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[28 Apr 2004|03:16pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | sufjan stevens- alanson, crooked river ]

letsbepassionat: sup sexy
Th0masAD: jus chillin
Th0masAD: wrap your legs around my head so i can eat my way to your heart
letsbepassionat: hahah
Th0masAD: my friend told me some random guy on the beach came up to her and said that
letsbepassionat: it was me
Th0masAD: its one awesome pick up line
Th0masAD: hahaha
Th0masAD: it probably was you
letsbepassionat: ahahah
Th0masAD: you love to eat out for dinner
letsbepassionat: oh i got you a birthday present
letsbepassionat: wanna see it?
Th0masAD: hahaha sure
letsbepassionat: hold on let me get a picture of it
letsbepassionat: okay direct connect
letsbepassionat wants to directly connect.
letsbepassionat cancels request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
letsbepassionat:
COME ON
Th0masAD wants to directly connect.
Th0masAD is now directly connected.

letsbepassionat:
Th0masAD: hahahaha
letsbepassionat: hahah
Th0masAD: you know you bought that for yourself
letsbepassionat: pshhh
Th0masAD: to snack on
letsbepassionat: pshh whateva
letsbepassionat: no actually
letsbepassionat: i seriously got you something
Th0masAD: hahaha
letsbepassionat:
Th0masAD: hahahah

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[20 Mar 2004|11:34am]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | Black eyes - king's dominion ]

I haven't written in this forever and frankly it hurts to look back at it. It reminds me of how lame I was. I'm so gay.

fuck this shit.

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jesus [14 Mar 2003|10:30am]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | Jesus christ superstar - I have to know ]

Last night my friend Tosh spent the night and she stayed up talking to her boyfriend, or um love interest Josh. My best friend.

here's how it went.

Sweetsacredbliss: hey. what if i just talk to you now that way you dont have to worry about it?
Deadkennedy02: ok
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh* on here or phone
Deadkennedy02: here
Sweetsacredbliss: um.
Sweetsacredbliss: distractions...
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh* i guess.
Sweetsacredbliss: everything i have to say isnt going to fit in this small margin though
Deadkennedy02: yeah it will
Deadkennedy02: its called maximizing
Deadkennedy02: and then if you run out of room
Deadkennedy02: enter
Deadkennedy02: then keep typing
Sweetsacredbliss: and you dont think telling you away from the distractions on the internet might help you listen to what im saying a little better
Deadkennedy02: uhm
Deadkennedy02: im not really doing anything
Deadkennedy02: so i dont see a problem
Sweetsacredbliss: your not talking to anyone else. i thought that was the point of being online
Sweetsacredbliss: doing something.
Deadkennedy02: notr really
Deadkennedy02: me being online so i can dl songs
Deadkennedy02: stop wasting time and start typing
Sweetsacredbliss: or instead of wasting your fucking time i guess my feelings wouldnt matter much....since im so fucking pushy and bitchy why do you even fucking bother
Sweetsacredbliss: it seems as though you would rahter just get it over with as if youve heard this before
Deadkennedy02: whatever
Deadkennedy02: this is why i didnt want to do it, because youd just bitch and moan and not tell me anything
Sweetsacredbliss: i want to thats why i asked. fucking a. why the hell would i even try if i didnt have anything to say.
Deadkennedy02: fuck tosh
Deadkennedy02: whatever, if you cant handle talking about something important then forget it
Sweetsacredbliss: no i can thts why i wanted to talk in person. no hanging up no ignoring. but i get the feeling you dont have time to
Sweetsacredbliss: it doesnt seem like you ever have time to. and i know your busy and all but fuck. you have time for everyone else
Deadkennedy02: again, its all about you isnt it? you always think i never ever have time for you, what makes you think im out and about with everyone but you? maybe i didnt want to talk to you either, because youd just complain and basically tell me how bad of a person i am and shit
Sweetsacredbliss: no. your completely fucking wrong. all i do is want to workout things with you. all i do is say how i want to be able to have a friendship with you. and yet i try to explain what the problems are and you act as if there only yours. no there both of ours. its not all you beleive me.
Deadkennedy02: whatever, im wrong all the time right? if you want to work things out how bout you try to be a little more mature and actually start a convo without you throwing insults at me?
Deadkennedy02: you didnt even let the convo start and you started bitchin
Sweetsacredbliss: this is part of it josh
Deadkennedy02: Sweetsacredbliss: or instead of wasting your fucking time i guess my feelings wouldnt matter much....since im so fucking pushy and bitchy why do you even fucking bother
Sweetsacredbliss: thats part of how i feel.
Deadkennedy02: i didnt even get to say anything to a nice calm question or anything
Deadkennedy02: you just start slinging shit at me
Deadkennedy02: thats why i didnt want to talk
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh* im sorry. im just really fucking stressed. and everythings been buildng up thats why i wanted to do this sooner.
Sweetsacredbliss: you just.
Sweetsacredbliss: i mean it would be a lot easier in front of you. it harder to let out anger that way
Sweetsacredbliss: its*
Deadkennedy02: no it wouldnt
Deadkennedy02: cuz id be pissed off
Deadkennedy02: you arent even handling this in a good way, skipped over the basics and went right to the venting
Sweetsacredbliss: why would you be pissed off. its not like i havent had a calm conversation with ou about how ive felt before.
Sweetsacredbliss: im upset. im sure you know the feeling you do it to me too. just without words
Deadkennedy02: wow
Deadkennedy02: that made me feel great@
Deadkennedy02: now i understand why you wasted your time with me
Deadkennedy02: because im the biggest ass in the world
Sweetsacredbliss: your not josh.
Sweetsacredbliss: not all the time
Sweetsacredbliss: or else i wouldnt have wasted my time with you
Deadkennedy02: oh but i am
Sweetsacredbliss: how is that?
Deadkennedy02: Ok, im done arguing, im just going to say what i had planned to say
Sweetsacredbliss: i say something nice and you say that im wrong
Deadkennedy02: I think you shoud move, i think you should get away from here, because youre happier there. And it seems that if youre here, youre always pissed of or sad or depressed. There youre spirit is up and everything is peachy keen. And i think you would like it better, and anything that makes you that happy should be done, and i dont want to be in the way of that.
Sweetsacredbliss: your not josh. i thought it would also be better for you.
Deadkennedy02: No, it wouldnt
Deadkennedy02: but thats not the point
Deadkennedy02: im better off then most people here, and for you to be as gleeful as you were, id kill and sacrifice to give that to you, because that kind of feeling shouldnt be taken from somone
Deadkennedy02: even if it means for me to miss you, its not like id never see you again, or stop talking to you, or stop thinking about you.
Deadkennedy02: meg moved
Deadkennedy02: i still talk to her
Deadkennedy02: sierra moved, i still talk to her, i even saw her over valentines day break
Sweetsacredbliss: ever since ive moved here everything between me and you has been down hill and i hate that. i regret it most of all yet again i dont because i did in fact move here to be with you. to be around you because it hurt not being able to see you. and i still regret the fact that ive changed everything, ive somehow done something wrong to fuck things up. i hate it. in a sense i think im smothering you or we see eachother to much. and i feel like im just standing in the way. maybe being away from yu was a good thing. maybe me being here is too much.
Deadkennedy02: but thats not the point, the point is YOU being happy
Deadkennedy02: more then a few minutes or hours
Sweetsacredbliss: no its not this isnt all about me. if i recall i was the one called selfish and abondoning my friends if you remember correctly. and that compells me because i honestly didnt think you would cares a much as it seems you do. i want to leave for you. for me. and for a lot of reasons. i dont think this is for my happiness i think its partcially for yours too
Deadkennedy02: no, in this case
Deadkennedy02: its about both of us
Deadkennedy02: because if youre happy, then so am i
Sweetsacredbliss: thats not true
Deadkennedy02: yes it is
Sweetsacredbliss: i could be happy here.
Deadkennedy02: but you arent
Sweetsacredbliss: i want to know what you feel about me. you just want to be friends correct? this is what ive been going off of.
Deadkennedy02: yes
Sweetsacredbliss: this is what im trying to make work but the more i think about it, it cant work.
Sweetsacredbliss: i could try. but there always going to be something in the way of our friendship, seeing how we dont have any friendship to go by.
Deadkennedy02: how could you say that?
Sweetsacredbliss: how often do we actually have a conversation, a conversatoin that means something. i normally hear how you feel by someone else. you never tell me. what kind of a friendship would we have if we never share our thoughts.
Deadkennedy02: my god
Deadkennedy02: i cant believe you
Deadkennedy02: just because i dont completley spill my guts doesnt mean we're not friends, have you ever thought of me not doing so because i dont want to touch a certain area of conversation because of what it might cause?
Sweetsacredbliss: it would help more than anything. how much have we caused just by not telling eachother.
Deadkennedy02: no it wouldn
Sweetsacredbliss: we never tell eachother. and if we do its rare.
Sweetsacredbliss: why wouldnt it?
Deadkennedy02: because it might piss someone off
Sweetsacredbliss: what purpose im i to you josh? what am i to you? why do you want to be friends? i need to know i honestly do. because i dont know how ive done anything for you. i dont know why i seems so meaningless and then i finally do something i finally do something about all this shit and then it seems as if you do indeed care,
Deadkennedy02: jesus, why are you soo worried about how much we are friends? i dunno, i think of you as a friend because ive known you for so long, ive talked to you about things i wouldnt ever open my mouth to other people, youre there, i mean what the fuck tosh, why wouldnt i want you as a friend?
Sweetsacredbliss: it doesnt seem so. yu say you do but by action it just doesnt seem so sometimes.
Deadkennedy02: ugh
Deadkennedy02: its like talking to a brick wall tosh, who else would i let come over and cuddle with me? who else would i complain about abortion and bitch so in depth about people and share feelings and comments?
Sweetsacredbliss: just by the things i hear sometimes it just doesnt seem like you do.
Deadkennedy02: hmm, and what do you hear from whom? and why the fuck are you even listening to twisted around bullshit
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh*
Deadkennedy02: you should know better
Sweetsacredbliss: because of the things you have done.. its hard to trust only what you say. im trying to but sometimes im just afraid you going to pull something on me again.
Sweetsacredbliss: and this whole friendship seems one sided.
Sweetsacredbliss: im always there for yo josh when havent i, unless ive been pushed away
Sweetsacredbliss: you*
Deadkennedy02: how many times have i "pulled" something on you?
Sweetsacredbliss: skalapolooza, libby, fucking white lies. little shit. although it does matter believe it or not. a lot of the things you do matter. and im sure my actions do to because it seems youd rather be there when i dont need you than when i really do
Deadkennedy02: skalapolooza
Deadkennedy02: ?
Deadkennedy02: whens the last time i lied to you?
Sweetsacredbliss: i dont know. youve had time to see me all week and havent been up to it. maybe im wrong but it seemed as though you were trying to get out of it or put it off
Deadkennedy02: actually i haventy
Deadkennedy02: and maybe youre just paranoid?
Sweetsacredbliss: maybe i am. but do i not have a reason to be.
Deadkennedy02: wow
Deadkennedy02: if you feel that way then why still look to me as a person at all?
Sweetsacredbliss: believe it or not your character has a lot to do with being human
Deadkennedy02: i didnt say human, i said a person
Sweetsacredbliss: people are human
Sweetsacredbliss: and person would be too
Deadkennedy02: no, there is a vast difference
Sweetsacredbliss: you know what i mean josh...why are we even argueing abou this
Sweetsacredbliss: about*
Deadkennedy02: a person is someone you can rely on, a person is the psyche that a human grows and exhibits, a human is the basic species catagory
Sweetsacredbliss: yeah. whatever it doesnt matter at this point
Sweetsacredbliss: theres reasons why i dont want to be friends and theres s lot of reasons i want to work things out.
Deadkennedy02: you dont want to be friends?
Deadkennedy02: but you want to work it out
Deadkennedy02: what you mean is to settle things so you can get shit off your chest, yes?
Sweetsacredbliss: not exactly josh.
Sweetsacredbliss: i mean a lot of things
Deadkennedy02: hmpf, it seems as though you dont want to be anything with me, and you want to move one
Sweetsacredbliss: can you blame me?
Sweetsacredbliss: sometimes i cant handle this on top of everything else.
Deadkennedy02: how heartless
Deadkennedy02: really now, i didnt know you could be so cold
Sweetsacredbliss: not heartless. im not finished
Deadkennedy02: but you are
Sweetsacredbliss: no. im not.
Sweetsacredbliss: or do you just want me to be. when really i have much to say
Deadkennedy02: oh, but you are
Deadkennedy02: ive think youve hit the nail too deep this time
Deadkennedy02: i never thought that you could make me feel this shitty
Deadkennedy02: really, that hurt more then a broken heart tosh...
Sweetsacredbliss: josh. i dont know what to fucking do.
Sweetsacredbliss: tell me what the fuck to do.
Sweetsacredbliss: i cant handle this. i really cant.
Sweetsacredbliss: i fucking going insane.
Sweetsacredbliss: i want to be friends with your i really do. but your not allowing me to.
Sweetsacredbliss: you*
Sweetsacredbliss: and you know i feel more. and this just makes it harder because i know you dont.
Deadkennedy02: no i am, but i dont think thats such a good idea anymore
Sweetsacredbliss: and your reason for that would be what?
Deadkennedy02: seeing as you dont want to be friends
Sweetsacredbliss: no. josh. no.
Deadkennedy02: Sweetsacredbliss: theres reasons why i dont want to be friends
Sweetsacredbliss: there are reasons, josh. that doesnt mean i just plainly dont want to be friends
Sweetsacredbliss: if you rememberand theres s lot of reasons i want to work things out.
Deadkennedy02: but there is none
Deadkennedy02: i dont see any, and im sure that there are few
Deadkennedy02: so whats the point
Sweetsacredbliss: so what your saying is you dont have e reason to be my friend either. is that it?
Sweetsacredbliss: a*
Sweetsacredbliss: i have a reason.
Sweetsacredbliss: i have a reason for wanting to be with you.
Sweetsacredbliss: i have reasons for wanting to be your friend or i would have ended things a long time ago.
Sweetsacredbliss: so is that it? you dont want to be friends?
Sweetsacredbliss: is that it?
Deadkennedy02: i guess so
Sweetsacredbliss: and you throw it in my face.
Sweetsacredbliss: and yet you want the sae. how fucking hypocritical
Sweetsacredbliss: same*
Sweetsacredbliss: i wanted so fucking badly to be with you josh. i dont think you understand how much i feel for you. and i guess im not enough, you need more. you need something else. and yet im nothing. im absolutely fucking nothing to you.
Deadkennedy02: sure, if you want to think that way then why not?
Sweetsacredbliss: well i dont see anyone trying to convince me other wise
Deadkennedy02: because its not worth it, because youre stubborn, always have been always will be
Sweetsacredbliss: how can you say that.
Deadkennedy02: becuase its true
Sweetsacredbliss: that i wouldnt believe you. how can i believe you if im never told
Sweetsacredbliss: you have no response to how i feel for you. it seems as if you leave it alone because you dont want to tell me how you feel
Deadkennedy02: maybe i dont want to hurt
Deadkennedy02: or be hurt
Sweetsacredbliss: i dont want some serious relationship right now and im sure you dont either. were young we should have fun. we should be with other people. we should experience.
Deadkennedy02: where the fuck did that come from?
Deadkennedy02: who said anything about relationship?
Sweetsacredbliss: omg.
Sweetsacredbliss: do you not understand.
Sweetsacredbliss: i get the feeling you think i want something more im trying to explain i dont right now.
Sweetsacredbliss: im telling you how i feel. or is that new?
Deadkennedy02: again
Deadkennedy02: i feel the cold
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh* and so do i
Deadkennedy02: well at least im not being a complete bitch
Sweetsacredbliss: im sorry. does it really happen that often?
Sweetsacredbliss: im i that bad.
Sweetsacredbliss: im trying to get a point across.
Sweetsacredbliss: what do you think i feel for you i honestly want to know?
Deadkennedy02: im not sure
Deadkennedy02: how can i say what you think?
Sweetsacredbliss: you cant and i cant say what you think thats why i want to talk. i want to know
Sweetsacredbliss: i want to understand so i can stop hoping. so i can stop trying if thats what you want
Sweetsacredbliss: i want to know what you want
Deadkennedy02: i want to be alone right now
Sweetsacredbliss: and by what do you mean by that? no friendship no nothing.
Deadkennedy02: i just cant even think
Deadkennedy02: im so turned around by how this turned out, i dont even want to type
Sweetsacredbliss: can we finish on the phone i dont want it to end like this
Sweetsacredbliss: this conversation
Deadkennedy02: no, i just want to be alone
Sweetsacredbliss: thats it.
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh* im sorry josh.
Sweetsacredbliss: i really am. i didnt want to put this all off on you
Sweetsacredbliss: i didnt
Sweetsacredbliss: and if i leave i will miss you dont think i wont
Sweetsacredbliss: i will miss you more than anything.
Sweetsacredbliss: after ryan your all i have to fall back on maybe not stable at this point but your there, or i hoped you would be
Sweetsacredbliss: *sigh* i guess ill go.
Sweetsacredbliss: leave with that. and when you feel like talking just call.
Sweetsacredbliss: ill hopefully be home this weekend.
Sweetsacredbliss: bye joshua

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[23 Feb 2003|09:08am]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | the faint - glass danse ]

I have a mixed tape that i've named unfortunatly called "Mushy love songs and beyond"
I'm actually wondering if anybody would like to trade.

Side A:
the distillers- Red carpet and rebellion
Kind of like spitting - he calls me
tsunami bomb - the simple truth
The (international) noise conspiracy- only lovers left alive
Koufax - It had to do with love
Further seems forever - Justice Prevails
Azure Ray - Displaced
Evanescence- Bring me to life (yeah I know trendy radio song but, it's basically the only kind of rock i like besides glassjaw.)
Hum - stars
Brand new - Jude law and a semester abroad
Belle and Sebastian - if you're feeling sinister


Side B
Desaperacidos - hole in one
Eve 6- here's to the nights
Fugazi - Suggestion (it accidently got cut off)
Bright eyes- Pull my hair
Cursive - sink to the beat
Jazz June - the phone works both ways
Bright eyes - it's cool, we can still be friends
Brandston - summer in saint claire
Joe strummer and the mescaleroes - Global a go-go.

and that's it. PLEASE somebody trade with me. I will <3 you forever and ever.

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I have a confession [08 Feb 2003|11:54am]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | Cursive- sink to the beat ]

DistillersG (11:47:55 AM): wassup
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:48:09 AM): nada
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:48:14 AM): i'm at jay's house
DistillersG (11:48:22 AM): fun
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:48:24 AM): yourself?
DistillersG (11:48:36 AM): coughing
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:49:06 AM): haha
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:49:08 AM): good times
DistillersG (11:49:30 AM): no it's pretty crappy actuallly
DistillersG (11:49:45 AM): I had some lesbian sex earlier while watching gay male porn
DistillersG (11:49:46 AM): it was fun
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:49:59 AM): lol
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:50:01 AM): good job
DistillersG (11:50:04 AM): yep
DistillersG (11:50:08 AM): my friend natasha is over
DistillersG (11:50:11 AM): and I was drunk
DistillersG (11:50:12 AM): more good times
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:50:17 AM): lol
xSNAPPLECOREx (11:50:19 AM): sweet
DistillersG (11:51:49 AM): I have a journal, for conversations alone.. and none of them are interesting

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[16 Jan 2003|04:16pm]
DistillersG: I'm late.
Deadkennedy02:what
DistillersG: I'm late.
Deadkennedy02: umm, i dont need to know that
DistillersG: lmao
DistillersG: hahaha
DistillersG: jk
DistillersG:I"M PREGNANT WITh 29387429374293874 OF YOUR BABIES
3 comments|post comment

[03 Jan 2003|10:18pm]
w0RST day ever (10:16:40 PM): *humps ken!*
kenny rocks you (10:16:46 PM): *UNHUMPS CARRIE*
PierresObsession (10:16:47 PM): *humps Kenny*
kenny rocks you (10:16:51 PM): NO!
kenny rocks you (10:16:54 PM): NO HUMPING KENNY!
MalignantKitty (10:16:59 PM): *humpityhumpity's Ken*
kenny rocks you (10:17:03 PM): KENNY HUMPING IS OVER!!!!!
kenny rocks you (10:17:07 PM): a;jfd;alskjfd;alskdmv;sdlkj!
PierresObsession (10:17:11 PM): *humps Kenny more*
1 comment|post comment

[24 Nov 2002|05:23pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | All american rejects - Don't leave me ]

I don't have any interesting convos

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OK yeah.. i really want this kid to talk to me. [13 Nov 2002|06:20pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | Guttermouth - I'm punk ]

brodyblitz: hi.
lo fi or die: hi
brodyblitz: Uh, I don't know if I got the right screen name. My name is Meghan, I've from livejournal.
lo fi or die: im joel
brodyblitz: I'm DistillersG on livejournal.
lo fi or die: hello
brodyblitz: hello.
brodyblitz: whats up?
lo fi or die: nothing sitting in the computer lab
brodyblitz: Sounds fun.
brodyblitz: I have a week off of school, so i get to veg around the house.
lo fi or die: right on
brodyblitz: heh, not really. I have to unpack boxes today. So, from my absense from school I Have to make it up in housework -gag-
lo fi or die: oh, im sorry
brodyblitz: eeks, sorry, I'm probably boring you with my non-important conversations.. and/or tearing you away from school work.
lo fi or die: nope not doing school work, kinda sitting
brodyblitz: ah I see. Then I'm just boring you. makes sense
lo fi or die: your not boring me, im just not really paying attention to anything
brodyblitz: I see I see.
brodyblitz: so joel, hows life?
lo fi or die: its okay, not too bad
brodyblitz: that's good.
brodyblitz: meh, I need a life.




brodyblitz: Hello.
*** lo fi or die signed on at Fri Oct 18 22:35:03 2002.
brodyblitz: Whats up?
brodyblitz: nothing I guess..




DistillersG: Sorry I bother you so much...
*** lo fi or die signed on at Mon Oct 21 18:42:14 2002.
DistillersG: so whats up?
lo fi or die: hi, nothing
lo fi or die: you?
DistillersG: picking my nose
DistillersG: uh err nothing
DistillersG: chillin.. you know how it goes..
DistillersG: nose picking fun
DistillersG: :-x
lo fi or die:yeah
DistillersG: sorry, I babble.
DistillersG: I'll just let ya go.




DistillersG: hey
lo fi or die: hi
DistillersG: hows it going?
lo fi or die: so-so yourself?
DistillersG: I pretty happy. I have be blind for about a year now and i finally received my unbroken glasses
DistillersG: wahoO!
lo fi or die: right on
DistillersG: yep! my life is complete
DistillersG: ick.. unless I can't make that INC show.. dammit
DistillersG: so watcha doing?
lo fi or die: research for a paper... such is the college life
DistillersG: ah yes. I must enjoy my highschool years.. all i have to do is read a short story about commas.


DistillersG: hi
lo fi or die: hi
DistillersG: how are you?
lo fi or die: im ok
lo fi or die: you?
DistillersG: I"m mousesactastic.
DistillersG: absolutely oroisocotic
DistillersG: haha sorry, i'm making up words




Ya think I'm annoying him?

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oh that sucked. [03 Nov 2002|12:02pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Dashboard Confessional - So impossible ]

yellowcard0001: hey
DistillersG: hey
yellowcard0001: is phoenix ok?
DistillersG: ??
DistillersG: what?
DistillersG: what about him?
yellowcard0001: like he never comes online anymore and his deadjournal got deleted so i am worried
DistillersG: oh my god..
DistillersG: you didn't hear.
yellowcard0001: what?
yellowcard0001: no
DistillersG: he died like, I don't know, maybe a month ago.
yellowcard0001: shut up
DistillersG: I'm serious
yellowcard0001: no ur not
DistillersG: yes i am
yellowcard0001: because if u are thats not funny
DistillersG: I am serious. I'm not kidding.
yellowcard0001: omg
yellowcard0001: how?
DistillersG: I'm sorry I had to be the bearer of bad news.
yellowcard0001: why/
DistillersG: Pnuemonia.
yellowcard0001: i am speechless
DistillersG: I'm sorry.
yellowcard0001: how r u doing?
yellowcard0001: r u ok?
DistillersG: I'm ok.
yellowcard0001: how id eric?
yellowcard0001: is*
DistillersG: I was kind of looking back on it last night when I was at Dashboard.
DistillersG: He's shitty.
yellowcard0001: aww
yellowcard0001: really?
DistillersG: yeah
yellowcard0001: i hope he gets ok

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[01 Nov 2002|10:22pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Spiderman movie ]

Here's a convo with my ex-boyfriend he just recently lost his boyfriend.


DistillersG: hey sweetie, how you doing?
Punkishmunk: I'm doing ok..
DistillersG: *nod* I've not see you in a while.
Punkishmunk: I've been busy
DistillersG: I see. Are you still a teachers assistant.
Punkishmunk: no, I quit. Little kids are starting to annoy me.
DistillersG: They are....
Punkishmunk: yeah
DistillersG: I thought you loved little kids.
Punkishmunk: nah
DistillersG: oh...
DistillersG: so, hows his parents
Punkishmunk: How the fuck would I know? You think I talk to those people.
DistillersG: well, I hoped since you were his boyfriend and all.
Punkishmunk: they've never done anything for him. Why should I do anything for them.
DistillersG: I see.
DistillersG: Well, I miss you. Maybe we could hang sometime?
Punkishmunk: I'll look into it.
DistillersG: please?! I know you're going through a rough time. I mean, yeah, I don't know what it's like to loose a boyfriend, but it's his family. and I think they deserve to know what happened to their son.
Punkishmunk: Why should they know? They probably wont give a fuck.
DistillersG: FINE! I will tell them.
Punkishmunk: Fine.
DistillersG: hey Eric.
Punkishmunk: WHat?!
DistillersG: sorry.. i just wanted to say that I'm sorry.
Punkishmunk: I'm sorry too.
Punkishmunk: Call me mk?
DistillersG: ok
Punkishmunk: I love ya megs
DistillersG: lub yoo too
Punkishmunk: bye
DistillersG: bye
*** Punkishmunk signed off at Fri Nov 01 20:20:59 2002.

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LAWSON ROCKS [27 Oct 2002|10:48pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Nekromantix - curse of the coffin ]

Lawson is Dumb: well that's pretty lame
DistillersG: haha
DistillersG: i know
Lawson is Dumb: thanks for wasting my precious time
DistillersG: yikes
DistillersG: sorry
Lawson is Dumb: you should be
DistillersG: psh
DistillersG: whatev
DistillersG: so how was the rest of the show?
DistillersG: I left early
Lawson is Dumb: it was great, you suck for leaving
DistillersG: i'm sorry, I had to
DistillersG: I was tired
DistillersG: I saw like half of the TA set
Lawson is Dumb: the second half was the best
DistillersG: aww
DistillersG: you suck
Lawson is Dumb: no, you suck for leaving
DistillersG: i no
DistillersG: kno
Lawson is Dumb: "know"
DistillersG: shut uP!
DistillersG: I NO HOW TO SPELLL
Lawson is Dumb: of course you do
DistillersG: lol
DistillersG: hahah
Lawson is Dumb: the show last night was ruined by stupid punk kids though
DistillersG: ew i know
DistillersG: like23048273897 moshpits
DistillersG: I know my limits. If it's a rockabilly show, I don't mosh, if it's a ska show I don't mosh. I know my limits
Lawson is Dumb: so many pre teen girls with bandanas around spiked hair. what a bunch of stupid lamers
DistillersG: hey..
Lawson is Dumb: that's good
DistillersG: i had a bandana
DistillersG: and spikey hair
DistillersG: shut up!
DistillersG: lol
DistillersG: Britney spears was there.
Lawson is Dumb: you and 50 million other girls. i thought punk was about originality
DistillersG: hey hey hey
Lawson is Dumb: it's true
DistillersG: yeah, but the only reason I wear it is because it's the only thing that looks good in my hair.
Lawson is Dumb: so, how do you explain plaid pants and t shirts with no sleeves
DistillersG: whoa.. are we putting me on trial here?
Lawson is Dumb: yes
DistillersG: what have i've done to make you upset?
DistillersG: i have one pair of plaid pants and all of a sudden I'm like the rest of them?
Lawson is Dumb: not you in particular, it's these fashion kids that you seem to be a part of
DistillersG: I don't go out buy 40's and beat up hippies and say oi! randomly. I have one pair of plaid pants.. THe torn shirt was becuase it was summer and I wanted a tank top and I didn't feel like going out and buying one.
Lawson is Dumb: fair enough....
DistillersG: I like a lot of the bands, yes. It's just some of my preference. But I like a lot of things. I like emO! I like ska.. I like physcobilly... I LIKE THE MAMA'S AND THE PAPA'S FOR CHRIST SAKE
Lawson is Dumb: why does it appeal to you? i'm just wondering, cause punk doesn't mean a damn thing anymore..
DistillersG: it's music right? I'm a musician. I like the way i can get into it.
DistillersG: just like i can get into everything else.
Lawson is Dumb: but why the fashion?
DistillersG: whats wrong with wanting to look good.
Lawson is Dumb: what's cool about it? it used to be about freaking people out, but now it's accepted.
DistillersG: if i wanted to be accepted, would I wear a monkey suit to a show?
DistillersG: no..
DistillersG: would I go around slapping peoples asses
Lawson is Dumb: that i must applaud
DistillersG: i mean, nobody wants me to slap their ass, you of all people know that
Lawson is Dumb: the monkey suit, not the ass slapping
DistillersG: lol
Lawson is Dumb: i guess i just don't get it
DistillersG: well, it's kind of like homosexuals. How must people don't get them...
DistillersG: you just have to accept it.
Lawson is Dumb: i don't have to accept these new "punk" kids. when i was a kid, it meant something
DistillersG: well, it's not really like you can do anything about it.
Lawson is Dumb: sure i can
DistillersG: like what?
Lawson is Dumb:v i can laugh and taunt
DistillersG: then go ahead.
DistillersG: it's not gonna stop anything..
Lawson is Dumb: oh, i do
DistillersG: i know
DistillersG: i've heard you
Lawson is Dumb: stop what? kids from affluent backgrounds not showering and putting crap in their hair just to bother their folks, as long as the don't bother them enough to stop them from buying them a car.
DistillersG: i realize there are a lot of people in the scene, and I mean alot, who don't get it and just do it to be cool. But I just ignore them because that's not why i go to shows. I go because I like the music. and the music is all I need to hear. and you know it's nice to see your friends and be goofy there too. But I don't let stupid shit like that get to me. And this whole thing about backrounds. YOu can't really help the backround your from. Or where you live. Like it's some rule, you can't be punk if you're not poor or working class. And I agree. Those kind of things are dumb. This is why i don't do it.
DistillersG: like getting parents to buy stuff for you/.
Lawson is Dumb: that's my whole point you don't "become" punk, it's just how you are
DistillersG: can you explain more on that.
Lawson is Dumb: it's not something that can be explained that easily
DistillersG: so, the music doesn't matter at all? If you mean in terms of how your childhood was growing up. Nobody just "grows up" on punk. Unless they parents got into it or something. But if you mean like, you were always mistreated, and people always thought you were weird.. hell, I've never been popular. I was always a weird dresser. I wore pink pants in sixth grade and was called "peptobismal"
DistillersG: sorry, i understand this is not directed towards me
DistillersG: in particular
Lawson is Dumb: okay, i'm not talking about the music right now, and i'm not making fun of you (currently)
DistillersG: currently lol
Lawson is Dumb: you are obviously tolerable enough for me not to shun you
DistillersG: that's good.
Lawson is Dumb: it's these kids who've never had to work for a living, and they're obviously not street kids because you see them getting dropped off at shows in cadillac SUV's
DistillersG: yeah
Lawson is Dumb: i've been homeless, and i know what it's like, and i know why "punk fashion" looks like it does
DistillersG: uh huh
Lawson is Dumb: your clothes tore, you pinned them back together. if you put studs/lighter tops/bottle caps in your clothing, it would hurt if somebody punched you. after three weeks of not washing your hair, you can sculpt it into all sorts of crazy shit.
DistillersG: i can respect you for knowing this.
DistillersG: and if i can justify myself more. the only reason I had safty pins on my pants last night was because I had just sewn them and I wasn't finished on the side of my crotch.
DistillersG: Lawson you rock.
Lawson is Dumb: haha, that's why we used to wear the flaps of cloth in the crotch/ass area, and we'd draw band logos on them so it would look like it was doing more than covering our balls
DistillersG: lol
DistillersG: yeah that's what I thought. either that or like you had it torn there.
Lawson is Dumb: some holes are too big for safety pins
DistillersG: heh yeah I could imagine.
DistillersG: http://www.vickysjokes.com/funny/eyes.asp
DistillersG: lol
Lawson is Dumb: http://www.vickysjokes.com/funny/sexyblack.asp
Lawson is Dumb: that one's better
DistillersG: lol
DistillersG: eww
DistillersG: womanly ass..
Lawson is Dumb: hot
DistillersG: oh baby
Lawson is Dumb: makes me all hot
DistillersG: i'm about to cream my pants


That was one of the best conversations I"ve had for a long time.

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[26 Oct 2002|11:26am]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Branston- summer in saint claire ]

starting k e nny: like whoa.. little t
starting k e nny: sorry, I couldn't help myself
LikeWhoaLittleT: hahaha
starting k e nny: lol
LikeWhoaLittleT: good mornin to you, too
starting k e nny: meh.. it's too early
LikeWhoaLittleT: that it is. im not down wit this morning shit anymore
starting k e nny: lol
starting k e nny: why are you up so early?
*** You have been disconnected. Sat Oct 26 08:14:34 2002.
*** LikeWhoaLittleT signed on at Sat Oct 26 08:15:21 2002.
LikeWhoaLittleT: welcome back yo
starting k e nny: lol, i don't know what the was... that was weird.
LikeWhoaLittleT: haha
LikeWhoaLittleT: its what you get for wakin up so early
starting k e nny: haha yeah probably
LikeWhoaLittleT: whoa. dat wasn't delayed much
starting k e nny: lol, sory I'm tired


this is about how exciting as it gets this morning. Nothing really special.

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[24 Oct 2002|09:07pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Tsunami bomb - ...Not forever ]

xAtTiCuSCloThESx: are u from TSL
starting k e nny: who are you?
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: travis
starting k e nny: are you?
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: yeah man....i swear
starting k e nny: what?
starting k e nny: huh?
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: u said who are u...
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: i said travis..
starting k e nny: travis who?
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: u said are you??
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: barker
starting k e nny: *dies*
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: hah
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: jk
starting k e nny: anyways...
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: who are u
starting k e nny: who are u?
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: travis
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: who are u
starting k e nny: your mom
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: no...she is rite next to me
starting k e nny: you spelled right wrong
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: i spell "right"
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: rite
starting k e nny: well then your dumb
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: i kno i m
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: im an illeterate asshole
starting k e nny: and you spend way to much banging on bongos than you do using proper spelling
starting k e nny: so you own atticus?
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: no
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: huh
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: what do u mean banging on those bongos
starting k e nny: well it's your screenname
starting k e nny: *dies*
starting k e nny: nevermind
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: ok...
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: i mean,...
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: yeah sure i own atticus..
starting k e nny: your full of shit
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: did u see the sarcasicm?
starting k e nny: no..
starting k e nny: it's not tangible
starting k e nny: nor is it visible
starting k e nny: so I really didn't
starting k e nny: "see the sarcasm"
xAtTiCuSCloThESx: whatever dude
starting k e nny: mk
starting k e nny: yeah


that's my RPing screen name. This goddamned person.
Yeah, it's on LIvejournal if you wanna check out my Rping livejournal.
I play that guy from the starting line

Yeah. Meh.,

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[24 Oct 2002|08:21pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | The humpers - run run rudolph ]

DistillersG: I'm new
Aaron7241:no you arent
DistillersG: damn


DistillersG: I'm new
arrgtheseaman: your new??

DistillersG:I'm new
fonzi9864:new?
'


Did I mention I was new?

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