MaRiYa's Journal

will you be my valentine?
		11:52pm 07/02/2004
	well, answer mee!! haha i donno when mom & dad are coming home but so yea i coulda probably gone to sadies. lol. but i didtn want to so theres a different story. hope G had a good time. i love u sweetiee!! valentines day... whose gonna be my valentine? :\
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hahahah
		04:41pm 07/02/2004
	wanna make ur dream come true? wow. k bye
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sadies?
		09:49pm 06/02/2004
	i'm actually considering going to sadies tomorrow!! =-O i know it's AMAZINGSLY SHOCKING. but everyones been like pressuring me and pressuring me and theyre RIGHT. and i should!! and if LB goes i will. but shes babysitting. BHAHAHAHA. lol we'l see meet was good I LOVE SUKKA BRINKER. yay :) ilu sweetheart. we did awesome on our lift. :-D k bye
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FUCK U!!
		03:11pm 05/02/2004
	okay so in case you can't tell i am in the WORST FUCKING MOOD RIGHT NOW. jesus christ i'm mad. yea you tell me hate is a strong word...and after we had what i thought was a REAL conversation yesterday you fucking pull that shit again? when u did that and he was like "get him get him" i seriously wanted to. 'n then i was like wow fuckin' i dont even CARE ANYMORE. GOD DAMN IT I"M SO MAD. okay after this i'm never wasting my time again . if tonight he asks why i'm mad i'm gonna be honest. FUCK him . swear to god this is so fucking ridiculous GROW THE FUCK UP. i'm DONE.
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i can't say it doesn't hurt
		09:06pm 04/02/2004
	i can't say that i don't miss you and i can't say that i wish we could have what we never had. buti'm also scared to have anything with him now. it's like, i'm gonna get hurt. thats the only guarantee i can give about any relationship i can possibly have with him. i'm gonna end up being hurt and i don't want to an di'm so sick of hurting and i'm ready to see if i can do something about it just to stop hurting for a little while but i kno w that if things ended i'd go back to hurting. or myabe i'd get totally over it an di'd never hur tagain. i have no clue what i'm gonna do. trey may be performing at the fashion show :-D YES exciting. sexi sexi. CRAZAY!! i love that boy 'n if he goes up 'n does it fo reall its gonna be SOO mothafuckin tight. i'm excited. this is some crazy shit.
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so tired
		08:59pm 04/02/2004
	omgg...first meet tomorrow...good luck girls. i hate it but i'm lovin' the whole we GOT IT DOWN thing 'n we're gonna place 'n we're gonna do GOOD and kicka ss 'n i LOVE LB!!! :-D loveya=- myzzi
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yay patriots
		04:46pm 02/02/2004
	patriots won last night so joyce should be happy. eww janet jackson's boob: NOT somethign i wanted to see in my lifetime. CBS is gettin' soo much shit for that. lol so funny. justin timberlakes a lil slut we know that much. today: edge :) i'm staying home from practice so i can study for my trig/gbe tests tomorrow (i'm gonna do GOOD! I KNOW IT!) at least ont rig for sure i'll do good for GBE i never know cuz our new student teacher is like madd hard. it was never this hard with larkin. i just cant wait til CHICKENS!!Lol i'm so excited for that its crazy. cuz i cant wait for willie to get some chickies to play with!! and i wanna be a mommy. it's a really life changing expereince u know. lol -- o but about edge...yeaa ash said its like weird that i'm going or she wouldnt expect it, cuz u kno umm i'm not christian! lol the whole jewish thing gets in the way sometimes...but i 'm not going for the religious aspect i'm going so i can hear that guy talk about his suicide attempt that musta been soo scary. wow . it'd be such a horribl thing to have to live with..but with his dad dying when he was young and everything that's just crazy. dying because you don't wanna live without your dad? it makes me think. i wouldnt wanna live without like my best friends...me& LB were talking about this earlier today (1st hour) about how like its stupid that i'd wanna kill myself if like one of my best friends died...but its true. u'd jus lose the will to live. its weird. its hard to explain. well anyway to sum it up i wanna see the guy talk about it at the edge. i believe joyce is driving me? hope so!! lol jayme's not going to edge cuz >:O DRIVERS TRAINING. ahaha she hit her mom with a broom. and her brother with a vacuum. so shes grtounded for 2 weeks. that makes me laugh. WOWO. stupid child. okay wow ya thats a lot of writing. I CANT WAIT TIL SUMMER! :-D i' mso excited so much swimming time. anyone is pre-invited. to come swim. last year our pool was broken half the summer & the othe rhalf it was too damn cold to swim in. bah. this summer will be PERFECT. :-D k bye ~
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go patriots 8-)
		09:24pm 01/02/2004
	woop. lets hope carolina doesn't win...for joyce's sake :-P good day. tomorrow = edge!:) i'm goin for tha first time in foreer cuz i wanna see that speaker go. :) sweet dreams <3 where are all my comments?!?!?!
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ugh

04:54pm 01/02/2004

mood:

cranky

music: luda - splash waterfallss

ok after a week of not talking to me THATS what u say? fuck you

umm yea today was good...i got a lot of sleep so life is good...andi havent yet watched any superbowl stuff but i omst likely will later today if i don't = oh well! lol

this morning was bah! lol actually no it was really good i went to eh community center w/LB and we worked out for about 2ish hours (give or take) i went on...treadmill forlike 10 minutes cuz i HATE running, ellipse for half an hour then we did like abs & ish. & i wasn't gonna eat when i ot home but i finished the cheesecake and then had some apples....i feel GUILTY! but bah. i'm not eating any more today & if i lose the iwllpower i'ma do what emily did &i'ma call LB. lol shes my happiness counselor.

i have a trig test tuesday & damn i hope i do good. i think my grades are OK right now. i'm pretty sure i'll be okay. i gotta do my history right now. & then later today i think i'ma take willie for a LONG walk just the two of us & my CD player. cuz i'm really tired. and i just want to walk with him. nobody else cuz i dont wanna talk to anyone.

shaza's such a freakin cutie pieeee. i love her.

k i'm out see yaaz~ myzzi

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good morning
		08:21am 01/02/2004
	once again i'm up very early. tonite i have to got o sleep early & tomorro get as much sleep as possible because damn i've been sleep deprived this weekend. soo rite now i'm up early because i'm goin to the community center w/lb to work out in 20minutes...then yesterday was ashlie's solo & ensemble (KICKASS!) haha. kick bass. wowo. she got a 1. it was sexi. yesterday night amounted to nothing...seroiusly. moms n dads friends came over (the ones i lovee) so it was okay...n then i went for a walk with corey...but i had to be home by 9?? god they crazay. theyre so strict. and they still dont like corey & chris beause like LAST YEAR they had red hair. is that not ridiculous??? bah. o well. my contacts are starting to hurt because i've had 'em for almost 3 weeks and my new ones havent come yet so bah ow. lol when i was putting htem in it stung for like forever & a half. ookay. thats all i reall gotta say cept today is more or less homework day (TRIG TEST ON TUESDAY!) i have to get an A on that test because i HAVE to prove to mr.clary that i can do good in his class. i just have to. it's not even about mom or dad or scool anymore its about me proving that i'm not an fucking idiot. to myself. because dunlap thinks i am. and i have have have to prove i'm not. i have to. okay its 8:24 and lb will be here in 20 minutes and i'm not even ready. bahhaha. okay byeeez~
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usher...

04:16pm 30/01/2004

mood:

confused

music: usher: separated

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

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sorry i haven't updated lately
		03:36pm 30/01/2004
	yea sorry i really haven't been updating this there really isn't a lot to say...well a lot on my mind but whatever...here's whats up... new classes are... 1. dufresne : with LB so its nice 2. history: umm there's noboyd in there that i was friends with before but hopefully i'll make some new ones rite? 3. GBE: i hate it. lol kat's not bad or anything its just hte class is so hard!! >:O 4. trig: sarah's in it sooo it's a good thing. hopefully i'll do good 5. psych: jessica!! :) life is good 6. criminal law: not so bad. it's snowing kinda bad rite now. uh oh. an di've really been thinking aobut the classes i'm taking next year. it's hard now because i can't take AP lit. dunlap wouldn't sign me. so i'm really really upset bout that i was like crying today almost because i was so upset because i'm reallizing how much i BLEW IT. english is my best and vavorite subject. i got my AP history & AP econ stuff signed by shipp and i got a C in history because he knows i can do it and he saw my improvement 2nd quarter. but dunlap said she just doesn't want me to do it. so i'm like really really really really unbelievably upset about that. GOD i'm so mad at myself. i blew it. i FUCKED UP and now i'm paying for it with this. i've always gotten what i wanted and now i'm not getting it and i'm really really mad. god this is pissig me off. plus i kicked a hole in the living room wall today so DAMN that can't be good. mom knows though. so hopefully i'm not totally fucked. i'm not gonna hide this from them, obviously. i'm so upset. not upset. just mad at myself. i'm a screw up. i really am. i mean look at my sister...look at ashlie look at shaza, look at even mila. they all get good grades...ash is in honors so is shaza now, dunlap signed ash's paper. god i'm so upset with myself. i'm such a fucking IDIOT! >:O GUH!! what is the point. i'm considering droppin out when i turn 16 lol that would be fucked up. woudlnt it. god. i wihs i could go back and fix all this. so bad. in other news.. variety show yesterday was really good, after practice i went w/ashlie and yay. and possibly tomorrow morning i'm gonna go with her to her solo & ensemble which is fun :) i wanna watch my spizio kick some bass ass. lol. this weekend...today i was supposed to go to the movies with jayme and see butterfly effect BUT jayme is going up north. so bah. thentomorrow night i have no clue what i'm doing. i'm considering putting MYSELF under house arrest. and just ocmpletely becomea hermit. stop talking to people. i dont even have that many friends and osmehow i'm "too social". i just dont get it. when i'm around my friends i feel like yea i'm havin' a good time or whatnot but when i'm by myself and i'm just thinking about it & i'm like dude i'm fucking nobody. i 'm like a social outcast. but i dont get why i feel like that cuz i'm NOT i know i'm not. it's a crappy feeling. i'm really writing a lot in here and im pretty sure ashlie will not be reading all this. i'm guessing i'm gonna start updating either every day or once a week or something like to go over my week but then i'd forget somethign im portant or something and bah i'm really really stupid. i just am. i dont know why i dont know where it comes from it'slike i broke the mold of my genius family. this is boviously nota good self confidence day. can u tell? UGH!
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hm
		04:36pm 29/01/2004
	jus got back from vshow w/ash... cant talk nwo cuz if daddio hearst yping i'm fucked i'll try to update ethis more often lots to say ... cant figure out how i <3 ashlie!!!!!!!!
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psych hw
		08:42pm 28/01/2004
	if you're not ashlie, pay no attention to this Maria Ginzburg, 1-27-04 ESSAY (center it w/bigger font!!) 1. Why did early theories of child raising not recommend "pampering" the newborn? What did they feel would be the result of this? What do we know now about handling the young infant? Early theories of child raising didn't recommend pampering the newborn because psychologists believed too much love would turn a child into a social invalid. Parents were viewed as "all powerful" because they created and shaped the child's environment. It was said that if a parent treated a child as they would an dult, every child had the potential to become a genius. Now it is believed that each c hild has more or less a genetic predisposition. Infants and babies require care and human contact to survive and thrive, but unless they are seriously neglected, children develop and mature however nature wants them to. 2. Historically, what are reasons why the concept of childhood and adolescence were not regarded as important stages? What effect did the industrial revolution have on views about development? In the Middle Ages, adults did not think childhood was a unique or important stage of life. A child went from being a small toddler that was unable to work straight to a short adult as soon as he could do labor. Seven year old children were graduated directly into adulthood. Children were seen as miniature adults. During the Renaissance, John Locke proposed the idea that an infant's mind was a "blank slate" and the parents were responsible for shaping the child's character. His idea of treatment of children was strict but more humane than Watson's. The effect of the Renaissance was that children got more attention and it was shown that while they were physically mature enough for laber at perhaps the age of eight or nine, mentally they weren't. 3. Compare and contrast the views of Watson and Gesell. Gesell believed that what parents do in raising their children is of no or little consequence in the outcome of the child, because of its genetic blueprint for development. Watson, on the other hand, held parents fully responsible for the development of their child. Watson said how well the child develops is based on how strictly the parents raise it, while Gesell claimed all you have to do is have the child, give him basic needs, and he'll thrive on his own. The one thing that both psychologists strongly agreed on was that child development was most definitely worth being studied scientifically. At the time, this was only a revolutionary idea, and not many psychologists stood behind it. 4. Explain the advantages and disadvantages of naturalistic observation, experimentation, and clinical studies. In naturalistic observation, psychologists observe children in their every day environment. The advantage of this is that it allows psychologists to study phenomena as they occur in the real world. A disadvantageis that this is time consuming and expensive. While an experiment may only take half an hour, a naturalistic study can take months to complete. Also, there is always the danger that the observer's presence will alter the behavior of the observee. An experiment allows a researcher to control the situation so the effects can be precisely and accurately measured. An advantage to this is that it eliminates outside factors that could affect the results. However, this could also be used in a bad way. Sometimes if a factor is taken away a psychologist questions whether or not the findings can be generalized to real-life situation where all natural factors are included. A clinical study is a psychological assessment of a child. The advantage to this is that the questions are not limited to a particular set of observations, and are not predetermined. The researcher uses a variety of areas to learn how the subject feels or thinks. However, this can serve as a disadvantage as well. An interviewer may lead a subject towards and answer that could fit his or her particular beliefs or theories, or involve his own thoughts and feelings into the subject's responses. 5. Compare and contrast the pros and cons of cross-sectional and longitudinal research. In a longitudinal study, researchers focus on one group of people and study their actions over a long period of time. The really good thing about this is that it allows researchers to study developmental changes over time in the same group of people. However, theyr equire a long commitment and must be very carefully planned. A cross-sectional study is one where different groups of people of different ages are all studied at the same time. A major problem with this is that subjects of different ages may also have different histories behind them. They could have different backgrounds and the comparison will not tell you how a young person sees life in their 60's. Whetheror not the study works out well depends on selecting children who are alike in many characteristics. thank u sooo much sweetie.
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home sweet home
		09:42pm 26/01/2004
	i'm home...life is good...g came over sunday...meet tomorrow...yea. i'm home. life is good. things are looking up.
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what is up
		12:13am 24/01/2004
	yea i'm at state rite now.... hmm wha't's new? i just saw this movie...whats it called...the lost translations or s/t like tha ti fell asleep lol, i went ot hillel w/my sis today it was actually really cool and it turnsout i left my fone charger at home so i cant even turn my fone on til like sunday when i leave because the batery will run out and i wll have no way to contact dad.........whent o come pick me up. wow this is hard. yea...so...lol i miss willie and i miss othe rpeople and i dono y i said that cfuz i really dont miss anyone. i'm definitely bored here. i wanna go hoem. no i dont. i'mexcited for the ballet omorrow... but i wanna go home. no i don't .. ok i'm really weird at this whoel contradtingin mjyself deal. i wonder if anyone wil evne be able to read this. so weird..ok bye maria
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wow
		03:08pm 23/01/2004
	wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow definitley quite a good today today,s chool is doin' good rite now, i get wut we're doin in trig (WOOP WOOP!) and i'm just overall in a good mood omg. i just realized y i'm in such a good mood.
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eep
		07:40pm 20/01/2004
	i dont update this much anymore. but it's interesting to see how i've changed in 7 months. today...psych final...it was aite. i'ma miss certain ppl in the class ESPECIALLY chris cuz i have no classes w/him now :'( then chem...lol i chilled w/gabe & susan in the caf . & he lit susan's hair on fire which was definitely asshole-ish. after skool i went home w/g & we ate 3 bags of popcorn :-P & finished Light It Up ...SOOOO sad. wow it was really realy really sad we were both cryin damn hard. then wej us sat & chilled & blowdried her pipes (dont ask) then i went home...for like a hour...slept cuz i think i'm sick...then off to my hair appt...now i'm home. all is well. state this weekend!! -lata
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	myzzi
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