Crystal

6:29pm: New roomies!!
Dee and "Eric" (who lived with us in the old house) are gonna move in with us. Erics only stayin untill he can get his own place but Dee says hes changed alot and he doesnt do drugs anymore so i dunno. other news Amy says she might move back to ohio but shes not sure yet but shes leavin me her bed and dresser so now ill have a mirror:) and i get my own room with a lock!!!YAY!! Oh and at work the other day Stephinie and Mr.Fisher pissed me off so badly I just wanted to leave and say FUCK YOU ALL!!!! I can't stand when theat stupid bitch works with him. he never gets anything done and u can never get a hold of him cause evertime you call him up front she calls him to the pharmasy. I dont get why a pharmasy tech is on the floor in the first place! She dont fuckin belong on the floor!!! ERRRRR people can be so fuckin agnoring but whatever. well theres not much to do online anymore nobodies ever on so im gonna go find something to do.
Love ya always,
Crystal
AkA
~*FaLlEn AnGeL*~

12:00am: Been thinkin
I have been thinkin alot about the past lately and i find myself regretin alot of things that i meant to say or do. i really believe things would have been differennt if i would have expressed my feelings and how i felt about someone but i didnt and things just fell apart. i dunno....i like also find myself thinkin bout the "what ifs" like what if i told him how i felt and showed him how much i wanted to be with him would we really be together? and what if we were together? would he be happy being with me? errrr.....i'm gonna go crazy not knowin how it would have all ended. but i guess thats life for ya. you wait for so long for that speacial one only to blow it and let them slipped away. How could i have been so STUPID!!?? ill have to think some more bout this.
I love you always T.J.,
Crystal

7:44pm: Why do i even try.
i really dont get why i hold on to these things i feel when i know its just a waste of time. i just dont know how to change the way i feel to get over this. errrr....why do i have to feel things. it would be better to just be friends and not ever feel anything more.....but not with this friend i just had to fall for him and it hurts so much. its crazy i thought i would be over this by now it has been 2 yrs now. i really thought this would be so easy but its not. but whatever nobody really cares what i think anymore. okay in others news i had the day off and did not a damn thing...except i got another bata cuz they last one died from the move here so yea this one is inuyasha II. lol yea well not much more to say but that my life sucks dont know why im still alive.


_______________________
"It's hard to love you,
when you never return my love.
It's even harder,
to watch you fall for her."

11:42pm: Redbull gave me wings!!
Well i couldnt sleep last night so i watched tv and read a God's Concubine (great book by the way) and still couldn't sleep but then around 10am is when i started to get sleepy so i drank some coffee and as soon as i got to work i drank 4 redbulls then i still felt tired by lunch so i drank 3 more so when i finaly got back from lunch they kicked in and i was so hyper LOL it was great. but now im super tired and i got to be at work at 8 in the morn then i have to come home change and take the kids trick or treatin then go back home and get fixed up to go to the hunted house sometime before 12. so i have along day tomorrow and then i have to get up earily again to go to work at 8 BBBLLAAHH!!! but i got tues off so itll be all good.OHHHH!! and get this shit.......i was in the warehouse at work turnin the lights out so we can go home and the lights are twared the side door so u have to find your way back to the door well as i was turnin the lights out the song from Halloween started playin and there was a Michael Miers mask on the shelf cause someone had riped it and it scared the living day lights outta me!!! it was like sittin streight up on a shelf thats about 6ft from the ground and it totally looked like someone standin there OMG my heart was racing i ran so fast outta there it was histarical....that song still gives me the creeps whenever they play it now.
well i guess i better go to bed now.
Love always,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

5:17pm: WeLl WeLl
Yea so i'm just chilin here listening to Avril's new cd really good songs. not much to do today Amy and the kids are at Melody's and mom's at work. so im pretty bored. Also none of my friends are online so...yea boring.....yea i guess more boring talk later.
PEACE LOVE AND AFRO GREASE,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~


You came from the flowers. Innocent, cute, you see
the world in a rainbow colored perpective.
Happy, but sometimes a bit foolish.


Where did you come from?
brought to you by Quizilla

_________________________
All the pain,
I thought I knew.
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said,
Back and forth inside my head.
I can't handle this confusion,
I'm unable come and take me away.

9:09pm: Whats new with me
well in my last entry i forgot to write about some new things. well first i have 4 more friends Sarah, Ada, Kelly and Chris Fisher...hes my manager at walgreens but hes 21 so hes pretty kewl. a dork though LOL . I was suppose to go to goavaween with Sarah but i think i have to work. i really wanted to go to, she said thaSiliva, Christiana Milian and taking back sunday are supposed to be performin. errrrrrrrrr i want to go......work sucks ASSSSS!!! but i do have halloween night off to go to the haunted house in sarasota so that should be fun!!!i cant want to be scared LOL. thats weird i know but i love being scared to death its so great! i also got a new tattoo, angel wings on my back well theres only one done right now its light pink and black and fushia as the base color....its gonna have the words fallen above the wings and below them will say angel. i cant wait till its done. and when i get my first paycheck i will be gettin my lip eyebrow, libray and belly done. well not all at the same time but ya. i also stretched my first holes in my ears and i wanna get plugs to put in them not too big maybe some 12g or a 10g, there only a 14g right not but ill get them stretched again as soon as i firgure out which ones ill get.


Darkness is your passion. You can't live without it
and you're starting to turn dark. You are
interested in things that others fear,
sometimes using it against them. So much fun.
You think you're pretty dark, but that ain't
true. Better watch your back, real dark people
may find it fun to teach you a thing or two
about REAL darkness...

Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

5:28pm: well today has been a blah day
work was BORING!!!! the only thing that was good today was watchin Chris Fisher fall on his ass!!!LOL haha i never laughed so hard in my life....well except the time when mom told Tim to put alil hair around it!!!! GOD that was some funny times LOL.. anyways not much more to say so i guess ill write more later.
peace love and afro grease,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

6:10am: oh man im tired.
well today i go in at 8:00 so i gotta leave here at 7:40 and start walkin so i get there on time....errgg the only reason why this sucks assssss is i just got off at 11:00pm last night and had to get up at 5:30 to take a shower all that good stuff.....im so sleepy. but its all gravy lol. but good thing is...........IM OFF TOMORRW!!!!YAY!!!!
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

1:04am: LoNg TiMe sInCe iVe uPdAtEd.
Well i finally got my computer runnin. what to write. well first we had like four hurricane Charlie, frances, jean and i cant remeber the last one but yea alot of places were closed for days, power was out for a while and lots of trees down everywhere. what else....lets see.....oh...i got a job at walgreens, i just started a week and a half ago, YAY!! I get to dress up for halloween (not sure what ill be yet). tinkerbell had 5 kittens 3 weeks ago, errr more cats that we have to find homes for......ummmmmm.......well i guess more later.
Lots of love,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

4:57am: ShAdDeReD dReAmS
Shaddered dreams,
Broken things,
tears fall instintly.
but its to late now,
your already gone.
blood grips from my wrists,
raser blades in my fists.
The pills sit on the counter,
now the screams get louder.
As the room begins to steam,
I have one last dream.
Then with my last breath i say,
In my heart your love will stay.
and be forever.
well if ya actually read my journal's ya would know what that last verse was bout.....yeppers...and if ya know me ya would know what the poems bout....yea...neways.....love is pain...pain is love...
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

1:22am: GoD ThIs sUx ToTtAl aSs!!
LoVe EfFiN sUx!!!! WoRd oF aDvIsE nEvEr fAlL iNlOvE!!! exSpEcAlY iF yA vErY eMoTiOnAl lIkE mEe, I hAtE tHaT bOuT mEe....nE wAyS
mY lIl sIsteR jEsSiCa'S bIrThDaY iS iN 2 dAyS!!! ShE tUrNs 18!!! GoD i wIsH i kNeW wHeRe sHe wUz i rEaLlY wAnTeD 2 bEe tHeRe 4 hEr 18tH b-DaY:( tHiS tOtaLlY sUx aSs!!!mAn.....I eFfIn hAtE lIvIn iN bRaDeNtOn!!!!!!!


_____________________
"it hurts so much to feel regected, i know cause you regect me."

8:39pm: NoT LoNg NoW!!
AHHHHH.......3 MoRe dAzZ TiLl wEe mOvE iN2 tHe nEw hOuSe!!!! CaNt wAiT!!! GoTtA a LoT oF eFfIn pAcKiN 2 dO....er....ThE wOrSt pArT oF mOvIn!!!! BlAhZzZ.....oH AnD i FiNaLlY fOuNd mY RaNcId cD...WeL aCtUaLlY iT wUz mIe bRoZ bUt i SwIpEd iT fRoM hIm:) LoL WhAtS mOsT sAd bOuT lIvIn hErE i StIlL dOnT hAvE aNy FrIeNdS bUt iGuEsS iT cOuLd bE a gOoD tHiNg CuZ mY oLd fRiEnDs oNlY uSeD mE sO....aLl ExCepT TiMmY Of coUrSe:)MiSs HiM lOtS! wElLz nOt mUcH mOrE tA sAy sO PeiCeS OuT!!!!
LoVe yA,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

"the worst feelin is the feelin of regection, I know this cause you always regect me."
_________________________
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one

2:22pm: YoU aRe mY oNlY oNe!
YELLOWCARD LYRICS

"Only One"

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

i just really love that song....so true man....yea ne*ways got another tatt last night! I got lucky bear from the care bears:) and later when she gets some more needles im gonna get angel wings on my back with the words fallen angel on top!! i cant wait!!!!!
well gotta get back to packin...er....
oh and mom says HEY BABY BOY!!! well lots of love,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

5:50pm: NoT gOtTa hUrT mE
I'm not gonna let you hurt me again,
I'm not giving in.

I'm not gonna listen to your lies,
I'm not gonna break down and cry.

I'm not gonna play along to your games,
Things are just not the same.

This time,
I'm not gonna let you bring me down.

errrr....that sounded better in my head. I dont think my poems are all that good now thatI read them......

2:56pm: YoU nEvEr fUcKiN cArEd!!!
I'm already broken how much more can I break!!!!

~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~

_____________________________
Goodbye to you
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

4:02pm: GeTtIn oLd TiMmY!
HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO yOu,
HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO yOu,
HaPpY BiRtHdAy dEaR TiM, HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO yOU!

AnD mAnY mOrE oN cHaNnEl 4! LOL

Happy Birthday boy! Hope you have a blast!

HeRe'S a RoSe lIkE tHe oNe'S i UsEd tO gEt yOu:)

YeA tHaT's mY eXsCuSe! Ha

TiMmY fRoM sOuThpArK!!LOL

DrInK a BeEr fOr mEeH!!

12:29pm: YAY!!LOL
Well Aim's is gonna do another tatt on me, one is the lucky care bear and the other will be a heart on my butt with carebear written in it:) Can't wait!! not much left to say but our landlords an ass!! but hes a fine asshole LOL

2:46pm: Alrighty then
well i'm soumwut messed up since everyone kept blowin the hooka in my face! GOD i HATE that Freakin SHIT!!!errr so now im all like blah so yea......

4:13pm: FeElIn RaThEr tIrEd
WeL i wOkE uP vErY tIrEd sOo aRoUnD 1 i tOoK a nAp aNd i'M sTiLl sLeEpY!! ThIs iS nOt gOoD cUz iT mEaNs oNe oF tHoSe tHiNgS (cant remember the name) iS vErY lOw wHiCh mAkEs mE wEaK aNd tIrEd aNd tHeN mY iRoN iS lOw wHiCh mAkEs mE dIzZy aNd fAiNt aNd iN sOmE cAsEs i uSuAlLy cAn'T bReAtH....bUt yEa i'M nOt ToO wOrRiEd bOuT iT bUt mIe MoMs iS fReaKiN tElLiN mE tO tAkE mY vItAmInEs AnD dA eAt sUmFin.....i'Ll dO wHaT i UsUaLlY dO jUsT iGnOrE hEr:) sO yEp tHaTs bEn mIe dAy.....PeAcE oUt!
LoTs oF LoVe,
~*~FaLlEn AnGeL~*~


_______________________
"My hope's are so high,
that your kiss might kill me"