| 12:49pm 22/12/2003 | ||||
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sick| 02:15pm 21/12/2003 | ||||
Matts a bitch and Edgar seems pissed at me... he says he isnt hes jus tired ive been trying to download fefe dobson songs but eveything is take me away and diff songs urgh damnit.. . um um yeah me and cassandra went to see mona lisa smile on friday, went to see "Some Kinda Christmas Show" it was pretty gay and we left and hour early or whatever n i won a prize in the penny auction its a tranforming action playtoty for 3+ lol so im givin it to my cousin spencer for christmas i guess... yep and today me n cassandra(lol) went xmas shopping! i had 40 bucks and i bought my mom a dr phil book (24.00)... my dad sorta with the book to but i bought him to bags of these chocolates lol (2.00) yeah im cheap and my friend brittany some thing... mmmmmm yeah....................................w yeah yeah yeah yyyyyyyyyyeah. |
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touched| 01:24am 20/12/2003 | |||
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just watched the grinch lol grinch wears a thong haawhawhaw that horny girl likes him alot cough cassandras sleeping over, guess what my parents made a deal with me since i didnt go to school all week nor today they let me go to the movies on one condition! Itell them whats bothering me cause i was crying like aloton wed. n stuffn they said this started lik a month ago.......then my dad said one of my ex friends from 7 months ago gave him an attractive look that almost made him puke yeah right god hes the perv anyways i went to go see mona lisa smile with cassandra i saw some chicks from my classes and old schools but after some incident in march yeah nvm anyways cassandras sleeping over we just watched the grinch lol and she fell asleep half way thru the movie so shes down sleeping and i snuck on well 1 really nice guy on msn Callum, and i should go |
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| 06:38pm 19/12/2003 | |||
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All Is going well.......but my dad i think hes a fuckin perv.....yeah i think he is... i know he is... blah.... i had a talk with my parents cause they wanted me to go down there n i had to tell them everything in order to go to the movies cause i was home "sick" all week so yes i said im not mentioning any names n then he asked if this girl he doesnt llike smokes and im lik no god cause my teacher called them and told them i cant hang out with her cause shell " bully" me like what the fuck i can pick my own friends jesus christ haw haw i wanna list everything that turns me on im thnkin.........hahahahhaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ok im done..... im talking with steve he wants me to suck mr clause lmao DAMNNN my mom wants me to clean the office |
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| 04:23pm 19/12/2003 | ||||
--I missed the school dance --I have 7568293470 fucking hours worth of homework thru the xmas break --I look like shit --I hate my dad --My ex keeps calling here(Kimma) --Susan hasnt caled me --I cant go to the fuckin movies --I wanna hurt myself......... .................. --I need a smoke at least --god fucking damnit jesus christ fwrzsjkgnjksngtl I hate my dad.....I hate my dad.....I hate my dad..........................WEllllllll Lata []Deace out |
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aggravated| edgars gay | ||||
| 04:03pm 19/12/2003 | ||||
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pissed off| 03:39pm 19/12/2003 | |||
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Love ridden,I've looked at you with the focus I gave to my birthday candles. I've wished on the lidded blue flames under your brow, and baby, I wished for you. Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed. I wanna crawl in with you, but cry instead. I want your warm, but it will only make me colder when it's over, so I can't tonight. No, not "baby" anymore - if I need youi 'll just use your simple name. Only kisses on the cheek from now on, and in a little while, we'll only have to wave. My hand won't hold you down no more. The path is clear to follow through. I stood to long in the way of the door, and now I'm giving up on you. No, not "baby" anymore- if I need you, i'll just use your simple name. Only kisses on the cheek from now on, and in a little while, we'll only have to wave. Dance to the fiddles in the rhythm of the reels Dance to the life and the love that you feel Dance to the song of the one that you love so true Oh, life is in the dance you choose - aselin debison Rex: You don't have to be afraid of me. Mimi: I'm not. *He kisses her neck* Mimi: Okay, I just totally lied, you scare me all the time. But it's okay, I kinda like it. When I was young every Christmas Eve I could not sleep Trying to catch that old St. Nick Leaving presents under my tree And every year I'd fall asleep laying in my bed Dreaming of a million sugarplums Dancing in my head In the meadow we can build a snowman Then pretend that he is Parson Brown He'll say "Are you married?" We'll say "No, man!" But you can do the job when you're in town... Later on we'll conspire as we dream by the fire To face unafraid, the plans that we've made Walkin' in a winter wonderland... I'm finding my own words, my own little stage My own epic drama, my own scripted page I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear From the start it was shaky and the characters rash, A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire Are friendly intentions and fairweather smiles -Yellowcard, Rough Draft ...?*?..... *?. .?*?.???) /. ?*? .\ ?.???.???) (?.?? *., .:*: you can thank your lucky stars, that everything i wish for will never come true t h i s | o n e ' s | f o r | t h e | g i r l s who've ever had a |
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| Friday--Edgars geey | ||||
| 03:06pm 19/12/2003 | ||||
Lol i know funny funny but meh she wanted to see it i think it might be good i mean come on it has Julia Stiles!! Julia Roberts!! and KIRSIN DUNST!! Those actors like KIK well Ttyllllllllllllllllll kidddddddsssss n dudes.. bebyebyebeybeyebye |
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accomplished| 02:55pm 19/12/2003 | ||||
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excited| 02:49pm 19/12/2003 | ||||
Shake down, you make me break, for goodness sake I think I'm on the edge of something new with you. Shout out, don't drown the sound, I'll drown you out, you'll never scream so loud as I want to scream with you. Standing there with your smile blinding your eyes from seeing my face as I'm dying to figure out a girl. (but she drifts so far away) But she drifts so far away, I'm on her coast, so maybe I should stay and map around your world. So Don't Say "These currents are still killing me"
There are sweet fluorescent enemies that live inside of me.
not fast enough to not creep up on you and the space we put between. So pull me under your weather patterns, your cold fronts and the rain don't matter, because a sun burns what I needed. So Don't Say "These currents are still killing me" and you can't explain But the wind went and pulled me into the hurricane. You don't do it on purpose but you make me shake now I count the hours 'til you wake. With your babies breath, breathe symphonies, come on sweet catastrophe. well Maybe this time I can follow through, I can feel complete, stop paying dues. Stop the rain from falling keep my oceans calm this time I know nothings wrong. and you can't explain But the wind went and pulled me in and don't you Don't say "These currents are still killing me" and you can't explain But the wind went and pulled me into your hurricane Into your hurricane Into your hurricane |
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ecstatic| 01:46pm 19/12/2003 | ||||
SHARON OSBOURNE SHOWhaha best show ever she had these really sexy guys striping for her in bed haha it was sweet lol sorry i love sharon anywaysr and matts online but hes away and he said hey to me now he aint talkin cause hes away :S whaaaaaaaatever lol anyways im listening to thursday.... and... .. ...i keep my radio on when i go to sleep and when i woke up i think it was chantal kreviasiak blah lol oo matt s talkin to me now hes doin the dishes ... neneneneeeee..... i knooowedgars gay:) |
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annoyed| 12:21am 19/12/2003 | ||||
Edgars gay |
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exhausted| 11:18pm 18/12/2003 | |||
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:?.(?`v'?).?:*:?.!?!??l???? R???!?!?:*:?.(?`v'?).?: Bush- Come Down Keris-My Milkshake Behind Blue Eyes-Limb Bizkit 2pac-Ghost Mandy Moore ft Jonathan Foreman-Someday We'll know Hands Down-Dashboard confessional Andrew WK- Party Hard & She is Beautiful Barenaked Ladies -Chimpanzee (lol steve:P) Box Car Racer-There is Christina Aguilera- The voice within & Im OK Def Leppard-Pour some suger on me Cradle of Filth- Hallowed By Thy Name Jack Off Jill- Angels Fuck Edwin and the Pressure- Super Honey Disturbed- Remember Evanescence- My Immortal Finger Eleven-Good things & One thing Good Charlotte- Hold on & Emotionless & Thank you Iggy Pop and Sum41- Little Know It All Just like you-3days Grace Kill Hannah- they cant save us now & unwanted Kim Stockwood-You Jerk Limp Bizkit-Rollin & My generation & Stich & Take a look around Ludacris - Stand up & Whats your fantasy (alot of memories) Josie and the Pussycats-Pretend too Be nice Martina Mcbride-Concrete Angel (( Video is sad... )) Mudvayne- Not falling Nightwish-Angels Fall First Our Lady Peace- 4am&Clumsy&Innocent&Julia&Made of Steel&Whatever& LIFE Puddle of Mudd- She haes me&Away from me Slipknot-Fuck this world & Tattered and torn & People=Shit Switchfoot-Idare you to move&Learning to Breath&Only Hope&You Toploader-Dancing in the moonlight Baby Beesh & Frankie J- SUgar Sugar Tal Bachman-Shes so High The Used-Box Full Of Sharp Objects Thursday- How long is the night Wakefield-Miss you&say you will&Infamous&Heavens coming West Side Story -I feel pretty (lol eh amanda!) Xzibit-Pull My Hair Busta rhymes-Light yo ass on fire Yellowcard-October nights&View from heaven No Doubt- Its my life & running The Archies-Sugar Sugar Lot other these are jus on my mind you know |
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| 10:41pm 18/12/2003 | ||||
this is the first time i posted any poems on the net, though ive had many chances im paranoid hahhaa well leave ur comments its not that good jus sumthin i did in class Poem I feel like I'm cheating myself Playing myself wrong Lying to myself Making stuff up as I go along Wondering how it would be If that one day of the rest of your life came Would I be crying or would it just happen to me Would it be interesting, or would it be lame Thinking about you About everything we've talked about Sat here and wondered how it would be to laugh with you My wish is to just hang out I hate you I love you Can't stop thinking of you Hurt you "Messed with you" "Didn't care for you" Love you Wish for you Want you Know you Like you Hate me, hate I Dumb mistakes, stupid lies Seeking, wanting, barely there, When in need your never aware Our love is strong Yes its true, and for so long Call me inpatient and pathetic I don't know how I'm feeling, just lovesick? Don't be mean, I'm just a chick. I'm old news, an overplayed lyric, Yes I like you; there's even a feeling in my stomach Now I just panic What if I lose you? I'll just be dumbstruck? At the moment my hearts a maze You and I have been through thick and thin so many days, Don't know how to feel I guess we need time to heal So we have proper conclusion, and seal. |
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| Emotional Reality | ||||
| 10:21pm 18/12/2003 | ||||
I cant get enough of this i need to write all my feelings in my head down if its one thing calling me something higher then everyone else as an insult and u sayin its annoying of me or whatever im confusing but damn thats annoying.... i swear to god thatll hurt the most..... people dont know my fuckin life, you shouldnt pry into it... when i let someone know everything your pretty special sine day 1 and if im in yours im the richest, highest girl in my power , bullying sucks, verbal abuse is mean. weve all gone thru it mostly .... my life is fuckin hard so is everyone elses its hard to not cry its hard to get through it we all have difficulties and all have break throughs when were happy and you think nothing can get you down but yeah.. unfortunately it does... i want to get out of my life... i dont know why but i keepthinking theres something so much better for me,... something for me forever and eternity.. from what my mother says it sounds beautfiul, it hurts so muc more to stay alive with the cold people screaming at you for being ugly before you go to sleep thats all u can imagine are stupid flashbacks of when your fuckin friends die n ur right beside them watching them go holding there hand n you go to say you love them then ur nose starts to bleed it never bleeds thats why its so weird then when ur mom gets in a severe car crash your friends fuckin say trash about it i dont know but man anyways get off that subject my minds just racing im tlaking to 2 lovely guys Matt and Edgar. Wow I just noticed it but... there always there for me 100% even though they dont live around me, they have some of the best advice ((same with Jonathan )) my mindd i need to get stuff off -- --homework, Narrative, whole book summarization, --why did i cut --why is that bitch mad at me again, edgar says shes fuckin jealous i dunno man shes really pissing me off lately.... --poem fo mooooom --christmas --I spent a long time crying last night i just wanted to die, people are just maaking it worse... i dont know but have u ever had that feeling when u want to scream everything out on the top of your lungs. When you want to lock yourself in a room and stay in a corner. whn you want to slit ur wrists and die. when you try and climb the walls screaming in pain that you want to get out of your life,... --Have you ever been hurt. A broken heart from som guy doesnt count... I mean seriously... have you been really hurt verbally and trapt in thee emotional reality... I dontknow sometimes when im really upset i can see things... things that are white from the corner of my eye.. not ghosts.. thats too obvious just something.. -- now you see im spilling all my fuckin feelings for you... havent done this for anyone not like theyd get the time to care... youve entered my life ........ fucking journal lol... OMG ------conclusion...this is the first time i was ever clear of myself spilling everything i think is makin me feel way better.... but i cant trust anyone its hard to.. whenever i enter a emotional reality its filled with hate and blood its real scary i mean ive lived through it alot its my mind making illusions of everything shitty but it takes ONE simple fuckin friend to get me out. One friend I will love forever thats there for me 100% - Cassandra Matt Jonathan-- Untill more thoughts of thee brain love always alayna |
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| 07:57pm 18/12/2003 | ||||
Guys: Adam, Jeremy, Kimma, Gurls: Sarah Kourtni Sheila Ashley Cassandra Laira Ronnie Kelsey Lisa Sarah Susan Holly Jue Amanda Amanda2 Amanda3 Alice lorena Brenda Shannon Kaitlyn Kylie Candace Linda Dayna Jessica Kate Jessica2 Kaleigh Chelsea Katrina Amber Melissa Brittany Ashely Amanda4 Deanna Brittany2 Samantha Julie -- I missed anybody itll probably come to me im just bored so i listed them on top of my head well talk to you laterrrrr |
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satisfied| 03:00pm 18/12/2003 | ||||
this morning my dad said my mom was crying ! because she thinks i hate her n wont hug her yeahyeah lol anyways its almost christmass im gunna make a lil countdown i think i might even make a community... do you think thad b nyce? anyways Ill post later im talking to this really lovely guy named Jonathan on msn messenger..ttyl love you!! |
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determined|
munkyalwayz |
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