturally.. lol. but.. as it turns out, i went to the Doc. yesterday, and well.. my ears are in perfect condition. nothing wrong at all. so. i took a few tests. including some wierd thing they did to my ears.. it made me feel like i was floatinggggg. lol yeah. so then finally someone took my blood pressure, and my heart ate and stuff. anddd.. my "dystolic" blood pressure [ w/e that is.. ] was low. and my doctor heard an "inocent" heart murmer on me. whatev. that means. so i went BACK to the doctor today, and well.. he told me that i shold see a cardiologist, because hes "worried" about my heart, and that i need to see a nuerologist, because my head hurts really bad when i get dizzy, which happens a few times a month. And also, i wake up in the middle of the night, sweating, and breathing really hard, with my heart racing. and i thought maybe i just scared myself in my sleep.. but then last night it happened and well, i found it really hard to catch my breath, almost as if i was suffocating.. but, my body finally figured out i wasnt, and it fixed itself.. but it still scared me.

>>So yeah, now that i bored EVERYONE about my medical problems. how was your day!? lol.
yeah im bored, so i think im going to fix my comment pictures on this layout, and whatev. and maybe i'll find a survey to fill out or some schnit. yeparoo
also. i have no comments. wheee. <3
i loe you all too. :-/

back later. or never.. whatever.!
xxoo nikki <3

oh yeah. guys are STUPID ! :)


>>i guess that all you got is all your 'gonna get. so much for, so much more. [14 Sep 2003|07:12pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | As Lovers Go - Dashboard Confessional ]

Current Clothes: pink short shorts, and an oldddd tee-shirt.
Annoyance: little sister.
Location: computer room
Taste: blue-berry jello with whip cream! <3
Smell: shampoo
Worry: ....
Time: 7:13 p.m.
Thing I should be doing: studying for vocab quiz. :o)
Make up: zero.
Amusement: this friggan computer
Desire: >> h i m <<
Last Kiss: uhmm.. i long long long time ago. but my mommy kissed me good morning
First Kiss: iw as 12
Virgin: yeah

1st thing that comes to mind:
Red: rose
Rain: cloud
Michael Jackson: wacko-jacko
Sunshine: <3 summer <3
Beach: icky sand
Hurt: heart
Future: scarry
College: Cal.i.forni.a
Spouse: uhm.. sure.
Profession: doctor :-/
Kids: running around like psycho's

Do you believe in?
Love: yeah i guess.
At first Sight: i dont know..
Fate: hm, depends.
Higher Power: yeah i guess.
Music's Power over the soul: def! music def. controls my life.
One Person's Ability to change the World: no.
Santa Claus: used to
The Easter Bunny: :o( mr. bunny come back.
Tooth Fairy: hahahahahahahhahahahahaha ..oh sorry. no.
Aliens: yeahhhhh
Magic: yup

Lucky Number: 12
Sign: Cancer
Best Friends: Loreto and Rose <3
Your Idol: uhm.. dont have one? but i guess id say my mom.
Your Theme Song: uhm ... Dumb Girls
Been Skinny Dipping: no.

Kissed your cousin: what the fuck..? no.
Ran away: when i was little. and then couldnt cross the street.
Broken someone's heart: maybe? i know i've gotten my heart broken
Broken a bone: nope
Drank alcohol: yeah
Lied: mm'hmm
Cried in school: yes

What do you notice first? looks. and personality
Last person you slow-danced with: i dont even remember.. but i think it was Tom. that was a LONGGGG time ago.
Worst question to ask: ........ how far would you go with me?

Showered: like 25 minutes ago
Had sex: never. oh well

Sit by the phone all night?: yeah i have. noone ever calls though
Save AIM conversations?: yeah a lot.
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: mm'hmm.
Cry because of someone's mean words? of course

Color your hair? no.. i want highlights.
Have tattoos? nope. not yet. i want one.
Own a webcam? no
Own a thong? ..actually, i dont think so.
Ever get off the damn computer? yes.
Sprechen sie deutsche?: no.. i dont speak german.
Habla espanol? no

Stolen anything? yeahh lol
Obsessive? i can be
Compulsive? dont think so
Obsessive compulsive? dont think so
Panic? sometimes
Anxiety? yeahh
Depressed? sometimes
Suicidal? no.
Obsessed with hate? i dont know.
Can you do anything freakish with your body? YES! i can twist my arms all the way around. and i can lick my elbow!
What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others? eyes and teeth
You had braces? mmhmm
Do you pluck your eyebrows?: yeah. and wax them
When was the last time you had a hickey?: i dont know..
Could you live without a computer?: i guess.. but it would get really boring
Do you use ICQ, AOL, MSN Buddy list etc...?: mmhmm
If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 129
Do you wear white socks?: yeah
Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: i mostly take them off.
What is your favorite fruit?: grapes
Do you eat wheat bread or white?: white
What is the last movie you saw?: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Are you wearing fingernail polish: no. i dint have nails.
Did you like or do you like high school?: i usually like school, and this year isnt that bad because i have lunch with all my friends.
What is the best accent?: german and italian
Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: california sunsets <3*
Is a flat stomach important to you?: yes. and i think i can really get paranoid and obsessed over it. i need help.
Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: yeahh!
When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: i dont really care.
Do you like your nose?: it isnt that bad. i dont think
Do you think you can draw well?: are you kidding! i hate drawing!
Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?: yeah.. <3
Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: i dont like either
Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?: mmm expensive $$$
Do you have a middle name? yeah. unique. Candice
Are you basically a happy person?: usually
Are you tired? yeah
Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: mmhmm.. coke.
How many phones do you have in your house?: uhm...five, plus three cell phones = 8
How long is your hair?: .. like. medium
Do you get along with your parents?: yah
What color of eyes do you prefer? green :)
Do you like your name? yeah!

^^ stole this from Loreto. <3 lol thanks sweetie.
i was boerd all day. so this is my post.

<3 nikki


>>and you stood at my door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. [12 Sep 2003|09:24pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | globes and maps - something corporate ]

i wanted to come home all day. yeah.... it was one of those days.

>>Well basically... yeah it sucked. hah. it wasnt THAT bad, i was just in one of my moods? lol
there isnt much to say tonight. stuff has happened. and i dont feel like sharing, too bad for you, isnt it?

>>So yeah. uhm.. i got to thinking. and i, i dono... thought of some old stuff bothering me.
Tom has a enw journal. hahahahahahahaha i commented on it :o) lol. i was like.."so there!" hah...
i dont get over things very well. can you tell? lol.

>>I'm reading a new book, for english. [ independent reading. ] It's called Jay's Journal. and its really scary and sad so far. i statted it at the end of fifth period english today. wanna know the sad part? ...i'm almost done with it! ah im like.. what the hell? i cant put it down, why should i? .. it's all .. "deep" and stuff. one of the books that i wont forget easily.

>>So. in other news.
Oh yes. i feel the need to say this, although i've been hearing and reading about it all day. but, John Ritter is dead. and do you know what? i didnt know the guy.. but i heard the story, [ my mom told me what happened while we were out to dinner at Boulder Creek, not so long ago...] And the story made me really, really sad. i dono.. it bothered me. like.. something happened with the main valve that sends all the blood to his heart. and it literally was tearing apart inside of him. Something about this story got me really upset. and i got all.. 'weary' i dono. is that that word? who cares. but yeah.. so i was like.. where did it happen? and my mom said that he passed out or something at the studio, where he was filming episodes of "8 rules for dating my teenage daughter" and all i could think of, was this poor man, not knowing what was giong on with his own body. and then i got to thinking about his fellow cast members.. and well.. could you imagine watching the man that you have worked with and grown to love, and almost treat each other as family, get whisked away to the hospital.. and dying?
his story made me angry also. it isnt fair. he was healthy. a wife, kids... only 54 years old. Why him? why would God take him? .. i dont understand it. and yeah.. im questioning nature, or whatever.. but. why?
im getting myself worked up.. so i am going to stop now.
i dont know why i wrote all that, but.. i want answers to questions that have no answers.. what now?
sorry i bored you. but it helped me get out what i was feeling...

John Ritter <3 RIP <3 September 11, 2003.
not to mention... what a day to die.
why would it be planned that way? the day soo many other people lost their lives, we had to add one more?

"Come and Knock on My door. We've been Waiting for You......"
never to be the same again.



yippie-skippie [10 Sep 2003|06:48pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Ghost Of a Good Thing - Dashboard Confessional ]

hey all .. just wondering. take a minute, and scroll down to the end of this entry. see the bouncing pink stars!? you do??!! well .. see what they are pointing out? COMMENTS all. oh man, are you guys stupid!? i mean, i put the stars there to draw attention. . . and what happens? i'm ignored.
i have no comments. :o(

moving right along:
>> todayy was... 'eh?' lol. i had a pretty good day. HAD TO TAKE MY PIC-a-TURE! and the freaking photogropher touched my hair. he touched my hair. can you beleive the nerve of him? i freaked lol. it was kinda funny. lol i was like.."back [ pause ] off." and i was totally serious lol. yeah.. so. lol
and then in Bio. my teacher was trying to feel me up.. [ blechh .. shes a woman. lol ] yeah. so. uhmm... at lunch me, rose, loreto, and lindsey were al throwing things down each others shirts. hahaha then penny! lol. [ "WHAT A LUCKY PENNY, huh loreto?" lol yeah.. lmao. i <3 you girls lol.
anddd that was pretty much the highlights of today.
my math teacher wasnt here today, and Mr. Arzt [cool teacher] was our sub. so i walked out and went to the cafe. with sam. yeppp.. there i saw Mr. L. and we talked a bit about last year. haha i miss being a freshman. :o( oh well.
andd then i walked home with loreto. and my mom cancelled my docotrs apintment on me, so i was like.. i gotta get home, loreto, because i need to get a shot. and i was all hyped about it. grr.

>>I dreamt last night that me and loreto were walking home, and she got all pissed at me for some reason, i dono why.. and she was like, "i dont want to walk with you anymore. colleen will give me a ride." and i just stood ther eon the street corner all 'moron-like' and i just had my mouth like wie open.. like "duhhhhhhh" and she called me a bitch and walked away.
i dont know what it means. i guess i was just thinking about loreto or something lol. kinda funny if you think about it, because loreto would def. not do something like that. [ atleast im PRETTY sure she wouldnt. ]

>>On the way walking home today i spotted Darko. hah yeh......... he met my friends. lol oh man. colleen was like." i dont think he likes us." and i was like.."i dont think he likes me much either anymore.."lol. they wanted me to hug him. . . uh, yeah.. well i wont say anything. lol. but..
he probably is scared of me. :o/

>>Tomorrow is September 11. there. i said it. it makes me sad, still. because of all that happened. but, i'm not going to sit here and write how retarded they are over there in afghanastan or anything like that.. because that wouldnt be nice. actually, i dont know what my opinion on 9-11 really is.. only that im still in disbelief that it ever even happend. i guess i'm just like, in denial or something.. i think that's what a therapist would say. hrm. so yeah... it makes me sad. and tomorrow, to make things better, we're having this guest speaker in global. shes talking about 9-11 because she was in the world trade center when the planes hit. and i thanked god today in global when my teacher told us her story, i thanked god that i wasnt there, that i didnt lose anybody, and that this woman, whover she may be, survived. and although it must be hard for her, she's here to tell the story. and thats a blessing.

well. i've totally depressed myself. so i need to go eat dinner hah.
mm'mm .. cheeseburgers and potatoes o'brian! lol <3
yes so. goodbye.

stopnottalking.dontbesosilent >>dedicated<<

later gators
.x. nikki .o.


i <3 you [08 Sep 2003|06:23pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | Grave Digger - Dave Matthews ]

Heyyyy!!! <3 lol wow im like, hyper and dead tired at the same time. i feel like i'm FlOaTiNg! lol.
so i have this new friggan retainer in my mouth, and it's clear, but i dono.. its fucking ridiculous. i had braces for three years, my teeth arent supposed to move, and yet....
they did.
and im stuck with this retainer.

>>So! Yesterday i did nothing. in proper english... "i didnt do anything." and today school was really, really boring. but the day goes by SO fast! .. and it's been really hot and ugh.. i cant wait until it's twenty degrees outside. ......... i walked home with loreto today. we stopped at colleen's house. haha i met her two dogs, in hopes that they wouldnt like, attack me. and yeah we stole food from her and stuff hhehe :o)
what a boring day. lol

>>Eek! the block party on friday! i had such a better time than i expected. first off, the guy that "hates me" and i didnt talk, and i mean like AT ALL .. so that was a plus. They had one of those 'jumpy castles' hahaha and i felt like i was two years old again! and ..
i met a German exchange student named Robert. yepp aroo! this guy was sooo sweet lol. i wasnt like..'attracted to him' or whatever, but oh man..! what great conversation did we have. and i mean GRRREAT. he taught me some stuff about germany, and i helped him a little bit to understand americans. haha. he called me crazy, and said that all americans are crazy.. so. lol.
and now he's gonee. :o( but he still talks to me, we exchanged cell numbers and i gave him my address. see, he is in this program, where he travels! all the time.. he's going to THIRTY ONE different states! and i was like, wowed. hah.. i would love to do that.
and he's going to california. . . <3 lol.
well. i miss him, but he said he'd call me.
and i hope he will lol.
hope he has fun. while i'm stuck in here........

>>i tied darko's shoe laces together today.. during theater.
he took the knots out.
i didnt do it right, i guess... :o( lol haha

wweell thats all folks.
later gators.

x. -nikki- .o


fridayy [06 Sep 2003|09:41am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | TV - Mrs. Doubtfire ]

heylo heylo! <3
so.. here i am. early saturday morning. . . it is SO beautiful outside. i just wanna jump into some clothes and run through the grass hehe :o)

>>So yesterday ha to be the worst day in school so far. and a new record..the third day.
well it was mostly locker problems, which still havent been solved yet.. so im still wondering what the hell the school is thinking. their just STUPID. the people there are just ridiculous. i hate them.
yeah well. ha. the entire day i pretty much just wanted to come home. :o(
i liked theater though. the games we played were pretty cool. lol

>> I walked home with loreto and camillo yesterday after school lol. it was fun....
then we came back to my house and we watched the VMA's and me and loreto were making fun of the music Camillo listens to.. i felt bad after words though lol. andd around i think like 5:00 my mom drove all of us back to the High School to drop camillo off, and she took me and loreto and my sister to Bed Bath and Beyond. ha it was okay.. loreto bought her gummy bears lol and we got some stuff for my kitchen. yepp.

>>So today im going into Jersey for this block party.. and i dono.. im not so sure i want to go.
see .. im going to this families house that has a son about my age. and we used to like each other when we were little. we were like, okay friends, but still...
he hates me now.
and i dono why, oh well. . .i'll bring some homework with me and do some of it there. to pass the time.
because there wont be anything else to do.

yeah well. thats all.
i'm going to take a shower and get ready now... :o(


friends [04 Sep 2003|07:46pm]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | Buried Myself Alive - The Used. [ yay katie! <3 ] ]

ugh. back to school.
yippe skippie! >>sarcasim.<<

>>Well. school started yesterday. and the day went by exceptionally FAST! lol yeah so my teachers are a-ok.
uhm, bio. lab and bio >>ms. kaplan .. uhm, shes aiight.. kinda.."spacy?"<< uhmm..italian...>>omg i dont remember anything, and my teacher ms. iovine, is like a posessed italian! its her life! lol<< global history, i hate the class..>>my teacher is amazing though lol so funny! laughed so hard.. haha but yeah.. he's strict. really strict.<< uhmm..english.. im gonna die! its such a hard class and its only the 2nd day i dont belong there..>>oh and my male teacher is taking maternity leave.. bastard.<< then i have lunch with Loreto, Lindsey, Rose, Colleen, Alyssa, Sherin, Veronica, and uhm.. Trisha[opposite days lol] and some other peoples. <3
so what comes next...? oh.. theater, which isnt a bad class. i have it with Ashley and its a huge class, with some really nice people in it [>my teachers a little.."high?" but whatever..<< then comes Crim. Law. COOL CLASS! very awesome.. it'll be one of those classes where i can argue about stuff.. and i am very good at that! lol >>same teacher as global, btw.<< and then its off to Math, and i'm done for the day.
math needs no explanation.

>>so yey! me and katie are all "goody goody" now!! whee haa! lol
i guess we both came to our senses, and realized that we were fighing over pretty much nothing.. when i thought about it, it wasnt worth losing a life-long friend/sister over. so yeah.
hopefully that stanza enlightened you. lol

On To My Thought For Today
>>My definition of "friend" cannot be looked up in the dictionary. this is because, it wouldnt all fit! a friend is one of those people who stand out in your life. the ones who are worth remembering, and you get the impulse to call and talk about nothingness into wee hours of the morning on friday night. A friend, is always there for you. Will make you laugh. [especially when you are upset] Because, when you ARE upset, and in 'full blown bawling' mode.. your friend will be there, to tell you that everuthing will be allright. and even if at that moment, it wont be allright, they'll amke sure to promise it'll get better in te future. Hell, your friends can even be the ones to make you cry. When they say something exceptionally sweet, or something that makes you feel better, or just plain awesome. And, why not? if you really do look like crap one day.. your friend will be there to tell you that you do, and seriously, you dont even care, because you know that they still love you nomatter how messy your hair is. haha. There there to shut you up, when your about to say something ridiculous, stupid. And they'll comfort you, when things are bad at home, or at school. A friend is that someone, that you always pick out from the rest, and say.. "thats who's keeping me alive when things are going really bad and thats who is keeping me sane, when things get crazy. and thats who's making me laugh, when something hilarious happens. thats my best friend in the whole world."
and thats what my friends mean to me.
[ you <3 know <3 who <3 you <3 are ]
in my opinion, no matter what anyone says, your friends should be based on feelings. not on how they do in school, or what their family is like. friendships are based on having that person to fall back on. and thats all that matters.
to me, atleast.

>>::sigh:: i'm done.
thank you for listening. to all that jibber jabber. lol

.x. nikki .x.


>>here in this diary, i write you visions of my summer. it was the best i ever had... [02 Sep 2003|07:00pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | Boys Of Summer - The Ataris ]

arghh.. ughhh.. grrrr....
in less than twelve hours i will be waking up bright and early. not to go on a summer vacation, but to head back to school. man... the summer went by wayyyy too fast. like.. faster than usual.
some summer 'goodies' and 'baddies'

--- :o) ---
.x. goodies .x.
o1. made $370.00 working at camo
o2. got a nice tan
o3. i had my birthday
o4. katie's birthday
o5. katie's block party
o6. summer 'crushes' :o)
o7. had a blast with Loreto, Rose, and Lindsey.
o8. angel <3 o8.22
o9. SpLiSh SpLaSh with my girls
1o. made some new friends, and enjoyed myself.

--- :o( ---
.x. 'Baddies' .x.
o1. had to go to coleman country every weekday.
o2. didnt go to the beach
o3. it rained. a lot.
o4. uncle tommy and aunt deana came... but left.
o5. didnt have a 'summer love'

hm. that was all i could think of....as you can plainly see, the good stuff beats the bad stuff. so i guess thats pretty cool.
i had a great summer, and i am looking forward to school, but after the first day it's all 'blah' after that....
we'll se what happens!

>>oh yeah. so i'm kinda in my 'angry at the world and everyone in it' mood. which sucks because i hate when i get like this. i'm not going into details, but i will say that i have learned not to care about everyone's problems, and that i need to pay attention to myself, and also.. you cant always trust those who you thought meant the world to you.. because you never know when someone is going to jump out and stab you in the back.
the day people make decisions for me, is the day pigs will fly. i run my own life. and i dont care what anyone else thinks.
okay. i'm through.

>>i'll update about school after it happens..... :o)
later all.

.x. nikki .o.


construction [02 Sep 2003|11:49am]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | t.v. ]

my journal is in dire need of a makeover..
so thats why thre is no backround picture. i am currently working on it, so ba patient.
.x. UnDeR cOnStRuCtIoN! .x.

>>will be back soon


heylo [02 Sep 2003|07:53am]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Here In This Diary - The Ataris ]

it's really early in the morning, and it's raining, so i cannot spend my last day of summer vacation outside. so i will probably not do anything productive except get my stuff ready for school tomorrow and help my mom with the kids she is baby sitting today...
i really do have a lot i want to say for a future entry this afternoon, because basically, i'm fed up. so .. expect that entry a little later...
i just need to figure out what i want to say.. so.. yeah.

well.. i got a blinkie made for me! aww it's adorable.. i wanna thank the person that did this.. "thank you!" and it was from the community "blinkiewhore" <-- haa.
yey, so i'm gonna go..

here's my new blinkie!

later all.


>>father, father help us..send us guidence from above... [01 Sep 2003|04:30pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Where Is The Love - Black Eyed Peas ]

heylooo!! <3

>>what is up all!? lol. i'm sitting here at my aunts computer in Merrick... lacking a cell phone. :o(
[relaxx it's only charging!!!! <3]

>>okie dokes! so lets recap! shall we??

>>Last night! OMG! lol what a night what a night!
I spent most of the day sitting at the computer talking to people, and fixing this crap blurty, and then katie came over! from the verrry start i knew we were in for some night! lol. [she's my partner in crime!] so we hung out for a while.. we all checked out the water fall, and then we "didnt" go to 7eleven! lol. hahahahaha so we were walking and such and we walked into the place to get ourselves a slurpee! <3 lol so we get inside and i tried out the "enjoyable" sour cherry minute maid slurpee. can you say "vomitrocious" .. say it with me now... "vom-it-tro-cious". good. pretty soon you'll be talking like me! lol
okay so yey. katie wanted to use the blue rasberry, because if your going to get a slurpee.. get a GOOD one!? right!?? yes. well.. the man behind the counter starts screaming.. "IF IT"S BLINKING THEN YOU CANT USE IT." .. lmao! so on the walk home katie's all .."oh yes because i operate the slurpee machines on a dialy basis! ... i thought green meant go!.." lol too funny.
yeah so we got back to my house and we played BALDERDASH. too many laughs to get into.. BUT! lol..
>>initials --> A SMELLY PLANT?!
>>dirty laundry --> ANNIE!
lmao what a game, what a game.
so we went to fork lane, only to be verbally harassed by six year olds lmao.
aandd.. katie beat my ass in BOCCE whoot whoot! lol <3
andd. we kicked her ass in FAMILY FEUD. >>although that game sucked<< lol and....
yea the night was over.

it was hilarious! lol

>>so now im at my aunts house. i think loreto is coming home today! yey!! lol i need to talk to her, i missed her! <3 lol
and i better go because i am getting the evil eye from my mother, in other words, the "what are you doing on someone else's computer while you should be making conversations!?"
so i'll be back later..!



>>my stomach's filled with the butterflies [31 Aug 2003|11:35am]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | All You Wanted - Michelle Branch ]

heylo. all! everything is okie dokie so far today.
first off, i need to thank "vanilladust" for fixing my comments for me! ahh lol thank you so much!
and i want to thank "babypieach" for making me this blinkie:

yay! lol.

okay so..

>> The Sandhill picnic! .. it was off to a great start. people starting coming.. and we were all waiting around for everyone to come lol. it was fun. so we played kickball. and wow! i suck! haha.. yeah i think the ball came to me a buncha times, and john was always yelling.."cath it!" .. and i would get it, then drop it. screw the ball! lol. so uhm.. i finally caught it though, once.. lol.
we played SPUD! haha .. it was kinda hard because we were all runing sooo far away fromt eh person that was it! lol so we stopped and played RED ROVER instead.
....... oh man!!!!! lol. there were a few injuries during that game! lol.
Carolyn broke her ass! :( awh poor carrie! lol.
My sister almost broke her pinkie, katie fixed it lol.
-- a little while later --
we played a sad excuse of truth or dare lol. Bobby wouldnt hump the elephant! hahaha it woulda been funny too.
and chrissie didnt want to be 'too mean' but she asked who i had a crush on.. "uhm .. yeahh" oh well...
-- a little after that --
my cell rang.. i wont go into what happened after that.
:o( [ sorry katie .. and sorry 'everyone' else.. i fucked up, big time... ]
-- after THAT --
Jill was running to yell at vince, and she FELL! oh man she cut her leg open and it was bleeding! oh no!! lol i brought some water to clean it off, and i was trying to keep katie away from teh bloodiness in the even that she would freak! lol. yeah and then a little while away katie came over to make sure jill was okay and stuff and vince ran.. yep. thats the last we saw of him.
things seemed to die down after that.
i talked to jill about some stuff lol we just walked up and down and up and down! lol awh jill <3 lol
we went back to christine's house after the picnic. and we watched grease. i was trying to tell weather or not katie was still pissed, she had every right to be.. but .. yeah i hate it when she's mad at me.
and then after talking for a while, katie's mom came and picked me and my sister up and we went back to her house to wait for my mom. and of course, my mom came at 10, and didnt leave until 10:45 because or parents talk and talk and talk ... lol.

>>Yesterday was boring. i babysat at freaking 9"30 in the morning... crap! lol and the 3 year old tried to kill his 4 month old baby brother by slamming a door on his head.. oh my gosh.. damn, what a day..
so i came home, jumped in the shower and then took a LONG nap. lol. at around 4:15 katie came [ lol yes katie! ] and we went to her uncle's house. [ i dont know where it is lol ] and so we hanged out there for a while. her cousin is the most adorable little boy in the world! it's crazy! he's so cute! lol. and then we had some escapades with the little angelo boy lol. and we went on the trampoline! ahh so much fun! lol hahahaha.. [ katie>> running around and around in circles! lol lmao we got so wet and dirty.] we left around 7:30 and i came home and went to bed lol.

>> so i'm hanging out with the kenendy's yet again today! lol. we're having this bbq thing at my house.
yepp. so that should be fun.. if we can find some things to do! lol. we'll think of something.

Loreto comes home tomorrow! <3 yay! lol.
i cant wait to see her! lol

[ the summer is almost over... :o( i cant believe it went by soo fast! school in three days! AHH! ]

well i need to go get ready for the BBq.
so i'll see ya all later.
>>comment on this long ass entry! lol<<



linking a girl to get a blinkie [29 Aug 2003|01:59pm]
yeah.. so i wanted a blinkie and i need to link this girl in order to get one.. so here

there you go. lol
<3 ttyl xo

sanhill pic-a-nic! [29 Aug 2003|10:15am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | How Does It Feel - Sugar Cult ]

Hello all.. wow it's been quite some time since a "real" entry!

>>uhm on Tuesday, i hung out with loreto. we walked to the pizza place, and we talked. she had a lot a stuff to tell me, and she didnt think i would "understand" but .. we're best friends, i mean.. how couldn't i? >>loreto.. i'm ALWAYS and i mean always, here for you.
and then that night, my dad took off of work, and i didnt have to work, so my family and i went to adventureland. yepp.. night out with the family. haha it was okay though.. not too bad.
{angel wasnt there.. i looked ALL over =( }

>>and then on wednesday i had to babysit early in the morning until about 2 o'clock. my gosh kids are a real big handful... yeah. and then my grandparents came over, we did nothing.. i stayed online for the night. lol. and after that we went shopping, and i got a few things for school, but not much.

>>and thenn yesterday, uhmm.. i didnt do much of anything. just vegged out in my room in front of the t.v. yepp. but i went shopping last night, and got school clothes and two pairs of shoes. black and pink puma's. they were cheap, so i figure if i waned to get my converses' i'll get them at christmas. not a big deal. oh yeah.. loreto left lastnight. she came around to my house for a little while, and we watched moves hahaha. aw man i'm going to miss her!!!

>>today is the picnic at sandhill. yay!! katie!!! hahaha. so yey. uhm...
it'll be a blast, i cant beleive it's the last weekend of the summer =( so sad.
went by too fast, in my opinion.

soo! i think i am going to go and get ready for the picnic. i have some stuff to do before i leave.
>>katie! i'll see you at your house around three o'clock.<< <3

yey! haha fun fun fun.



how long does it take for 'hope to fade.' [27 Aug 2003|09:47pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | All By Myself - Celine Dion ]

i'm in one of those moods.
short entry.

yeah. i cant typ and cry at the same time, so i'm 'gonna go..
[there is no hope. stop pretending.]

>>i'm sorry things are so rough .. i hit you at a bad time, huh?<<
*basically.. im an ass. stupid little girls and their crushes.*


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