Torn and Scarred's Blurty

Subject:	Dancing in the Rain Until the Sun Shines Again
Time:	1:52 pm.
Mood:	loved.
Music:	HIM-funeral of hearts.

I am determined to be happy no matter what. I will push that memory to the back of my mind and ignore so that I will be happy again. Its only been a day of unhappiness but for me that is way to much because I can't stand more than an hour or two of being depressed or else bad things start to happen but this time I mananged to make it through without doing something stupid. This morning I took a bath and listened to Our Lady Peace to calm myself down because there was nobody online to talk to and nobody was home to listen and I don't think that Reed would be able to take much more of my unhappy thoughts of dying. Now I have to be considerate of what I do because there is somebody who loves me and I would never want to hurt him.

I want to hang out with my friend or Reed today but I have to go to my grandparents house. emmmmm...I really really don't want to go but my mom says I have to because I haven't gone to see them in a while. My grandparents are cool and all but no matter what spending time with friends is always better than that.

Well thats life and for now I will just dance in my rain.

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Subject:	Peel Away
Time:	11:04 pm.
Mood:	pissed off.

I have a friend who peels away the dead skin on her feet. She makes this whole big deal about how ugly her feet are and how they are covered with scars. I have seen the bottoms of her feet and they are not. They look like normal feet, just like everybody elses. She says its like cutting but really it isn't. The only thing you can compare it to is biting your nails. You chew on them and sometimes you bite them till they are too short and it hurts for a little bit.

There is no pain, no blood, no hurt. I wish that she would stop craving for attention all the time and tryin to make it seem like she has a "cutting problem." I know that her life isn't perfect but I really just don't understand why she tells me this. It seems like she is trying to compare to me. If I say I cut then so does she because my cutting takes away from the attention she gets and she has to get it back and it pisses me off. I don't want the attention but I just don't like it when she compares herself to me.

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