Touching you, like jade. [entries|friends|calendar]
sunshine sex

[ website | the motherland ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

you rip me up inside [16 Jun 2003|08:38pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | The Used. ]

Sorry I've been gone.
Moving soon, anyways.
I'll post the username soon.
Bye.

nothing hurts [2] like nothing at all

You're never going to find, if you're looking for it. [05 Apr 2003|11:16pm]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | Evanescance - Eternal // Trapt - Headstrong. ]

Tonight has sucked, but I found out I was anything BUT the only person who wanted but didn't go to that concert. [Horribly] that made me feel MUCH better, lol. Did nothing all night. BUTTTTTT I finally did get a liveJournal (THANK YOU, disturbedgurl88 [kayleigh] !!) The user name is: x_rxqueen_x Add me over there!! :) Pleeeaasseeee!!! Yeeeaaahhh, soo, anyways... boring day, boring night... LEAVING NOW... <33 Peaccccccccccccccccccccccccccce, + Aloha (lmaaaoo, kymm "hola").

nothing hurts [12] like nothing at all

Something I've wanted all along... Somewhere I Belong [05 Apr 2003|06:34pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | the USED || Box of Sharp Objects ]

Just thought I would post that. (Previous post.) As a reminder. To myself, and some friends of mine.

Today has been pretty boring. Slept late and talked to Joey when I woke up for 30 minutes. -He was on the way to the concert that I wanted to- and could've- gone to. Yeah. Sucks. Whatever though.
I'm home alone. Again. Yay.
Just been down-loading music and writing and researching all day. On and off of AIM. Yippee.
I've thought a lot lately... about everything. I feel so depressed lately; makes me think that maybe some people are right about me and my medication. I just hate it. I have 100 mg pills, which is much better than before... but I don't take them. I really don't feel like I need them. But then again I must.
I hate depression. I hate crying. I hate manic-depression. I hate anger. I just hate being constantly frusterated about everything; about life- when there is no need.
Both of my parents have mental "problems" or whatever. Dad, manic depression / bi-polar disorder. Mother, substance abuse and clinical depression that comes and goes. Neither of them take pills for it, but it so happens they've created a sinthetic child made to live off of zoloft, prozac, lithium, and other "behavior modification
pills. She has eating disorders, depression / manic depression problems, self-mutilation condency, and off and on suicidal idiations. Watch me become a coke addict and alcohalic as well. I wouldn't be suprised. I mean not only is it likely, but expected. Look at me already. I'm screwing up just like my mother did.
I've only got onething on my side and that's the will to be better... yet that comes and goes as it pleases.

Sorry for complaining, but you don't gots to pity, comment, sympathsize. HELL, DON'T EVEN READ IT. Lol.

Peace-Cryss.<3


< edit > - The concert I wanted to go to was The Used, and I found out that I could go two hours before they left, but they had no room in the car and I didn't know is the company would appreciate my company... >_x < /edit >

nothing hurts [3] like nothing at all

By the way your hands were shaking, I'd rather wait some time with you. [05 Apr 2003|06:31pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Evanescance || Whisper ]

I am living every parent's nightmare -- my son Keith is dead. Dr. Greene, I am fighting a battle. It's a battle to teach as many people as I can about what is known as "huffing" -- inhaling of aerosol products, of any kind, from a plastic bag. It's really frightening because aerosol is so accessible to kids. In Kinnelon it is the #1 "drug" problem that we are facing. Yet not one adult who I have encountered has any idea about huffing. I don't want any family to suffer the agony of losing a child. Help me save even one life!
Margaret Wagner
Kinnelon








Teens don't remember what it was like when they were babies, but their parents remember. We remember rocking them to sleep and the intimacy of feeding. We remember later when we helped them learn to go on the potty and to tie their shoes. We remember the first day of kindergarten, and sleepovers, and helping them with their homework. We remember sitting worried by their bedsides when they were sick. We remember vacations and Halloween costumes and birthday parties. How jarringly tragic when a child dies suddenly, needlessly--when there are no more birthdays to celebrate.

"Huffing," or inhaling volatile substances, is becoming increasingly popular among children, especially among 12- to 14-year-olds (Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, 1998;152(8):781--786).
Huffing can kill the very first time children experiment with it.
Alarmingly, about 20% of eighth-graders report having done it (International Journal of Addiction, 1993;28:1613--1621). Margaret, you are not alone; every day, children die from huffing.

A bunch of guys get together to hang out. One of the older ones (not yours) describes a cheap, cool, legal way to get high. It's a rush--and there's nothing wrong with it. All it takes is stuff around the home. An impromptu scavenger hunt produces some room deodorizer or some typewriter correction fluid and some empty soda cans, balloons, or plastic bags. Just spray the stuff in the can or bag and inhale. The kids feel mature. They feel the thrill of doing something a little out of bounds. They feel the rush from the chemicals.

At first these chemicals act as stimulants. The kids feel uninhibited, powerful, and are prone to impulsive behavior. If they keep inhaling, they start to feel drunk. Speech becomes slurred, and the gait becomes staggered. Often they begin to hallucinate. Drowsiness and sleep follow the euphoria. But nightfall, the high is interrupted when one of them drops dead suddenly.

Huffing can stop a strong, young heart without warning--a heart that should have kept on beating during graduation, while getting married, and in synch with that of a newborn baby.

Besides sudden cardiac arrest (the most common cause of death from inhalants), huffing can kill quickly in a number of other ways. Motor vehicle accidents such as you have described, falls, and other traumatic injuries are common and horrible. Others die from suffocation, burns, suicide (from the depression that can follow the high), and from choking--on their own vomit. About 22% of those who die from huffing do so the first time they try it (Human Toxicology, 1989;8:261--269).

When huffing doesn't kill quickly, it damages the body each time--especially the brain. Huffing can cause memory loss, impaired concentration, hearing loss, loss of coordination, and permanent brain damage. Chronic use can cause permanent heart, lung, liver, and kidney damage as well. Solvents (found in glues, paints, and polishes), fuels (such as butane), nitrites (found in deodorizers), and almost any kind of aerosol spray can be responsible.

How can you tell if your child might be huffing?

Most huffing takes place with friends (although kids who sniff correction fluid in class when their teachers turn away are not uncommon). Be observant of your child and his or her friends. Inhalants gradually leave the body for 2 weeks following huffing--mostly through exhaling. The characteristic odor is the biggest clue. Be on the lookout for breath or clothing that smells like chemicals. Look for clothing stains. Watch for spots or sores around the mouth. Nausea, lack of appetite, weight loss, nervousness, restlessness, and outbursts of anger can all be signs of inhalant abuse. A drunk, dazed, or glassy-eyed appearance might mean your child is abusing inhalants right now. If you suspect or discover that you child is huffing, get professional help. Treating inhalant abuse is very difficult and requires expert intervention. Withdrawal symptoms may last for weeks. The relapse rate without a long-term (2-year) program is very high.

What can you do to prevent your child from huffing?

Preventing huffing is far better than trying to treat an inhalant addiction. Talking with your child about it is more powerful than anything else (NIDA Research Monograph, 1988;85:8--29). Start talking with your child about it now. Although huffing peaks between the ages of 12 and 15 years, it often starts "innocently" in children only 6 to 8 years old (Pediatrics, 1996;97:3). Literally thousands of easily available substances can be inhaled, so you can't keep your child away from them. You can, however, educate and inspire. Begin talking with your child about inhalants by the time he or she is in kindergarten. This is also an important age to set an example in your own use of intoxicating substances. Talk and role-play often about the important skill of being able to resist peer pressure.

Most parents and children are unaware of the extreme dangers of sniffing or huffing inhalants. I hope, Margaret, that word of your profound tragedy saves the futures of many parents' children.

nothing hurts [2] like nothing at all

[04 Apr 2003|03:46pm]
[ mood | dorky ]
[ music | KoRn || Freak on a Leash (Techno Version) ]

Today was okay,, did nothing. On the way home stopped @ Dave & Busters [ the arcade or w//e ].. It was fun, but I seriously hattttttee my cramps. They suck. I had a nice time @ my daddy's. Better then I thought I would anyway. Boring at some points, but that's only natural. I have to baby-sit a child on steroids tonight. She has water in her lungs. Verrrrrrryy scarrrrryy.






update later.

nothing hurts [4] like nothing at all

think of pretty things. [01 Apr 2003|05:00pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Deftones || Knifeparty ]

Well, I may be getting a live-journal. W/e.

Yeah, this journal is no longer friends-only, though there will be a lot of entries that are. I'm going to start posting more often now, and try to comment in your journals. Sorry for the neglect ::hectic life::, but yeah, fixing it.
I recently found out that my Grandmother and Father most are apposed to me living with my mother. (For good reasoning.) Honestly I don't think I'll be moving anytime soon.
I bought two books today; Prozac Nations (started reading it.) & Don't Sleep With Your Drummer (hah, imagine that.) - Hooray for me.
I'm still @ my dad's, and Angel's been playing my little sister's GameBoy. Pokemon shit. Wtf. Lol. W/e, I'm out... going to go do something HMM..PRODUCTIVE? Hehe.

nothing hurts [17] like nothing at all

[01 Apr 2003|04:24pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | John Mayer || Your Body is a Wonderland ]

-- 10 bands you would like to see live.

1. Deftones
2. Deftones
3. Deftones
4. Incubus
5. Taproot
6. Deftones
7. Deftones
8. The Used
9. Incubus
10. Sorry guys, DEFTONES
__I really want to see the Deftones, people talk about they're awesome-ness.__

-- 9 things you're looking forward to

1. Being with my boyfriend
2. School Ending
3. Getting a tatoo
4. Hugging my beautiful boyfriend
5. Traveling in planes
6. Blades through my skin
7. Moving out. With the boyfriend. :)
8. friends being happy.
9. Moving out.

-- 8 things you where

1. g-string, thong (cough-CAN'T BE KATHENA-cough)
2. boxers
3. jeans
4. pants
5. skirts
6. my purdy necklaces and bracelets
7. t-shirts
8. WIFE BEATERZZ :)


-- 7 Things That Annoy You

1. broken promises,, :(
2. Avril Lavigne!
3. Unpermited Ass Grabs
4. Bitches who hate because it's "fun"
5. Good Charlotte
6. poseurs
7. Hmm... the KRYSTLE girl for instance. And a few Un-named .. losers.

-- 6 things you use daily

1. toothbrush
2. face-wash
3. black eye-liner
4. hair brush
5. deftones CD's
6. caffeine

-- 5 things you do every day

1. breathe
2. eat
3. consume caffeine
4. think of my Joseph ^.^
5. scream

-- 4 People you'd like to spend more time with

1. Boyfriend
2. Kayleigh
3. Kymberly
4. Jenny. MUST CHILL WOMAN!! :)

-- 3 movies you'd watch twice

1. PulpFiction :)
2. Super Troopers
3. Death to Smoochy :)
___________they all remind me of the most beautiful person alive :) _ and he's mine

-- 2 albums you could listen 2 forever

1. Deftones - White Pony
2. Taproot - Gift

-- 1 person you could spend your entire life with

1. Gee, I wonder.

like nothing at all

I just keep waiting for you. [29 Mar 2003|03:10pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | My Own Summer || deftones ]

I should be writing a lot right about now. Should be telling you how busy I've been that I wasn't able to update this journal. Well.... Plain and Simple, I'm not. I wasn't too busy, and my life is dull. So, yeah. Went through hell over an icon. Which I might add was one MIGHTY-FINE icon. =] and got a few enemies. :( but also gained a friend (go figure: the icon maker herself), machine. Kamee is reallyy cool. ^__^ Yeah. Tonight is going to be another boring night, like yesturday, tomorrow, and the week I'll be spending at my Fathers. At least Angelika is coming. :) Yeah, that's a good thing. Got plans for the movies tonight, seeing Head of the State. Better be good. I really wanted to go to the fair again -pouts- even though it's dirty and crowded, it was really fun with tiff and justin. Well, whatever... maybe I will update again or something... not like I will have anything to do... FOR AWHILE. ;__;

-Cryst-Ay.

nothing hurts [12] like nothing at all

[07 Mar 2003|11:27am]
well. this. should. be. quite. the. fucking. update. eh? :)

Well... not long ago i had the funnest fucking day (day >> night) @ south beach. yeeaa.. soo.. it was awesomee. :) and yea..
I changed my journal.. YOU LIKE?? I may change the back-ground. AGAIN. lol. Sorry, guys. buttt yeeeaaa. I'm @ brians house. woo. scarrriiee. yesturday i was murdered.. by means of lysol and pepper. when i went home my mom was like.. *snif snifff* "Toilet cleaner?" Lmao.. It was sooo muchhh fukkinnnnn funnn though, lol
but w//e my mom is looking for me [though she won't find me] & i will NOTT be posting my whereabouts. Sorry guys. Lmao. Like youu caaaaaare?? BUTT ANYYWAAYYYY. Today we made Naepon.. or joey and bri bri did.. LMfaaoO..well ima goo


Ttyl bye
nothing hurts [40] like nothing at all

FLuttering winGs [17 Jan 2003|09:58pm]
[ mood | Contemplative. ]
[ music | Buddha For Mary - 30 Seconds to Mars. ]

Life is Beautiful.

Never Stop Believing..

nothing hurts [14] like nothing at all

x fRiENdZz oNLy x [03 Jan 2003|10:46pm]
[ mood | Desperate, Aggitated, Amused. ]
[ music | Fine Again - Seether. ]

Faerie wh0res & Pretty BoyZz .. this journal is friends only. Not because I am a self-centered, paranoid bitch... but because I like to be able to vent :: No WorrieZz. I have shitloadz to say, and itz usually not socially accepted at Church, or in your local Elementary School. Itz not hard to be added. Add me, and leave a comment. Woot. If you wanna be a friend.. let me warn you :: I do not care about what you think, hate, or disapprove of :: Negetivity is .. just about as much as .. Hmm, shit for me. Dont you try and bring me down. I'm honest to a peek. You ask, I answer. I love [sweet] comments & [curious] comments.

<33 broken

I would like to restate the following: I do not care for disapproval or negetive thoughts of any sort commented in my journal... they are deleted. I have not had a serious problem with this issue, but I fear it is a possibility

Also, If you are not immediatly added I apologize, I don't get online so often anymore..but I try to be on daily and fix those things.

If you ask to be added, I expect you to add me as well.

nothing hurts [22] like nothing at all

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