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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Emily's Blurty:
- Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus
on yours. - Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
- Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
- Reassure me often that you love me.
- Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
- being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- being generous, caring, and warm
- being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
- not being able to say no
- having low self-esteem
- feeling drained from overdoing for others
- not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to
them - working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real
feelings - are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- are outwardly compliant
- are popular or try to be popular with other children
- act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy
(the more introverted Twos) - are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm
and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't) - are often playful with their children
- wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?"
"Have I caused irreparable damage?" - can become fiercely protective
- AX (SEVEN)
- BX (NINE)
- CY (SIX)
- CZ (ONE)
| Monday, February 9th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 1:12 pm | fuck.me. I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off. I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on. I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on YOUR christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top, I wish I was the evidence I wish I was the GROUNDS FOR fifty million hands upraised and opened toward the sky. I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me. I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me. I wish I was a messenger, and all the news was good. I wish I was the full moon shining off a camaro's hood. I wish I was AN ALIEN, at home behind the sun, I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on. I wish I was the pedal break that you depended on. I wish I was the verb "to trust", and never let you down. I wish I was A radio song, the one that you turned up, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I guess it never stops. | |||||||||||||||
| Thursday, February 5th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 1:57 pm | Daniel Lanois I thought of you in blue and red I thought of you where you were playing I thought of you in my bed You were there bound and chained I thought of you there next to me Wearing your pretty face I thought of everything you could be Sleeping in the devil's bed I looked for you when lights were low And I payed for what I had I looked for you way down below Till I felt I was going mad I think of you and I tell myself And the fever rises high I think of you and I get whats coming Sleeping in the devil's bed I thought of you up there on the ladder I thought of you when I heard the news I thought of you when it didn't matter If I accepted or refused I warned you when I wanted more I wanted everything I wanted what I couldn't give Sleeping in the devil's bed I woke up in the steady rain I woke up when you said It's late and I'm feeling heavy Could you hold my aching head I found myself tangled in wire I found you there in my dreams I found you in desire You had left the devil's bed | |||||||||||||||
| Thursday, January 29th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 12:46 pm | well..of course my mood changed. Part of being me is the great highs and the lows. | |||||||||||||||
| Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 1:35 am | his defination of me Emily slang term for a highly attractive and sexually intriguing individual. she drives me crazy, shes such an Emily. urban dictionary... | |||||||||||||||
| Saturday, January 24th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 4:34 am | ya know that facebook status that says "its complicated" yup. I really now know..that I am totally sleeping with ghosts. from the purly senusal to the absolute filth. its a reinventing of history. you would think I would know by now that this doesn't end well. I really have no idea why I keep doing this. ok thats not true I'm a sucker for love/lust I fall into easily.give freely of myself..but I'm selfish in that want. It then becomes unbalanced. I need to sleep now. tragic and beautiful. | |||||||||||||||
| Friday, January 16th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 3:05 pm | Strange what desire will make foolish people do... I feel grounded but on the edge. Perhaps on the edge of the ground..who the fuck knows. I'm almost dizzy with it. I think I'm stopping it just for a few days.It becomes bigger then me and I get swallowed by it. What I have learned is that everything ends. There is nothing that is permanent, and with that comes a certain sense of peace. Its a rather dark way of looking at things perhaps,but I am finding these days that I am more of a realist. This will end.One way or another and it will be really fucking painful. I'm going ahead with it anyway. It seems worth it. Consequenses. Current Mood: contemplative | |||||||||||||||
| Friday, January 9th, 2009 | ||||||||||||||||
| 3:04 am | my skin,your hands,our want Mouth to mouth its was like breathing heat into me and finding that place where I'm caught off guard Your reaching into my eyes and creating a world a sense of being new and each full throttle orgasm like its the first one unable to escape held in that hunger fed over and over again line by line fingers and hands my body raising to meet you and its one motion into me like waves i'm held captive and given the want closing in on the need tearing me off the ceiling back down I'm awake now. Emily Olding(c) Current Mood: calm Current Music: Pure Morning/Placebo | |||||||||||||||
| Sunday, November 30th, 2008 | ||||||||||||||||
| 4:44 pm | I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ. ~Gandhi | |||||||||||||||
| Wednesday, July 9th, 2008 | ||||||||||||||||
| 12:33 am | ugh..34 degrees with the humid index. Current Mood: hot | |||||||||||||||
| Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 | ||||||||||||||||
| 2:30 am | Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you? A: Say something Q: How do you get a redhead's mood to change? A: Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free .....if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours. Q: What's safer: a redhead or a piranha? A: The piranha. They only attack in schools. Q: How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend? A: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails. Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude? A: Normal Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A redhead! Q: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer? A: There's a hammer embedded in the monitor. Q: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl. | |||||||||||||||
| Wednesday, December 12th, 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
| 4:54 pm | ||||||||||||||||
| Saturday, March 31st, 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
| 12:58 pm | Work is going well,there is still a lot to learn..and my hand is much better. The irony of cutting my hand is that I worked in the cathering field for 3 months,worked with sharp knives all the time.Not once did I cut my self,not even a scratch. Third day on the job at a law firm, and I slice it open. House is tidy,I'm going to try and stay on top of it this week,cause next weekend will be very busy. | |||||||||||||||
| Friday, March 16th, 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
| 4:46 pm | I'm feeling better today>I managed to get a few things done in a short amount of time.I made Gypsy soup,it smells wonderful in my apartment,I even heard a kid ask his mom.."is that yummy food smell coming from are house?" He was dissapointed because they are having pizza. I also managed to do a load of laundry,and tidy up a bit. Davida called me,I may work for him again. I know I know I said I wouldn't do it again,but I need the money. (thats the Kosher Kitchen) I feel like I'm looking good today,I have found some clothes that compliment my curves..the only way I'm going to loose weight is to accept where I'm at now,as well as eat healthy and excersise,I have been doing all three. I have been really down on myself because of the wieght,so what do I do..I feel shitty so I eat crappy feel guilt and not want to go out.. I have made some healthy Vegatarian soups and stews,that are well balanced and low in fat, I'm starting to enjoy cooking again. Current Mood: chipper | |||||||||||||||
| Tuesday, March 6th, 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
| 4:15 pm | Tesco vee..blurty won't let me comment on your journal.. I wanna be somewhere warm its stopid cold here -40 -45 Why do I live here? around this time of year I ask myself this question also when it gets stopud hot here like 40+ ah.. Ottawa land of the extreme | |||||||||||||||
| Thursday, February 15th, 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
| 12:28 pm | I can't beleive I'm going to another fucking funeral. Wrap me up I am small... Ali Cat..is it true?...Beautiful ali cat.... My stomach is in knots...the funeral is at 2. Her poor parents...her brother... We danced..laughed..cried...fought...walked and walked... and we had each others numbers....we had not talked in awhile...I was meaning to call.... Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Creep/Radiohead | |||||||||||||||
| Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 | ||||||||||||||||
| 9:46 pm | I hate this fucking addiction I hate fucking mental illness.. My heart is torn up..My beloved friend Alllison took her life on Sunday..her funeral is tomorrow.This is the fifth fucking death the second in which Iwas very close to. I cannot stop crying but this is good..... Allison and I went to treatment together..we had funwe were pissy with each other over a guy..then we laughed about it..Our song was "This woman's work" By Kate Bush..I held her as we listened to Everybody Hurts..Hold on Allison I said.. oh dear God. I hope she has gound the peace she searched for..a beautiful smile..... Current Mood: heartbroken | |||||||||||||||
| Thursday, December 14th, 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
| 6:59 am | why do people get their panties in a bunch when you take them off your friends list? Current Mood: apathetic | |||||||||||||||
| Saturday, November 25th, 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
| 11:27 pm | blurty is being stupid. | |||||||||||||||
| Saturday, November 4th, 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
| 4:38 am | Dear fucked up sleep schedual, Please let me get to sleep at a decent time. Even 1am would be an improvement, Thankyou, Em | |||||||||||||||
| Sunday, September 3rd, 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
| 7:58 pm | but then again so is this...
The soup I made is farking awsome! The kids love it.... I would of thought that a kitchen would be the last place I want to be...but I really enjoy cooking tomorrow..roast lamb(which is currently in a secret marinade...)with roast onions red and white potaotes with chives steamed green beans with sliced almonds and chvril blueberry cake for dessert | |||||||||||||||
