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[10 Jul 2005|09:57pm] |
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hi....
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[20 May 2005|03:01pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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well last night i graduated and it was pretty cool i got really nervous when it was time to go and get my diploma, but i didnt trip or anything. the only thing i forgot, was to move my tassel over to the other side of my hat. afterwards, lucas wasn't in a great mood and so all we did is hang out n' go out to eat at Denny's. today hasn't been very eventful yet... my family has been running around setting things up for my graduation party. i hope all the people i invited turn out. i hope its a lot of fun... we're supposed to have like a ton of food n' stuff. who knows how it will turn out... anywho... im really tired....
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[16 May 2005|08:32pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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*sigh* i dunno wether to be happy or sag about gradutaing in a few days... im having very mixed emotions about the whole thing...
i'm happy b/c there's a bunch of ppl i go to school with that arent exactly the nicest people around here and they've been nothing but rude to me for no reason... plus a change from high school might be nice... or it might not, who knows...
I'm sad/depressed b/c it feels like im never going to see some of my friends again even thou i know i will... my friend beth is going to texas and from the way she talks, we may never see each again... that would be rather disappointing, b/c i know i can tell her about anything in complete confidence that she won't repeat it, plus if you ask her opinion on something, she'll be straight forward and she wont sugar coat it... im also depressed b/c i don't know how things will end up with me and lucas.... im going to stay with him no matter what and our relationship may even grow stronger... who knows....
I'm also scared b/c this whole going to college thing is brand new. i'm going to be moving into the dorms and i dunno what will happen with that... the longest i've ever been away from my parents is a week and that was girl scout camp... i know i won't be far from them but its still going to be a bit scary w/o my parents there to help me when i need it or anything... im kind of starting to regret this whole "dorm room" thing... i dont know what i've gotten myself into now... its too late to back out of it now b/c then we can't get any of our deposit back and it was quite a bit of money, so now im stuck...
aside from being away from my parents, i will also be seperated from my love... i dont know if lucas is still intending on getting an apartment in cape... i think if he does, he'll wait awhile b/c of all his payments he has... like his car and such... and im just scared that somehow this whole dorm/college thing will tear us apart.... and really thats the last thing i want... i dunno... maybe im just sacred that things will change because we like like 2 or 3 blocks from each other... im just scared that things will change and we'll end up breaking up. its really hard to picture things without him around, as crazy as that sounds... if it does even sound crazy.... part of the reasoning behind me getting my dorm room was b/c he said he was getting an apartment and i figured things would for sure be okay then b/c we wouldn't be far from each other... but now i just don't know anymore... i want to bring it up to him but it will just be hard to find the time and bring it up... i know i'll prolly cry.... hell im tearing up right now as i type this...
maybe all im just doing is making a mountain out of a mole hill... i sure hope so... everyone makes college out to be like this big bad thing that will swallow you whole if your not careful... everyone makes it seem like that all you do is work, study, go to class, and sleep... no time for fun or relationships... if thats the case then i dont want to be apart of the whole "college expierence." all i want is to not lose contact with my friends from high school or to lose lucas... he has no idea how much he means to me and probably never will.... i just feel so confused right now... i think im going to go now and think about what will happen tomorrow.. its my last day of high school... last day to walk the halls of good old JHS... sure will be weird...
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[14 May 2005|03:20pm] |
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mood |
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well im about ready to go meet lucas at mcds so we can go to his show together... he told me the other day that he was singing for driven to her death but he didnt say he was leaving right after work, so i didnt find that out till last night... he said if i wanted to go w/ him i'd have to meet him at work or wills house, or i'd just have to drive myself, so my mommy is just gonna take me to his work... i havent really done much today and im not feeling all that great right now... oh well... guess i'd better get ready to go...
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[13 May 2005|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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meh, i had a pretty good day! beth didn't forget my yearbook insert thingie which was really good, and she said the reason why she didn't come by was b/c she knew she had something to do in town but she couldnt remember what it was. (it was coming to drop off the flat iron) school was pretty dumb thou today... all we did is sit around and talk and watch movies... it gets old.... 5th hour seniors got out for baccalerute (sp?) practice and it was supposed to last till 7th hour but it only lasted like until the very beginning of 6th hour so lucas n' i just went to his house to chill for a bit. after he dropped me off (b/c hes gotta work) and i went to get our prom pics that we got taken by a photographer at the dance... yea they suck and thats the end of that... i dont feel like going into it... and then melissa and i might go out tonight but i dunno... shes gotta clean her house before she can go anywhere.... so i dunno if we will go out or not... i kinda want a new shirt and a new web cam b/c none of my old ones work w/ this new compy..... thats about it for me.... i feel like shopping for some reason... weird...
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[12 May 2005|08:40pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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my day was going fine up till 7th hour... ugh... we turned in our earth science books in there today and i had a bit of water damage done to mine. well we're getting new books next year so i really didnt see why it mattered. well i owe a $5 fine now on the book. (they're selling the books for $5 to some other school) and yea, i kinda don't understand why im having to pay for this book when the money isn't going to go and help repair the book and the school is getting new ones....
then after school was crappy b/c i had to work which wasn't fun.... i had some old man following me outta the alsithmers(sp?) unit w/ his tongue hanging out and i had some crazy woman either following me, or purposely getting in my way while i was trying to move a cart. like she'd see me coming ans just get right in front of me and stop.... ugh....
to top off my night, i got a new cute hair cut yesterday. looked great and all! yea... washed it tonight and now it looks like hell.... like i wanted to redo it how my stylist had done it, but that was a joke in itself.... so then my mom tried to come help me but we ended up getting into it.. that sucked b/c i hate to fight w/ her.... so i dunno... i guess it looks decent now... i think i might go visit my stylist tomorrow for like some tips or something.... oh yea... also my friend, beth, was supposed to come over tonight and drop off her really good flat iron... yes she didnt do it and she wont pick up her phone... plus she has my yearbook insert and im kinda doubting she'll bring it back tomorrow.... ugh, im just so upset!!!!
tonight lucas had band practice tonight and he was supposed to check his phone every now and then to see if i called... but like it was dead after school n' asked him before he left if he would charge it a bit so he could see that i called... he didnt charge it... either that or he did and he didn't do it long enough... so i haven't talked to him tonight. i asked him before i went to work if we'd hang out tonight and he said it was a possibility.... when i got home i sorta kinda figured that we wouldnt be so i took my shower and put on my pj's and attempted to do my hair.....
so thats been my lovely day.... ugh i hope tomorrow is better and my hair does alright.... tomorrow is my last friday... we have baccalurete(sp?) practice tomorrow for part of the day... it shouldnt be too bad... i guess im hoping for is that i can talk to my stylist tomorrow... i dunno if i will b/c shes pregnant and close to her due date... i got my fingers crossed...
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[09 May 2005|09:57pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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i dunno how long its been sincemy last entry so i guess i'll upcate this thing... saturday was prom and it was awesome. i had a ton of fun! lucas and i auctually danced and everyone was just in such a great mood! it was a blast! after prom lucas and i went to my hosue where he took down my hair (i had 125 bobby-pins in my hair) and he washed it for me in the kitchen sink. after that we jsut sat around and stuff. sunday was mothers day and we went out to lunch and gave my mommy her gifts n' then i had to wrok and then i came home n' sat on my ass. today was my last band concert ever, and lucas couldnt make it b/c he went to go see He Is Legend. and tonight i found out that last night, a girl named tiffany, whom is supposed to be my friend, mooned my b/f on the way home from a show. it pisses me off b/c she knows shit like that makes me mad, and neither of them told me. thats why im a bit upset w/ lucas but im more upset w/ tiffany then anything... i dunno if i wanna confront her or not... eh i'll decide later...
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[05 May 2005|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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i almost forgot to update this thing today.... wow something smells like old cereal in my house... weird.... tomorrow is finally friday! im so happy. only one more week of school left for emily! yessss!oh yea if you couldnt tell by earlier today, i did skip w/ lucas n' it was awesome! i liked it b/c it made my day go by quicker. all we did was wash his car n' eat lunch n' that was bout it... school was boring, as usual.... nothing happened.... oh well... saturday is prom, and im looking for ward to it. i just hope i can stuff myself into my dress still... that would suck if i couldnt.... dang im getting sleepy.... so i think i'll wrap this thing up.... tomorrow night i think that im just going to stay home and relax.... i'll prolly wrap my mothers day gift or something... i dunno... but i think im going to bed....
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[05 May 2005|08:27am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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ugh myspace is pissing me off! it won't let me log in! argh! its saying my password n' email addy arent right! bull shit! my email is typed correctly and i even asked for myspace to return my password to me, and oncei got it, i put it in and it still isn't working! argh technology blows!
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[04 May 2005|06:01pm] |
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mood |
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im pretty proud of myself. i finally finished one of my projects. it was the easy one thou.... tonight i gotta work on my short story one... fun fun... not really.... school was pretty boring today... not much happened but then again nothing ever does. this weekend is prom and im pretty pumped up for that! other then that i don't have a lot going on... in a bit im going to go do some crunches and take a shower n' start on my homework... joy.... tomorrow im thinking about skipping the first half of the day with lucas... hes going to be like the only one in his first 3 hour classes b/c all the jr's are taking some test tomorrow.... and well, we're not playing in band tomorrow, we're prolly just watching a movie or w/e in short story and in contmp. lit, we're reading but im done with my book so all i'd do is sit on my ass...eh, i dunno what i'll do... ew, i have to work tomorrow...
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[02 May 2005|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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wow i auctually did a bit of homework! whoa! yea.... i have so much shit to do in this week and next... i got all 3 of my projects started.... i typed out part of my earth science project... the hardest part of that will be making a floor plan.... in contemporary literature i have everything i need written down and now all i have to do is is transfer it to my final project, which i'll do tomorrow, and then i got my story and some poster board for short story. now that i think about it, my projects really arent that hard... i know some people have it a lot worse then i do.... and before all this, i went tanning, got my poster board, addressed all my graduation invitations, did some crunches, and took a shower! i auctually feel productive... so now im going to go sit on my ass in front of the tv..... :-)
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[01 May 2005|10:20pm] |
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mood |
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not a whole lot has happened today... i woke up and sat on my ass for a few hours and watched tv. it was pretty boring n' a bit lonely, but it wasnt too bad. oh yea, my family went to st.louis to some garden thing n' then to a casino. i couldnt go b/c i had to work at 4.... oh yea... i requested off for mothers day, n' i didn't get it off, so im a bit peeved about that... oh well.... my mom said shes not upset about it, but i still feel bad.... after work i came home n' watched some tv and that was about it. lucas called to say that after work he had gone to finish up the demo he's working on w/ the band. he says it sound spretty good, and im really happy for him! ah, tomorrow is a monday, ew, yuck, sick, gross, no.... anywho... oh well thou... the count down starts tomorrow! 10 more days left!!!! :-D i can't wait!
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[30 Apr 2005|04:02pm] |
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wow for some reason i almost forgot that i had this blurty thing... anywho... yea my aunt n' uncel came down yesterday and they're leaving monday. all we've done so far is go out to eat which is fine with me i guess. and today they went to an auction while i sat around the house and eventually went tanning. after that i came home n' read n' fell asleep and here i am now! tonigth i have no idea what we're doing... we were talking about goign to a strip club but i dunno if we will or not... i guess it depends on if we can get anyone to go with us. anywho, i guess im going to talk to jeremy...
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[28 Apr 2005|05:23pm] |
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uhhhhh.... i feel like i've eaten a ton but all i've had is a chicken quesadilla.... it was good thou. yea tonigth im going to go watch lucas play but i dunno if anyones going with me or not. jeremy is going to go lift and and he has to finish a paper, and i can't get ahold of mike.... the rest of my friends are at work or their broke.... oh well. i just hope that when i get there that i can find lucas. wow only 11 more days of school left! im pretty happy bout that! other then that, nothign happened today.... i think im going to go lay down before i go to the show...
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[27 Apr 2005|10:53pm] |
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tomorrow is my last day of being able to sleep in.....*sigh* oh well.... at least on friday we'll only have 11 more days of school left! yessssssssss..... im so ready to be out of there!
anywho, today went pretty well to be honest. i didnt do much of anything, which is how most of my classes have been... i guess thou i need to stop being so lazy and get started on my year end projects that some of my teachers have decided to throw at me.... i have to make up some sort of presentation abotua story we've read this year in short story class.... in contemporary literature, i have to do antoher project for a book im reading... i think as my due date approaches with that one, if im not done with my book in time, i'll just do it over some book i've read in the past... and then in earth science, i have to make up this paper thing talking about earthquake safety in the home.... and for extra credit, i can draw out my house and each and every room and all the crap thats in them... i still dunno if its worth it yet...
tomorrow lucas has another show.... im just going to watch him n' then im leaving... i just having to drive over there by myself and back home but mike will be with me (at least for the ride there) so it prolly wont be too bad... wow my hands are dry... i thought about waiting for lucas to come home n' then talking to him but im getting pretty tired and i do have school tomorrow, jsut not at the usual time... i think im going to find some hand lotion n' go to bed.... im gettin sleepy....
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[27 Apr 2005|09:06am] |
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wow i really like this whole not having to go to school thing till later.... its kinda nice. i like the whole sleeping in thing. yea seniors dont have to be at school till like 9:30 this tuesday, wed., and thursday. i think it also helps the day go by faster. anywho, yesterday was pretty cool. lucas n' i went out to eat w/ a friend, and then we all went to the mall n' hung out, n' then we went to p-mac music (cd store) and i got an old Thursday cd thats pretty good. After that it was just lucas and i, n' we went to barnes and noble and then back to his house till 10. im pretty happy that we finally got to spend our one on one time. i hope that today is a good day n' that it goes by fast. well i think im going to go give lucas a call b/c he was saying somethig bout doing breakfast today...
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[25 Apr 2005|08:19pm] |
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ah, only 14 more days of school left! :-D im pretty happy bout that. i've been waiting so long to graduate! anywho, today was pretty ok. i didn't really get to see lucas b/c he went home n' then to the doctor b/c he has a sinus infection. i feel bad for him.... i hope he feels better soon thou. work went pretty okay tonight. i got mt check and it was more then what i thouhgt it would be. plus i got my tax return bac, so now i have over $100 :-D im pretty pumped about that. i know its not a lot but it kinda is to me b/c i don't make a whole lot.... i asked lucas about going out this weekend and he said he's not sure yet... he wants to wait and see if something will come up... yea.... earlier we were talking about like senior trips and stuff and, like i said (not for senior trip) that i think my parents might let us either ride up w/ them or have us meet them up in Michigan so lucas could like meet my family and stuff and to hang out. i dunno if that will happen thou b/c he doesn't know if there's going to be any shows he wants to go to or that he's playing in... it kinda sucks and it bummed me out, but i guess i'll get over. dang its cold! its April! it shouldn't be this chilly! im freezing right now... i guess it might have to do w/ my hair being wet... meh oh well, i'll dry it later....
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[24 Apr 2005|07:32pm] |
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well work wasn't too bad tonight. tonight was JR's last night in dietary... he's moving up to activity director.... i think that would be more fun then washing dishes.... after work i called lucas to see what he was doing and to see if myabe he wanted to hang out, but he said that he was going to sleep so i guess that i ideas gone now... oh well. i've still got my fingers crossed for this saturday. if i have an okay sized check i might buy him dinner. i don't often do that very much, but i might this saturday. anywho, im missing my shows (extreme home makeover, desperate housewives, n' grays anatomy)
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[24 Apr 2005|12:23pm] |
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wow, i just got home from fazoli's.... damn im stuffed! anywho... last night was pretty fun. the guys sounded great and jeremy showed up but he got there kinda late and he missed seeing lucas... so he might come out this thursday night b/c they're playing another show.... nothing to "omg, wow! i have to tell you this" happend last night.... ugh later i ahev to go to work.... not looking forward to that... i dunno if i'll get to see lucas tonight, but it sure would be nice. this friday, my aunt and uncle from Michigan are coming down... im not real sure what to think about that... they're only going to be here for the weekend thou... they're the ones that can't make it to my graduation, so i think that's why they're coming down now. im kinda hoping that this coming saturday night, lucas and i will finally be able to hang out together and have it be jsut the two of us. that would be kinda nice. but hey a lot can change in between now and then, so who kows what will happen!
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[23 Apr 2005|04:51pm] |
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mood |
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today is soooooooo boring.... there is absolutely nothing to do, especially since the weather is really crappy.... its all windy and cold now and it jsut sucks. tonight lucas has a show and it should be pretty fun. it might get over w/ quick too, so we might be able to hang out afterwards! yay! i can't even remember the last time we hung out n' it was just the 2 of us.... jeremy might be at the show tonight too so that should be fun. he's always fun to hang out with. but i don't really have much else left to say other hten i have to piss...
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