Goldie's Blurty

Why can't the past just die?
In a very odd mood tonight. This morning I had more dreams about him. No, not my angel of music. Of the one who abandoned me. I had dreams about him almost every night I was up north, but when I got back home they stopped, so, I figured they were over. Nope. Had another one. But in this one I got him back. He begged for my forgiveness, told me how he should never have left me, and that he never would again. He told me that he didn't want anyone else and that he wanted to marry me. Then my alarm went off. I desperately tried to go back to sleep and recapture him. Recapture the feeling that I had w/him around me. But it was gone. Perhaps, never to be found again. Now I want a dream catcher for over my bed. Or some kind of cure. There's got to be something on a Wiccan website or something. B/c cutting him out of my head and my heart probably wouldn't be the best idea.

Life is moving on rather well right now. I hope it keeps up. Mom and I went to see Star Wars tonight. (amazing!!!) On the way home I checked my phone and David had called. He's going to Chicago this week. I don't know why or when he'll be back. Damn. All will be realized when he gets home. This is the truth b/c Tanya foresees it. Ms. Tanya, make it so. Sorry, that was Star TREK not Star WARS. As for my lyrics below, this song is dedicated to my father always, (especially since Father's Day is a week from today. damnit), but some of the lyrics apply to the evil one of my past. Night.

"Too many years fighting back tears. Why can't the past just die? Wishing you were somehow here again. Knowing we must say goodbye. Try to forgive. Teach me to live. Give me the strength to try" - The Phantom of the Opera

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: The Phantom of the Opera-"Wishing you were somehow here again"