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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2004.01.29  12.12 So long, and farewell. The days of my blurty-blogging are over. However, this is not goodbye. All I ask, gentle readers, is that you visit me at my new blogging home: Here!. It'd be good if you could also change any links etc on your sites, to end up at my new blog. Things will be less confusing that way! Thank you, and see you on the other side!

	2004.01.18  22.58 Cantoluna The music around me swirls softly, seeping into my mind and wrapping my thoughts in silken pale strands. The violin bowed notes rise and cascade gently in an gentle soundtrack that almost sounds sad. It makes me think of things that have been and things that are to be and melds them into a deep white haze. The music is beautiful and emotive and calls to my imagination with the serene, beguiling voice of many melodies. It calls me to sleep and deep purple dreams.

	2004.01.18  11.00 Action central Long time, no blog. Every time I want to sit down and write something, I have to go to work, go out, or have the guilt of untidied spaces prying me away from the computer. Ah well, here is something of an update. Planning for our enagagement party is well on the way.... It has been fun sorting out invitations, music, decorations etc, and a little less fun figuring out how much and the right varieties of food we'll need to sucessfully 'desert' all the people on our guest list. Up until yesterday, I had no idea what to wear along our chosen theme of 'A midsummer night's dream', but a sucessful shopping trip yesterday provided me with a very funky skirt, which I can work into some kind of forrest-dweller-fairy-type costume. I'm excited. My parents have just put the first several dollars down on a house. Due to their long overseas sojourn and prior status as student or minister, they've never had the means or opportunity to buy one before, so this is a very exciting thing for them. I, personally, am a little less excited about the prospect of moving house, as I will have to again with the space of 12 months, but I am happy that they've found a place. The idea of the permanacy of house buying shakes something deep in the core of my MK soul, and I have found it hard over the last week or so, dealing with the ominous threat of moving (again), and the uncertainty of where exactly we would be moving to. The real estate market, I have discovered, is a place of darkness and ever shifting shadows, where nothing is certain until the payment of the deposit. However, the house they have chosen is pretty cool, (it reminds me of Bahraini houses), and will have space for me to habitate for the last year of my unmarried life! It is also fairly close to the house we're in now, so moving doesn't require a change of church, friends, familiar setting etc. I suppose that's all I can ask. One of my close friends, Sarah, is getting back from a trip to Pakistan and the UK in a week. Although she is a Wollongong dweller and I get to see her infrequently at the best, it is still nice to know she is in the country and being able to call her. She's also going to be one of my bridesmaids, so it'll be nice to talk wedding with her when she comes home...she was away when we announced our engagement. I have recently been introduced to the wild new world of vacation care. The people who I usually do before and after school care for also run a vac. care program at which I am working 4 days a week. The hours are long and I find myself getting quite worn out by being with the same kids in a school hall for hours and hours on end. However, it does provide monetary benefits, which are always useful, so I shouldn't complain. I have seen the Return of the King twice so far. I can't get over the increadible detail and pattern that enhances every part of the trillogy...not to mention all the other excellent aspects of the actually story and acting. Pippins song, Eowin's stregnth, Treebeard's slow one liners, thousands of Rohirrim riding to death across the plain, how easy it was to despise Denethor, how easy it was to admire Aragorn, how hard you willed Frodo just to throw the ring into the lava and be rid of it. Excellent. And for the moment, that is it. Many things call to be done, so I should go and try to make use of the rest of the day before church.

	2004.01.08  10.38 The Return of the Lorien Hi Honey... I'm Home! Beach mission is now a thing of the recent past, and I'm am home again, feeling a little bit dazed and slightly lost. Mission was excellent. God and Lennox Head worked together to provide us with great weather (albeit scorching on a couple of the days!), and the activities of all types went really well. Here are a few highlights: :: Keenites - Our section times went really well, which was an answer to prayer. The kids seemed to enjoy our adventure to find the greatest treasure, and it seems that my much sweated-over treasure map, was a sucess! ::Campers Concert - our 'talent' night at mission is always lots of fun. We laughed alot, and the keenites performed the Colin Buchannan song 'The greatest treasure' with choreography, which they loved. I can still see our team leader singing backup vocals opera style to 'Summer Lovin'' wearing sunglasses and a backwards cap...very amusing, but you had to be there! :: People time - hanging out at the beach with the kids. Playing in the surf. I miss it already. :: Day off - Went for a swim in the morning and then off to see ROtK at Ballina Cinemas. What a great movie. Lots more I could write about, but the old brain is still a bit fuzzy and disoriented, so I'll write more later. It's good to be home.

	2003.12.26  08.21 My nails are cut, I'm ready to go... After a good christmas full of food, family, friends and alot of hectic last minute mission planning, I am finally off to Lennox Head for SUFM Beach Mission for a period of days (the exact duration of which I have never been able to work out...time is more warped the further north I go.) Ergo...(hehe...there's that silly sounding architect word), I will not be haunting this place for a while. I will be near the beach, living in cloase quarters with what will feel like hundred of other people, doing stuff with kids, and hopefully serving God to the best of my ability. Bring it on.

	2003.12.24  15.12 Deck the malls with plastic holly... This year, the noise of Christmas threatens to deafen me. An almost inescapable noise that penetrates everything. The cluttered sound of busy people, of cash registers, of eftpos machines working their little electronic circuits overtime. The sound of mangled christmas songs loudly pulsing from department store speakers; lightly accented by parents and children whinging about toys and sore feet and too many people. The noise comes to me through my letter box - catalogues scream their commerialist propoganda into my face, and endless cards bearing idolised and overused images shout their cliched slogans like they do every year. The radio plays sacharine mush about goodwill towards mankind, and pseudo-religious niceties dribble out the speakers of my car radio, and make shiny green, gold and red puddles around the plastic shopping bags on the floor. I can't swallow this version of Christmas. There is no Christ here. But in the eye of the cyclone of noise and movement and money, there is a quiet place. If you stop here and let the ears of your heart work for a moment you may hear a sheep bleeting, startled by the light and sudden exclamation of joy and the proclamation of good news. A gasp. A sigh. An exhausted mother singing quietly to her newborn, as she silently marvels at what has come to pass. The muffled sounds of a town packed with people. The sound of animals, sharing their shelter with the creator of the world. Two parents wondering how to raise a saviour king. In this place, where sounds are but echos of a marvelous and world changing event, Christmas is realise for what it is. The creator clothes himself with skin, lets his skin be covered by mucus and dust and pricked by hay, touched by the diseased, lost and desperate, torn and mutilated by spears and nails. The deity child becomes a perfect man. This man is killed and raised to life and God's plan and promise are fufulled. This is why I can say happy Christmas. There is joy for me beyond the tinsel.

	2003.12.18  11.02 I have measured out my life in coffee spoons Well, maybe not coffee spoons, but maybe in glitter pots, glue sticks and paint tubes. As is blatantly obvious, I havn't written in a while. My life feels like it's spinning on at a great pace and I'm trying to keep up...the December busyness has well and truly come with force, and has left me with little time to muse aloud here. I'm enjoying what I'm doing...but there are always other things that need to be done! What Has Been: - Engagment party planning...it's comming along quite nicely - Beach mission preparation...and weekend away. T'was good to regroup and Port Hacking was beautiful. - Working. Lots. One christmas party and three shifts to go! - Christmas present shopping/ making. On a wild present creation rampage...oh, but it takes so looong! - Family Christmas get-together yesterday...good food and very little action. - Carolling. No folks, the art is not dead. A group from my church has been doing it in our area, with fairly positive response. It's an outreach thing. What Is To Come: - Christmas! (only seven sleeps!) - Beach mission (only nine sleeps) - Finish making and sending invitations (should have been done) - Finish making/ wrapping presents (ditto) - Finish work (bring it on!) - Tidy room - Tidy rest of junk in house - The Return of the King! (movie...not second comming) - 2004 (not in that order!) Must discontinue my procrastination now.

	2003.12.06  10.42 Disturbing confession... One week into my engagement and I have had my first Wedding Disaster dream. Curse the female psyche! However, if my subconcious self perceptions are accurate, having a year to plan my wedding will be an extreemly good thing, because the dream did not bode well for my powers of organisation. One of my bridesmaids couldn't come, so I had to find a substitute in the last 20 mins before I was meant to walk down the isle. It was like one of those freaky arty movies...I kept having close-up flash shots of my watch as the last hour before the wedding ticked past. When we eventually sorted out bridesmaids, their outfits were completely revolting...and I mean so completely revolting, that even now, in a concious state I shudder to remember the image of them. One chick who stepped in for the bridesmaid who was stuck somewhere between Wagga Wagga and Sydney (although I think the actual church setting was in Bahrain...), was wearing a browninsh purple dress with pink 'detailing' - something resembling a small toilet cleaning brush attached to one shoulder strap of the dress, and was going to carry a square red handbag down the isle. I think I made her change...whoever she was! I'd forgotten to book hair and makeup appointments for myself and the bridesmaids, and in the end we were so late in comming int the church that we did away with the processional and the bridesmaids, groomsmen and assorted leftover relatives and friends helping in the chaos of the last hour preparations all scuttled down the isle in a clump and sprinkled themselves in seats around the church...so much for my carefully planned entrance. I woke up before I come into the church and had to see myself...I shudder to think, although I don't remember there being any dramas about The Dress, so hopefully, for those who got to see the end of my freaky art house wedding flick, I wouldn't have looked too bad! It was quite a draining dream experience...I remember being increadably stressed and in tears most of the dream, and it all seemed to be happening in a narrow confined spage with my grandparent's bathroom attached to one end, located somewhere next to the church. A psychoanalyst would have a heyday with my dreams. To do list: Book hair appointment for 3...12 months in advance. Book makeup appointments...or at least have makeup on hand to do myself. Personally chose (matching) bridesmaids dresses. Secure a church in the correct hemisphere. Insist on boquets for bridesmaids...no red handbags. Ensure enough time is left for the processional Get my head checked.

	2003.12.03  00.06 The happy event... Mum took these photos when we went home to announce our engagement to my family...they're all staged, but hey...I thought they were cool. No wonder our faces started hurting...check out these grins!

	2003.12.01  16.20 Window watching... A product of the same bout of creativity that inspired 'Beauty in the eye of the beholder'.

	2003.11.29  23.07 A rather engaging story... Today Ben and I went up the mountains to Wentworth Falls where we sat on a rock on the edge of a sheer cliff looking over the valley and had a picnic. It was the most gorgeous day...bright blue sky and millions of yellow flowers growing beside the highway on the way up. After we had eaten, Ben produced a ring (after a shocking moment of thiniking he'd managed to drop it over the cliff!!) and asked me to marry him. I said yes and hey presto....we're engaged! Check out some photographs of the happy event and my ring here. This ring is on loan until we can finish buying the one we've chosen to get! I'm terrifically excited...it's not every day you get engaged, and I only plan to do it this once! I think I've only stopped smiling once since then...maybe.

	2003.11.28  11.44 Update I am: Sunburnt. A little bit of sun goes a long way for my pasty complexion. I enjoyed: Yesterday. Ben and I met Deb and Tania at Bondi, sat on the beach for just long enough to get completely fried, went shopping...'Twas good. I anticipate: The engagement party of two friends tonight. I fear: Skin cancer. I'd like to be: In a huge tub of cool yoghurt...or maybe just a swimming pool.

	2003.11.26  10.25 'Twas the month before christmas ...and all through the house things were getting ridiculously hectic... I was looking forward to the holidays because I had thought that it would be a relaxing few months to read, and draw and do all manner of non-uni things. The non-uni bit was relatively accurate, but I am continually amazed by the amount of 'stuff' that is happening at this time of the year! I should have remembered from last year...I think it must have been comparably busy, but somehow, it has still come as a shock. Today: Wake up (am) Ring around madly trying to find out if Ellie is still in hospital after a nasty turn last night. To Ellie's place to do her and her friend's nails for her formal (1:00) To another friends' place to paint flowers on a mural for an engagement party on Friday (found out about that 5 mins ago) (2:00) To girls Bible Study (lead) (6:00) To MY bible study (7:30) Home (10 - 11:30pm) Tomorrow: Drive to Bondi to meet Deb (try not to get lost) (8:30 am) Drive back to Parammatta (who knows when) Drive home (indeterminite time of night or day) Friday: Work (6:15am) Staff meeting (9:00am) Individual supervision meeting (10:00am) Home (yawn 11:00am) Work - again: (2:30pm) Home (6:00pm) Youth group (7:00pm) Engagement Party - late (9:00pm) Home (who knows when) Need I say more?

	2003.11.24  16.14 Shameless self exhibition... There is nothing more to hide...I think it's kind of bizzare that people read what I write fairly regularly, but can't visualise me as they read it. I'm sure my mental images of the people's blogs I read are grossly innacurate. Not that it really matters what we look like...it's just interesting to know. It would have been interesting to get people to comment on what they think I look like, before they see the picture, and see how accurate people's imagined 'Loriens' are! This (somewhat stunned-looking) photo is me on my 20th B'day dressed for a bush dance that my youthgroup held that day...I don't usually look so much like Pippy Longstckings! Say 'cheesy grin'!

	2003.11.23  15.13 Wedding Belles... I spent a pleasant but whilwhind day yesterday, celebrating the marriage of two friends of mine from Beach mission. It was cool to witness two people that I actually know, making a commitment before God, to chose to love each other for the rest of their lives. It was encouraging to see; especially in a society where everything tell you to do what you like when you want to, basically negating the necessity of marriage. In an era when people who keep the vows they make during their wedding are rapidly becomming the minority, it was good to see a couple who recognise God's plan of marriage, begin a marriage where He would be honoured above everything. The wedding was nicely done...they had lots of singing which I thought was cool, the bride looked lovely, and the reception went smoothly. I think everybody left happy...especially the newlyweds! Watched the Rugby World Cup final last night. The WHOLE THING. I think this is a first for me, although by the end of the last half, I think I was losing the plot a bit. When 20 mins overtime had to be played to unbalance the score, it was exciting, but by that time, I simply wanted it to be finished and to go home! Australia lost. Serves us right for being so cocky, I guess. England won...I can imagine English rugby enthusiasts in Oz will be insufferable for the next week or so. Ah well...it's only a game. (Although don't tell that to the people who paid $500 to be at the stadium last night and sat in the rain for the entire time, screaming and cheering themselves hoarse.) The next weeks are looking busy, but enjoyable...more singing rehersals, catching up with friends, the beginnings of Christmas stuff...oh, and my dad gets back from his 5 week work trip tomorrow...that'll be good. Excitement all around.

	2003.11.23  14.31 Every picture tells a story - II I painted this shortly after I discovered the wonders of guache paint and during the time when I was house-sitting for a friend. This was the first and only time I have house-sat, and as it was during my holidays, I have lots of spare time to fiddle with paint. I remember the house feeling so quiet...I think I played music almost the whole week I was there to fill up the sound of the house with only one person in it. I live in a house normally, with four other people, including two siblings sho aren't afraid to make a racket whenever they feel so inclined! There is always someone playing the piano or the guitar, the pulsating sound of a radio, talking, laughing or singing. When it was just me, my voice sounded lost in the empty house. It was a fun thing to do for a week, but as long as I can have space when I need it, give me at least one other person to live with any day! But this is a diversion! I have wanted for ages, to paint a series of artworks called 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', with huge eyes where the pupil is a small picture of something beautiful, or not beautiful, depending on how much of a statement I was hoping to make at the time. This is the only thing I have painted along the lines of this idea, but writing about it now, reignites my interest in trying to extend it a bit more. I'd love to do pictures of things that people may not always consider beautiful, or that are beautiful to the people of one culture, but unappealing to those of a different culture. The idea of subjective beauty and how different people and cultures percieve beauty fascinates me. I'd like to do mini-portraits of old people, or people I know...it's who they are that makes them beautiful to me, not what they look like. It would also be cool to do a sub-set of drawings/ paintings of everyday objects that people may be attached to...an old teddy bear, or a dillapidated rocking chair, a tarninshed cornet, a ripped quilt. The possibilities are almost endless. There's plenty here to keep me busy...

	2003.11.20  12.41 A picture speaks a thousand words... I was looking through my sketchbook this morning and was thinking of all the different times and places where I have drawn. Behind each sketch or painting there is a memory, or a person, or a feeling that extends beyond what is actually drawn and back into my history. I love to remember. So that is what I'm going to do. Several summers ago, my family went to Coal Cliff for a few weeks holiday. We stayed in a tiny downstairs cottage that belonged to an extreemly sweet old lady that dad met somewhere. It had two bedrooms...the one that my brother and I shared was about the size of a solitary confinement cell in a high security prison (not that I really know what size that would be...it just sounded good), and the other one had a double bed and enough space for a matress on the floor which my sister inherited. This picture is of the window next to my bed. If I lay with myself propped up on my elbow and my head resting against the lead-based wall paint, I could see out, accross the edge of the garden and down to the rocks and the ocean. Unfortunately, all that can be seen out of the window in this drawing, is a soggy towel and my sister's bikini bottoms. We could sit on the miniscule verandah and watch the sea at the bottom of the hill, and the tiny spot bushfires burning on the opposite hillside...It was very serene and very beautiful. One thing that tended to break the serentity were the gigantic dragon-type lizzards that habitated the garden into which the verandah protruded. They would stare at you with unwavering yellow gazes, and come unnervingly close you you as you sat, trying to read, or eat, or sleep. They especially liked my mother...they would actually follow her around the yard. This holiday happened just after I succumbed to the seductive tug of convenient commercialism and bought a mobile phone. The house, and most of the surrounding suburbs were in such a geographical position that I had absolutely no reception, which frustrated me at the time. Not that anyone was trying to call me...it was just the principle of the matter. Ah...the inconsequential things you remember. The ocean was very rough and cold those weeks. One, when we couldn't bear to be dumped into a pile of pebbles once again, my brother and I created a sand mermaid...I've still got a photo of that somewhere. One evening, we ate fish and chips next to the beach...it was extreemly windy, but it wouldn't be a beachside meal if it wasn't. I read 'The Poisonwood Bible' that holiday. It's a terrific book, made even better for me by the fact that my mum had just read it before I did and so we could talk about all the good, funny or disturbing bits together as I read them. A book is usually better when you can share it. Lots has happened since that summer...it's amazing how much can happen in two years.

	2003.11.19  16.35 Results As you will no doubt notice if you scroll a short way down this page, the legendary experimental counter box has stopped changing. Apparently some dude got bored of 'making funny colours' and so now we're stranded on a purply-reddish green box with round edges, and no amount of coaxing will make it change. I suppose it was a naive hope to think it would keep changing forever...I suppose even coloured box makers sometimes get tired of their job. The total number of comments that eventuated from this study was 37. Thanks to all participants. (NO thanks to the guy who stopped making colours for the box...I will be contacting my lawyer.)

	2003.11.19  12.31 It's that kind of day! It is SUCH a gorgeous day outside...it is warm but not hot, and terrifically shiny. A day for the beach, or a park or an adventure...It kind of makes me feel like this...

	2003.11.19  11.39 Doodles with wire... I love being on holiday...I finally get to let my creative side run a bit more rampant and make/draw/paint again. I've been trying to think of creative stuff to give as christmas presents... these serviette rings were one idea. They were fun to make, even if they'd be completely useless as gifts! Other than fiddling with wire and marbles, I've been working a fair bit and trying to get my house a little tidier than it has been. Youth group stuff and kids church continue ever onwards because it's not school holidays yet. I've also been singing more frequently, having joined a carol service choir run by my old school, and practicing for our church caroling outreach thingy, which I always enjoy. Anyway, there's a brief update. Not really in the mood for writing at the moment. Think I'll go and paint.

	2003.11.18  12.34 Drawing...experiment in picture posting! I love drawing people from other countries...here's one I prepared earlier.

	2003.11.18  12.02 Um...it's the holidays... My first ever quizz...I sold out! Fantastic!! You are GEORGIA O'KEEFE. You are a true spirit of nature, and it shows in the flowing floral paintings for which you are most famous. You feel the beauty of all things around you, and your friends appreciate you for your ability to share that extraordinary beauty with them. Which famous artist most reflects your personality? brought to you by Quizilla

	2003.11.14  23.19 Little experiment... Ok...so if you're reading this now, all I ask you to do is to leave a comment of some sorts...I don't care if it's a week from now, just write me something...tell me about your favourite book, favourite person, why you think/ do not think that the meaning of life is 42...Whatever. The point of all this, is that I want to see what colour my little comments counter box goes when it has bazillions of comments to declare... Call me trivial.

	2003.11.13  22.55 What's in a name? "O for a muse of fire, that would ascend The brightest heaven of invention! A kingdom for a stage, princes to act And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!" King Henry V - William Shakespeare This has been one of my favourite snippets of language for a long time...I love the sound of the words. I love the idea of a muse of fire...it is such a vividly colourful description and the whole bit rings of regality. So that's where I pinched the name of my blog from. I suppose the pretentious part of me wants what I write to be of some inspiration to those who read it. I guess you could also call it 'Flaming Muse'...but that sounds too much like 'Flaming Moes' which just has really tacky Simpsons reference written all over it. I think I'll stick to the Bard.

	2003.11.13  22.42 Fragment... The surface of the water was perfect, motionless, smooth. Like liquid diamond. Perfect. So perfect. An object thrown, a stone perhaps, or a pinecone. Arched in the air. Perfect geometry. The curve was smooth. Perfect. The object hit the water. Catastrophe Confusion Chaos Ripples, tiny waves, shattered reflections, disturbed refractions, fragments. The death of perfection.