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Friday, February 13th, 2004
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2:30a - "Big Bad" beginnings and introductions
I am sorry that I have not written in a while, my duties have kept me busy. Even now I'm unsure if I can really write about what happened....
First, the good news. Mitran and I have made amends. We aparently both had the idea because we both ended up getting each other an "I'm sorry" present. Mitran gave me this beautifully carved stake that he had carved himself and had his occult friends imbue with the ability to detect vampires while holding it. That really touched me. No one besides Michael has ever gone out of their way to make something so nice for me. I definately won't let this stake leave my side. I hope Mitran and I can be friends eventually. He may seem a little odd at times, but heck, so am I. We've both got something in common, lol.
Now the bad news. Dwayne is in a coma. I am so worried about him. He was the one man besides Mr. Harris that I knew I could trust. He was a constan, always there if we needed help or backup. I thought he was the strognest, most stable member of the gang, but now he's trapped within his own mind. What did Edgar do to him? What horrible visions did Dwayne see while we were trapped under Edgar's illusions?
Yes, the Spear's name is Edgar. He's 600 years old and is out to cut off the world from all dimensions, magic, name it. And yes he's here. The order brought him out of limbo. We decided to track him down early while he was still weak, but it was a trap. As soon as we stepped inside that house we were locked in and Edgar appeared before us as a projection of himself. Talking to him was useless of course. He was so arrogant of his power and flaunted his knowledge, even getting into a philosophical debate with Mitran, who really said somethings that clearly rattled Edgar despite his haughtiness. He told us that he was going to trap us here until he completed his spell, and that was when everything went black.
Then the nightmare came. It was so real, I believed it all. Ramone had been dead for years, Michael and I had gotten into a horrible fight about my secret and I was forced to give up my slayer powers permanently, I had no life because I was stuck being a workaholic for a job I felt trapped in, I had no time for friends or family, and I took pills for depression because of it. It was worse than any monster I've fought or nightmare I've had. How did Edgar know that the one thing I fear more than anything else is to be trapped in a mundane prison, never being able to make a difference in the world or even to be myself and enjoy life? To be trapped into following people's choices for me? I know I'm not very creative and I know that all I'm really good at is accounting, but I want to be more than just Dad's best friend's accountant for the rest of my life. I know I can be pretty timid, but I want to make a difference in this world. I want to make a mark. I want to choose my own path, regardless of what my superiors think is best for me. If Mitran only knew that I would give up all the money and privelege I had now in an instant to have the freedom he has to be whatever he chooses without dealing with what everyone else wants you to be. This nightmare was so real, and I almost gave in and believed it all. If I had I would be in the same state that Dwayne is in now, I think.
But I didn't believe it. I broke free of that horrible spell. I woke up in that house surrounded by everyone else and the doors were no longer shut. We had all escaped Edgar's trap....except Dwayne. Ramone tried to break him free but instead hit a mental wall made of steal. It'll take months maybe to break it down. I handed Mr. Harris my cell phone and he called an ambulance.
I know I conquered that personal nightmare, but it still bothers me. What if it spoke the truth of the possible future? Would Michael really be that furious of what I have become? Maybe I shouldn't tell him after all. And another thing. In Edgar's trap I dreamed that after Ramone died I discovered that he was Captain Fabulous and had never told me. What does that mean? Is this just a false image that Edgar placed into my mind to torture me, or does it have some truth? Should I ask Ramone about this? I wouldn't even pretend to know how to bring that subject up. i have enough trouble getting him to tell me what his favorite food is. He's very reclusive. How long will it take before he's comfortable enough to open up to me? What will it take short of an appocalypse? We've got that, that's for sure.
After all that has happened I'll be happy to take a short break from all this worry. Every year my parents clear their schedules and we sit down for a Thanksgiving dinner for just the three of us. Since I rarely get to see my parents nowadays I'm so looking forward to this. Too bad Michael never joins us, that's the week that Dad gives him his vacation. Can't Michael take another week? He's family too, always been like a second father to me. I just wish that the one person I feel closest to wasn't the one person I was trying to hide my secret from. I've never hidden secrets from Michael before. Why am I now?
current mood:  uncomfortable
current music: B.B. King (comment on this)
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