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Will you be my dirty little secret? [09 Oct 2005|01:24am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | All American Rejects - "Dirty Little Secret" ] What a crazy week this has been! Work is going well. I think I'll be on the phone some this week. I think I'm going to bid for the 2:30-11 shift. The hours are better for me and I'll get a 5% raise for working it. Thursday night I watched "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". It was amazing. Absolutely amazing! Friday night I went out w/Matt, Tom, and Jeff. We went to Winners for drinks and appetizers and then we went to Planet 9 Ball and played pool. Matt was the sober driver of the evening. Poor guy. He had to put up w/us three drunkerds. I drank way too much! Matt and Tom helped me to the door last night and then I crawled up two flights of stairs to go to bed. Ugh. I think we took some pics, but I have no idea what they are of. Haha. It'll be interesting to get them developed. Oh, Matt broke his phone today taking a picture for me. I left my camera in his car and he was on the Bayside on his way home from worky and was trying to take a pic and his phone went out the window and smashed into a million and one pieces. I am getting a new phone in a few days. I applied for a new plan w/Cingular, (I needed more minutes), and you get a new phone for free. That's cool b/c the one I have now is crap! A bunch of people called today to check on me. Matt, Billy, Ricky, Lana, and Tanya. I'm fine y'all. Really. I appreciate all the love, support, and advice I have gotten from everyone lately. I love you all. I would've gone nuts if y'all hadn't been there. I may still go to the therapist at work to talk about my dad. I think it could help. Plus, the first 5 visits are free. Then I think my PCSO insurance kicks in. Anyway, here's a look at my social calendar: Sunday: Breakfast w/mom, brother, sister (in law), and niece. Then time w/Matt, Tom, & Jeff. Tuesday: Buying "Kingdom of Heaven". This weekend: Spending time w/Sue. Monday (17): My buddy John is gonna visit me at work and take me out to lunch. Tuesday (18): Buying the new Ashlee Simspon CD!!!!! Thursday (20): Going to a Neil Diamond concert w/Mom. Saturday (22): Going to Halloween Horror Nights w/Matt, Tom, & Jeff. Tuesday (1): Buying The Blink 182 Greatest Hits CD!!!! That reminds me. I bought the new Liz Phair CD, (so good!), and the new Fiona Apple CD. I don't know if I like the Fiona Apple CD or not. I like the first song, but I'm not sure about the rest yet. Funny, I buy two new CDs and all I've been listening to is The Killers "Hot Fuss" and All American Rejects "Move On". Anywho, I better get going. I must sleep tonight since I have to get up early. See ya! "Who has to know the way she feels inside? Those thoughts I can't deny. These sleeping dogs won't lie. And all I've tried to hide. It's eating me apart. Trace this line back. I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret" - All American Rejects 16 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

Dance Chicago [01 Oct 2005|09:59pm] [ mood | predatory ] [ music | TheSix Merry Murderesses - "Cell Block Tango" ] At home tonight. Apparently Jeff was trying to take advantage of Matty and slipped him a date rape drug and he got really sick. Haha. Kidding, Jeff! We all know that Matt did it willingly. ;) So, we didn't go out tonight. Just got done watching "Chicago". Mom had never seen it before. That's such an awesome movie. Gotta go to Target tomorrow and get some new clothes. I need some for work. It feels so weird to be wearing jeans shorts and a baby tee today. I'm so use to dress clothes and heels after only a week! I did buy some cute shoes today at Payless. $7...kik ass. Hey, I'm poor right now, what can I say? Found out that if I work evenings I get a 5% up on my pay. The next bid is in January, so I'll probably bid for the 2:30-11pm shift. I haven't seen Wynter this week, but she is doing good. She had her first doc's appointment on Thursday. Got her very first shot! Poor baby. Alanta and Wayne are doing good. Lana has a My Space profile now! Yeah! Oh, and I found Brian via public records. I have access to all that kind of stuff at work and I looked up a bunch of people on Friday after Judy, (the woman I sat w/on Friday), @ 3:30. So, I'll probably be writing him soon! Yay. I'm kinda pissed at a few people, but there's no reason to talk about that now. Hopefully they'll come around. If not...well.....muhahaha PS- The new Ashlee Simpson CD is out 10/18! I can't f'ing wait!!!!!!!!!!!! "He had it coming. He had it coming. He took a flower in its prime. And then he used it. And he abused it. It was a murder, but not a crime!" - The Six Merry Murderesses (Chicago) Listen To The Music Of The Night

Exhausted but elated [26 Sep 2005|07:35pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Ashlee Simpson - "Boyfriend" ] I've said it before and I'll say it again...I am truly blessed! New job, new niece, amazing boy/f. *sigh* Well, my sweet niece came early. Wynter Adelyn was born on Saturday, September 24, 2005. She weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long. I have pictures online. If you want the link to all of them, comment on here and let me know! I started my new job today. I like it so far. Did a lot of insurance and such this morning, but this afternoon I was w/a lady named Judy and I listened in on her calls and saw how the program worked, etc. I'll probably work more on the program tomorrow. I got my badge, extension number, e-mail, and all that jazz today too. I was SO nervous and Joe knew it, (he came over last night), and he told me that every time I felt nervous to think of him. So, I basically thought about him all day! Haha. I have my own desk, so I'm sure I'll have a pic of him on my desk before the end of the week. I also have my very own set of headphones and keyboard that I have to lug back and forth from work everyday! Geez! I am so tired! Everyone was at the hospital all weekend. Oh, and Friday night I went out w/Matty, Jeff, and Tom. Well, we proceeded to get pretty damn drunk. I had about 4 hrs sleep and woke up early on Saturday to go to breakfast w/Jeryl. Once we were at breakfast my mom called to tell me my sister was on her way to the hospital, so after breakfast I went and picked up my mom and we went to the hospital. I sobered up before the baby was born though. Haha! "Hey Wynter, meet your drunk Aunt Tiffani!" Ugh. Poor girl. Ok, I better get. I wanna relax before Joe gets here. Bye! "Hey, how long till the music drowns you out? Don't put words up in my mouth. I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on. Cause you really got it wrong. I didn't steal your boyfriend" - Ashlee Simpson 4 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

BABY TIME!!!! [24 Sep 2005|12:09pm] My sis went in to labor a bit ago! Off to Tampa to become an aunt! BYE! Listen To The Music Of The Night

No rest for the weary [15 Sep 2005|04:52am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Liz Phair - "Favorite" ] I have no idea how I am still awake! And I'm not tired! Maybe it's b/c yesterday was my last day at Skinz!!! It was tough to leave. It didn't hit me till John came in the afternoon, (he's our Fed Ex guy and my friend). I'd say Tanya was the most upset. Then Josh, and then Susanne. Before Paul left, (the owner), he shook my hand and said, "Tiffani, it's been a pleasure". Then he grinned and said, "Oh, who am I kidding? Come here!". Then he grabs me and hugs me. It felt weird to hear Josh and Paul make such a big deal over it. They never acted like they cared for the last 2 years that I've worked there! It's ok though b/c I told Tanya I'd stop by and see her sometime next week. And on Thursday, (not today), her and Kerri are gonna go out to dinner w/Joe and I. So, it's not like I'm gone for good! Tuesday night Joe and I met Lana, Chris, and Deimo (sp) at The Dunedin Brewery. We had lots of fun. No pictures though. Boo. This weekend some people are going out to bowl, so we're gonna go too. There should be pictures ASAP from then, (and I took pics during my last day @ Skinz). Saturday- Bowling and spending the night at Joe's. Sunday- Whatever Joe and I decide. (*wink wink*) Tuesday & Wednesday- Lana here. Somrtime next week- Lunch @ Joe's work. Yeah, he wants me to meet his coworkers. Ugh. I don't do good around new people. He also wants me to go to his niece's bday. Then I have to meet family! AND he said his mom may not be back in town by then! That sux b/c she's the only one I remember! Ah well, if I'm gonna be the one keeping the Egger name alive, I guess I have to meet all of them! I MUST try to sleep now! "Lost you once you were hard to find. Got you back you didn't live like mine. Thought we were falling apart but you make me feel so pretty. Like you did, like you did. Like before, like before. Like we will, like we will...Be doin' it once more" - Liz Phair Listen To The Music Of The Night

How did I get so lucky? [12 Sep 2005|12:57am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Shania Twain - "Forever and For Always" ] **(Caution: This entry may get mushy!!!)** Wow. The last week or so has been f'ing incredible. It's like we've been together forever. In a way, I guess we have. Joe says he talks to everyone at work about me and that his family and friends think we're amazing together. One of his friends/coworker said that she was happy to hear that he got back together w/his high school sweetheart. I never really thought about it that way b/c we were kinda off and on in high school, but I guess it fits. We just tell people, "Yeah, we've been off and on for 12 years". I am so blessed. All we do all day is kiss and tell each other how much we love the other one and why. I love him so completely, so freely, so easily. It just amazes me sometimes. There are no expectations. No games. No arguing. Just love, respect, fun, understanding, great communication, and great...well....*blush* It seems fast I know, but it isn't. Joe said it best tonight, "Nobody will like what we do. They'll say it's too fast, but they don't understand". It's true, but that's ok. All people need to understand is that we're madly in love. ALSO, I am going to get certified and start scuba diving w/my man! He started teaching me about it the other day. He still has his book and DVD from when he got certified, so he's tutoring me. Right now I am at 1 Atmosphere. Oh yeah! There's a special going on at the place he got certified. It's a special price for the months of October, November, and December! B/c Joe is friends w/the guys there he's allowed to take the class w/me! Already certified as a Class 2 Diver and going back through the class just to help me. I love him! I just couldn't do it w/another person, I'd be too scared. This way, he can be my dive buddy and help me study for my test. There's 2 reasons for this...1) I've always wanted to scuba dive AND 2) We're going to stay at the underwater hotel in KEY LARGO, (my favorite!), next year. There's a special running next year for their 20th anniversary. They also do weddings in the hotel! Did Joe and I consider taking that plunge too?! Maybe I'll leave that up to y'all to decide. "In your eyes I can still see the look of the one who really loves me. The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me. I can still see love for me in your eyes. And there ain't no way I'm letting you go now" - Shania Twain Listen To The Music Of The Night

He really did take my heavy heart and make it light [09 Sep 2005|02:06am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | The Monkees - "Papa Gene's Blues" ] So, did you ever wonder to yourself, "Self!...How did those two crazy kids end up together?!". Well, if you wanna know about the story of Joe and Tiffani, read on. Oh!, and for those of you who know "Ali and Noah"...they've got nothing on Joe and I! Our story should be a movie! Joe and I met in 6th grade, (we were 11 or 12), in Mrs. Klein's chorus class. As soon as I saw him I just thought "Wow!"...and this was at 11 years old! He was my first date ever! We went to the Fall Festival at Our Lady of Lourdes. (*We're actually going to go this year too b/c it's where our life together first began*) His mom brought him over to my house and drove us there. I hated my outfit that I had to wear b/c everything matched and I was completely covered up! Head-to-Toe, mind you. I guess my mom knew what Joe would be thinking even then! Ha. We dated for a few weeks and whatever happened did and we broke up. We stayed friends through 9th grade. We hung out w/the same people and some of them formed a band. I was always at their practices, (b/c they were usually at Dave's house and he was my best/f), and one day after practice Joe and I got back together. We dated for THREE DAYS...and then I called him and broke up w/him. How mean is that?! I still can't believe I did that! We were kids though. 14 at the time! After that we started hanging out w/different people and didn't see each other much throughout the rest of high school. We both graduated in 1999 and went our separate ways. Separate colleges, jobs, friends, and relationships...but Joe was always in the back of my mind. I always kinda felt that he was the one that got away. Time went by and then I join a site called My Space, (the infamous!), but didn't know that you could search for people via your high school's name. When I figured that out I was off and running. People found me, I found some old friends, etc, but I didn't initially look at anyone's profile who's display name I didn’t recognize, so for a couple of weeks I never even found Joe's profile. One night when I couldn't sleep, (like tonight), I looked at everyone listed under DHS C/O '99...and there was Joe! He looked so hot and I found out that he was still local! I was so happy, but scared to scroll down to the bottom of the page...so....I scrolled down very, very slowly...and...he was single!!!! He emailed me about going out, but he didn't get my reply email. In the meantime Lana and I had planned a mini DHS reunion. I emailed Joe about it at the last minute and he decided to come. He came to my house and rode w/Lana and I in my car to the pool hall. I stared at him all night and I guess, (Lana tells me this now), I talked Lana's ear off about him. At this point I was still trying to tell myself that I didn't want to like anyone and didn't want a relationship, but there was just something about Joe. There's always been something between us. Our love and want to be together is always instant. As it was this time. I talked to a few friends, (mainly Suzy, Joe *Suzy's Joe*, and Reid), they all urged me to not push him away. Everyone gave me the "3rd time is a charm" speech. That was Monday and I was still unsure if I was willing to let my guard down and let him in my heart again. I saw him again on Tuesday at his friend's house and he is actually the one who coerced me into spilling my guts. I guess I figured I had nothing to lose, so I sat there and told both Joe and his friend how highly I thought of Joe, how he had always been in the back of my mind since we met, how much I had missed him, etc. His friend was very complimentary, saying how beautiful I was and how great it was that I had a good career and was easy to get along with. At one point he told Joe, "Dude, this is it. This girl is the one! Marry her!". After we said our goodbye's to his friend, we decided (*out by my car*), that we wanted to be together. We sealed it w/a kiss and the rest is history. See, instant...just like always. "And now with you as inspriation I look toward a destination. Sunny bright that once before was blue. I have no more than I did before. But now I've got all that I need. For I love you and I know you love me" - The Monkees 1 Phantom| Listen To The Music Of The Night

Arufania: Aren't I too old and single-minded to have a boy/f?! [04 Sep 2005|11:47pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Relient K - "High Of 75" ] Yeah, that was me talking nonsense to Reidy tonight. Ok, maybe not NONSENSE, but I don't wanna like anyone. Damn Reid and his "third time's a charm" theory. Grrr. Now he's got me thinking, (yes, it IS that dangerous!). Friday- Went out w/some of my amazing friends to Planet 9 Ball to play pool. It was a mini DHS reunion! We had so much f’ing fun. I took a ton of pics and so did Suzy. I'll post them in my albums when I get the ones Suzy took too. After pool we went to Denny's and heard Matt's goat calls and saw Billy's Oh face. I have never laughed so hard. It was: Me, Lana, Joe, David, Matt, Billy, and Suzy, (and some of their friends/significant others). Saturday- Worked and had the worst day there thus far! (*long story*) BUT, Sally called me and we decided that I will start @ PCSO on the 26th. Rock on! Sunday- Was suppose to be @ my mom's house for my sis' bday party, but I got called into work. Imagine that! Tomorrow I am going to a picnic/BBQ at Philippe Park w/Billy and some of his friends. I invited Joe, Matt, David, Susie and her fiancee Joe. I heard back from my Joe, (or "Joey", as I usually call him), and that's it. Ah well, we'll have fun no matter who shows up! I can guareentee I'll have more pics after tomorrow! I have a week and a ½ between my last day @ Skinz and my first day at PCSO, so Lana is gonna come stay w/me during her 2 days off. There will be insane amounts of pictures and video taken during those 2 days. Oh, and for my training my hours will be 8-5 on M-F. That's wicked. In other news... I would like to thank everyone that came out on Friday! I had a blast! We should all get together again very, very soon! Thanx for being such great friends......Especially to Matt- Thanx for the hugs. You rock my sox!.......Especially to Billy - Thanx for showing us your Oh face. I will have that forever playing in my head...on repeat! PS- All guys are scum!!!...but if I really believed that then he wouldn't have been on my mind for the last two days! "And now I'm sunny with a high of 75 since you took my heavy heart and made it light. And its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive" - Relient K 1 Phantom| Listen To The Music Of The Night

I need some solace [31 Aug 2005|12:58am] I can't sleep. I have to tell Tanya and Susie "the big news" at work later today. David has come back into my life...well, he called anyway. Something bad happened tonight. My stomach is killing me. I'll never sleep tonight. Help. 2 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

My tee shirts will rock your world! [27 Aug 2005|11:30pm] [ mood | sleepy ] Friday I wore my "I'm a Keeper" shirt to work and Paul loved it. I've worn it before. Maybe he doesn't pay attention. He laughed and said, "That's classic! You always wear the coolest shirts!". My soon-to-be-ex boss is pretty cool. Watched "Sin City" last night. Hello new favorite movie! In a word? Amazing! You must watch it now! I've gotten in touch w/a lot of people from high school on My Space. I maybe hanging out w/Joe soon. He was my first date ever. We were such a cute couple in middle school. We were both 11 when we went on that date. *sigh* We went to the fall carnival at Our Lady of Lourdes. I even remember what I wore. Friday a bunch of us may go out. Lana, Matt, Billy, (maybe) Joe, and me. Anyone else is welcome. I would ask John but it's a mini c/o 1999 reunion and I doubt he'd come anyway. Boo. I am sleepy and hot. That is all. Stay tuned for a cool quiz! 1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on): Bingo Forest 2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name): Rice Cakes Merrill 3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant): Apollo Olive Garden 4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot): Oregano Tennessee 5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied): Turkey Dunedin 6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): T. Tu 7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen): Sasha Mt Dew 8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School): Kitten Dunedin 9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Cookie Killians 10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived): Noelle Keene 11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Skittles Hoppus 12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in): Titur Recha 2 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

No time to write [23 Aug 2005|09:25pm] Tomorrow is my polygraph. I can NOT be sick, so for the last 4 days I have been doing everything, (and taking every OTC medication!), to get well. Thanx to John's Vitamin C drink he gave me I am 100% better! Thursday I have my drug test and I have to get fingerprinted! PCSO here I come! Best news of the day... 1) I found Matt Sokolik from school!!!!!! 2) My bro and sis (in law) decided on a name for the baby and it IS going to be Wynter! 3) Art put glue in his eye! HAHA. Why he thought they were eye drops I don't know! Geez, I hate that kid. In other news, J is still the apple of my eye. Wish we could see one another. More later! 10 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

Welcome to the Point of No Return [18 Aug 2005|09:38pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | Phantom of the Opera - "The Point of No Return" ] I'm in quite a lovely mood right now. Today I decided to try Blockbuster Online for renting movies. Want it to feel like Xmas everyday? Sign up for it! It's twisted how much excitement I got from picking movies out and adding them to my list. I haven't seen them yet, but it's just as exciting to know that they're on your list. Haha. Napoleon Dynamite should be here on Saturday. After I send that one back I think I get "White Noise". It's so perfect for me. 1) I love getting things in the mail 2) It's a great way to keep track of movies you haven't seen or movies you use to say "Oh, I'll just rent it" No more saying, "What was that movie I wanted to see?". I have 29 movies waiting, but does anybody have any to recommend? I did rent 2 or 3 that I saw once when they were in the theaters and never again. I guess I want to watch them again to see how much I liked them the first time. Haha. I didn't take the polygraph yesterday. Sally told me it was yesterday, but scheduled it for next Wednesday. So, I took off Wednesday to do that and Thursday to take the drug test and get fingerprinted. I'll probably be starting there next month. John has vacation then so maybe we'll finally get to hang out! I think he's waiting till his situation is taken care of. Who knows. At the moment it's torture. We're dying to hang out somewhere other than my work, to talk to each other in person instead of over the phone. Not to sound like to much of a bitch, but how do you cheat on that guy?! HOW?!!!!! He is perfect. Dark hair, light blue eyes, bright white teeth, great laugh, great personality. Damn! I don't get it. She's not very bright. Maybe her loss is my gain. Who knows. The lyrics are from THE song! If you don't want to have sex after hearing this song, there is something wrong with you. Seriously. This is the hottest song ever. And yes, it does remind me of someone. (*Reid, I expect a comment to this post. We can bash our crushes on here. Haha. "Discuss"...I meant discuss*) And...b/c he does it for me....JUDE LAW NAKED!!!! "Our passion-play has now, at last, begun. Past all thought of right or wrong. One final question. How long should we two wait before we're one? When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames, at last, consume us?" - The Phantom of the Opera 8 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

Where my boys at?! [15 Aug 2005|09:52pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Relient K - "My Girl's Ex Boyfriend" ] I've got a lot of things on my mind. My life is changing rather quickly and I am grabbing at the things and the people from my past. I got the best news ever on Friday! I got the job @ PCSO. I am officially an ARMS Specialist. I am taking my polygraph on Wednesday and then I have to take my drug test and get fingerprinted. I wish my dad was still here to see my accomplishments. Now, I need to get a new place to live. Now, do I go for a house or an apartment? People are talking to me about a house, but I don't know what I really want. I have always said that I wanted an apartment, but right now mortgage payments and rent are so close in price you might as well get a house! Plus, I am working all day and then coming home and working on the place I live in now so I can move. Plus, last night I had 2 dreams about David. Nothing sexual, he was just in the dreams and we were hanging out in the dream. Now I miss him. I called and left a message out of the blue. Yeah, he didn't call me back. It hurts. I thought we were friends and I can't imagine what happened. 2nd, I have a picture that was a favorite of mine and Anthony's, (we both own it), and every time I see it I think of him. I miss him desperately. Best friends for 6 years and then he gets a new girl/f and bails. I emailed him 4 or 5 months ago. He never wrote back. I'd give anything to hug him just once. 3rd, John, he's busy and has a lot going on in his "relationship" so we usually only see each other at work for a few minutes. I wish we could make time to hang out more. He's great. I guess I am just not feeling loved. I miss my guys! Two of them are being f'ing assholes for no reason. They screwed me over and when I try to get a hold of them and say "Hey, let's work through this", they hide. Whoever said older men are mature they were f'cked in the head!!! All these men are over 40 and they act like 5 year olds. Of course, I LOVE older guys and only date guys at least 10 years older than me, but they all act like children. Ugh. No wonder I have been single for so long. PS- This is the sweetest song ever! "If it wasn't for him I would still be searching. If it wasn't for him. I wouldn't know my best friend. If it wasn't for him he would be able to see. If it wasn't for him he would be as happy as me" - Relient K 4 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

This is a laugh a minute! You gotta try it! [04 Aug 2005|08:05pm] Go to Google and type "YOURNAMEHERE is" in quotes, pick 10 results you like and post them here. Tiffani is pumping with a Paradigm for about six months now! Tiffani is seen relaxing on a wall unit, next to her favorite stuffed animal. Tiffani is totally independent and carries herself like a true lady. Tiffani is a woman who is finally admitting that it's okay to have some curves. Tiffani is available for assignment, however, NO PORNOGRAPHY! Tiffani is alert, talking a lot more than she did before surgery. Tiffani is also known for her quick Scrabble moves. Tiffani is as hot as they come! Tiffani is "WOW Woman of the Week"! Tiffani is in his bed, and he's about to lose his idyllic family homestead. 9 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

I have no words [02 Aug 2005|09:51pm] [ mood | moody ] [ music | Jessica Simpson - "These Boots Are Made For Walkin" ] Ok, that's a lie, but I am rather confused by a certain someone. Yeah, it's David (*again*). He called me on Friday @ work and apologized profusely. He said he'd make it up to me and not to let him off easily. He knew I couldn't go out last weekend b/c of my sister's baby shower, but he said he'd call me over the weekend so we could talk about things. Then he said that we'd go out this week so we could talk things out and he could make everything right. Well...we're a couple hours shy of Wednesday and he still hasn't called. What an asshole. He's nuts. That's what I get when I forgive people. I had a racy dream about John last night. Then seeing him today just drove me nuts. I don't know if we'll ever hook up though. He's in kinda a bad situation right now and I doubt we'll ever get to a point where we can see if we can be more than friends. Oh well. Time will tell. I am so sick of being at home! I have been home for weeks!!! I tried to go out last night and tonight, but my mom called me and said she needed help at her school for tomorrow, (school starts tomorrow). So hopefully tomorrow or Thursday I can go out! YAY! I really have nothing to talk about. Oh, I desperately want the Relient K CD. I may have to sneak outta work at lunch and go buy it at Borders. Oh, enough useless dribble! Love y'all! "You keep thinking what you shouldn't be thinking. Another to far is down till you kissing ground. I'm a gonna send you back home as you crying. But Uncle Jesse he sure is gonna be proud. These boots are made for walkin. And that?s just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you" - Jessica Simpson Listen To The Music Of The Night

New stuff for thee [31 Jul 2005|01:39pm] I am on my way to the mall to pick up "school clothes". Not exactly, but you can't beat huge sales and no tax! I am also gonna pick up the new Relient K CD. Some band Reid likes and I didn't catch onto until they showed up on MTV. So here I go jumping on a bandwagon.... More later... 10 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

Life as of late [28 Jul 2005|08:16pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | The All American Rejects - "Night Drive" ] Picked up Aunt Gail from the airport this morning. Yay me! We went and had lunch w/Mom and her friend Lynne. Then I took her to Skinz, (we were cracking up), and then we went to Target to buy more stuff for the baby! I am the happiest soon-to-be aunt ever! It's so much better to have a niece than a daughter. I'm just not cut out to have kids. Anywho, Sue will be here tomorrow and then the baby shower is on Saturday. Fun fun. I am seriously considering getting the TMJ surgery. I just wanna know how many people have had damage done to their ears. I don't wanna wake up deaf! So, I'm still kind on the fence about the whole thing, but I need to do it before the settlement, so I need to decide ASAP. As for David. He's a f'ing asshole! Somehow I hope he finds my journal and reads about what an asshole he is. He disappeared, called me on my cell while I was at work about our "date" for Saturday...on Saturday! and when I called back (5 minutes later) he didn't pick up. He didn't call again till Monday night at 11:30! I missed that call too b/c I was downstairs. He told me that he couldn't handle drama and anger directed at him and he said I knew I was mad at him, so he decided to disappear again. I haven't heard from him again. I probably never will. Weird. Everyone that knew him, knew me, and knew us together says that even at his age, (if you know me, you know that David is substantially older than me), he is immature and that he must be f'cked in the head for what he did. Onto John... We are planning a date soon. I am not getting excited at all. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to go out w/him, but nothing may ever come of it, so I am not getting my hopes up. Of course, David and I were having fun and everything was laid back w/us and look what he did. Anyway, John and I talk a lot more and he has always pursued me more than David ever did. Plus we flirt a lot. Maybe maybe. Ok, I better get. Bye! "Take me break me. Every mile further there's a part of me that slips away. One day you'll see. Even if you got down on your knees you couldn't make me stay. Drive all night. Never gonna get me. Night by night. To get away from it all. Fight fight fight. All you wanna do is hurt me. You wrecked my life. So I'm gonna have to drive all night" - The All American Rejects Listen To The Music Of The Night

That face is tearing holes in me again [25 Jul 2005|09:10pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | The All American Rejects - "Straitjacket Feeling" ] Well, here's the latest and greatest, (or something like that). I permed my hair on Thursday. I hate it but everyone just about died over it. They love it. Yuck. I went in asking for Rachel Mc Adams' hair a la "The Notebook" and "Red Eye". Well, that's not what I got. Someone recently compared it to Emmy Rossum in "Phantom of the Opera"...so OF COURSE I can live w/that! Haha. Lanty's baby shower is Saturday. I love my sis, (and my soon-to-be niece), but I will be so happy when it's over and it's August! Family will have gone back up north and I can relax again. There's still drama-rama in my life, (other than family bs), but what else is new? David is still MIA. Maybe he got abducted by aliens. Hopefully they gave him an anal probe. Jerk. My friends say that he will have to do a lot to make this up. I don't know when/if I'll hear from him though. Right now I'm thinking that he's made my decision for me. I guess it's gonna be John. I called him today from work and told him that I was bored at work and called to talk dirty to him! Haha. It was all a joke, of course, but we did end up talking for 20 minutes. He's great. Hopefully we'll be able to go out next weekend when I'm not so busy. I don't wanna get excited b/c I don't have faith in guys right now. Plus, deep down, I really miss David. I just wish I knew what was going on with him! Ok, enough bitching! Hope everyone is doing well! Leave me some comments! "Trust you is just one defense off a list of others. You don't make sense. Beg me time and time again to take you back now, but you can't win. Take back now, my life you're stealing. Yesterday was over. Today I'm fine without you. Runaway this time without you and all I ever thought you'd be" - The All American Rejects 14 Phantoms| Listen To The Music Of The Night

Don't waste this chance with your smile [23 Jul 2005|09:23am] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | Elvis Presley - "It's Now Or Never" ] Been doing alot of thinking this week, (especially after what happened yesterday). In the grand scheme of things, (if you compare this situation to the characters in my fave movie, "The Notebook"), D is like Noah and J is like Lon. I madly wanna be w/D, but it's so complicated. Although I care for J a great deal, (and he is gorgeous as well!), I really think I would rather see what could happen between D and I if we were given the chance. My friends all tell me to just have fun. I am having fun...with D!!! I know there's nothing wrong w/dating a few different guys, but what if one gets attatched to me, or what if I get attatched to one? I'm already pretty attatched to D, but he hasn't been around very much. I haven't seen him in over a week and haven't talked to him since Wednesday. He said he wants to go out tonight, but I haven't heard from him. If he calls, fine, but if I don't hear from him by a certain time, maybe I'll call J. I wish I knew what was going on in D's head. My friends tell me that if down the road D wants to be exclusive, then I can break it off w/J, but I don't function like that. What if... I was casually dating both of them. What if D said he wanted to be exclusive, but I had become more attatched to J in that amount of time? Or, what if J got really attatched to me and then D and I decided to be exclusive. I wouldn't wanna hurt J! Damnit. I know "girls my age" are suppose to date a few boys at once, but I wasn't raised like that! Aside from that fact, I've never had any desire to. Going into this I was working on something w/D. I thought, 'Maybe it'll turn into something serious, or maybe not". Either way, I was willing to just have fun w/D for this time. I never wanted to bring J, (or B...as my friends are also now telling me to bring in), into the mix. If I'm gonna casually date or exclusively date a guy, it's always been my way to date one! D or J? I really don't think anything would happen w/me and B, but D and J are so cute and have been teases for SO f'ing long. Now they both are asking me out. techincally J was around first, but D has showed more interest up until now. Now J is taking the reigns. I guess they're both equal about now. And me? Well, now I'm just so confused that I can't even see straight! Haha. "Just like a willow, we would cry an ocean if we lost true love and sweet devotion. Your lips excite me. Let your arms invite me. For who knows when we'll meet again this way. It's now or never. Come hold me tight. Kiss me my darling. Be mine tonight. Tomorrow will be too late. It's now or never. My love won't wait" - Elvis Presley Listen To The Music Of The Night

Maybe it's best you leave me alone [20 Jul 2005|09:57pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | The All American Rejects - "It Ends Tonight" ] I am lost and confused. Ok, maybe it's not that dramatic, but it's not been fun. I am committed to someone on my own accord. He is not seeing anyone else and neither am I. It hasn't been discussed exactly what our situation is. And b/c of his age, he's not about to take a flashback to high school and ask me if I wanna be his "girlfriend". We're just kind of together and that's enough. BUT, it's been rocky. I am happy but we're so busy. I think it'll calm down a bit once he's in his new place, but now it's so hard. I am dying to be w/him...hell, I'd just like to see him! I haven't seen him in a week! One week I'll see him 2 or 3 times and for the next couple of weeks I'll see him (maybe) once. Now some people are telling me that there's nothing wrong w/casually dating other people. True. I am really hooked on this one guy, though. I chose him so many months ago and now that we are together I am just ecstatic knowing that at the end of his day he calls me, he dates me, he holds me. It's so far from where we've been. It's something I have been waiting for so long to have. As times goes on, though, the disappointments add up. Do I stick to the guy I chose? Do I talk to him about how I'm feeling even if I don't think that we're "official"? Or do I see if anything happens w/my hot guy friend that my other friends say it wouldn't be so bad to hit on? *sigh* In my heart I just wanna be w/the one I chose. "I can't explain what you can't explain. You're finding things that you didn't know. I look at you with such disdain. The walls start breathing. My minds unweaving. Maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted. On this evening I give the final blow" - The All American Rejects Listen To The Music Of The Night

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