NeNe's Blurty
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in NeNe's Blurty:

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    Sunday, February 20th, 2005
    11:00 am
    Stinky!
    Damn, the dogs just came in from outside and they're wet and they smell! These arent my dogs I don't have to deal with their stinkiness! Curses!

    Well, to let you all know how I am, I'm physically speaking all right, just depressed. I miss my friends Danell, Cristi, Rachel, Jen. I spend the majority of my time awake alone, all I've wanted is to spend some time with Robby and there's just so damn much he has to do on the weekends, I'm not entirely a priority ya know, I'm just his fiance after all right? lol I'm just lonely I guess.

    I don't come over here much because I can't normally stand the smell, but Robby's mom has been cleaning so the untrained dog smell has lessened considerably. I can't stand Jonnie's low life husband either, and considetring he got canned he'll be here a lot so I can't see her without his stinky ass. He barged into the house yesterday without knocking and he stank like damp cigarettes, I got an instant headache, I've never wanted anybody buried so much in all my life; for those that think me insensitive, you don't know Pat.

    Well, maybe after Robby and I leave here we'll do something other than work on the truck or sleep, we havent been up long enough to need to go back to sleep. Take care all, toodles!

    Current Mood: depressed
    Saturday, February 5th, 2005
    12:57 am
    Alone, cold, and naked
    Okay, so I'm not naked, but I know you wish I was. I shall make this a quick update. I know it's been awhile, and you're just dying to know about me, but hey, I'm only one woman.

    Things haven't been really exciting, Embrosia's fleas are gone, Midnight doesnt have any, and I've been doing a lot of cleaning. It's been lonely to be in my position because Robby is gone at work so much of the time, and when he's not normally we're eating or sleeping. I like having my own place though, having alone time is nice, I get to think, write, and be naked as often as I choose.

    I'm sorry by the way, if you don't like knowing of my pro-naked stature, but you see, I don't care if you know or not; I don't like clothes, they suck, I hate them. So if you don't wanna know I'm naked a lot, hit yourself in the the head with somthing heavy and blunt, and hope the concussion takes away the memory of this entry. ONWARDS!

    I've been talking to Nellie as much as I can, somehow we were reduced to talking about jigsaw puzzles and having a gravy fight if ever she comes out here. I don't know where it comes from but we certainly are a pair. We have a combined personality that comes out when we're together. her name is DaNene, and she is all the power of stupid in one unique set! She is the reason for thoughts of country called Lasbianism in which nobody is a lesbian, we've been going on about that since we were 14 and 15.

    My parents phone is disconnected, don't know why, but it has me worried, and I want them to come out and visit sometime soon; but how can they when they can't pay the damn phone bill! I miss them, and I want my stuff *sigh* ah, well

    Well for now I just don't know what else to say, I must be shoving off as I have calls to make. TOODLES!

    Current Mood: horny
    Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
    9:10 am
    WOW!
    Damn but it's been awhile since I've been on here. Alas, I cannot take long for I have other things to do. Here's a short recap on my life...

    I've been in my house for just over a week now and I'm lovin' it, other than the laboring to get everything lookin' purty. I've been doing dishes by hand EVERY night. I know I'm as baffled as you but if Robby's is going out there and being the bread winner that means I have to do something ya know what I mean? I haven't been able to see much of him because he's worked overtime, and what I have seen of him we've been working our asses off. On his one day off we got stuck in a parking lot for like 2 hours because he was playing on the ice and there were tire tracks from when things were slushy and had yet to freeze over. I got a headache from the smell of burning rubber from the tires, since my head hurt, he got to walk by himself half a mile to a little place call save a lot to buy salt.

    MOVING ON!

    Embrosia still has fleas and it annoys me quite badly, not only that but it pisses me off. I don't hate Robby's mom but I hate the way she "takes care" of her animals. Dammit, how can you ignore that your dog has a scabbed neck the way hers does? she hasnt even tried to do anything about it in over a month. I know she tried to do something for it last time i was herwe before I moved....over three months ago. Not cool. Embrosia has been getting sprayed almost every day. There have been three days since we moved next door that she hasnt gotten some kind of treatmeant.

    It's fucking hot in here. My cheeks are burning and it's not with desire, (that was yesterday hahahahaha....shut up all of you! ....:) ) This room never got this warm when i lived in it, it came close but not this warm. Probly all the puter what not.

    Anymahoo, I'll try to keep you all updated, but right now i have to see if i have phone numbers id like to program in to the call phone. Toodles!

    Current Mood: hot
    Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
    12:43 am
    Still here...
    I'm still in this house that's not my home. Dammit, why do I even hope for anything to get done over there? I want to live in someplace that doesn't have a worthless drunk in it.

    Appearntly, Pat has been complaining about me too, oh yeah. Bitching that he can hear me on the phone out here and what not. Not to me though, to Jonnie, my soon to be mother-in-law. I was laughing when I was on the phone last night with her and he was all pissy. Maybe when he gets the balls to say something himself I will consider, consider keeping quiet, otherwise, fat boy will just have to deal.

    Oh, yeah. Robby's truck (his name is Blubber) got a flat last night, he couldn't go to work, and he wasn't non-too happy about it. He came in pretty pissed, but after he went to try and get air for it and came back he was okay. And I liked it sorta, cuz I got to spend more time with him, but it sucks, because he has to work all this fucking overtime just to even shit out. luckily he has a full week off work coming up. If we don't get pissed at eachother that'll be fresh. I came out here to be with him, not his mom and drunk stepfucker.

    One more thing about Stepfucker Pat, he went to court today (yesterday?) for domestic abuse charges. He wont even tell Jonnie what happened. Incidently she's the reason the charges were filed in the first place. I don't know why she stays. She has a different excuse every time, right now it's money. But he uses their money anyway and they end up broke. I hate him. I hope he breaks whatever shit they have him doing for court and gets sent to prison to be mawled in the ass by some big guy named BoBo.

    Oh, on a lighter note, I'm an old woman now. Psh, yeah, 20. But to me it seems old, my best friend since 1st grade is only 18, and thats as of july 30th. I didn't get to do much for my big day, I got a headache in fact, but it's okay, I wasn't expecting much. I got Boo-Berry cereal and that's all that matters.

    Well, that's all from me for now, I'm tired, I need sleep, I'm saying goodbye to my friend Gabe for the night (morning) and going to see my kitty. Toodles!

    Current Mood: exhausted
    12:43 am
    Still here...
    I'm still in this house that's not my home. Dammit, why do I even hope for anything to get done over there? I want to live in someplace that doesn't have a worthless drunk in it.

    Appearntly, Pat has been complaining about me too, oh yeah. Bitching that he can hear me on the phone out here and what not. Not to me though, to Jonnie, my soon to be mother-in-law. I was laughing when I was on the phone last night with nellie and he was all pissy. Maybe when he gets the balls to say something himself I will consider, consider keeping quiet, otherwise, fat boy will just have to deal.

    Oh, yeah. Robby's truck (his name is Blubber) got a flat last night, he couldn't go to work, and he wasn't non-too happy about it. He came in pretty pissed, but after he went to try and get air for it and came back he was okay. And I liked it sorta, cuz I got to spend more time with him, but it sucks, because he has to work all this fucking overtime just to even shit out. luckily he has a full week off work coming up. If we don't get pissed at eachother that'll be fresh. I came out here to be with him, not his mom and drunk stepfucker.

    One more thing about Stepfucker Pat, he went to court today (yesterday?) for domestic abuse charges. He wont even tell Jonnie what happened. Incidently she's the reason the charges were filed in the first place. I don't know why she stays. She has a different excuse every time, right now it's money. But he uses their money anyway and they end up broke. I hate him. I hope he breaks whatever shit they have him doing for court and gets sent to prison to be mawled in the ass by some big guy named BoBo.

    Oh, on a lighter note, I'm an old woman now. Psh, yeah, 20. But to me it seems old, my best friend since 1st grade is only 18, and thats as of july 30th. I didn't get to do much for my big day, I got a headache in fact, but it's okay, I wasn't expecting much. I got Boo-Berry cereal and that's all that matters.

    Well, that's all from me for now, I'm tired, I need sleep, I'm saying goodbye to my friend Gabe for the night (morning) and going to see my kitty. Toodles!

    Current Mood: exhausted
    Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
    11:15 pm
    *ACHOO*
    Blah, I'm Jeannine and I am sick! Curse that which is the sinus infection! I stab at thee in an attempt to thwart you! BAH! So yeah I'm not feeling well and I'm still at the house that contains, Pat, the drunken, loser, pantiwaist. I'm telling you, the man gave my dog fleas.

    Other than that, I've done minor work on the house, mostly i just like going to see my cat, midnight. I miss laying with her. I'm not sure if I told you last time but she tried to hide in a heating vent and she got stuck, the thing wasnt covered, so i pulled her out and we put a cover on it, my poor baby girl. I hate to see her as scared as she has been. but I'm not going over until morning I think, I just don't feel good, and it's cold, normally cold doesnt bother me, but when I'm sick, everything does.

    That's about all I have to say, I wanna get some rest and hopefully feel good enough to go with robby bowling, toodles!

    Current Mood: sick
    Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
    11:16 pm
    Stupid people
    I'm still at Robby's parents place. I despise it here. Every day I'm here I find out how stupid people can be. How naive it makes me feel at times yes? Yes. Example: Today as I was waking, Robby's mother came in to ask if we had taken the small TV that Robby was borrowing from her to the house, even though, she had seen it in our room because I had been watching it the night before. Why was she asking? Because there was a little TV over there and PAT (the stupid, drunken, fuckin, bastard she married and refuses to leave because she's being dumb) gave it to his son who is to live above us, Aaron. WTF?!?! They're all dumb! Can't expect too much from Aaron because he is the spawn of Pat *shivers* perish the thought that anybody would let Pat touch them, he's gross, he needs to bathe, badly. I have never smelled a human that disgusting, and I've been around shitty diapered babies! Pat is absolutely repulsive, I loathe him. Oh, last night was a prime example of how stupid he is, he couldn't remember the word "doorknob" He was complaining to Jonnie (Robby's mom) about some Xmas decore she had on the doorknobs, well, he was telling her he didnt like the things she had "hanging on the thing you open the door with" DOORKNOBS! DOORKNOBS FUCKER! FUCKING DOORKNOBS! How retarded are you you sonofabitch? I've known people with downs (yes i know its spelled wrong im drawing a blank leave me alone) syndrom smarter than you! You are worthless scum of the fucking Earth!......Well now, onwards.

    Other than that I'm sick of the dogs they keep shitting on the floor, and who cleans it up? Me or Robby. That's right, not Pat or Jonnie, nope. Pat even stepped in the shit and what did he do? Whiped it on the garage floor. I left it for him to step on, I thought it was hilarious, I cleaned the shit inside afterwards, but I just had to see if he would step in it. Other than that Robby has cleaned up after them, because the smell can give me a headache.and it attributed to one this morning. Thus, Robby took care of it. I love that man. Thankfully they have the one dog chained to the door tonight so if she does shit, at least it will be on the kitchen floor and not in the living room. She never does though, when she's chained she'll let you know she wants outside. And praise Allah (no, I don't practice any religion and if I spelled that wrong, I apologize) my dear puppy Embrosia hasn't picked up any of their nasty habits. She's cool like that, I love my dog.

    Well, I think I've written enough for now, I have to pee anyway. Until next time, toodles!

    Current Mood: pissed off
    Friday, December 3rd, 2004
    11:27 pm
    I met one already
    Well, the day was pretty good today, night time sucked kinda, but we'll get into that later.

    Good news for me, I met a juggalo here in Beloit already. Yeah that's right, how fresh is that? It was like this, I was outside a gas station with Robby as he was pumping gas (well, diesel anyway), talking with him in my sauve Psychopathic leather jacket. When someone harks from behind me, "I WANT YOUR COAT!" I look around, there's this ninja standing outside his car, door still opened, one ice blue contact in his right eye, the other eye i cant tell from where im standing, blonde hair back in a hat. I'm all smiley as he starts trying to figure out how much money he has to buy my coat, never did say how much but the gear wasnt up for sale anyway. I'm all giddy thinkin' JUGGALO! Cuz I love me some juggalos, and its cool to already know there's some here. Well I start talking with him and his homie, his lady was cool enough to go in and pay for the gas after he was done pumping. Anymahoo, we were talking about the hells pit tour, and the ninja has been to like three of the shoes, jealous? a tad but not too much, I got to see it myself after all. but we had a couple of laughs and the poor juggalo was freezing his nuts off, i offered to let him wear the jacket until he got back in the car, he declined which is fine. I didnt think he would try stealin the shit anyway, not just cuz he's a juggalo either, but like, robby could kick his ass lol nah but he was cool. never caught his name though but hopefully ill see him around again. He gave me his website shit but juggalo if u read this, i already forgot, ill look for it in my head though. So yeah, that was the highlight of my day *grins*

    Aside from that the day was still good, Robby and I were both feeling better than yesterday, even though my poor baby is feeling assed out from a cold. We had Arby's. Mmmmm jalapeno bites, good shit. We didn't go to sleep until 2:30 and we woke up at 8:30? I think around then.

    Still things were okay, until after Robby left for work and I'm still here. Pat and Mom started feuding over some dumb shit, Ma wanted to finish her quilting and that drunken loser husband guy of hers wanted her to turn everything off so he can go to sleep. Well the fucker is so drunk he can't even PRONOUNCE drunk, so he he would have been asleep in five minutes tops, but no, he starts fighting. And they bitch and each one of them us calling the other selfish. Pat called Mom a cunt which is way outta line, but I didn't get into this one. She calls him a drunked dick and he thought she called him a bastard......!!!! How the fuck do u get that? DAMN man, what the fuck? He's just touchy about that because he's adopted and his parents didnt want him. Go figure. They have to be some of the smartest people out there, to get rid of him know what I'm saying. You might think that's cruel but you havent met the guy all right? And he was raised by two damn good peopleand still can't appreciate that. So fuck him, that's what I say. This thing was so drunk tonight he took my dog out twice and tried to a third time AFTER he had watched me take her out before any of this. She's not his dog, she already got fleas from this ass come on! That pisses me off, I wouldnt have even brought Embrosia over here in the first place if I'd known the dogs here still had fleas, ah well.

    Well this is enough ranting for me now ladies and gents I'm off to do god only knows, take care all, toodles!

    Current Mood: content
    11:27 pm
    I met one already
    Well, the day was pretty good today, night time sucked kinda, but we'll get into that later.

    Good news for me, I met a juggalo here in Beloit already. Yeah that's right, how fresh is that? It was like this, I was outside a gas station with Robby as he was pumping gas (well, diesel anyway), talking with him in my sauve Psychopathic leather jacket. When someone harks from behind me, "I WANT YOUR COAT!" I look around, there's this ninja standing outside his car, door still opened, one ice blue contact in his right eye, the other eye i cant tell from where im standing, blonde hair back in a hat. I'm all smiley as he starts trying to figure out how much money he has to buy my coat, never did say how much but the gear wasnt up for sale anyway. I'm all giddy thinkin' JUGGALO! Cuz I love me some juggalos, and its cool to already know there's some here. Well I start talking with him and his homie, his lady was cool enough to go in and pay for the gas after he was done pumping. Anymahoo, we were talking about the hells pit tour, and the ninja has been to like three of the shoes, jealous? a tad but not too much, I got to see it myself after all. but we had a couple of laughs and the poor juggalo was freezing his nuts off, i offered to let him wear the jacket until he got back in the car, he declined which is fine. I didnt think he would try stealin the shit anyway, not just cuz he's a juggalo either, but like, robby could kick his ass lol nah but he was cool. never caught his name though but hopefully ill see him around again. He gave me his website shit but juggalo if u read this, i already forgot, ill look for it in my head though. So yeah, that was the highlight of my day *grins*

    Aside from that the day was still good, Robby and I were both feeling better than yesterday, even though my poor baby is feeling assed out from a cold. We had Arby's. Mmmmm jalapeno bites, good shit. We didn't go to sleep until 2:30 and we woke up at 8:30? I think around then.

    Still things were okay, until after Robby left for work and I'm still here. Pat and Mom started feuding over some dumb shit, Ma wanted to finish her quilting and that drunken loser husband guy of hers wanted her to turn everything off so he can go to sleep. Well the fucker is so drunk he can't even PRONOUNCE drunk, so he he would have been asleep in five minutes tops, but no, he starts fighting. And they bitch and each one of them us calling the other selfish. Pat called Mom a cunt which is way outta line, but I didn't get into this one. She calls him a drunked dick and he thought she called him a bastard......!!!! How the fuck do u get that? DAMN man, what the fuck? He's just touchy about that because he's adopted and his parents didnt want him. Go figure. They have to be some of the smartest people out there, to get rid of him know what I'm saying. You might think that's cruel but you havent met the guy all right? And he was raised by two damn good peopleand still can't appreciate that. So fuck him, that's what I say. This thing was so drunk tonight he took my dog out twice and tried to a third time AFTER he had watched me take her out before any of this. She's not his dog, she already got fleas from this ass come on! That pisses me off, I wouldnt have even brought Embrosia over here in the first place if I'd known the dogs here still had fleas, ah well.

    Well this is enough ranting for me now ladies and gents I'm off to do god only knows, take care all, toodles!

    Current Mood: content
    Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
    11:10 pm
    new home and JUGGALOS!
    well, I'm almost in my new home. Right now Robby and I are staying with his parents until the extra shit at our place is gone and done with. I'll feel a lot better when the bitch above us is totally gone, Candy; she has $7000 in warrants for her ass which i think is funny but at the same time worries me, even though its just for bad checks. but why would the checks be bad. I'll give you a hint.....DRUGS! Oops, well still, she's a drug addict and an idiot, and she needs to get put in jail, badly. Maybe she should even be hit with something heavy and blunt.....or that could just be me.

    OH, I don't think I've written about this yet. Juggalos, juggalettes, I was in Minneapolis for the Hell's Pit concert. Boo-FUCKIN-ya! I loved it, even though I had to stand behind the DJ booth to see a damn thing since I'm a short chick. I only got a little faygo on me, I wanted to be soaked with it, but again, it's okay. Robby and I saw one ninja get hit in the face with a half full 2 liter of faygo, he covered his mouth and bent over, came back up with the 2 liter and started drinking from it, i was jealous, I know its stupid, but I was. If for some reason that juggalo happens across this, I love you man, that was fresh. I almost got hit with one, but the DJ booth had glass or plastic or some shit around it which got in the way, I was a little sad over that, what better reason to get a migraine than to hae gotten hit in the face by a faygo bottle thrown by Violent J himself? *sigh* maybe next time. I'm just glad I don't have to be the one to clean the Quest after that. I saw one juggalo there I knew, Matt, he went to school with me for awhile and he is down. a shame I had to leave so quickly. But I'll meet other juggalos. My friend Jim is 41 years old and still listens to ICP. That's some shit isnt it? Jim is a good guy.

    But for now I am off to go check on my poor kitty, she hasnt been likin' the move at all. Any juggalos who read this, hit me up, toodles!

    Current Mood: nervous
    Thursday, November 25th, 2004
    8:21 am
    memories
    So I pack all of my things, and I'm crying for no reason, pretty sad don't you think? My tears have nothing to do with not wanting to leave this place, maybe the people...some of them anyway. More so, the tears are from things long past, I found the notebooks Beth and I kept through two years of high school. We used to write every single nickname we gave eachother on our arms during freshman year. In biology during sophomore year we would punch eachothers arms the whole time we took notes, neither of us ever said "uncle" Then a picture of a butterfly Cristi made me the time she came over here first time. I kept it because she told me to lol I forgot until I found it in there. I introduced her to spaceballs that day...we watched it twice in a row. We MEMORIZED the "now, now" part....thats right. The pictures from when I was in the cities, with Jen and Andrew. I was Andrew's body guard through middle school ya know. Glenn's too. Oh, yeah, I'm that cool lol. I know most of you don't know any of these people but they've taken up my life over the years, and I miss the ones I haven't talked to in so long. I should call and see if Andrew went home for thanksgiving, I don't wanna lose touch with him, he probly forgot about me though, but I just can't resist a chance to remember what was, even if andrew and I werent like DEEPLY close, point is, girls are there for the emotions, andrew was there for the manly, more stupid me. we did some dumb shit, he was fast playing bloody knuckles, but he just couldnt make my knuckles hurt like i could when i got that one hit on his hahahaha, i know im a fuckin' loser, but I miss those times, I don't miss school, but i miss him and sarah and jen and mandy rothier, yeah she would remember me if we met again, but otherwise im just a memory *sigh* ah, well I guess this is a sign of a true pessismist, on THANKSgiving im thinking of all my regrets. go figure....toodles.
    Monday, November 22nd, 2004
    4:21 pm
    whoa...
    Hey all! It's been awhile I know, sorry or some shit...but our comp had to be reformatted and then the cable modem wouldnt work and that didnt get taken care of like it should have and it pissed me off, but I'm just peachy right now thanks.

    Well, I'm 1 week away from leaving Hinckley, I've gotta say, I don't feel much remorse for this place at all. I wont miss much of anything about it. My friends? I only have one that will be still at home when I leave, and she doesnt live in hinckley, nor will she be staying there much longer. My family? I'll be better off without being close to them, I love them, they annoy me though, a lot. My pets are coming with me, so I can't miss them, and I'll be there with Robby, and I love him. Plus it's not like I don't have friends out there already. Jim and Belinda need me, they need grown up time, because of Jim's son Daniel (the spoiled little fuck). And there's Bill, we love Bill.

    I've had good news though, hopefully, I'll get to see Jen again before I leave, yay! Jen and I were best friends for years, but when I moved up here we drifted, I havent seen her for almost 2 years. Next time I come out I'll have to try and see her again. I miss her a lot, she was like my salvation from kindergarten until 7th or 8th grade.

    Also on the bright side, I'm going to ICP!! *pees* OMG I'm still so excited for that, I get to see J and Shaggy live, and I know its sounds dumb, but I've never been able to before, I'm always so damn broke, but Robby is taking me the night before I move its practically orgasmic! boo-fuckin-ya! but thats all for now, I'm tired and I got a mary kay think tonight, toodles!

    Current Mood: tired
    Sunday, November 7th, 2004
    3:46 am
    The Little Things
    You know, for the most part, it's the little things that just make a difference enough in my life that I can get through a day unscathed by my own dreary emotions. A lot of little things can get me upset, but, a lot of little things can make me happy too.
    I'll explain.

    My day yesterday started out well. Why? I was watching television, put on Comedy Central, and Madtv was on Normally, I'm not excited over Madtv. But today....the episode with The Insane Clown Posse appearing in it. They went on, told a character his hair looked like pubes, pretended they could sing (they don't have the actual SINGING part down, just rap...woowoo) and the whole time, I just grin ear to ear. It made it worthwhile for me to have been up as early as I was; despite the fact I have that episode recorded. I don't care how pathetic you take me for dammit, it's nice to be entertained easily, I don't always have the ability where I live for complex entertainment!

    Still, my day stayed good. I got my free gift from Dawn, my Mary Kay lady. Yeah, I know, I didn't think I would ever buy it either, but they take a lot of time to decide what my fat ass needs in makeup, so people don't pay attention to the fact that I have a fat ass. Plus the person I got Avon from, has either stopped selling, or is just too hard to get a hold of. Anyway, the free gift was really nice, little sample spray bottles of aroma therapy scents, and somehow, I was entertained by the little box it came in. You are all no doubt charmed by my intellect and prestiege.

    And still, I got to talk to Rachel for hours. We've decided that most of the things we do when we hang out nobody else will understand. "question: you with the black eyebrows!" hahahaha....So most of the time we wont explain it to others, half of it we aren't quite sure about. Poor Rachel, her rooster, Lily, pooped on her bed after she had just gotten everything washed. One of their cats decided that was the perfect place to have her kittens.

    So yeah, it was a good day, maybe tomorrow will be good too, but I doubt it...Told ya I was a pessimist :)

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Lunatic to Love~ Presidents of the United States of America
    3:46 am
    The Little Things
    You know, for the most part, it's the little things that just make a difference enough in my life that I can get through a day unscathed by my own dreary emotions. A lot of little things can get me upset, but, a lot of little things can make me happy too.
    I'll explain.

    My day yesterday started out well. Why? I was watching television, put on Comedy Central, and Madtv was on Normally, I'm not excited over Madtv. But today....the episode with The Insane Clown Posse appearing in it. They went on, told a character his hair looked like pubes, pretended they could sing (they don't have the actual SINGING part down, just rap...woowoo) and the whole time, I just grin ear to ear. It made it worthwhile for me to have been up as early as I was; despite the fact I have that episode recorded. I don't care how pathetic you take me for dammit, it's nice to be entertained easily, I don't always have the ability where I live for complex entertainment!

    Still, my day stayed good. I got my free gift from Dawn, my Mary Kay lady. Yeah, I know, I didn't think I would ever buy it either, but they take a lot of time to decide what my fat ass needs in makeup, so people don't pay attention to the fact that I have a fat ass. Plus the person I got Avon from, has either stopped selling, or is just too hard to get a hold of. Anyway, the free gift was really nice, little sample spray bottles of aroma therapy scents, and somehow, I was entertained by the little box it came in. You are all no doubt charmed by my intellect and prestiege.

    And still, I got to talk to Rachel for hours. We've decided that most of the things we do when we hang out nobody else will understand. "question: you with the black eyebrows!" hahahaha....So most of the time we wont explain it to others, half of it we aren't quite sure about. Poor Rachel, her rooster, Lily, pooped on her bed after she had just gotten everything washed. One of their cats decided that was the perfect place to have her kittens.

    So yeah, it was a good day, maybe tomorrow will be good too, but I doubt it...Told ya I was a pessimist :)

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Lunatic to Love~ Presidents of the United States of America
    Friday, November 5th, 2004
    7:21 am
    Yawn
    *sigh* I'm tired....I shouldn't be, I've slept a lot, but thats partly from getting a shot for my head. That shit sucks, ya know it? Like I said, I put things on hold a lot, my head is one of those things. I wish it wasn't that way, but I can't really do much about my head
    believe me I've tried.

    So I'm hoping to go to the ICP Hells Pit concert over Thanksgiving, I somehow have doubts that I'll get to, even with Robby being here, it takes money to go to one of those things remember. Having to get suff for the house, that will take a lot of the extra. On top of that Robby made plans to go to some dinner that's going to be fairly expensive and he wants to save up for that, tells me AFTER he made the arrangements, and now on top of that I have to get some gender specific present that costs about 10 bucks for going with. Dammit this is BS, I hate the whole gift exchange between myself and people I don't even know FUCK. Why does he do this? It's cool he wants to go but couldn't he have at least asked me about it? I don't know what chicks like. Well....bubble bath right? And lotion? That kind of shit right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a chick, but I, I don't do a lot of the chick stuff. I don't buy candles for the scent, in fact I prefer un-scented. I don't like lotion, the only lotion I use, it to keep my face from falling off in the pile of skin that's to dryed out it looks like corn flakes. I don't do my hair to the last detail, ya know what goes into my hair? Water and a brush THAT'S IT Last time I used hairspray was more than 2 years ago, and don't think I liked it. I do enjoy animals, as a lot of girls do, but not the same kind as you'd expect from a girl. No small dogs, no no no no no all right? I have a 125 pound st. bernard and I was honestly hoping for her to get bigger than that, but this way she'll stay healthier. I dunno, I guess I can be "girly" I do enjoy jewlery, most of what I have is kinda manly though, except my rings, excluding the class ring. I don't know. But the point is, I don't know what to get a chick for 10 bucks; chances are I'll be getting something I don't like, so why should I care? Ha, I just worked that problem out while writing it to you.

    Sorry for rambling on like this, and any female who reads this, I'm not trying to offend anybody. I know there are girls who don't like lotion and smelly things, or small dogs, etc, etc. I'm speaking out of the girl stereotype, deal with it :-p

    Current Mood: hot
    Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
    2:06 am
    things are lookin' up...for now
    Weeee! Ah, the week has gone well thus far, has it not? No migraines, no doctors until thursday, and I've had social interaction! HA! Not like I never do, it's just, people I haven't seen for awhile, you know; people I WANT to associate with *grins*

    Rachel finally came over; evidently last time her brother had left band before she came to pick him up, and he was out fucking some little bitch as he was walking down the street. I sound so sensitive! Anymahoo, she called and said she was going to come over after work, and joy we did have. She stayed two nights here, and we just made no sense from 2 in the morning until 8 in the morning, two nights in a row. Seriously, I'm a fuckin' dork, and I love it. We listened to Da Vinci's Notebook (with classics like Internet Porn and Enormous Penis) and took pictures of ourselves being dumb and and and we started chucking hersheys kisses at eachother, nobody else understands it like we do I guess. The next night we played with my ICP action figures a little bit. We took more pictures, playing with my swords and knives, just modeling them, oh yeah, and my handcuffs, we used those too!....Told ya I'm a dork.

    Sadly, sweet little Rachel had to leave today. But.....NELLIE GOT HER PHONE HOOKED UP! YES! We talked for like two hours about people with disease riddled urine, fat babies, and not getting laid. And she gave me her sales pitch!....she's a telemarketer. And the bitch gets dental too! I think that's awesome; one day, I want dental. I'm glad she's okay right now. Depressed from some stuff I wont get into right now, maybe, but I know she'll be okay because she's got people like me (oh, god she's doomed). But seriously, Nellie is a survivor, she keeps going no matter what. She puts her life on hold for nothing ya know?

    I wish I were more like that sometimes. Stress gets to me way to easy; even after having a good day today I'm still stressed thinking I wont have money for everything I want to do this month. I don't have that power, that sense that everything is going to be resolved in the end. I say maybe I'll be less stressed when I'm dead, and I'm not in a rush to have that happen, it's too stressful *sigh* see? I'm doing it again. But for now, I'm off, to distract myself in some semi-creative way. Toodles!

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Aint Yo' Bidness~ Insane Clown Posse
    Saturday, October 30th, 2004
    4:55 am
    same old same old
    Okay, anybody reading this, u better ask me later if I packed because after this I'm going down to my room to fuckin' pack! I gotta get that shit done and the sooner the better ya know? It's killin' me.

    I'm still lonely. I should call Rachel, maybe try to call Nellie again sometime. Maybe her phone got hooked up. I wanna know how she is now, I heard some shit happened with her and her ex, he turned into a big fat pric I guess. And he has my fuckin' book! He better have remembered it when he moved out of his old house, cuz dammit, its a damn good book.

    No, nothing big happening. I feel like I'm losing touch with a lot you know? I don't get as into things as I used to. I mean, in high school I was big time speech geek, loved it, for two years all I wanted was speech. My junior year, I got bad writers block, and I just didnt have my skill back my senior year. I was the fuckin' speech captain all right? I was good. And writing in general, it just hasn't been the same for me, writing doesnt seem as fun anymore. I have all these ideas in my head but sometimes they just don't come out right on paper. Even with ICP, don't get me wrong I'm still down but I just haven't gone to the old sites, I haven't been on top of all the latest news. I was the local authority. And my friends, God before the even moved it was like, so many of us changed so much. First friend I made up here, Beth; fuck, forget about it. She wants to promise things she has no intention of sticking to, hang out with a more popular types, get into this pop punk groove that everybody is rydin'. She doesn't seem to wanna talk to me anymore, so fine whatever. I've left a couple of friends behind for being stupid, that was a long time ago though so I wont go into that.

    I know things are going to get better at some point, maybe I wont be into all the same stuff, but it will still be better. I'm going to get through this to see brighter days (actually to tell you the truth I don't care for sunlight in the least it hurts my head). It will just take time. I know it will get worse again too, don't think I've gotten optimistic now, cuz if you know me, you know I'm way to negative heh. Toodles

    Current Mood: awake
    Current Music: It's Still Rock & Roll To Me~ Billy Joel
    Thursday, October 28th, 2004
    12:11 am
    Ho-hum
    Yes, Hinckley still sucks ass. My friend Rachel was supposed to stop over after band, she graduated already yes, but she is still quite content to help out with band until she goes off to college. With any luck though I'll be gone before she is. Anyway, she didnt show up, didnt call. I bet I'm starting to sound like a big smelly loser to you by now huh? Well, I'll have you know I just showered, I couldn't possibly smell!....wow, that proves it right there.

    This isn't the first time Rachel has "stood me up" so to speak, it usually has something to do with her gay fat fuck of a mother, I wish I knew how that woman could still be breathing; maybe her body has learned to live off the cholesterol flowing through her veins. I know I've got some chunk on me but damn, this woman's knees should be buckling under pressure. You could not drink her pretty okay? lol but seriously I don't know how she keeps such a strangle hold on poor Rachel.

    You know what I feel like, with this whole thing? I feel like that freshmen girl in the movies, who had an infatuation with Mr. Quarterback jackass and just followed him around pining all the time, so then he asks her if she wants to go to a movie with him sometime and she gets all fuckin' gushy and says yes, then he tells her where to meet him and never shows up and the next day at school everybody is laughing at her including him etc, etc. only rachel hasnt a penis, neither of us are freshmen, nobody is going to make fun of me, and i dont hear myself crying. I been talking about this too much already, I'm off. toodles.

    Current Mood: crushed
    Monday, October 25th, 2004
    11:13 pm
    Life sucks and I have to pack
    Well, since last I wrote, I've gotten another migraine. Luckily, my pills have worked for this one. But my head isn't buggin' me except that I'm stressin' over things again. See, I have anxiety problems so things that shouldn't be a big deal, sometimes feel like it to me. That's the short way of describing it. Anyway, the more headaches I get, the more I worry about being able to get all my packing done, so my head can start hurting all over again, and when its all stress, I need to avoid taking anything. I'm just bothered right now because I can't see Robby. Somebody saying it will be okay over the phone doesn't quite cut the mustard ya know? I just need to get to work on packing I know. It just seems way harder to me right now then it ever should. Right now, I should just get some sleep. I've only slept like 2 hours in the past 28 hours. Just one more month, I just have to remind myself of that before I start crying. *sigh* wish me luck. Toodles.

    Current Mood: stressed
    Current Music: Blue Colar TV song
    Sunday, October 24th, 2004
    4:09 am
    Fuckin' right Doggy
    Well, I decided to go into the hospital. They gave me morphine/vistorol for my head and now I feel pretty damn good but tired and some shit. But thats not even the coolest thing that happened.

    THERE WERE BLACK PEOPLE IN HINCKLEY! I know that sounds racist to say that but I'm saying it because it was so fucking awesome to see somebody black here, there aren't many ya know trust me. I saw them when I went to the Little Store for a candy bar. But even cooler, one of them hit on me! It's not like I'm gaga for this guy by any means but for some reason it's just uber cool that he hit on me....maybe I'm the only one who gets excited about this kind of thing. I just smiled back at him.

    But yeah...now I'm just going to finish my candy bar then wait for my call from Robby....then go to bed. Toodles!

    Current Mood: crazy
    Current Music: Background music from Tom&Jerry
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