| Only time will tell. |
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| 08:41pm 01/10/2003 |
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mood:  hopeful music: At the Library
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I'm looking for a squat partner around central Florida. Specifically male, for reasons of safety. My e-mail address is mycrewis2x4u@yahoo.com. PLEASE respond if you qualify. Please. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Anyone can say they're your friend. |
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| 10:54pm 17/09/2003 |
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mood:  blank music: none
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Another shitty day in the life of Megan's.
Words won't even describe how dull my day went today. I remember sleeping.. then waking up and thinking about sleeping until even this verry minute.
Talking to good ol' Richie. He doesn't seem to think too greatly of himself. Which is stupid. He's great. A lot better than guys I'm dealing with now. And he has a hawk! lol.
All I can think about is how relaxing I am in other places. Without school.. Without the people around here. I hate to admit it but I really can't stand it anymore. I used to think so highly of my old friends.. and everyhting.. but now it's just different. I've met people I'm more compatable with. I may not have all that much in common with them, but _our personalities and morals are more similar_.
None of them are fake.
We stopped by Richie's today but he wasn't home. We stopped by KC's today but he wasn't home. We stopped by Vinnie's today but he wasn't home. We stopped by Stephanie's today but she wasn't home.
Pff.. People and they're damned lives.
I suppose I'll be off for tonight.
Hit me up ya'll.
xox |
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| Survey renewed. |
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| 11:08pm 16/09/2003 |
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mood:  bored music: none!!!
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APPEARANCE - hair: odd faded colors. shaved with some sort of bangs and stuff on one side. ( I have a blast w/ clippers) - eyes: hazel - height: 5'4?..
STYLE - clothing: I like skirts and pants and shirts. - music: everything, mostly hardcore, screamo, and punk. (and that good ol' threesixxx) - makeup: as much as I can cake on. I wish I were ppretty. - body art: scarifications and piercings. - piercings: ears, lebret, lip, eyebrow. - wearing: boxers - listening to: the noise the comp makes. - thinking of: a boy - feeling: hm.. no describing it.
LAST THING YOU... - bought: smokes - did: smoked a cig. - ate: ramen - read: a book - watched on tv: some lifetime movie
EITHER / OR - club or houseparty: houseparty - tea or coffee: coffee - high achiever or easy-going: both. - beer or cider: beer - drinks or shots: both! - cats or dogs: my rat. - single or taken: I don't know. when you have one you want the other. - pen or pencil: depends - gloves or mittens: gloves - food or candy: what kinda candy? lol - cassette or cd: don't care.. but uh.. cd. - snuff or cigarettes: smokes!! - coke or pepsi: coke - hard or mild alcohol: hard - matches or a lighter: both make fire. - sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: do either of them get all naked? - ricki lake or oprah winfrey: tv sucks
WHO DO YOU WANT TO... - kill: Hm.. TESSA? - slap: same person I'd like to kill.. - hear from: TJ or Rad or Adam or KC(maybe) - get really wasted with: TJ(hahaha) Richie(hahaha) Adam mike and jeff (my 3 special boys) - tickle: ... mackenzie. - look like: me? - be like: me? - avoid: many a person.
FAVORITE - food: ramen - drink: beer and red bull and tea and...... water? - color: all of them - cds: the ones I burn. - shoes: converse. - site: facethejury, and this one. plus beforeperfect.net - dance: the chicken! haha - song: many many. - vegetable: lettuce? - fruit: oranges, apples, grapes, watermelon...
DO YOU... - smoke: yes. - do drugs: yes. - drink: yes. - have sex: ... Of course! ... - sleep with stuffed animals: sometimes. - have a crush: yeah. - have a boyfriend/girlfriend: no... - have a dream that keeps coming back: na - play an instrument: eh. - believe there is life on other planets: sure - read the newspaper: no - have any gay or lesbian friends: many. - believe in miracles: no. - believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: yes. - consider yourself tolerant of others: ehh.. sometimes. - consider police a friend or foe: foe. - like the taste of alcohol: YES - have a favorite Stooge: no. - believe in astrology: ehh... nah. - believe in magic: nope. - pray: no. - go to church: No. - have any secrets: yes. - have any pets: yes. my rat.. also known as kitty or fat bitch - go to or plan to go to college: ::shrug::. - talk to strangers who instant message you: yeh. - wear hats: na - hate yourself: na. - wish on stars: yes. - like your handwriting: na. - believe in witches: yes - believe in Satan: no - believe in ghosts: na. - trust others easily: no - like sarcasm: yes - take walks in the rain: yes - sing in the shower: yes
PAST / PRESENT / FUTURE - First Grade Teacher: mrs. horton - Last song you sang: don't know. - Last thing you laughed at: Julia - Last time you said 'I love you': to KC.. It's been a while for those words to come out of my mouth.. - What's in your CD player: Kazaa - What colour socks are you wearing: no socks. - What's under your bed: vodka. lol - What time did you wake up today: fuck school.. 7:00 - Current taste: smoke - Current annoyance: boys - Current longing: love, drugs, sex, a smoke.. - Current desktop picture: black - Current worry: boys - Current hate: tessa and boys.. Yes.. there is a difference. - Story behind your journal username: my crew is too hardcore for you. -NxSxH- - Current favourite article of clothing: clothes.. - Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex/same sex: hands, eyes, lips, neck.. hair - Last CD that you bought: uh.. i don't remember. - Favourite place to be: Satellite - Least favourite place: school. - Time you wake up in the morning: 7:30 weekdays.. afternoons on weekends. - If you could play an instrument, what would it be: bass. - Do you believe in an afterlife: no. - Current favourite word/saying: fuck - Favourite books: road out of nowhere, the death penalty, communism, and a clockwork orange and less than zero, and smack. - Favourite season: winter - One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: TJ - Favourite day: friday - Where do you want to go: as far away from florida as possible.. but with my friends. - What is your career going to be like: writer/director/photographer.. etc. hopefully. - How many kids do you want: I'm 15.. too young to know. right now, none. - What kind of car will you have: point A to point B.. that's all I have to say. - A random lyric: What doesnt kill us makes us stronger - Identify some things surrounding your computer: fat bitch, sppeakers, ashtray. |
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| A day spent.. a day done. |
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| 10:29pm 16/09/2003 |
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mood:  disappointed music: Roots Radicals -Rancid
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I went to school today. Hurray me. It was as to be expected. School.
I was blown off by Adam. Heh. He rolled today. I'm happy for him. I suppose he broke up with Missy.
We got 2 new tires for Nikki's car. Then her and I went to collect the last of the angel trumpets. Prolly gonna eat them before school tomorrow.
We went around to the hospitol to warn people that Wuestoff kills. Then we ventured to the library. Tessa's was next. I hate her all over the movie A Clockwork Orange. Long story. She's a cunt.
I just found out that Richie's gf broke up with him. Hurray! Joke. He's funny though. He seems to have a new gf already. Boy does he get around. Haha. Who knows.
This entry was a lot longer and way more detailed but I got kicked off and Lost everything.
Oh well. Hopefully it doesn't happen again.
I guess it's time for me to head out of this mess.
Hit me up.
xox |
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| Just not enough.. |
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| 11:21pm 15/09/2003 |
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mood:  crushed music: The Cure for Pain -MeWithoutYou
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Not to sound selfish or anything, but nothing seems to be going my way lately.. or.. not even close to my way. Who minds though. I'm out of Nikki and Julia's this week. To where? Who knows.. I spend my weekends with Mike and Jeff and Adam. Oh yes. Lost my job at McDonalds.. what a nightmare. I'm talking to Richie right now. Sweetheart. Too bad he's never single. Ha. Hot as well. God does he chose the great ones. J/K. Anyhow, my mother has invited me to wherever she's staying right now. Prolly gonna have to attend T-ville High till Jan. Old friend Phil goes there I think. Hottie Sean too.
Well, what fun. I haven't spoken more than maybe 10 words out loud in the past few hours.. Just in one of those moods. Oh well..
I want to talk to Andrew. I don't know why.. but I really wanna talk to that cool kid in my gym class.. ha.
I believe I have to see my father this weekend. Joy.
Shit went down in school today, I almost forgot. They want to kick me out for not living with my mom. Who knows. At least I'm going to school you know? Pff. But it did kinda suck about getting the 20 questions about my livving situation/personal stuff.
Pretty much all out of things to say.. Hit me up.
xox |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Bent |
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| 11:38am 31/08/2003 |
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mood:  lazy music: Venus and Bachus -Saetia
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Wow. Party. Crazy. Too bad I slept through most of it. Kegs are beautiful. That's all I can say. I haven't updated in a verry long time. Oh well. I live with Nikki and Julia once again. Life is A-OK. I'm seeing and talking to a lot of my old friends. It's fun. We're about to go back to Julia's mother's house. More people from our school should have come. Well, I expect to be leaving soon, so I should go get dressed. |
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| Grandparents suck. |
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| 03:25pm 28/06/2003 |
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Fuck you. and Fuck this. |
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Post |
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| Once more.. |
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| 07:32am 12/04/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: New Years Eve _Casket Lottery
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I'm going to my dad's wedding reception today.. I hope I get to go see Subhumans tomorrow.. One again my Grant saves the day. heh. That would make things soooo much better. heh. I'm tired of this shit. Blah.. I suppose I'll go call my mom or dad about today.. |
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| Fuck all of you. |
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| 03:19pm 11/04/2003 |
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mood:  crappy music: teardrop -MAssive Attack
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I hate everyone. Except a few... People are so fucking messed up. I don't know what to say right now without screwing anything up that not already. I hope everyone's fucking happy. |
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| 10:41pm 05/04/2003 |
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mood:  annoyed music: Drink -Toxic Narcotic
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That was all a joke. I hope the person understands. Being fake is horrible. |
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| Joke. |
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| 10:36pm 05/04/2003 |
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mood:  creative music: Gimme 3 steps -Lynard Skynard.
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I feel as if everyone is closing in around me. I feel a connection between Gina and I. We can murder together. Kill all that deserves to die. That's what I wish could happen. We should be able to be together. We hang out all the time, things are just going crazy right now. I wish I could start my life over. Since I was 6 months old I've been abused and unloved. I just want my life back.I am the murderer. The murderer is me. |
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| A new begining.. |
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| 03:13pm 04/04/2003 |
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mood:  flirty music: something by Toys that Kill
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We got our computer today. I'll be on more often and I'll be updating more frequently as well. Tia came by tonight. She's beautiful. I hope to definately talk to her.. I suppose I'm off for the night. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| I think about you every day.. |
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| 04:44pm 27/03/2003 |
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mood:  blah music: mr. jones? -Aqua (don't ask)
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Still living.. |
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| Long time Long time.. |
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| 03:51pm 20/03/2003 |
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mood:  accomplished music: None!!!! Holy Shit!!
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Wow. It's been a while. Um.. Don't even know where to start. So, I suppose I won't even begin. I need time to put everything in one entry. Uh.. Ok.. Just letting everyone know that me and Julia are alive. Peace out? Later.. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Long while.. |
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| 10:17am 28/02/2003 |
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mood:  blah music: Scared of Girls -Placebo
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APPEARANCE - hair: Hm.. blue, black, blonde, pink, purple mohawk with muh bangs.. - eyes: hazel - height: 5'4?..
STYLE - clothing: anythin that keeps me covered. - music: everything, mostly hardcore, screamo, and punk. - makeup: eyeliner and lipgloss - body art: scarifications and piercings. - piercings: ears, lebret, lip. - wearing: PJ's - listening to: "Bigmouth Strikes Again" -Placebo - thinking of: getting back what I used to have.. - feeling: shitty.. I have mono.
LAST THING YOU... - bought: chex mix - did: woke up? - ate: crackers - read: this stuff - watched on tv: Joe Millionare
EITHER / OR - club or houseparty: houseparty - tea or coffee: coffee - high achiever or easy-going: both. - beer or cider: beer - drinks or shots: both! - cats or dogs: cats - single or taken: wish I belonged to someone.... - pen or pencil: depends - gloves or mittens: gloves - food or candy: food - cassette or cd: don't care.. but uh.. cd. - snuff or cigarettes: smokes!! - coke or pepsi: coke - hard or mild alcohol: hard - matches or a lighter: both make fire. - sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: ? - ricki lake or oprah winfrey: hate tv
WHO DO YOU WANT TO... - kill: it's a secret. - slap: same person I'd like to kill.. - hear from: Rad or Dan.. - get really wasted with: Tia, Rad, Nikki, Julia.. - tickle: ... mackenzie. - look like: me? - be like: me? - avoid: many a person.
FAVORITE - food: salads, fruit - drink: Code Red, Red Bull - color: all of them - cds: the ones I burn. - shoes: converse. - site: facethejury, and this one. - dance: who knows. - song: many many. - vegetable: carrots? - fruit: oranges, apples, grapes, watermelon...
DO YOU... - smoke: yes. - do drugs: yes. - drink: yes. - have sex: ... - sleep with stuffed animals: sometimes. - have a crush: yeah. - have a boyfriend/girlfriend: no... - have a dream that keeps coming back: yeh - play an instrument: eh. - believe there is life on other planets: sure - read the newspaper: no - have any gay or lesbian friends: many. - believe in miracles: no. - believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: yes. - consider yourself tolerant of others: ehh.. sometimes. - consider police a friend or foe: foe. - like the taste of alcohol: YES - have a favorite Stooge: no. - believe in astrology: ehh... nah. - believe in magic: nope. - pray: no. - go to church: No. - have any secrets: yes. - have any pets: yes. - go to or plan to go to college: ::shrug::. - talk to strangers who instant message you: yeh. - wear hats: na - hate yourself: na. - wish on stars: yes. - like your handwriting: na. - believe in witches: yes - believe in Satan: no - believe in ghosts: na. - trust others easily: no - like sarcasm: yes - take walks in the rain: yes - sing in the shower: yes
PAST / PRESENT / FUTURE - First Grade Teacher: mrs. horton - Last song you sang: don't know. - Last thing you laughed at: Julia - Last time you said 'I love you': to mackenzie - What's in your CD player: Kazaa - What colour socks are you wearing: no socks. - What's under your bed: our matresses lay on the floor. - What time did you wake up today: 10:00.. - Current taste: tooth paste - Current annoyance: everything hurts. - Current longing: love, drugs, sex, a smoke.. - Current desktop picture: clouds.. - Current worry: nothing. - Current hate: nothing. - Story behind your journal username: my crew is too hardcore for you. -NxSxH- - Current favourite article of clothing: clothes.. - Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex/same sex: hands, eyes, lips, neck.. - Last CD that you bought: uh.. i don't remember. - Favourite place to be: Julia's. - Least favourite place: school. - Time you wake up in the morning: 7:30 weekdays.. afternoons on weekends. - If you could play an instrument, what would it be: bass. - Do you believe in an afterlife: no. - Current favourite word/saying: cry me a river... Bleck.. t'was a joke. - Favourite books: a boy called it, vanishing, yosimitee murders - Favourite season: winter - One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: TJ - Favourite day: friday - Where do you want to go: as far away from florida as possible.. but with my friends. - What is your career going to be like: writer/director/photographer.. etc. hopefully. - How many kids do you want: I'm 15.. too young to know. right now, none. - What kind of car will you have: one that works.. - A random lyric: "I see black and white, you see only grey" - Identify some things surrounding your computer: cd's, phone, speakers, pens, etc. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| What an unexpected turn around.. |
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| 10:33am 17/02/2003 |
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mood:  cranky music: Bring the Pain -Mindless Self Indulgence
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Our weekend was full of rap music, country music, professional rap dancers, girls who let their bf's beat them, hicks, beer, southern comfort, smokes, and Larry. We went to the 80's prom on friday though..... I can't believe we were talked in to missin fuckin PR... I'm soooo fucking stupid. All for a couple of drinks. Damn. Julia is sleeping still.. this is kinda "our" journal now.. We hung out with Vinny and Tim.. poor boy, Tim is.. I mean.. he could do soooooooooooo much better than what he is now. Theres nothing thats gonna change his mind though.. he has to think about it himself. Vinny and Julia have a thing. It's cute. I gave Julia a haircut yesterday.. I think it loks good. she thinks its a lil too short.. but hey.. whatcha gonna do? Nothing. Nikki came down. Next fucking time she's telling her dad she's with us and not tessa so that she can chill with us and shit.. and not get stuck alone with tessa. lol. I dunno.. I gotta get going.. |
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| Open sky.. Open ether.. |
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| 11:48am 13/02/2003 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Open Sky - Distillers
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I'm in a good mood. Kinda lazy.. I didn't go to school today. I wanna get up and do something. It's still early though. I'm going to my mom's tonihgt. This weekend is gonna be cool, hopefully. Theres a bunch of shows. I'm listening to the distillers, which is something I haven't listened to in a while. I love them. Ah.. I want to talk to my Nikki!!!!! God it's been almost a week. Julia is sleeping. I'm gonna go fix some food, have a smoke, and shower.. |
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| Today's a new day.. |
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| 03:46pm 07/02/2003 |
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mood:  busy music: Face Down, Ass Up -some techno shit of Julia's.
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Haven't written in a few days.. No time anymore. Hell, no computer either. Last weekend was fucking incredible. That's all I have to say. Man.. I haven't talked to anyone (incl. Rad, Tia, Nikki, etc..) in a while. Chris e-mailed me. He likes Nikki a lot.. it's cute as hell. lol. Well, Julia just sneezed and smacked her head on the TV.. it's funny as fuck. lol. She's bleeding and shit.. heh. Big party tonight. Booze, beer, drugs, sex.. should be fun. haha.. Just jokin about the sex.. I dunno right now. I REALLY wanna go to the show. but I dunno if I'll be making it. I should go. Hello to everyone I haven't talked to in a while. Miss you guys. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Look up to the skies and see.. |
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| 08:06pm 30/01/2003 |
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mood:  anxious music: Bohemian Rhapsody -Queen
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I went to the doctors today. Theres a lot of shit wrong with me. haha. I feel like crap. but.. Eh, I have to feel better for the weeknd. I may be seeing Tia. Hopefully. Then Rad is going to be here.. with Chris. I'm determined to hook Chris and Nikki up. Only for fun though.. Understand? I can't stop thinking about having both Rad, and Tia. Wow. Its wild. haha. I love Nikki too though. She thinks this is all changing.. but it's NOT! She's my un-lesbian lover. Heh. Love that girl with all there is in me. I been pissed about my mom's guy. I'm going to Julia's tomorrow. I can't take it here any longer and all my "stuff" is there. lol. I have a lighter finally. I've been forgetting to get one while I've been out.. and I FINALLY remembered. So I'm happy. God.. I've smoked 1 pack in like.. well since Tuesday. Ah.. I can feel it too. lol. I been making that pack last forever though.. lol. Rad completely turns me on. hahaha. No lie. Grr.. I'll tear him up! HAHAH.. The fun I'm going to have this weekend couldn't compare to.. well, anything! Ah! lol. I wanna get naked pics of him and put them all over. lol. I'll put em on my journal.. I'll print them out and give them to my friends.. NOT. lol. but hey, nakie pics of Rad would not be a bad thing. hah. Well, still thinking about Tia.. Wouldn't mind nakie pics of her either ::wink:: gonna go |
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