MaGeN nIcOlE's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] MaGeN nIcOlE [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[ herself said it at...11:33pm on 5.18.05 ] so went and bought our star wars tickets for friday tonight!!! ugh its gonna be so much fun friday..me brian pat and eric so far..not sure about anyone else just yet..(( yea so what if were nerds..)) but gosh you should have seen everyone that was already there..for tonights showing...at midnight..it was funny...they're was so many people dressed up..and they had their lightsabers just like us...but yea..oh well..so dougie ended up getting put in juvie yesterday...expelled for the rest of the year and the first semester of next year..and his permit taken away..and he cant get his license till hes 18 and all that crap..and dougs got some 21 year old creak head bitch from haughville living with him already...and he freakin admited to cheating on my mom tonight...on more than one occasion...ugh....tomorrow our piano and organ and all that such is comming out of there thank god...gosh i wish i was there to tell him what i really think...i've been dying to since the day we moved out..and i've had to wait this long...i think im going to burst...so yea...well im going to bed...night guys.. love me?...

[ herself said it at...10:44pm on 3.22.05 ] once i finally get out of the bad mood that it puts me in...it manages to find a way to put me pack in that mood..thanks a lot fucker love me?...

[ herself said it at...5:01pm on 1.3.05 ] my harley man just checkin things out.. love me?...

[ herself said it at...1:41am on 1.2.05 ] sorry its been forever guys but its not like anyone really cares anyways...so..sorry its kinda late but... Happy New year i got to spend mine with bri...for the first time of the 3 that we've been together..lol so i was pretty excited..so anyways..i have a couple of resolutions.. 1. change a few of my habbits i dont like 2. make more friends.. and 3...this ones the biggest one..and it means the most to me..more than any other resolution i've ever made..and this is the one i promise myself to keep..but its a secret..and i cant tell you guys..sorry..but i'll let you kno if everything works out..hehe.. ok.. love me?...

[ herself said it at...1:41am on 12.22.04 ] hey..ugh guys...i founded this..and umm only like 2 people that i kno of actually read my blurty..so umm well will you do this for me..please?? oo1. What's my full name?: oo2. What's our relationship?: oo3. How and where did we meet?: oo4. How long have you known me?: oo5. Tell me one good thing about myself?: oo6. When you first saw me, what was your impression?: oo7. My age: oo8. My first breath was on: oo9. My favorite band at the moment: o1o. Colour eyes: o11. Do I have any siblings?: o12. Have you ever had a crush on me?: o13. What's one of my favorite things to do?: o14. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?: o15. Describe me in 3 words: o16. Name 5 things I love: o17. Do you think I'm good looking?: o18. How would you describe me to someone?: o19. Would you ever date me?: o2o. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did: o21: What do you like most about me?: o22: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?: o23: Have we ever gotten in a fight?: o24: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?: o25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: o26. What do you think my weakness is?: o27. Do you think I'll get married?: o28. What makes me happy?: o29. What makes me sad?: o3o. What reminds you of me?: o31. If you could give me anything, what would it be?: o32. When's the last time you saw me?: o33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?: o34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?: o35. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?: o36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?: o37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?: o38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?: o39. Would you make a move on me?: o4o. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?: 1 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...12:00am on 12.21.04 ] [ mood | loved ] [ music | The Flaming Lips-Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt. ] well this weekend was pretty eventful i guess...friday..we kristen took me over to bris..and well i hung out there..and we had more fun...and he still really sweet..hehe..then i came home around 6 er so...and well like around 7 mark came over..and stuff..then saturday..stephy and her mom left as soon as i got up..then i hung out here alone all day..then mom came and got me...and we tried to get my medicine..and well since i got the perscription filled in columbus..they wouldn't give it to me up here...then we went to the store..then stopped at dougs so i could get my playstation controller..then mom dropped me off like halfway to stephys cuz bri and cameron were walking to meet me half way cuz he thought i was here..but then we went to camerons house..and me bri cameron kristen and becca all hung out..and talked ..then around 9 bri went home..so i decided to leave too..so i came home..and hung out for a bit..then around midnight er so stephy and mark came home..and mark stayied the night it was really akward...so then sunday i woke up..and rhi called..then i ate and got ready then she came and picked me up..then we went back to her house..and we took her sister and her friend to see the grudge..eh it was ok i guess..but then we dropped them back off..then we drove around for a while...then we stopped at krogers..and i felt really stupid so i tried to apply there at there computer application thing..it was funny..so then we went to her house..and then went back out and rented some movies...then went back to her house then we ended up going to sleep..then woke up ate..watched a movie...then she brought me home..cuz i had to help clean..then i got into it with my mom cuz she started yelling for no freakin reason..cuz i didnt' kno something...eh..made me so made...so then i decided not to go to loR concert..cuz i didn't feel like being around a lot of noice and a lot of people..then bri called..and asked me what was wrong..and was really sweet..and told me to come down there..so i did..and he made me feel better..he cuddled with me lots and lots..and kept kissing my head..and telling me he loved me..awe..its so sweet!! hehe..we then we hung out for a long time..then at like 11 er so.. i left..but he came outside with me..and held just one last time..then he gave me his hat..and his bike so i could get home faster...hehe..then i came here..and i've been sitting here listening to music..and i think im getting ready to go to bed..cuz i gotta wake up and get all my clothes together cuz moms comming to get me to take me to my grandmas...yay...not! ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. love me?...

[ herself said it at...11:57pm on 12.16.04 ] im feeling really pretty tonite... feeling better.. today was a half day..and well fun started as soon as we got to the car....we fit 8 people into kristen little itty bitty car and stephy was in the trunk...haha..it was great..so then went straight to bris stayied there till about 430 er so..but oh my gosh..it was so great..he always finds someway to amaze me..today he was the sweetest thing ever..and oh so cute!!!! hehe..but then i had to leave..which sucked...to go to drivers ed...which today was our last day so yay!!!! for that...hehe...but..then mom picked me up..and took me grocery shopping..so i got some yummy food..for me and stephy... then we stoped at dougs to get something...and i just looked around there..its so different..and joey and siera were telling him how much they miss me..its kinda sad..and it kinda makes me wanna go back!! but eh..so well then came back here..and talked to my bri some more..then hung out with stephy and made her shells and yummy cheese!!! she liked them..it made me happy..so then got in the shower..then got on here and worked on a english paper that was due tuesday..lol...so now im done and figured..that id write now..hehe....cuz im smart..sorry if this doesn't make sence..but im sitting her with my eyes clossd and im trying to concentrate on what to say...but its not working...awe...oh well.. ..:his.pretty.little baby" love me?...

[ herself said it at...11:18pm on 12.14.04 ] [ mood | confused ] [ music | sublime-doin' time ] why cant all this just go away...it seriously just needs to stop..im tired of always having to deal with this.. i want to see my dad..i havne't seen him in over a year..and its driving me crazy the stupid fuckin telephone just isn't enough..and well i dont think thats gonna happen all because of him..and how he doesn't like it..well i got news for him..this isn't his life its mine..and technically hes got no say so anymore..even though sometime i think it would be good to go back there..just so everything would be back to normal..and dont get me wrong i love steph to death and she has nothing to do with this im so happy i haver someone like her to be there for me when i need her..even though i do get on her nerves and everything...its just i miss those nights i could go and lock myself in my room..and look around at everything and just sit and cry because i felt like it er call brian..and tell him everything that about my day and just go on and on about nothing and he would listen he still does..but ist just not the same..in there i wasnt' afraid to be too loud i wasn't afraid to piss anyone off..i wasn't afraid of anything..if i wouldn't have dropped that stupid gallon of milk everything would be fine..and id still have almost everything i needed right there...just a reach away...it sounds really stupid but i miss my room and everything in it..and as my mom says my "hippy lookin" set up..yea i still have all of it but its all packed away..ya know its just it was mine..something of my own a place i felt safe and like nothing could ever get to me in there..and now all i have is my bag of clothes..and everything for school...hopefully my mom come up with somehting... i know shes trying..but sometimes i get all caught up in my life..and i argue with her..telling her she needs to try harder..but shes trying as hard as she can...like tonite..i got off the phone with bri..and i just got so mad..like all the sudden for no reason...i didn't have a reason to be..so i called her..and just cried...and wen she asked whats wrong..i told her i didn't know..thats all i could tell her..cuz i really dont kno...bri didnt' do anything. right before he got off we were laughing..and joking and everything..thats whats so weird...but i just kept crying and crying....and she just sat and listened and told me it was gonna be ok...and i felt so bad...she kept going on about how bad of a parent she is and shes not..gosh shes not at all..theres just a bunch of shit going on..that doesn't make her a bad parent..its not like shes leaving me on the streets...and i get so mad at myself cuz im just so fusterated..that i yell at her..and make her upset...my gma..and my aunt.. are constantly telling her to get rid of doug and move down there and everything..well she donsn't want to..she wants to stay up here..she wants doug to straighten out..and everything..i do too..but shes always complaing how "everyone is telling her how to live" well im not trying to tell her..im just telling her what i think..and i let her know that...she said shes not mad at me..but i feel so horrible...ugh.. if everything would just work out..at least just a little bit..everything would be ok..and so much better...gosh.. not feeling to pretty tonite.. ..:his.little.baby:.. 1 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...8:07pm on 12.13.04 ] [ mood | creative ] [ music | the good ol' television.. ] hey guys... so im here at stephys dads..with her...its fun here..but..right now shes takin a nap..so..im on here..today was weird..went to school nothing new..finals are this week..so everyones stressing about that..and well the only one im stressing on is my chemistry..cuz im a loser..and dont understand anything..miss nealy is just crazy..she has so many mood swings...man..and i thought i was bad...but hmm..so yea..then after school went to drivers ed..then walked to mcdonalds..and hung out with trevor..and his friends for a bit..then we walked over to fulton..and ran through the hallways..and tried to get in all the lockers...and stuff..then i ran into chelsey, and evan..so i talked to them for a bit..then chelsey and this other girl that was in my spanish class last year..cant remember her name..but they stood with me waiting for my ride..so we were goofing off..then doug got me..and took me to stephys..then her dad came and got me..and brought me here.. :D ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 3 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...12:09pm on 12.11.04 ] [ mood | tired ] [ music | sublime-santeria ] wow...last nite was quite an experience...a fun one!!! so..went to school...skipped drivers ed..and came home..went over to brians..hung out there for like 2 hours..had fun goofed around...then his dad took us over to dougs..we got there..hung out..and messed around..i didnt do anything till kaylynn got there..and then were dancing around being stupid..and acting goofy..we had our minds made up that jon and brian..were makin fun of us in there heads..it was crazy..all night bri just walked around aimlessly looking like a weirdo...i couldn't help but laugh at him... haha we were listening to sublime all night..and jason and joey were dancing..then dougs mom came out and they all danced together it was so funny! so then later some people left..and it just left me, kaylynn, donna, kristen(( i think thats her name)) and liesl as the only girls...so then kaylynn donna and kristen left then a little bit later liesl left..so it was just me..so we all watched t.v for a bit..then around 11 er so...bri passed out...so i watched some more t.v. and then went and hung out with everyone else...then they ordered pizza..and then me, wes, jay, jareth, jon and doug were all hanging out in the kitchen talkin to dougs mom..boy that was educational..lol..and wes asked dougs mom if she thought he was sexy..and she said for your age yes you are..then he goes well what if i took my clothes off..would i still be sexy..it was so funny...then wes and jareth went out back..and me and jay went and watched t.v..and talked..wes and jareth got caught..then dougs dad ended up takin them home...then me and jay were trying to get to sleep..but just wasn't working...so..then.. he fell asleep..and it left just me awake..so i watched some more music videos..and kept trying to get bri up..but he wouldn't wake up for nothing...it sucked...first time we get to spend the night together and he passes out..ugh..lol..oh well it was still fun..so then i went back to the chair..and finally fell asleep around 4..then woke up at 8 then agian 9 but doug f. , brian and nic woke up too..nic went back to sleep...but me bri and doug..watched cartoons..and then finally got up and walked to mcdonalds..then my mom came and picked us up.. now im here..and waiting on her to get off..so we can go down to my grandmas..ugh.. ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. love me?...

[ herself said it at...10:05pm on 12.7.04 ] [ music | gone till november-wyclef jean ] i hate it...i freakin hate this time of month.. i do and say so manythings i dont mean to..one minute im fine the next im a total bitch...all for no reason... then on the other hand..theres so many things i do all the time...i speak without thinking..and make a complete ass of myself...i make a big deal outta things that aren't..i seem like im only worried about myself..but im not really..i really do care about other people and what they have to say...and i dont mean for it to come off that way..but i really do care...i really want people to think that im there for them..cuz i am..and if they have problems..im there to help any way i can...theres so many things that i do that i hate..and i kno i do them..but i've been doing them...for so long i do them without noticing..and when i do..i hate myself even more for not noticing..and another thing..when im around certian people i feel so dumb..because i dont think about things..and crap like that...and when i realize what i did..i feel like im 2 inches big..and there just standing over me looking at me saying " damn magen how can you be that stupid?" seriously..ugh..theres soooo many things that need to be changed about me..that i have to do..but im not motivated enough to do it..i kno if i do i'll become such a better person..but nothing at all ever motivates me..its so depressing..so then that makes me even more not motivated...i do the same things day in day out..school..come home..either talk er see brian..hang out with stephy..lol..((well duh))..then go to bed..and do it all over again..and that so needs to change..i need to get out in that big ol' world out there..and do something then maybe i might become motivated enough to do things..hmm who knos.. ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 3 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...10:20pm on 12.2.04 ] tell me something... should i leave my picture in the background..er not...cuz im starting to think its looks really stupid..eh? ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 3 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...5:40pm on 11.30.04 ] eh..'ello folks.. today was another day...nothing new..was alright..i guess..got a little hyper in some classes really tired in others..then went to drivers ed..wasn't as boring as usual..then mom picked me up..went to mcdonalds..now im here.. boring eh?? ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. love me?...

loopy doopy [ herself said it at...9:21pm on 11.27.04 ] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | comfortably numb *pink floyd* ] hey everyone... Your Porn Star Name is: Mary Muffmuncher Get your own Porn Star Name hehe Your Boobies' Names Are: Cheech and Chong Get your own Boobie Names haha sorry...but that is funny...well last nite was so amazingly wonderful..another night with my bri bri..and well it was awesome..mom picked him up after i got back from drivers ed..we went shopping..and we were being goofy around the stores it was so awesome..i felt so wonderful...it was like we were the only ones around..and nothing could ever go wrong..i love it when i feel that way..because most of the time i act all gay around him..im just not myself in a way..he asks me to do something like play infront of him..er do some impression er sing..and im just too scared..i hate it..we've been together for about 2 freakin years..you would think i wouldnt be afraid of anything and ya kno deep down inside im not i would do anything because he knos me best he know absolutely everything about me..and loves who i am for me...but something just wont let it come out..i try my hardest not to act that way but it still happens..not so much since our "break" but still.. gosh ya kno even tho it was a week and a couple of days...it still sucked...but then again i think it was great..because everytime were together its not arguing unless were just playing around and being stupid..and its just wonderful..hmm i love him so much its unreal hes so amazing..and i have no idea what would happen if that ever changed...agh..i love you so much bri well today i did nothing...sat here alone all day cuz stephy went to markys show..and her mom was at work..it was weird...then at like 5 mom picked me up and we went and rented some movies..cuz i wanted to..plus bris mom wouldnt last nite because she thought it was a bad movie..its only rated NC17 who cares...lol she probably thot it was some porn er something..haha...but anyways..then we went to dougs..and well wished siera a happy birthday..and well that was a weird experience..haha..ya kno i've only been over there like twice since we moved out..and well it feels so akward...and its so awesome..cuz i can just get up and walk out any damn time i please..hehe...awesome... ya kno..i kno my mom still loves doug..which i understand..i have no idea as to why she loves him..but still i understand...but we were talkin..and shes still gonna stay moved out..and well i think they'er still gonna stay married...but were just gonna live in seperate houses...because..all 6 of us can not live together...you get me him and mom..and were fine((even though he still drinks))..and you get him and mom and they're fine..but you cant put his kids in there..they suck big time.. they cause all the problems..and the only reason they cause mine and dougs problems is i quote him.."magen is just all around better then them..shes more responsilbe and mature" << that was on a good nite me him and mom were alone..and he said that to mom.. but he still acts the way he does because he cant stand that im better than them..well not really them..because he can care less about joey and siera..but he treats dougie like he can do no wrong..no matter what...so even though he knos and admitted..that i acted better than dougie..he still treats me as if i killed someone and hates me..but eh who cares...either way it goes..i dont have to deal with him anymore..cuz just because they're still married..hes no longer my boss...haha..thank god..and i swear if mom ever does move in with him like she did last time we moved out im gonna hate her forever..eh oh well i guess i'll worry about that if it ever happens... i want to have a big party for my 16th birthday..and i want it to be great!!! and anyone who loves me can come!! ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 3 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...4:39pm on 11.15.04 ] [ mood | sick ] [ music | straylight run.."existentialism on prom night" ] eh..today sucked..for the most part..but hey.nothing i can do now.. woke up didnt feel good, but i thot i was just something small got so school it hurt to talk..it hurt to concentrate at all..so in homeroom went to the nurse she told me i didnt have a fever..and i wasnt' supposed to be down there..unless i was dying..and well to me it was dying.. so went the rest of the day..slept in every single class...thank god i didnt get in trouble.. went to mass media found out i got a good grade.hehe..and i thot we bombed it.. went to lunch...always eventful..cuz of the freakin goobers i sit with.. finally in 10th per. went back down to the nurse..took my temp again..and it was 101. something...jeeze...ha..see i knew i was sick...the lady got mad cuz i got mouthy with her..cuz she told me i couldn't lay down cuz again i wasnt supposed to be down there.. grr...so she finally apologized wen she saw my temp..stupid lady..eh oh well so laid down then came home..and did it some more..now stephs gone with her dad..and im here all alone..kinda weird..but oh well.. btw..me and bri are back together!!!!..happened last nite.. :D ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 1 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...6:50pm on 11.10.04 ] ....so much for going back to normal..... ..another wonderful nite..well it was still day..lol..humph... ..everytime i think its gonna happen it never does..i cant stand..it..we still act like were together...so y the hell cant we be..jeeze.. ..oh well i love my bri bri.. always and forever ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 2 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...10:14pm on 11.9.04 ] [ mood | so so happy..i cant explain!!! ] [ music | the television ] oh my gosh..tonite was awesome...agh...i feel so much better...markys home so he came over..so i went to bris..and for the first hour..we sat on the opposite side of the couch..and slept...then after dinner he kept lookin at me...so i asked him what was wrong..and hes like..nothing..so i made him get up and give me a hug..and i felt so weird..i was nervous..so then we sat down next to each other..and we started goofin off..and then he kissed me..it was the most amazing kiss..ever..seriously...i stoped in the middle and said.."would you think i was crazy if i told you i had butterflies?" and he answered "i kno what you mean" gosh.. :D then we were all cuddly for the rest of the nite..and he kept tellin me he loved me..it was so sweet..then wen i left he walked me out...and we stood in the driveway for like 20 min..cuz we didnt wanna let go...we just hugged..and hugged..so awesome..well then he looked at me..and said from now on its gotta go back to normal..and that we cant do that anymore..and how much we NEED each other...which is so true...but hes right ..if were on a break..we cant do that..lol...i just cant wait till the break is over... hmmm always and forever ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 1 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...2:52pm on 11.7.04 ] gosh..all i can think about is that everythings not gonna be ok.... last nite i fell asleep crying...and since i was offline...all my ims go directly went to moms cell..well bri said hey and it woke me up..so around 1 er so..we talked for bout 5-10 min er so..but it made me feel better and i was able to sleep...he told me to call him today..so i did..but him and joey were makin waffels...so we didnt talk long..but wen i got off the phone i layed there...trying my hardest not to cry..i cant help it..its so hard to believe...that were not together.ya kno..cuz its been so long....but oh well...so since then i've been helping my gma clean and such to try and keep my mind off of it...and untill now...it has...so hmm..well im supposed to call him back later..so hopefully..that all goes well.. always and forever.. ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 2 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...5:58pm on 11.6.04 ] [ mood | loved ] hey all...hows everything going...good hopefully... last nite i was hanging out with bri..and well im single for now.... we were watching hook..and then some other movie came on and i feel asleep and he kept trying to get me to get up..but i didnt..then finally around 1 er so..he woke me up and i was all grumpy cuz i always am wen i wake up..so we started to walk outside.and we started arguing..about me being a bitch..and i admit i was...so then finally after talkin for a bit..he went to give me a hug..then backed away saying it didnt feel right..then he said magen i need to tell you something..and i asked him what and hes like i'll just tell ya tomorrow cuz i wanna think about it..and stuff..i kept asking him what it was..and hes like im not telling you because it will send you home crying..so i looked at him and said your not gonna break up with me are you...and he said that we should take a break..cuz all we do is argue anymore...which is kinda true...i mean we've been together for about 2 years..what do ya expect...so i started crying..and he hugged me..and we talked for like an hour and a half about everything..and gosh..last nite all i could think about were the bad things...like him being with someone else..and him realizing he doesnt really love me..ya kno..and i dont wanna loose him..he means so much to me.. he kept telling me that it doesnt mean he hates me..and were still gonna hang out..and stuff..but not as often..and everything...and today i've been thinking..hes right...about..a month ago i was talkin to stephy..i was thinkin it would be a good idea to take a break..and i just forgot about it..cuz i cant think of me not being with my bri bri.. but ya kno its time..and we still love each other more than ever...we just need time apart... this morning..mom picked me up from stephs at like 9 and took me to dougs...then she went to get the truck washed/fixed whatever...but she left me her phone..and around noon er so..i called him..cuz i was bored..and i just needed to hear his voice..cuz even tho im upset over him..hearing it would make me happy...so we talked..and he asked me how i was..and things like that...it made me feel so good to kno he wanted me to be ok...its nice to kno...that things are fine..and were not fighting er anything..well ya kno they say if ya love something let it go..and if it comes back it was ment to be..well im hoping..it was really meant to be..cuz.... i love MY bri bri with all my heart and always will and he will always be my bri bri no matter what and i will always be... ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 1 does love me?...

[ herself said it at...2:02pm on 10.31.04 ] hoo..humm..well today is sunday and i have nothing..what so ever to do... well im stayin at my grandmas till friday...so wonder how thats gonna be..good hopefully..i talked to bri a lil bit ago..and he said he wanted to go trick er treating with me...but i cant go..so i said he can go up there and i'll go down here but nah..thats not gonna work out....so neither one of s is going..gosh i wanna do something...i want mom to take me out..driving..she said she would..but hasnt' yet..oh well i'll probably have to wait till the race is over....gosh her and those races..i think i actually have homework to do..but im not gonna do it just yet...il wait till later...dude i gotta get up at freakin 5:30 er so...cuz we gotta leave here by 6..wonder how traffics gonna be...hopefully not that bad..but i was also thinkin of skipping tomorrow..cuz moms gotta go back to dougs just one more time...but i think i'll have her drop me off at like 12..wont be so bad..right..hmm..well im gonna go..cuz my grandma doesnt want me on the internet..that long..cuz it ties up her phone..bleh.. i want everything to be over with..i wanna be moved already..but mom takes her sweet freakin time...god.. ..:his.pretty.little.baby:.. 2 does love me?...

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