Date:	2004-04-28 05:07
Subject:	Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	Rock 105 radio station

The trap worked! Twitch's artificial smell worked and we surrounded them in the old football stadium. Between Mr. Dastun's sniper rifle, Mitran's newly aquired silver cane, and Daniel's and my bow shots, those canibal serial killers didn't stand a chance. Dwane's silver augmenting of all our weapons really did the trick, however he decided to leave afterwards followed by Jean, who he's dropping off at the Cleveland Slayer Academy on his way to Canada. It was so sad to see him leave, just a day after he woke up. We've gained a new member in the wake of the loss, and guess who, it's that Daniel guy. I could've done without the scalping Daniel did to the bodies (ick ick ick), but he did some really cool mojo that helped us in the ambush. I'm starting to suspect that he time traveled from the 18th century. If so, no wonder he doesn't get along well with most people. Speaking of Daniel....

He's not as much of a jerk as I first thought, just suffering from a bit of fish out of water syndrome and a quick temper. My suspicions that he was a totem warrior were confirmed too. What happened is that I saw him checking out a huge stack of books on werewolves. I asked about them, and he noticed my bandage underneath my shirt which weren't there the day before. I attempted a very stupidly executed cover story, but he obviously saw through that and managed to get me to take off my bandage, revealing the almost healed over gashes. Then Mitran says, "Her boyfriend beats her, it's quite sad." The nerve! Ooo I was so mad, and defended Ramone's honor, then Mitran countered with,"She like's it rough in bed." OOOO! If I weren't a nice person I'd take away his cane and let him limp all the way back to his next class.

Anywho, long story short, my cover was revealed and we showed Daniel the training room, which for some odd reason someone (*cough cough* Ramone *cough*) put a glamour on the room to look like the bat cave and the fortress of solitude. I berated Ramone for confusing Daniel like that, but I really found it quite funny and really cool. I didn't know Ramone could do that! I wonder how long he can apply glamours like that. I wonder if he could use that on my bedr-....uh, moving on.

Heather got a call from Beth again, and went to go see her for dinner. I wonder what Beth told her. I know she hates me and blames me for some of her problems. It seems like I've been becoming the scape goat for people these past months. First Mitran, then Beth, who's next? Daniel? He's made it obvious that he dislikes my skin color and the money I have at my disposal, however he's become a little more polite towards me as of late, so here's hoping he gets over the bad first impression.

I also saw something very interesting: as Daniel traveled off some where, I could've sworn he turned into a wolf. I don't remember Danielle and Robert having that ability. He's not a werewolf, I would've sensed it if he was. Daniel also doesn't seem to know what a slayer is. He even showed a blank face when I mentioned the word "vampire". I think I'll have to sit down with him and do some information trading. I'll tell him all he needs to know about my 'line of work', and perhaps he'll return the favor by letting me know a little about himself.

I also got a visit from "Professor" Roger Good. He looked me up in the phone book (mental note: get an unlisted number). He also met up with me later on at the Drinko coffee shop. Suffice to say I got some good information about the movements of the werewolves and Roger parted with way more of my money than I was planning on spending this week.

And I really need to get back to Ramone about that glamour spell....

Date:	2004-04-23 17:35
Subject:	Back to normal...sort of.
Security:	Public
Mood:	pensive
Music:	favorite works by Rachmaninov

I've been so busy with patrols lately that I have been unable to update my journal until now, months after my last post. It'll be too long an entry if I talk about what has happened in the usual amount of detail that I tend to describe, so I'll attempt (I am so anal retentive some times) to be as brief as possible:

-Michael found out about my secret, but he wasn't mad like I thought he'd be. Aparently his family line contains many watchers and he was simply sheilding me from the old council so I wouldn't be taken away from my parents like they used to do with potentials. Once he was told of the improved ways of the new council, he was immediately supportive of me since I had chosen to do what I did rather than it was chosen for me. He even supplied Mr. Harris with much valued tomes he had snatched from his father's library and gave me some beautiful old weapons to help me with my new "career". That night felt like I was having a coming of age party, like a Barmitzva, except that I'm Presbiterian...and 19....and a girl. This was such a load off my shoulders, and I feel closer to Michael than I've been in 2 years now. I'm closer to him than I am my father at many times, because Michael was always there to raise me when mom and dad were away. I mean, I wish I could've seen Dad more often, but I know he has another family too that needs his attention. And all mom does when she's around is complain that I'm not social enough with the right circle of people. I don't want anything to do with those airheads at the countryclub outside of business. It's worked out for the best though. I've always got Michael, and it's good that my parents haven't come around yet. It would just further complicate things.

-We defeated our first "big bad", but why am I not happy? Mr. Harris says that I should be proud about my part in saving the world from yet another apocolypse, but there was too much crap that happened in the aftermath for me to really sit down and reflect on a "job well done."

-Mitran broke his neck killing that sorceror. I was so afraid that he was going to be killed himself, but luckily the damage wasn't great enough to permanently paralyze him. He's even walking now with the aid of a cane and is out of the Hospital! Yes he can be quite the jackass at times, but he and I have made amends, and once you get past that wisecracking exterior he's a very honorable man, and I respect that.

-Dwane is out of his coma! This is such a relief, he was always the voice of reason amongst all this madness, and I'm so glad he's back. He seems so sad too. I wish I new what had troubled his mind so as to trap him inside it, and it feels like he's still dealing with it too. Maybe he just needs time. I will try to make him as welcome back as possible.

-Twitch's soul got trapped in this robot he had made in his likeness when he got knocked into a coma. Oh God, I just read that sentence I typed, and it still wierds me all the heck out. I mean, this really disturbs me. Don't get me wrong, it's great to know that Twitch is ok, sort of, but now he can't go to school and can't get money off his parents because they still think he's sleeping. He can't touch, taste, smell, it's got to be having an effect on an already eccentric kid. Ramone needs to find a way to put Twitch's soul back in his real body soon. I'm sure Ramone can find a way, can't he? Aparently the Twitchbot can generate energy by burning about 10000 calories, so I've been supplying him with 5 large supreme pizzas a day. I'm the only one who can afford to feed him, and it's the least I can do.

That's one of the reasons I've been going out on patrol alone. Mr. Harris says that I'm ready for solo patrolling now, and I'm really glad about this change. Noone else needs to be put in danger like they did before. The graveyards are so lonely without someone to talk to, but I really couldn't deal with another of my friends getting seriously injured. I can deal with the pain, I heal fast, but they can't.

Plus it hasn't been as lonely as I thought it was, because another slayer came into town. Her name is Jane, but she's gained the nickname Calamity. A PACK of werewolves chased her in from Tennessee and we would've been kibble if it wasn't for the silver bullets of a paranormal detective that came into the area. We 3 escaped back to Morrow (not before the packleader left quite a scratch on my chest) and are currently setting up a trap for this pack. I poured the entire bottle of peroxide over that "scratch" and it fizzed like crazy. Who knows where that redneck's claws have been *shudder*. This is why I'm more of a cat person.

-Ramone and I haven't really been spending much time together, and I don't really know what's wrong besides his unwillingness to make the first move in our relationship. Why do I always have to be the one to come over to him or ask him questions? Sometimes it feels like he's dating me because of another reason other than he likes me. I know that sounds silly, and I'm probably just imagining things, but this "mysterious aura" that he constantly projects is starting to annoy me. Plus we haven't really been alone together much. Everytime we have alone time it's always after I've been frustrated or worked up by some big battle; are we possible of alone time without that?

I'm tired of waiting for him to make the first move. After we dispatch of this werewolf infestation I'm going to make a move. I gotta think along the lines of how Ramone thinks, if I can figure out what that is. For instance, I know he really looks up to Mitran, kinda reminds me of the kind of friendship that those hobbits had in the Lord of the Rings movies. Maybe I need to be more strongwilled and asured of myself. Maybe that's what Ramone's been waiting on for so long, for me to make the first move!

-Beth is still missing too. This really worries me. What happened is that Nick Parker got zapped into Morrow by the sorceror and Beth attempted to kill him. I tried to talk sense into her but got thrown across the room as a result. She's so strong, stronger than me I fear. And now she and Nick both are missing. I don't know whether Nick's somewhere plotting another sceme or if Beth's gone off the deep end or if Beth has Nick captive, I don't know what to believe. Beth's called into Morrow on the odd occasion to check in on what's going on. We've been keeping Twitch's robot status a secret, much to Twitch's annoyance. And she's made every indication she can over the phone with Heather to make sure it's known that she doesn't like me. She still thinks I "betrayed" her friendship by stopping her from killing Nick. What does she think she did when she threw me into a wall?

I don't know what to do. Heather and Mr. Harris fear that she might go evil, and that scares me more than anyone, because of what I might have to do. I'm a slayer. It's my job to slay all evil supernatural beings. Beth is undead, and she tried to kill a human being. Technically I'm supposed to slay when supernaturals do that. But she and I were friends. She fought side by side with me against all sorts of badness. Could I really ever bring myself to fight her if things ever came to that? Thinking about this possibility makes me sick. I've been having nightmares about it all too, and sleep eludes me on occasion. Fortunately I don't need much sleep. I need to know what Beth is up to. I need to know what side she's on.

-Oh, and this guy has been showing up at Morrow and bumping into me on campus, and he's a real jerk. I broke up a fight between him and another guy that would've ended in them both getting arrested, but of course he decides to insult me instead of thanking me, even later when the reality of the situation finally set into his head. I've been as polite as I could despite his insults about my intelligence amongst other things, but if he keeps pushing I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

Oh, and I think he may be a totem warrior like Robert and Danielle. What's his totem animal, the JACKASS? I'm not gonna let him know who I am though. I'll be damned if I have to deal with another wisecracking slayer hater in this group. *sigh* I'm sorry for that sudden outburst, I'm just worn from worry. I'm going to try to find a free weekend so I can take the boat out on the water with Ramone or something. That way we'll be able to spend some alone time and I can get my mind off of everything that's been bugging me. I need to recharge before I loose my temper and make things more tense than they already are. Mr. Harris says that I have to show leadership. I'm going to try my best to handle my problems on my own.

Date:	2004-02-13 02:30
Subject:	"Big Bad" beginnings and introductions
Security:	Public
Mood:	uncomfortable
Music:	B.B. King

I am sorry that I have not written in a while, my duties have kept me busy. Even now I'm unsure if I can really write about what happened....

First, the good news. Mitran and I have made amends. We aparently both had the idea because we both ended up getting each other an "I'm sorry" present. Mitran gave me this beautifully carved stake that he had carved himself and had his occult friends imbue with the ability to detect vampires while holding it. That really touched me. No one besides Michael has ever gone out of their way to make something so nice for me. I definately won't let this stake leave my side. I hope Mitran and I can be friends eventually. He may seem a little odd at times, but heck, so am I. We've both got something in common, lol.

Now the bad news. Dwayne is in a coma. I am so worried about him. He was the one man besides Mr. Harris that I knew I could trust. He was a constan, always there if we needed help or backup. I thought he was the strognest, most stable member of the gang, but now he's trapped within his own mind. What did Edgar do to him? What horrible visions did Dwayne see while we were trapped under Edgar's illusions?

Yes, the Spear's name is Edgar. He's 600 years old and is out to cut off the world from all dimensions, magic, name it. And yes he's here. The order brought him out of limbo. We decided to track him down early while he was still weak, but it was a trap. As soon as we stepped inside that house we were locked in and Edgar appeared before us as a projection of himself. Talking to him was useless of course. He was so arrogant of his power and flaunted his knowledge, even getting into a philosophical debate with Mitran, who really said somethings that clearly rattled Edgar despite his haughtiness. He told us that he was going to trap us here until he completed his spell, and that was when everything went black.

Then the nightmare came. It was so real, I believed it all. Ramone had been dead for years, Michael and I had gotten into a horrible fight about my secret and I was forced to give up my slayer powers permanently, I had no life because I was stuck being a workaholic for a job I felt trapped in, I had no time for friends or family, and I took pills for depression because of it. It was worse than any monster I've fought or nightmare I've had. How did Edgar know that the one thing I fear more than anything else is to be trapped in a mundane prison, never being able to make a difference in the world or even to be myself and enjoy life? To be trapped into following people's choices for me? I know I'm not very creative and I know that all I'm really good at is accounting, but I want to be more than just Dad's best friend's accountant for the rest of my life. I know I can be pretty timid, but I want to make a difference in this world. I want to make a mark. I want to choose my own path, regardless of what my superiors think is best for me. If Mitran only knew that I would give up all the money and privelege I had now in an instant to have the freedom he has to be whatever he chooses without dealing with what everyone else wants you to be. This nightmare was so real, and I almost gave in and believed it all. If I had I would be in the same state that Dwayne is in now, I think.

But I didn't believe it. I broke free of that horrible spell. I woke up in that house surrounded by everyone else and the doors were no longer shut. We had all escaped Edgar's trap....except Dwayne. Ramone tried to break him free but instead hit a mental wall made of steal. It'll take months maybe to break it down. I handed Mr. Harris my cell phone and he called an ambulance.

I know I conquered that personal nightmare, but it still bothers me. What if it spoke the truth of the possible future? Would Michael really be that furious of what I have become? Maybe I shouldn't tell him after all. And another thing. In Edgar's trap I dreamed that after Ramone died I discovered that he was Captain Fabulous and had never told me. What does that mean? Is this just a false image that Edgar placed into my mind to torture me, or does it have some truth? Should I ask Ramone about this? I wouldn't even pretend to know how to bring that subject up. i have enough trouble getting him to tell me what his favorite food is. He's very reclusive. How long will it take before he's comfortable enough to open up to me? What will it take short of an appocalypse? We've got that, that's for sure.

After all that has happened I'll be happy to take a short break from all this worry. Every year my parents clear their schedules and we sit down for a Thanksgiving dinner for just the three of us. Since I rarely get to see my parents nowadays I'm so looking forward to this. Too bad Michael never joins us, that's the week that Dad gives him his vacation. Can't Michael take another week? He's family too, always been like a second father to me. I just wish that the one person I feel closest to wasn't the one person I was trying to hide my secret from. I've never hidden secrets from Michael before. Why am I now?

Date:	2003-11-19 21:12
Subject:	A very wild day, in every possible meaning of the word.
Security:	Public
Mood:	enthralled
Music:	Debussy

I'm sorry it's been awhile since I typed up a journal entry. I've been kind of...err....preoccupied. I've got some time to update my entry while Ramone's asleep, so here goes...

I tracked down the two other guys that I had saved from those three vampire chics the other night and they agreed to let me follow them around as a protective measure. I also got some more info from Dwane and Mr. Harris about the 3 vampires I fought. Apparently they are a part of a man-hating gang called the "Chicas" lead by a 200 year old vampire named Gabbi Blades, who has killed a slayer before. Ick. There were probably at least 5 more of the gang left so I went to find Ramone so he could do a location spell to find where they were hiding out. I found him at this new magic shop that had opened up on 4th. I asked him for help with a location spell, but then turns jealous over the that Captain Fabulous guy that showed up to help me the other night. First he ignores me, now he's jealous? Over a man in leotards?

I kinda hoped that I could get alone with him for a little bit so I asked if he wanted to do the spell at my apartment while I gather my equipment, but unfortunately he had all his supplies at the library. Darn! I did get to help him with the spell a bit and talk to him a little, so it wasn't all a loss. And from it we found that the gang was hanging out at the abandoned Ames department store. After checking to make sure that my charges were safe in their dorms, I suited up with Xander, Beth, Ramone, and Dwayne, and we headed out to hit them during the daytime. I wish that Mitran had been with us because I needed all the backup I could get with this, but he's been kinda scant this week. I hope he's not avoiding us because of me, his experience is valuable to the group. I admit that I started to get the willies a bit before we charged in for battle. I mean, Gabbi had been around for a long time, and she killed a slayer before back when she wasn't as powerful as she should be now. I'm a bit new to this job, would I be strong and fast enough not to become the second notch on her hog's gas can? I think I'm starting to see why Mr. Harris gave me the choice to continue this path. How could anyone force such a dangerous destiny down upon someone?

The fight was really tough, and I got really hurt. That Gabbi was really fast and her sword sliced across my chest and then cut into my shoulder after it shattered my bowie knife (note: get stronger bowie knives). I managed to finally dust her thankfully, and Mr. Harris and Dwane helped bandage up my wounds. I didn't have much time to rest though, because just as soon as I got back I discovered that, according to eyewitnesses, Xena and Hercules dragged my two charges out of the dorms and off somewhere. Drat! Why is it so hard to keep an eye on people? I rushed back to tell the others, and Ramone found the location where all the magical activity was happening. We rushed to the scene and I broke open the door. There we found a guy sitting on a lazy boy with a remote, surrounded by a myriad of characters from the Terminator to Freddy cruger. I tried to talk him down from this but he sent the Terminator after me. He was too much for me. I could barely dodge him let alone fight back, and the others weren't fairing well either. I soon found myself flat on my back with the Terminator's foot coming down towards my head. Then I heard a scream and the Terminator vanished, along with all the other constructs, I looked over to see that the guy's remote had been smashed along with his arm, followed by him being sucked into the TV and a demonic Pat Sajack telling us that he'll see us next season. I gained my composure and went and made sure that the two guys tied up in the corner were ok.

I noticed that Ramone wasn't in the room, which worried me, so I called out to him, and he answered, "oww!" from outside the house. Fearing he had been hurt I rushed outside to see if he was ok, and he wasn't hurt at all. He was standing there, his usual stoic self, and that kinda confused me for a bit. I really wanted to thank him, I wanted to tell him that I knew it was he that smashed the remote with his mind, that he saved me from the Terminator's boot, but I couldn't really find the words, so I kissed him, and he returned it. The rest...well...I didn't expect it to happen so fast. I mean, somehow we ended up at my place, and there was a lot of....stuff....and he brought out his telekinetic....stuff....and I started using my slayer.....stuff.....and.....well errr.....stuff. Well I better go. I gotta take a shower and fix some breakfast. I hope he likes pancakes :)

Date:	2003-10-20 21:39
Subject:	Captain Fabulous??
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	Ace of Base

Mr. Harris got a call from Twitch. Apparently a guy he knew from class had been murdered in Smith Hall. It was really grisly, like he had been hacked apart with an axe or sword of some kind. This really upset me because I had been through campus on patrol last night and didn't see a thing. I decided then to spread my patrol through some of the main buildings to make sure nothing bad happens.

After my class I went back to Morrow and found Ramone talking to Mr. Harris about a magical aura he sensed near the murder scene. I was hoping this would be a good opportunity to spend some time with him, but as I walked in the door Ramone got up, stated that he was off to do more investigating, then walks right past me without saying a word. I don't know what's going on with him, he's "Captain Mix-Signals." This is so frustrating.

To take my mind off things I helped Mr. Harris with research about magical constructs, which he suspects might be what Ramone might have sensed. We also got some more weird developments from Twitch. Apparently there were these 3 nerdy guys that Sean was known to hang out with, and they were really giving this other classmate a hard time about his biology project. Twitch also felt that they really weren't that broken up about what had happened to Sean. He's not sure if it's connected to anything, but in this town anything is possible.

When it started getting dark I went patrolling through some of the buildings on campus, and after finding nothing I decided to implement plan 'Alpha Zeta'. You see, I haven't' been finding many vampires out at the cemetery or on campus lately, so I decided to try a new tactic from my theory that vampires are probably most likely to go after helpless sorority girls hanging out in clubs. So I stopped at my apartment real quick, and changed into the hottest red dress I had in my wardrobe. I also put on some strong perfume since vamps have a pretty good sense of smell. Then I went to the Impulse over on 4th avenue. I sat at the bar for a while and ordered a virgin drink, hoping that some vampire would come up and hit on me. I wasn't quite sure how I would figure out if it was a vampire or not, but Mr. Harris did tell me something about how I'd eventually be able to 'sense' it. I tried my best to 'sense' the room, but all I got was one horrible pick up line after another or some babbling drunk frat boy trying to hang all over me. Ick. I was starting to appreciate the calm silence of Ramone. Just about when I was thinking of giving up, 3 fairly nerdy looking guys, who could only be the 3 guys that Twitch had described to us before, walked in. I decided to move to a table next to them and keep an eye on their conversation.

I only got snippets since the dance music was so loud, but apparently they had come here to get their minds off Sean's death. However, one of the guys seemed really nervous, kept bringing the topic up to the annoyance of his friends. I just watched out of the corner of my eye as he kept getting more and more nervous and upset, like he was fearing something.....

Then something made the hackles rise on the back of my neck. I turned around to see what gave me that funny feeling and I saw 3 girls walk in and head over to the dance floor. They were vampires! They had to be. I didn't know why I thought they were, I just felt it in my gut. Maybe this is what Mr. Harris was talking about.

Then the one guy that had been acting really strange bolted up from the table and insisted on leaving. For a moment I was a bit torn because I wanted to follow these guys and see what was up, but then I also wanted to make sure that those 3 she vamps didn't get an evening meal that night. Unfortunately, my 'dilemma' was solved when after the 3 nerdy fellows left the bar the 3 vamps followed after them! I left some change on the table and followed suit.

I caught up to the group in time and managed to distract the vampires from the 3 guys. Luckily, they didn't know that I was a slayer so I caught them off guard a bit. Still it was tough going. They were pretty vicious and I was hard pressed to keep them from getting the upper hand. Just as they started pulling out knives, from out of nowhere lands this guy in a garishly colored leotard and mask. Everyone, including the vamps, stops and stares at this. I used the opportunity to smack down the vamp behind me. I finally finish dusting the first two, in time to see the (superhero???) say something very corny and dust the 3rd. He then turns to me, introduces himself as "Captain Fabulous!" and after handing me a card flies off into the air. What the---? Who was that flambouyantly masked man, and where did he get those cards of his made, they're really good. The shocking weirdness of it all distracted me from noticing that the 3rd nerdy guy had run off until I heard this sickening scream. I ran around the corner to see him fall onto the ground clutching his chest. Someone had stabbed him! I immediately called 911 on my cell and tried to stave off the bleeding. This was too much. I mean, I was there, I saved them from the vampires, this shouldn't have happened. It was then that Mr. Harris and Twitch and Ramone arrived, soon followed by the paramedics.

He was still alive when they got him onto the ambulance thank god. I felt so horrible, I was shaking a bit. Twitch tried to make me feel better, saying that I can't be everywhere at once, that I still do a lot of good. I appreciated it, but it still didn't make me feel better. I mean I was right there. They should've been safe. I hope he's ok. I think whoever's doing this is targeting this group of people. I need to watch them, to protect them somehow. I just can't seem to keep people alive in this town!

Date:	2003-10-20 02:49
Subject:	Captain Mix signals
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	american beauty soundtrack

I can't figure him out, I just can't. First he doesn't say more than two words at me yet does all this wonderful stuff to help me train. Then, he asks me out on a date but after the date it's back to how he treated me before. Next, surprise, I get a wonderful boquet of flowers sent to me, but he acts more surprised that he sent them to me than I was getting them, and returns back to avoiding/ignoring me again. Then, out of nowhere he kisses me down in the library, and I mean really kisses me. I felt such a connection to him then, it was so wonderful, then the rest of the gang arrived which stopped it short. Now he doesn't give me the time of day.

What does he want? What are we? We've been on two dates, we've kissed, yet I can't really say that we're dating. Is he just really shy? Is he unsure of where to go next? Does he have trouble talking to people? I have trouble talking to people, but not this much trouble. He seems to be able to talk with everyone else just fine. If I could just get closer to him. We've only been truly alone once, maybe he'd open up if we had some time alone together. All I'm asking for is a two-way conversation longer than 30 seconds. I'll take the other stuff later.

Now I just want to know who he really is. Is there something about him that he's afraid to show me? Ugh, I wish I wasn't so busy with training and homework and keeping secrets, or I would just try to get up the courage to ask him out with me somewhere. Somewhere private, like out on the river, or watching/listening to movies at my apartment. Heck, if I could just help him with his occult research once in a while. We are just never alone together. I'll have to remedy that, I just don't know how.

Date:	2003-10-20 02:14
Subject:	Close call...
Security:	Public
Mood:	relieved
Music:	Hotel California

Michael was very upset with me, but he was understanding. No, I didn't tell him what I really did. I made up an excuse about working late at Drinko and forgetting totally about dinner. That covered the fact that he couldn't get me on the phone since they frown upon cell phones in the library. It's not until now that I'm starting to realize just how much he watches me. It's a wonder he doesn't know about what I've been doing already. I guess he can't stick around all the time, he does still need to run the ranch back home as well as take care of me.

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but ever since I admitted to him last summer when I felt that rush come over me, how I found myself much stronger and faster than I thought was possible, well, he's acted different around me. More protective almost. Why should he be more protective? He knows I could win hands down in almost any fight with another person if they should attack me, why does he still get so worried about how late I'm out at night? Maybe the protective instinct never goes away from the people who helped raise you, no matter how strong you feel.

Maybe I should come clean and let him know why I have these powers. I hate keeping from him the knowledge that I'm a slayer, but I know he wouldn't understand why I risk my life like this. He wouldn't listen if I tried to explain how careful I am or why it's something that I have to do or how it's made me feel like I've finally got a purpose in my life. Heck, would he even believe me if I told him about vampires and demons? He'd think I'm crazy that's for sure. I mean, yes, he does know that I'm suddenly much stronger and faster than I was, but he doesn't know just how much. Maybe I'll tell him someday, but now is not the time. I gotta find a better way to break it to him. I mean, what's the use of Batman having an Alfred if he has to keep him away from the secret entrance to the bat cave?

Date:	2003-10-09 18:33
Subject:	More things to worry about...
Security:	Public
Mood:	distressed

The only good news of the day was that Beth woke up from her self induced coma. The list of things for me to stress out about is growing....

First troubling thing, our initial attempt to physically break into the Order of the Spear's base after Ramone took down the magical defenses did not go unnoticed. SO non-unnoticed that the OotS sent in this very huge demon to 'distract' us. Don't want to bother with the gory details, but eventually we killed it. Then as we went into the house to see what kind of trap door they escaped too, I noticed Ramone's clothes lying on the house's floor. I think he really needs to work on his transportation spell, since it seems eveytime he uses it he looses his clothes. Not that it's a bad thing...I mean...err...what I mean is that worse things could happen instead of loosing ones clothes when a spell backlashes. Anywho, strangely one of the head henchmen from the Order was tied up with a red scarf like a christmas present at the foot of the trap door. Aparently someone is helping us out, but who?

Just about then Ramone shows up safe and sound wearing one of the leotards he keeps in his knapsack just in case he needs to activate the S.M.A.R.T.A.S.S. spell. He then cast a really powerful truth spell on our prisoner. Basically what we found out from him is that the Spear is actually the name of a powerful warlock that has been trapped between dimensions and the Order is trying to set him free, which is why they captured Nick. He unintentionally started the spell and he has to finish it. Bastard. What happens if the warlock is set free? Well, he'll cast a spell that will sever all magical ties to Earth. That means no demons or vampires, but it also means no good powers, like Ramone's telekinesis that helps him find his way around almost as well as someone who can see, or my slayer powers, or the powers that are keeping Beth alive, and who knows what else. I don't know, but something just doesn't seem right with this. It looks good on the surface, on paper it would seem that we should be working on their side, but suffice to say my gut is twisting while I think about this. I get the feeling that something horrible will happen as a result of this spell, but I have no idea what.

Mitran, however, seems to like the idea. I can't blame him really, I mean demons did kill his father, and if the spell is completed that means no more demons. Maybe he'll change his mind once we get more information on what this spell truly does. One thing I've picked up from seeing the product of Ramone's transportation spells is that the more powerful the spell, the more powerful the side effect.

Now that I've had the chance to calm down a bit, I think I might try to make amends with Mitran or something. But what to do? I could get him flowers, but he really doesn't strike me as the flowery type. I could get him a card, but there's really not any Hallmark cards that say, 'sorry I smacked you over the table, can we be friends?' Hmm, maybe I'll get him a carton of cigarettes. He seems to really like them. I've noticed that he usually rolls his own, but I have seen him smoke Marlboros out on patrols...god my car smells like those now, how am I going get that smell out before Michael starts to think I took up smok--OH GOD! Michael! I was supposed to meet him tonight at my apartment for dinner! But then Mitran and me....and then the demon...and the Order of the Spear...and.....oh no, how am I going to find an excuse for this one? I can't tell him the truth. If he found out that I was risking my life like this.....

Date:	2003-10-06 19:18
Subject:	yet another punching bag to replace....
Security:	Public
Mood:	numb

I thought that when I went out on patrol things were going to get better, but it turned out to be torture. No, I wasn't overrun by demons or vampires. I almost wish it was that, instead of having to deal with Mitran. It started when I was trying to explain to Elizabeth how we usually do patrols, and Mitran kept challenging and questioning every one of my methods or reasonings. Fortunately a vampire popped up out of the ground then and stopped the twenty questions. I was able to catch up with it pretty easily since it was just newly risen, and I punched him in the face pretty hard. That knocked him over a few feet and against a tombstone, opening himself up for a quick stake. However, Mitran pushed past me, grabbed the guy, said something about his punch being stronger than mine, and knocked his head off. Yes, be it the way the tombstone was laying, or just dumb luck, Mitran dusted the vampire with his fist. And, of course, I didn't hear the end of it the rest of the patrol:

"Aawww, poor slayer, she is not as talented as Mitran," or "Behold, for the great Mitran has dusted a vamp with his bare hands!" and "Have you been able to tear a head off a vampire with your bare hands, slayer? No? Maybe the manly Mitran will teach you," and we can't forget, "Hey slayer, you are lucky that I smoke this much, for if I were to give up I might surpass you, eh?"

That's the last time I let him sour my car with those aweful cigarettes of his. Then he does something to top his previous horribleness. While I'm packing the equipment into the Hummer after our patrol, he calls Mr. Harris up on the cb and tells him that I am jealous of him because he killed a vampire with his bare hands and I have not, and that I need to come home because I am not needed. Then he hands me the cb and tells me to cry to my watcher and he'll make it all better. What in the...I mean....of all the....this made me furious. Slaying vampires is not a contest, it's a duty. What he did to that vampire was not 'cool' it was overkill. Does he really think that I do this for fun? He's like those twerps at the country club. All fluf and pomp and nothing inside to show for it so they have to pick on the quiet girl to feel better about themselves. What is his deal? Why does he pick on me so much? Haven't I been nothing but nice to him? Why does he make me feel like crap and continually try to goad me into retaliating? Well I was determined not giving it to him. I decided that I would not let him get to me and I would ignore his comments. If we were to get into a fight I might loose control and seriously hurt him, and I don't think I could forgive myself for that.

On our way back to the Library I stopped through Taco Bell to pick up food for Ramone and Mr. Harris, and Mitran gave me a chocotaco because, according to him, little jealous slayer girls feel better about being worthless if they eat chocolate. UGH!!! But I didn't say anything. I held myself back. It wouldn't have been so degrading if Elizabeth hadn't been there to see me standing there, furious but not able to think of something witty to say back, just standing there taking it. I felt that my silence only egged him on, but I couldn't think of anything to say that I was sure would not come out awkward and silly like it usually does when I open my mouth.

When we got to the library I tried to keep my composure but I think Mr. Harris and Dwane could tell I was upset. I saw Ramone sitting over some books at the far corner table so I went and sat by him in hopes he'd be in a chatty mood so I could distract myself from Mitran, who was now doing a handstand infront of a googily eyed Elizabeth wilst bragging about his kill of the day. I knew he was doing it simply for me, but I kept my back turned away and concentrated on Ramone, who was quietly reflecting over something while his hands slid over the spell books he had converted into braile. Ever since that one moment when we kissed back in the library I'd been wanting to get near him again, but there had been one distraction after another. I managed to get Ramone to talk a little bit about what he was trying to figure out, but he was clearly distracted by his own frustration. Aparently he had found null spots where a powerful magic ward had been set up and he'd been trying to find a way to crack through it all evening. I figured that I should leave him to his research, so I went downstairs to the training room to do some work outs. After a few stretches I started a steady rhythm with the large punching bag, the last one hanging since Beth had pummeled the other one apart the other day. It felt really good to work out. My body just set itself into a nice steady beat as I punched one fist after another into the bag, and all my frustration began to just melt away.

Then Mitran walked in. He knew I was in here. He knew that I was avoiding him. I decided not to notice him, and I kept my rhythm with the bag. Right......left......right......left......he pulled his shirt off and started flexing his muscles at me from across the room. Then he started working the speed bag on the other side of the room....started insulting my technique, started picking apart what I did. I didn't say anything, I thought he'd stop eventually, but he kept going. I started punching harder. Still a steady tempo, but a bit faster. Dwane walked in and went over to the weapons chest, putting up some of his tools. I hoped that maybe Mitran would cool it down then, but he ignored him and kept on. Right...left...right...left......he then went on about how I fought, called me a coward, said I was nothing. Have to ignore him, can't let him get to me...the more he went on the harder and faster I beat that bag.....right,left,right,left,right,left.....I was so angry, I don't think I've ever been that angry in such a time. All I could hear was Mitran's words and the constant pounding of the bag, which I was pouring all my anger and frustration into. I felt it start to give way at the ceiling, but I didn't care. My hands started to ache, but I ignored it. Even when Ramone walked in and said hello to me I couldn't bring myself to say anything in return, because I was gritting my teeth so hard as too hold myself back. It was about then that the punching bag disconnected from the ceiling and crashed against the wall.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't have anything to hit anymore, so I just stood there with my fists clenched. I tried to hold it back but tears were welling up in my eyes, and I knew I couldn't let Mitran see it, so I kept my back to him. Mitran stopped hitting the speed ball and got down on the floor and started doing pushups while touting his strength amongst other insults towards me, the largest of which was the insistance that Ramone sit on his back while he continue his pushups. When Ramone agreed a pang went through me chest. Why was he agreeing to go along with Mitran like this? Then Ramone did something unexpected. Mitran started straining harder than usual, and it was after his breath became heavy and he stopped talking as he barely reached push up number 15 that I realized that Ramone had been magically making himself heavier than normal. When Mitran stopped Ramone got up, turned to him, and said, "yep, Natalie's still stronger." I felt a rush of adrenaline; Ramone, in albeit an obviously unkind way, had come to my defence. This was the first time anyone in the group actually said anything in my favor, and for just one moment I forgot about my anger. I took a deep breath and I started to walk out the door.

I tried to avoid Mitran as I passed him, but he walked up right beside me and said, "so the little slayer is too afraid to fight her own battles so she sends her little boyfriend to best me with his mag-" It was then that I swung around and slapped him. I had held myself back for two days now and that last comment for some reason just ripped out the last string of twine holding me back. All my pent up anger went into my right hand, and Mitran flew over the table and onto the floor mat. That was when Dwane shot his gun into the floor.

The sound was deafening and my ears rang as the bang echoed around the concrete walls. I don't think Dwane had to shoot off his gun, I think he was trying to break us up, but it didn't phase Mitran one bit. He stood up off the mat and started shouting at me about his father's death by demons and how he could've saved him had he had my power. As he kept shouting these phrases he charged at me. I felt Mr. Harris and Ramone as well as the others running in the room to see where the shot came from. It was then that I looked into Mitran's eyes and all I saw was pain. All the things that he had said before melted off my back. They didn't matter anymore. He swung his fist at me so I moved out of the way. He kepted swinging at me shouting about how my powers were undeserved, how he had worked all his life to be good at slaying demons and I came along and was undeservedly better in two months, but they didn't sting me like they used to anymore. After about the fifth swing I dodged he stopped and stood there in front of me. Despite all the jabs and insults and times when he made me feel like the dregs of the earth, I felt sorry for Mitran. He had a look of utter defeat, but despite what he thought of me I didn't feel good for winning this fight, if that's what it should be called. As he turned to leave I grabbed his shoulder. I told him that I was sorry for his loss, but he shouldn't take it out on me. I told him that this is the first time I had ever hit another human being like that, and I hoped never to hit someone like that again. I told him that if he dared put me through this again because of something I didn't do I'd hit him again but not hold back. I picked up the fallen punching bag and apologized to Mr. Harris for breaking it and that I'd pay for the replacement. Then I walked out of the room and headed for my car.

I just wanted to get away from everything. Today had been so mentally exhausting and I felt horrible. I felt like the dregs of the earth. I shouldn't have let my temper fly and hit Mitran like that, but he brought Ramone into it. It's one thing to insult me, but to bring other people into it was too much. As I was walking to my car Mr. Harris called out and stopped me. I was half expecting a lecture, since I did loose my temper, but instead he told me he was proud of the way I handled myself in there. He said that I could've let myself go and seriously hurt him, but I didn't, and that's what counts. I admitted to Mr. Harris then that I was starting to feel that Mitran was right, that I'm not really needed in the group. Mr. Harris reasured me, told me that I was the reason that the scoobies meet here, that I'm the reason he's here. He said not to listen to Mitran, he's got a lot of pain in his past that he hadn't dealt with yet, and I shouldn't feel bad about myself because of his problems. I felt better, but I still needed to get away from things for a bit, so I asked Mr. Harris if he'd take me out for ice cream. He agreed! It really felt good to, for just one moment, forget about the Order of the Spear, and Nick's escape, and my problems with Mitran, and talk about candy sprinkles on ice cream. I tried to explain to Mr. Harris why everyone puts candy colored sprinkles on soft serve icecream, but he seems to think that they look like little hamster poop. I assumed he definately wouldn't like chocolate sprinkles then.

Well that's all for now. Twitch just called on the radio about Ramone finding a way to break into and monitor what's going on in those null areas, so Mr. Harris and I are going to meet them at the Library and discuss plans. Hope it goes well.

Date:	2003-09-29 19:57
Subject:	Indescribable day
Security:	Public
Mood:	frustrated

Right now I'm sitting alone in the training room. I told everyone that I needed to go stretch and change into some new clothes to go out on patrol tonight, but instead I just needed some time to sort things out and take a breather from everything that went on. Today started out very nice, but then things went, well, I can't really sum that up in just one sentence, let me start from the beginning....

The night before I managed to gather the courage to invite Ramone out to go horseback riding, and though he's never been on a horse before he seemed up for the adventure. It's hard to gauge his emotions, he always keeps his cards held really close to him, then when you least expect it he throws them out at you. He did just that by having a bouquet of flowers delivered to me after my Spanish Class! He says no more than a few words to me in a day, then sends me a great big gesture, then later when I came up to him and hugged him thanks, he kinda acted surprised at first like he didn't remember that he had sent them to me. Odd, huh? Then, he and Mr. Harris begin to relate to us the information that they got from Nick the Dick Parker from a clever truth spell that Ramone cast, which revealed all the women he had murdered as well as the accompliss that had the book in question that they got the sacrifice spell from. Ramone then produced the book from his sack, which I garnered meant that they had managed to find the accompliss as well. From his research Ramone determined that #1--The "prosperity spell" only called for animal sacrifice, Nick was using women cause he felt it would be more potent, ick. #2--most of the other spells were just ordinary run of the mill basic spells, which we figured to be a cover up #3--the nameless spell in question was not really a prosperity spell but was just a cover for a strange locator spell of some sorts to find something from another demension, though Ramone couldn't determine what it was supposed to find. Later that day we broke it to Beth about Nicky Dicky, and luckily she took it much better, albeit by going and tearing up the training room a bit. It's ok, I think she needed to let that out, I'll order a new punching bag for Mr. Harris as a Halloween gift or something.

This morning I arrived at Morrow and did some more training till Ramone showed up. Then we drove up to the Country Club were Fred, the stables guy, got our two horses out. Ramone seemed a little uneasy about the idea of getting onto such a big animal, but after we took off on the trail together I could see he really started to enjoy himself, even relax a little. I love going out on the trails because it really helps me clear my mind. Anywho, afterwards we stopped and ate lunch at the country club's cafe and I think Ramone was really starting to talk to me more, until I saw Darren, my ex! I tried to hide my face, and I thought about just leaving, but then Ramone told me that I shouldn't be so afraid of people from my past, which I think was the most insightful thing he's said to me. Then Darren and a couple of his buddies walked over. I could tell that Darren wanted to say something insulting or derogatory, but maybe Ramone's ultra polite demeanor or the fact that Daredevil had just come out in theaters kept him from creating a scene. With some basic pleasantries exchanged Ramone and I headed back to Morrow to meet up with the rest of the scoobies.

It was then that we were informed that though the news mentioned Pecker Parker being transfered from Kanawah county to Cabell county jail tomorrow, Dwayne got word from his contact in the police department that it was just a reuse and Mr. Sleaze was being transfered tonight. We were planning on seeing if we could monitor this transfer in some way, but Dwayne had also gotten news from a source that a large nest of vampires were hanging out in the abandoned train cars on 8th Ave., and Mr. Harris decided that the more immediate threat was the more important one to address.

At the abandoned yard Dwayne decided that he would run into one end of the rail car in full werewolf form and scare the vampires out into our ambush. I got out my bow, but then Mitran made some comment about me being afraid to fight. I was about to refute that when Mr. Harris mentioned that I do need to stop relying on my bow all the time although it is my biggest strength. I don't use my bow because I'm afraid to fight! It's just that I pick off vamps much faster that way, and you go with the most effective, right? I was wanting to say something witty that would really shut Mitran up, but I couldn't think of anything to say I was so flustered, so I decided to just keep my peace rather than open my mouth and prove my awkwardness. Dwayne entered into one end and vamps spilled out the other, and I started fighting with this one while the others went after the rest as they came out. Now, I'll admit that this guy I was up against was pretty tough, probably a leutinant, but he kept dodging all my punches and I just couldn't seem to get a hit in at all, like I was off my game. Ramone did this incredibly awesome trick in staking a vampire that involved a box of toothpicks. Then behind me everyone starts picking off the vampires one by one, even Twitch cut the head off of one with his hatchet, a small hatchet! Everyone was just cutting through all the vamps they fought, and I was still hammering it out with this one. I don't know what came over me, but I looked at the vamp's face in front of me and he reminded me of Darren, standing there, smiling smuggly like he's better than everyone else, looking at me like I was nothing, like I was just a dumb floosy to him, and I did something I never thought I could do. I started screaming at the top of my lungs, I grabbed my enemy with both my hands, and I just threw him as hard as I could. With all my strength I tossed him like a rag doll straight into a jutting shaft of wood sticking out of the rocking rail car that Dwayne was still throroughly thrashing. Then there was one last vampire left, who started running away as fast as he could. I would be damned before he got away from me, so I ran after him. The vampire tripped, which I suspect is Ramone's doing, but then this girl came out of the bushes and attacked him. I was still just so mad and angry and frustrated and that vampire was getting up off the ground and I knew he was going to go after her, so I kicked him. I kicked very hard, so hard that he flew about 15 feet before landing on his back and driving those two stakes up the rest of the way into his heart. That kinda startled me cause I really didn't know I was capable of that either, but damn if it wasn't satisfying! Then I snapped out of it and made sure that the girl was ok.

Turns out her name is Elizabeth, and she's the girl that I saved from the two vampires that were attacking her and the two MUPD police officers that night I was in a hurry to get to Ramone for our date. Upon hearing my recolection Elizabeth admits that she's been following us ever since then. There's no real use in trying to hide the whole vampire thing from her, so Mr. Harris welcomed her into the group. About that time Twitch comes running all wild like towards us screaming about how Ramone had been captured by invisible transdimentional zombies. I try to calm him down and deduced that Ramone probably just said something to Twitch so he could get away from him. Then, I start to worry, because even though Ramone's quite capable of taking care of himself, he still doesn't know the area well and a blind man with a bad sense of wardrobe color scheme walking through the area of an abandoned train field next to the projects tends to attrack trouble wether supernatural or mundane. So since the situation seemed taken care of here I excused myself to look for Ramone and make sure he was ok. But I couldn't find him anywhere. I looked all over and called out to him, but I couldn't seem to figure out where he went. Just when I was thinking of going back to get my car, I noticed something odd out of the corner of my eye. It was a phone booth with Ramone's clothes neatly stacked along with his cane! Whereever Ramone was, he was naked! Totally confused and worried as all heck, I grabbed Ramone's clothes and ran back to were everyone was to tell them what I found. When I get there I walk up just as Mitran remarks in what I thought was a very unkind tone about Ramone's blindness. I was sick of his attitude today so I cut in a retort.

Then Dwayne stumbles out of the car all battered and cut up so I run to help Mr. Harris carry him, when Mitran pushes me out of the way! Pushes me! Then he tells me that I am no longer needed here and that I should go find Ramone while the important people take care of this. That cut, that really cut. If they don't need me, then I'll get out of their way. They might not care about where Ramone is, but at least I do. So what if he hasn't really shown me much affection yet. We've only been out on 2 dates, maybe he just wants to take it slow, or maybe he's just shy. I know I'm shy too, it took a lot to gather up the courage to ask him out on a date myself. I could hear Mr. Harris yelling after me, but I didn't feel like stopping. All I wanted to do is get in my car and drive till I found Ramone. I drove and I drove, but no sign of him. I just got more upset, and tears crawled down my eyes, then I found myself parked at the entrance to the cemetary. I got out, walked up to a beech tree, and hit it as hard as I could. My hand hurt, but I felt much better, so I just stood there. Is Mitran right? Do the scoobies not need me? Why does Mitran act like he does around me, he doesn't treat the others like that. Have I done something wrong? Twitch had been trying to get me over the cb radio for a while now, but I ignored his "comin comin" calls till he said, "Natalie, Ramone just called me." That shook me out of my moping and I returned Twitch's call. Ramone had called him and said that he botched a teleportation spell and transported without his clothes, and needed me to bring them to him at Morrow. I felt so relieved that I jumped into the hummer and drove right over.

When I walked in the library room, Ramone was sitting at a table wearing a bathrobe, and I let a huge sigh of relief. He told me that he had heard that Nick had been freed from the police when a semi jacknifed on the highway, so he teleported to the scene and tracked the gettaway van from there but could only find an abandoned vehicle and some chewed gum which he brought back to use as a tracking spell. It was then that I got nervous and started babbling. He was sitting there in a bathrobe with his sleek shades and Matt Daemon hairstyle, and this evenings fight was just so drawn out and frustrating, and I've found that when I've been in a big fight I just get so....keyed up...and well, I started telling him how frustrating the fight was and Twitch telling me that he'd been captured by zombies, then seeing his clothes in a booth and thinking the worst, and then feeling so useless and then finding out that he was safe after all....and about then was when Ramone kissed me. All my frustration and anger just melted. Everything that bothered me today just disapeared. I'm not sure how long it was that we were there like that, but there was a knock on the door and I jumped back and Ramone grabbed his clothes and ran in the back room to change. Mr. Harris and Dwane came in first and Mr. Harris noticed that I was kinda out of breath, and me being the most horrible liar in the world, said that I was tired from running down the stairs to get Ramones clothes to him. "Where's Ramone?" he asked. "Changing," I said. "But it's been a half an hour since Twitch told you were he was, he's just now changing?" I started to get nervous cause I could see Mr. Harris and Dwayne both looking at me with weird amused expressions on their faces. I guess they know that slayers don't get out of breath from just running down some stairs. I tried to add something about how I was training or something whe Mitran came through and purposely bumped past me while singing something. Before I could figure out what the deal with that was, I saw that he was carrying an unconscious Beth in his arms. Apparently Beth had heard the news of Nick's escape and put herself into an induced coma, and they needed Ramone to figure out if she was still alive or undead or livedead, or something.

Despite being told by Twitch that my role within the group was the "crap kicker" not the "researcher" I still went and helped Ramone and Mr. Harris with trying to find out who freed Nick Pig Parker, but all we could find was the name of the group and that they were too secretive to find anything out about them, and that they were most likely behind distracting us with the vampires to keep us from intruding on their plans to capture Nick, which means that they know about who we are. It was then that I decided that I would go out and do some more patrolling since Saturday night means alot of people out partying, but Mr. Harris insisted that I bring Mitran and Elizabeth with me. He said that now that the "Order of the Spear" knew about us, I'd be the first person they'd want to take down and he felt it would be too dangerous for me to go out on my own. And thus here I am, sitting in the training room with my laptop. I better go since I needn't keep Mitran and Elizabeth waiting. I feel better now that I've written this down, maybe I'm just imagining Mitran's feelings about me, maybe he's had a bad day too. This will be a good time too to show Elizabeth the basics about how not to get eaten or killed. Well gotta go, I'll tell you how the patrol went.

Date:	2003-09-23 16:07
Subject:	Girls Day Out
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful
Music:	76 Trombones (stuck in my head, ahh!)

This morning I picked up an episode of the Parthenon and was shocked to see a story about Beth's ex-boyfriend (the sicko that killed her and turned her into a zombie, be it by accident) being arrested by police on multiple counts of kidnapping and murder. The soonest chance I got I informed Mr. Harris and Ramone about this development, and Mr. Harris suggested that Heather and I try to find a way to distract Beth from local media until he, Ramone, Mitran, and Dwayne investigate the matter fuller. Although I didn't like the idea of lying to Beth, I knew that her hatred runs so deep that if she found out about yesterday's arrest before we were able to break it to her gently, well, I think the county jail would have some major problems on their hands and people might get hurt.

I had to go to class, but before I left I overheard Dwayne talking over the phone to some police friends he knew to arrange a meeting with the sleazball. I think Ramone was planning a sort of truth spell to throw at him. Man, Ramone can do some really awesome stuff. First levatating things with his mind, next binding spirits into leotards, now making truth spells, what can't he do? I have the coolest boyfr...err, well, I'm not really sure what we are right now. I'm hoping that will change. I'm thinking I might ask Ramone if he'd like to come out to the country club with me and we could excercice Betty and Tax Evasion, my two horses. Betty was my first horse. She's getting on in years, but she's still in great shape and really docile. I got Tax Evasion last year. He was a horrible race horse, never won a single race in his career, but I think he's really fast and that's all that matters. When Dad heard that they were going to send him off to a dog meat factory he couldn't bare it and bought him straight from the owner for under $20,000. He's kinda spunky, but very fun to ride and has never thrown me off yet.

After class I rounded up Heather and Beth and invited them both for a girls night out on the Kanawa River. They both really got a kick out of the idea so we packed a picnic and I towed the cabin cruiser out of the boat storage. The rest of the evening went very well. Beth wasn't very hungry as usual, but Heather really liked the tunafish sandwiches that I made. I hope beth doesn't find out about what's going on until Mr. Harris can find information about it. I guess I'll just have to wait till tomorrow to see if the rest of the gang's investigations pan out.

Date:	2003-09-17 23:46
Subject:	First Date!
Security:	Public
Mood:	giddy
Music:	old jazz albums

I had a little bit of vampiric delay on my way to Morrow, but I still managed to get there right on time. And Ramone was waiting on me. We thought about walking to Heritage station, but we both came to the conclusion that we'd probably be bothered by vampires and then I'd have to get my dress all messed up slaying them, and I really don't want to be bothered by that kind of distraction when I'm supposed to have a nice relaxing evening. Anywho, we drive to the restaurant and Ramone already had a table reserved for us, isn't that the coolest? And the waiter was really awesome too! I haven't had a waiter that great since the last time I was in New York. The restaurant even had a braile menu, though Ramone said that he's gotten good enough to read regular text by feeling the slightly raised ink. That is so amazing, I never knew you could do that. I was pretty shy around Ramone, and he doesn't talk much, but when he does say something it's definately worth listening too. I on the other hand tend to say stupid stuff when I'm shy or nervous, or just around people in general. For instance, I think we were really starting to hit it off when I told Ramone about this strange dream I had the other night. It was a pretty scary dream, full of cackling evil women and most of the people in the gang. I remember her mocking me with this horrid looking knife as Ramone watched me powerless, but then I woke up. I thought he might be interested in hearing it, which I think he was, but he seemed to be more stressed out about it than interested in it . Did I say something wrong? I was just a dream, right?

Well after dinner the evening was still young so Ramone and I decided to hang out by the river. Luckily I had some lawn chairs in the back of the hummer so we both had comfortable seats. After a while I guess we ran out of things to say and I think both of us were searching for something to say. Then Ramone did that yawn arm stretch thing! I didn't know what to do, I mean it was corny as all heck not to mention the oldest trick in the book, but I kinda liked his arm around me. I mean, did he really think I wouldn't notice that, or did he do it obviously for laughs? I didn't know what to do, so I just did exactly the same thing he did! Imagine the look on his face! haha. Then it was back to awkward silence. I searched for something to say, something to make idle chit chat, but all I could think of was "Doesn't the river look beautiful tonight?" Ugh! Stupid thing to say Natalie! Stupid stupid stupid. I started stammering an apology and would've smacked myself upside the head, but my hand was already occupied. However, when I voiced this thought to Ramone, he did the funniest thing by tapping me on the side of my head with the arm he had around me. That made me laugh and the rest of the evening was not a bit awkward after that.

We didn't kiss or anything, but we did hug each other goodbye, and Ramone did seem to want to do this again. I hope so, I really think he a pretty cool guy. Not to mention the cute factor! Maybe next time we can go out to the stables and I can take him horseback riding. I hope he likes horses.

Date:	2003-08-19 12:35
Subject:	What to wear?
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	an old All Saints group cd

Oh man, it's only like another hour until I need to go pick Ramone up. I'm really nervous. I've never been on a date in a while. I hope I look ok. Is this a casual or formal date? I should've asked. Should I dress up or down? Should I wear red, or black, or that navy dress I have in the back, or.....oh wait....ugh, Brain fart Natalie! Hmmmm......I know, I'll wear my semi casual dress with the neat pattern stitched across the front, that way Ramone can see what a cool pattern it is if he happens to touch....my....um, err.....I think I'll wear the navy one instead. What else, what else. I know, perfume! I think I'll put on some Vanilla smelling stuff, cause guys like it when you smell like food, or at least that's what I read. But what if he hates vanilla? Ugh, I need to calm down. It's just a date. I mean, he asked me out with flowers! That was so sweet of him. I wonder where he's taking me for our date. Well, I better get off so I can finish my makeup, then I'll need to head out and pick him up. Wish me luck!

Date:	2003-08-12 02:31
Subject:	Flowers!
Security:	Public
Mood:	shocked
Music:	old Jim Croce albums

I can't believe it....I'm speechless......

When I got off the plane I headed straight for Morrow Library. The company fiscal meeting week was sooo horrible that all I wanted to do was see my friends again. I swear, there should be something in the rulebook about it being ok to slay motivational speakers and vice ceos, they are worse at torture than any monster I've ever faced. Well I walked into the training room and everyone was just lying around with various expressions of being worn out. Not noticing how worn out they were, I started off into a large rant of how horrible my trip was and how it was worse than anything that could've happened to anybody while I was away, then stupidly I asked them if anything happened while I was gone. Bad idea, because then everyone lifted up their shirts to reveal all these bandages and bruises all over their bodies! I was so struck back at all the injuries that I just stood there with my mouth open. Then, just as I was gaining my composure, Ramone gets up, walks over to exactly where I was standing in the doorway, hands me a bouquet of flowers, says, "Pick me up at 7:00pm," then grabs his cane and heads out of the door leaving me standing there stunned and stammering for another full minute. Ramone got up and he...and then he handed me....and then he said...................Umm, oh my.....I er, well...

I'VE GOT A DATE!

Date:	2003-08-12 00:28
Subject:	Long needed update
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	Summertime, by George Gerswin

Sorry for the pause in my entries, it's just that so much has happened that I've had trouble getting back to my journal. First off, I found out what Ramone was working on the past week. It was a new slayer training program involving these leotards imbued with some sort of wind spirits and....well, all in all though it was extremely weird I found Ramone's training program to be quite effective. In fact, before we got to try out the "A.S.Ses", Mitran and I did a little sparring which I found really fun. And when he took off his shirt before he came into the sparring ring, damn! I mean, damn! That man is chisled I'll tell you. It's a mystery he doesn't have a girl on each arm by now. I feel really bad for the few times I accidently hit him harder than I meant to. I hope he's not mad at me, I'd feel horrible if I new he broke a rib because I missplaced a kick. Anyways, I think Mitran and I do much better as a team against the A.S.Ses that Ramone created. Man, it must've taken Ramone a lot of effort and time to put it all together, I just wish I had more time lately to tell him how much I appreciated his help in this. Ramone is just such a great guy. Besides Mr. Harris, he's been the biggest supporter in helping me adjust to this new part of my life. He's really not anything like the boys I used to hang out with at the country club, he doesn't say much, but he's so polite and it's like he'd do anything for me. I don't think I've ever met a guy that I could really trust like that. I mean, Mitran is way intimidating and sometimes I get weird vibes from him, Twitch is so racked with paranoia that I think he really needs to get some psycological help, and don't get me started on those pricks back at the club! When I think back on that horrible date with Darren.....if I hadn't had supernatural strength.....well that's over now. All I gotta worry about now is hunting vampires and keeping my secret from my family. Talking about secrets...

I found out some interesting things about my friends today. We had just successfully eradicated a whole nest of vampires that were gathering out at the steel mill behind campus when I discovered many things. #1, Beth is not alive, she's a zombie! #2, Dwane is a werewolf! #3, Mitran is upset because he doesn't have scoobies. #4, Ramone's A.S.S kicks! (and pulls vampires' heads off) Again I wanted to talk to Ramone and tell him that I really appreciated what he was doing for me, but couldn't seem to get near him. Is he avoiding me? He's never said more than 2 words to me, yet he's done so much. Why is it that I can never get the chance to have conversation with him? Even when I ask him direct questions he answers them in the shortest and most cryptic way possible. This is all very confusing, I can't seem to understand people no matter how I try.

This upcoming week I'll have to leave my usual patrols and duties and join my parents for the annual company fiscal meeting, were I get to sit in the corner of a board room and jab a pencil in my eye, then sit at the company dinner and jab a fork into my eye. Oh well, I hope everyone back home does ok without me. After we eliminated that slew of vampires there shouldn't be any problems with demonic things for at least a week so everyone should hold up ok while I'm gone. I'll let you know how it goes.

I thought I'd update my journal while I sit here in Chem class, since the professor isn't going over anything new in his lecture and I have my laptop with me. Man I love wireless internet.

This morning before I went to class I picked up a Parthenon, the University's newspaper. I usually don't read it. It's usually extremely boring. Most of the time it has horribly drawn cartoons worse than even I can draw(and I really really suck at art), and the only news is about which greek club is holding what self-fundraiser when. Why don't they write about interesting and exciting events, like the upcoming National Accounting fair, or the State Mental Math Tournament tryouts? At least stick in a few blurbs about archery or equestrian news. Anywho, today's was different. On the second page, next to the story about the former mayor spontaneously combusting at a Krogers, (Mental note: have groceries delivered to me) was a police blotter about a missing student. This worries me because Mr. Harris told me missing persons usually show up as vampires later on. I'll make sure to let him know about it if he doesn't already. Whoops, I gotta go, class is dismissed. I'm off to Morrow Library. Ramone says he has another training regimen idea he wants to try out. Can't wait to see what it is! I wonder if it has anything to do with those leotards he's been sewing....

Date:	2003-07-08 12:01
Subject:	eDemon
Security:	Public
Mood:	pleased

After my Chem class I went back to Morrow where Beth and Mr. Harris gave me the low down on what they were talking about when I left. Apparently there are some odd students leaving at the same time every night, they take the same classes, they dress the same, and they do just about everything together at the same time, as well as visit a whole bunch of occult chatrooms asking around for summoning advice. Sounds like some kind of weird cult to me. I noticed that Ramone was sitting in the corner sewing, so I went over to talk to him. He was apparently sewing some kind of leotard outfit, but though he said they were for Mitran and me, they weren't for us to wear. I tried to ask him more about it, but he was being all cryptic and would only say that it was part of my new training program. It's really nice of him to be doing all this work just for me. I would offer to help him sew but I'm a horrible seamstress. I just wish he would let me in on his plan. He's one of the few guys I like hanging out with. All the other boys I know back at the country club are nothing but a bunch of pretentious perverted snobs. Sometimes I wonder if Ramone has another motive for doing all this for me besides wanting to become a watcher...

Mr. Harris called up Giles for advice, and from there we learned about Molok, this demon who promises everything to his followers then kills them. Apparently Mr. Harris had to deal with Molok along time ago when he was accidently scanned onto the internet. The main slayer, Buffy, destroyed him when they trapped him inside a robot body, but Giles said that he could've found a way back. I wish I could meet Buffy some day. Mr. Harris said that she's the longest living slayer, and I'd like to live a long time like her too. Maybe she can give me some tips. I'd give anything just to train with her one day.

I was thinking of just following the occult group to where they gathered, but Mitran had a better idea. He said that he'd infiltrate the group since he nearly fits the description of the blond haired blue eyed history major who knows about demons. While Mitran went into the computer lab to try to get in nice with the Children of the Corn, I waited outside behind a tree to make sure he'd get help quick if something should happen. Luckily nothing did and he was invited into their group to join them in their final ceremony that would bring forth Molok. I hope Mitran knows what he's doing.

When Mitran and I confirmed to Mr. Harris that the students were were going to summon Molok from the internet, Twitch started going off into another rant, but this time we actually understood what he said! Alot of it was filled with jumbled nonsense, but basically Twitch came upon the idea that Molok wasn't truly deleted and had managed to repair his file. Twitch also had a theory that we could trap Molok into a closed computer network with the help of Ramone's magic. Mr. Harris seemed to agree to the plan and while Twitch set up a computer network in the shape of a pentagram, we all piled into smaller cars and followed Mitran and the freak cult students to an old baseball field.

When we got there, the summoning was already in progress, so I took my bow and circled around to have a good vantage point to shoot from should Molok emerge. It was then that a demon emerged, but he didn't look like Molok in Mr. Harris's book. Apparantely he's supposed to be some sort of guard, so I aimed my bow and watched for Mr. Harris' and Mitran's cue.

Then something happened to the summoning circle because the laptop that was sitting in the middle of their pentagram started flashing skull and crossbones. Twitch did it! He got the virus into the network and trapped Molok! Go Twitch! Maybe I won't be so hard on him next time he ruins my plans to get information out of a vampire. Unfortunately we still had the very very ugly guard demon to deal with. I shot it straight through the head, but that didn't seem to phase it. It just yelled a bunch and looked like a bad Steve Martin impression. The only thing that seemed to phase it at all was Dwane, who's silver bullet gun shot a huge chunk out of it. Darn it, I wish I had silver tipped arrows, but at least I was causing the demon pain which distracted it a bit. The demon started struggling with something, which was when I saw Ramone across the field, clutching the chain-link fence in fierce concentration. He was holding the demon back with his powers! I didn't know Ramone was powerful enough to hold back such a large beast like that. After Mitran hit the demon with his axe, and Beth stuck a stake up his nose, the demon started struggling against Ramone and broke free! That's when I saw Ramone get his face slammed against the fence. I felt so helpless, not being able to do any real damage to the demon or protect my friends very well. I shot the demon in the eye, which irritated it so much that it didn't have time to resist when Dwane shot another hole in its shoulder. Then I saw Ramone gather himself back up with the fiercest look I've ever seen on his face and the demon shot up in the air while clutching at his neck like something was choking him. Wow, that was a sight I could tell you. That was when Dwane walked up to the demon all cool like, pointed his gun at its head, and shot it dead.

Then I saw Ramone double over in pain. Everyone else had the demon thing covered, and since I know nothing about demons I ran over to Ramone to help him out. He was bleeding profusely from his nose and he was barely standing on his own. I was worried about the blood loss, but he seemed much better after I stopped the nose bleed with my hankerchief. He finally stopped struggling with me too and let me fix him up. I wish I knew more about first aid, all the first aid stuff I know deals with horses, and Ramone is definately not a horse! lol. He looked pretty worn out after all this, I hope he's not too mentally sore. I think I might bring him some chicken noodle soup. Chicken noodle soup cures everything! :)

Date:	2003-06-23 12:34
Subject:	Ramone is so cool
Security:	Public
Mood:	productive

Today was exciting. I met Ramone, Mitran, and Mr. Harris in the training room to begin what Ramone calls his "advanced training program." Apparently Ramone is what Mr. Harris refers to as a warlock, and one of the very cool things he can do is move objects, like medieval weaponry, around with his mind. That is so cool. Basically, Ramone set it up so he could control 3 different weapons and I would dodge them as he made them come after me. In the first round I thought I was doing really well until Ramone's staff tripped me and I fell flat on my face. I was so stunned by that that I didn't roll out of the way in time and his mace hit me square in the ribs. It really hurt, and Mr. Harris was worried, but I was fine. It only stunned me. After having a minute to recover I let Ramone continue. This time I did much better, even when Mitran started throwing things into the ring. I actually managed to catch the club he threw! That was so cool, I didn't know I could do that. Now I had something to help me block with, but then Ramone made my right foot stick to the ground, I couldn't move it! Ramone said it was to simulate a vampire grabbing my foot as it came out of the grave, but I seriously doubt a newly risen vampire could hold my foot down like that. I still managed to hold my own though, even when that darn staff cracked me in the knee when I grabbed the other end. Despite the few moments when I got smacked, the whole excercise was actually pretty fun, and I think I'm really starting to get the handle of combat. My only regret is that I was in a hurry to get to Chemistry class and forgot to thank Ramone for all the help he's been giving me. I hope he doesn't think I'm ungrateful or rude for all he's done. I'll have to make a point to thank him later. As I was leaving I noticed that Beth was in the room and was asking Mr. Harris about a weird group of students she always saw coming out of her dorm every night. Huh, I wonder what that was about?

Date:	2003-06-22 13:58
Subject:	Making new friends
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

Mr. Harris and I went on another patrol with everyone else to the graveyard as we have been doing everynight. Tonight wasn't too eventful until I heard Twitch and someone else screaming at each other. I went over to investigate and saw Dwane, the guy we had met at Ihop and scattered art supplies. Aparently he had bought tools for tombstone rubbing to join us. He seemed imediately suscpicious when he saw everyone carrying some type of medieval weaponry, but Mitran made up a good excuse about SCA reinacting. Go Mitran! Even though SCA only uses boffer weaponry, Dwane seem convinced until a hand popped out of a nearby grave. Am I a magnet for undead hand grabbing or something? I aimed my bow, but I found that I couldn't shoot because the vampire that popped out was such a goober! He was so whiney and pathetic that it felt kinda wrong just to dust him right there. I was about to give him some sort of 10 second head start or something, but Twitch shot him in the arm and he got even more pathetic sounding. Then Ramone used his powers to start flinging him around like Droopy Dog does when someone grabs ahold of him in the cartoons. I finally got Ramone to hold him still. I figured I could at least see if I could get some information out of the twerp about who spawned him and where, but then Twitch shot a wooden bolt through his heart and dusted him. Geesh, Twitch is such an annoying little monster! I know it was good to put the vampire out of it's misery, but I still kinda felt sorry for the blood-sucking monster.

After that weird incident we finally had to admit to Dwane what was going on, and he revealed to us that he was a werewolf hunter. Very interesting, I didn't know that werewolves existed too. We all went to Dwights and Mitran and Ramone told me that they had come up with a training program so I could practice defending myself from multiple targets. I definately agreed! I've never had to fight like this before and I am willing to do anything it takes to be able to deal with it. Ramone is such a cool guy. It was so nice of him to do this for me. I don't know about Mitran though. He keeps making snooty comments at me, like he's jealous of me about something. I do remember him asking Mr. Harris if he could be a Slayer, and we already explained to him why it's only girls who are chosen. That could be a reason why he acts like that around me, but I don't think that's quite it. There's something else I think, I just can't put my finger on it. Well, tomorrow's another day. I can't wait to try out Ramone's cool training idea!