Goldie's Blurty

Don't waste this chance with your smile
Been doing alot of thinking this week, (especially after what happened yesterday). In the grand scheme of things, (if you compare this situation to the characters in my fave movie, "The Notebook"), D is like Noah and J is like Lon. I madly wanna be w/D, but it's so complicated. Although I care for J a great deal, (and he is gorgeous as well!), I really think I would rather see what could happen between D and I if we were given the chance. My friends all tell me to just have fun. I am having fun...with D!!! I know there's nothing wrong w/dating a few different guys, but what if one gets attatched to me, or what if I get attatched to one? I'm already pretty attatched to D, but he hasn't been around very much. I haven't seen him in over a week and haven't talked to him since Wednesday. He said he wants to go out tonight, but I haven't heard from him. If he calls, fine, but if I don't hear from him by a certain time, maybe I'll call J. I wish I knew what was going on in D's head. My friends tell me that if down the road D wants to be exclusive, then I can break it off w/J, but I don't function like that.

What if...
I was casually dating both of them. What if D said he wanted to be exclusive, but I had become more attatched to J in that amount of time? Or, what if J got really attatched to me and then D and I decided to be exclusive. I wouldn't wanna hurt J!

Damnit. I know "girls my age" are suppose to date a few boys at once, but I wasn't raised like that! Aside from that fact, I've never had any desire to. Going into this I was working on something w/D. I thought, 'Maybe it'll turn into something serious, or maybe not". Either way, I was willing to just have fun w/D for this time. I never wanted to bring J, (or B...as my friends are also now telling me to bring in), into the mix. If I'm gonna casually date or exclusively date a guy, it's always been my way to date one! D or J? I really don't think anything would happen w/me and B, but D and J are so cute and have been teases for SO f'ing long. Now they both are asking me out. techincally J was around first, but D has showed more interest up until now. Now J is taking the reigns. I guess they're both equal about now. And me? Well, now I'm just so confused that I can't even see straight! Haha.

"Just like a willow, we would cry an ocean if we lost true love and sweet devotion. Your lips excite me. Let your arms invite me. For who knows when we'll meet again this way. It's now or never. Come hold me tight. Kiss me my darling. Be mine tonight. Tomorrow will be too late. It's now or never. My love won't wait" - Elvis Presley

Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: Elvis Presley - "It's Now Or Never"