Goldie's Blurty

Maybe it's best you leave me alone
I am lost and confused. Ok, maybe it's not that dramatic, but it's not been fun. I am committed to someone on my own accord. He is not seeing anyone else and neither am I. It hasn't been discussed exactly what our situation is. And b/c of his age, he's not about to take a flashback to high school and ask me if I wanna be his "girlfriend". We're just kind of together and that's enough. BUT, it's been rocky. I am happy but we're so busy. I think it'll calm down a bit once he's in his new place, but now it's so hard. I am dying to be w/him...hell, I'd just like to see him! I haven't seen him in a week! One week I'll see him 2 or 3 times and for the next couple of weeks I'll see him (maybe) once.

Now some people are telling me that there's nothing wrong w/casually dating other people. True. I am really hooked on this one guy, though. I chose him so many months ago and now that we are together I am just ecstatic knowing that at the end of his day he calls me, he dates me, he holds me. It's so far from where we've been. It's something I have been waiting for so long to have. As times goes on, though, the disappointments add up. Do I stick to the guy I chose? Do I talk to him about how I'm feeling even if I don't think that we're "official"? Or do I see if anything happens w/my hot guy friend that my other friends say it wouldn't be so bad to hit on? *sigh* In my heart I just wanna be w/the one I chose.

"I can't explain what you can't explain. You're finding things that you didn't know. I look at you with such disdain. The walls start breathing. My minds unweaving. Maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted. On this evening I give the final blow" - The All American Rejects

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: The All American Rejects - "It Ends Tonight"