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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003

    Time Event
    1:30a
    My First Entry...
    Okay... well... I guess, before I get into the events that have driven me to need an anonymous outlet, I should introduce you to the 'Players' as they will be henceforth known... so here's a small paragraph devoted to each one.
    Amanda is my roommate in my apartment, and we get along fairly well... she's a tad disorganized and easily distracted, especially when a 'cute' guy's involved... To make matters more complicated, this isnt the first time we've lived together... we went out three years ago, and broke up 1 and a half years ago... at the time, we were the only two ppl we knew in orlando, so we had to remain friends, and even though its kinda hard sometimes, our friendship remains strong, though strange... I'm welcome to any questions and/or feelings about this situation, so feel free to talk back! :-D
    Jenny... well... She actually has a journal on this site, but i'll leave it at that... I fell hard for her back in february... harder than any one human being should have to fall... stupid me though, i didnt realize how much she meant to me until she told me one day she found herself a boyfriend... so James falls hard, doesnt realize it, mainly cuz he doesnt want a relationship at the time, and when he is ready for one, he's about 3 days too late... damn... typical though... since then, jenny's been one crisis after another... but i've played *some* part in the whole thing, so we wont blame her totally...
    Sara... here's another girl that i met around the time I met Jenny... cute, wonderful, but too possessive and territorial at the time for me... not what i needed or wanted... like i said, not wanting a relationship...
    Brittany... The last girl i officially dated... we dated from july of 2002 till march or april of 2003... though, she left florida to go to maine for school in january, and while we wanted to try to keep up a psuedo long distance relationship, it didnt really work out that well, hence one of the reasons i was meeting other ppl... to sort of fill the void...
    I dont think that any more important players are here... but as i mention someone new, i'll leave some bio and background... so, anyway, the current situation... sara and I were very very close... she told me she loved me, and i was a tad freaked by this at first, but after she went home, i told her i loved her to, because truth be told... I do... anyway... she left florida in May to go back home to Boston, and then invited me up to stay with her for a week and hang out... so here it is in the middle of august and i'm in boston, spending time with her. She tells me she loves me, and she's mine, and so on and so forth, and I love it, i love her... i'm now looking for a relationship, a special someone to spend all my time with, but it's rough, ya know? Anyway, I was considering moving up here to boston, and her being here was a major bonus, and would be a deciding factor if a better job was offered elsewhere... but i got up here on wednesday, and some guy starts flirting with her on AIM... She tries to politely blow him off, but he keeps on, then i turn my back, she types something, and i cant see what it is... well... she's got DeadAIM on her computer, so it logs all her convo's... she tries to play it down, but because of the number of liars i've dealt with in the past, unfortunately, i didn't beleive her... i say unfortunately, only because it is unfortunate that i can't trust anyone anymore, because a few have lied to me... but anyway, I take a look at her log to him that day and she said that i wasn't a big deal and that i'd be gone on tuesday anyway... so i was curious... i asked her about him... she said he was just some guy she knew from high school, he always flirted with her, but she wouldnt be caught dead alone with him, he creeped her out, and while he flirted with her, she always laughed and shrugged it off... but she was still very secretive about her convo's w/ him... so i was still suspicious... so i checked her logs back to the first log that DeadAIM has for him, and it was indeed their first convo... a mere 2.5 months ago!... a guy from high school indeed... not only did she lie to me about that... she told me that she laughed and shrugged it off? bull... she has shown him provacative pictures that not even i have seen... she has said things to him that she hasnt to me... and they are making plans to meet THE DAY AFTER I LEAVE!!!... So what am i to do? I know she's lying to me about it, and i can understand her mentality... he's not gonna find out, so why tell... but i already have... well... who knows... i'd love to be able to have a clear cut solution, but i cant come up with anything easy or smooth... all i can do is confront her and tell her what i know... after that... i suppose its up to the fates...

    Till we meet again, mes amis

    James

    AIM Jeugener
    Yahoo neonexo2k
    MSN neonexo2k@hotmail.com

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