| 63.5. Meal plan day 5. |
[16 May 2008|06:10am] |
Yesterday went so, so well up until a point. I eaten a small amount of chips and pizza instead of some other things. Later on at night I just was lazy and eaten some chocolate and then purged. It was a very small stupid incident - which I am not dwelling on a great deal. It gave me a taste of what I dont want to do again. Lost quite a bit of weight since yesterday morning, that wasnt due to purging because I weighed myself yesterday beforehand - and the numbers had gone down a lot then. I just cant help but think I would have weighed less today if I had not have purged. Anyway - today will be good. I am going to scrap the points system - that doesnt work.
I am also going to add my own things to the meal plan to increase my intake slightly.
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| Trendsetter |
[15 May 2008|11:01am] |
Angelina - ok Jack Black did it for her - confirms twins!
Everyone is copying me.
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| 64.6. Meal Plan Day 4. |
[15 May 2008|06:21am] |
I am unsure about yesterday. I think I did OK - but I am not sure. I have 2 different parts of my brain trying to bash out on whether I screwed up or not. For the last few days I dont feel I have been eating enough, I feel knackered and I lie awake all night, so yesterday I upped my intake a little bit no binges, no overdoing it. I eaten 7 chips and 1/12 of a beef burger, I also converted the soup to a yoghurt - Thats not a lot, but it still wasnt on my meal plan - but I felt so amazing afterwards, and I slept all last night. I dont want it to be a bad thing - but I just cant work out if it is or not. The eating disordered part of my brain is telling me I failed and I am greedy. I suppose I would just like some objective views on if that is ok or not. I still lost weight so I suppose that it doesnt really matter at the end of the day :S I just need to know if I can give myself a point for the day!
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| Question....... |
[14 May 2008|01:26am] |
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Does anybody know, can you reduce the amount of sodium in canned veggies by draining them and then rinsing them under running water?
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| Diet Week # 19..................... |
[14 May 2008|12:50am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Well, I think there is good news and bad news this week.
Bad News: I am still in positive numbers for weight lose. :(
Good News: I actually lost weight this week. I was expecting to gain a little more and face the shame of telling you all, but also knowing I was ready to get on the right track. I didn't lose a lot, but it's a start in the right direction. :)
( Da Numbers )
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| 65.2. Meal Plan Day 3. |
[14 May 2008|06:31am] |
This is suprisingly a very good thing for me. I am doing very well. I know it has only been 2 whole days - and its still very much a novelty - but right this moment - its working. Its easy in work though - real challange is going to be the weekend :S
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| Cerebral New Age makes me happy |
[13 May 2008|10:45am] |
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mood |
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 rejuvenated |
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music |
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XM 77 |
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I have XM radio in my new vehicle & I am now addicted to it. CH 77 is "Audio Visions". My friend who owns a spa keeps it on this all day & it makes me feel like I am at a spa. With XM you can listen at home thru your computer. My husband has Sirrius which I loved until I got XM. I think the channels are better. Maybe its more user friendly because its built in my vehicle & with his its the reote equipment you plug in. I also have a sunroof which I never had before so my drive back from Pilates today was amazing!!
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| 65.7. Meal Plan Day 2. 1 Point. |
[13 May 2008|06:32am] |
Yesterday was ok. I am hoping for equal success today! Will update properly later in day.
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| Food and a weekend update stuff |
[12 May 2008|06:15pm] |
food plan for the week
( Read more... )
Taking a look at my food plan, I feel like it's pretty kick ass. I'm sticking my tongue out at my mom right now. Man oh man.
So...yesterday, I got the full body grope down by my mom. She determined that I am not big enough for her liking. Now TRUST, I have already put on a fair amount of weight, but the thing is, I have a long torso, and while my previously tiny waist has gotten much thicker, I'm not obviously showing yet, and depending on what I wear (I dress to hide it), it's not completely clear how much weight I've gained. So anyways, no one can say I'm not eating enough, because I've already gained about ten pounds. I mean, it goes up and down abit, but an average of ten already, so honestly, I'm a bit ahead of where I should be. Obviously I was completely mortified about the grope down, and it made me more self conscious than ever. I mean it's bad enough without that. She told me I wasn't heavy enough, and then she yelled at me for not eating enough, yelled at me for not wanting to eat sweets, and the whole nine yards. Ugh. See the thing is, she has a sweet tooth, but if anything, I have a salty or a fatty tooth. I'd pick burgers, pizza, cheese, fried chicken or nachos over cookies, brownies, ice cream, or anything like that, so she thinks I'm nuts and that I'm over dieting. So annoying. Then she yelled at me about how she thinks I eat too many eggs and how she thinks I shouldn't eat soy products. It was fucking endless. Then she food pushed me to eat all this food, and then I felt woefully uncomfortable like I tend to now if I overeat. I get indigestion like it's my job because I have something inside me that's the size of an avocado and because my uterus has like tripled in size and because there's not much room in there. This of course made her yell at me more. She told me the shower would be however she wanted...Turns out she didn't have one because she lived away from her fam at the time...hmmmmm....then she yelled at me about how she wants to pick the baby furniture out and how this and how that...
I'm telling you, if I had a few glasses of wine in me (like everyone else did), I might have been in a good enough mood to tolerate this onslaught....alas....
Anyhoooo...I have a total case of pregnancy brain. It's like ADD^2. I can't keep my mind on task to save my life. I have become completely reliant upon lists to help me get things done, and the already boring meetings that I have to attend have become completely impossible for me to pretend to focus on. GAH!
I dont' remember what I did on Friday. This probably means we hung out. I cleaned the whole house, and it is friggin' spotless. On Saturday, we slept in. That was cool. Mike, who we almost never see came over, and that was cool. We hung out all day, and then we went out for burgers. YUM! On Sunday, D made me breakfast, and he got me a card and an orchid, which was very sweet. Then we went to dinner, which aside from the incessant nagging and groping, was very delicious and pleasant.
And yes, I've done my toning band exercises. Yay! Errr....that's pretty much it. Woo hoo!
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| Articles! |
[12 May 2008|05:07pm] |
Fruit and Veggie Myths- Why certain foods get a bad rap, why they're good for you, and the best way to eat 'em!
3 Easy Antidotes to Overeating- These steps are beyond easy. Check 'em out!
Office Ab Workout- Do you log too many desk hours? If so, check out this video for some moves you can do at your desk!
Get Fit at Home- Looking to shape up without the gym and with minimal equipment? Check out this article. It offers several different plans, depending on your goals. Each plan uses between two and three dvds to help you achieve your objective! If you're shopping for these dvds, I strongly suggest shopping around online. You can get a lot of these really cheap, especially if you buy them used. ; )
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| 67kg. Day 1 Meal Plan. 2 points. |
[12 May 2008|07:48pm] |
First day is going ok. It is suprisingly easier not getting excited about things. I didnt pick at anything at work today. Didnt feel particularly hungry which is good.
Contemplating some good old exercise now!
EDIT:
Just went for 2 mile walk, not much - but exercise nonetheless. Legs hurting too much to run after doing loads over weekend. I know I am not eating enough to carry out hardcore exercise routine.
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| Brain fog |
[12 May 2008|01:00pm] |
My head is in a fog, and I feel like I can't focus sufficiently on anything. At all.
It's amazing.
Not in a good way either.
Between the house and work and the brain fog, I feel like I can't keep up with everything and I'm just kind of going through the motions. I seriously can't wait until the end of June when things can slow down here and I won't have so much to worry about and try to keep straight.
Saw my mom yesterday. She yelled at me about everything from my weight to what I'm eating, to what I'm not eating, to how the baby shower isn't for me and has nothing essentially to do with me, and...well...pretty much everything.
Food
( Read more... )
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| fitness update |
[12 May 2008|11:09am] |
This past week, I didn't do too bad. I didn't quite make my goals, but I didn't fall too short either.
Good
- I walked to and from work every day (30 mins total per day)
- I walked for 30 minutes during lunch on 4/5 days
- I did about 20 mins of upper body weights on Saturday
- I did about 20 mins of pilates leg work and stretching during the work week
Not as Good
- I didn't make it to the gym...work and house cleaning got in the way
- I didn't officially do dvds, but the leg lifts and the upper body work are close approximations.
Food
- All fairly decent, but I really, really, really need to drink more water!
This Week
-I want to do just as well, and I want to get to the gym at least once!!!
-I also want to drink more water.
-I want to start doing my toning exercises again at my desk...I felt like those made a difference.
What are you guys doing????
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| My first serious meal plan. Starts tomorrow. |
[11 May 2008|04:22pm] |
Right, I mean business!! Gotta sort all this stuff out - there is just no sense in the way I eat. Its far too chaotic - I am not living life right now - I am just being messed up. I have devised a meal plan to sort out my diet. I am going to eat the same thing everyday - I want to take the excitement out of eating, I want it to be boring so I dont spend every waking minute thinking of food. I am hoping once I get used to it I will be able to live a little.
It should probably be more calories - but right now I dont think thats a good idea, if its anymore I feel I am likely to end up purging. Its what I have to do right now anyway.
7.30 - porridge - 153
10.00 - snack - 100
13.00 - Pasta - 250
17.00 - snack - 80
17.30 - pineapple, mango and blueberries - 153
19.00 - stirfry (80) and peppered quorn fillets (108) - 188
21.00 - soup - 82
Total - 1006 cals.
Every other day I can have a portion of rice pudding (either weight watchers 108 or muller rice small 164, normal 220).
After 7 days of sticking to it I will consider changing it for some variety.
Supplements will include: Vit B, Omacor, Gingko Biloba and Osteocare.
I will get one point for each day I adhere to meal plan and 1 point for any exercise. 3 points will be deducted if I purge. If I get 15 points my reward will be a coffee machine, 30 points for hair straighteners!!!!
This better work........
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| Bad day. |
[09 May 2008|10:54am] |
I'm warning you now. This is going to be a negative post.
I'm super bummed today, and I'm having the sort of day where it would probably be for the best for me to go home and go to sleep.
My allergies are out of control today. Everything outside is covered with pollen. My eyes have doubled in size, and not in a good way. They are itching like mad, and I'm exhausted. I'm congested. I feel like the good year blimp. I went for blood work today, and that woman harpooned my arm, and it hurts. It still hurts. I'm going to have the nastiest bruise ever. They weighed me, and now I am completely demoralized. I looked at my banking statements, and now I am completely depressed because everytime I look at them, I realize that I can't afford anything at all ever again. Ever. Not even if it's on sale. Not even if I have a coupon. Not even if it's cheap and on sale. If it's not free, I can't have it.
And yes, this includes the following things I really want:
- cute wooden bracelet
-cute new sunglasses...my old ones are broken
-white bag because I don't have one, and I want one for summer/spring
-new flats because my feet just aren't comfortable
-maxi dresses because they hide the fat
I was broke ass before, but it's gotten much worse. Obviously I was on a shoe string budget given that my husband is a full time student, but now we're actively saving for a house, and my student loans have gone into repayment, which is awesome. I actually have about...after transfering my share of money into our joint account (pays for bills and rent and stuff), paying student loans, and paying my monthly investment, I have a whopping total of $80 a month to spend, which obviously goes towards paying off my credit cards, which means I don't have ANY money to spend ever. Any meaning ZERO. Nothing. Ever. Ever. This is beyond demoralizing. This sucks because I'm shallow, and while I obviously don't feel physically pretty, I feel a lot prettier if I'm dressed in cute things, and if I at least look as nice as I can. *sigh* This money thing isn't going to get any better until....sometime far into next year. And it's just going to get worse. I have to buy stuff for Father's Day, my Dad's birthday....I hate money.
Our house also recently got inspected. It is for the most part in perfect condition, except for the 10-20% of the house that has wood siding. Because the house is in a historic neighborhood, vinyl siding can't be used. Anyhow, the siding is old, rotten, and needs to be replaced. Plus, the building will need to be painted becuase the siding is....so all of this will cost about 10k. Shoot me.
The hormones of course, are making all of this much worse, so what would be a really, really bad day, is basically turning into a bad case of the mean reds, but worse. I know I shouldn't complain. I know people have it worse. Ugh....
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| Goal |
[08 May 2008|08:56am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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mute math "control" |
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I'm just writing to say that I reached my goal weight today & I did it the thin & healthy way. For a self-proclaimed restricting anorexic to "recover" & maintain a healthy weight was a big enough challenge. Then I got pregnant with twins. I had a healthy pregnancy & two luminous, healthy babies. Now I've lost my baby weight & I did it without crashing. Healthy eating & exercise --- all the way. I am doing battle with my disordered mind every day, but this community always helps. THANK YOU ALL so much for the support. I appreciate it more than I can say.
Even though I am at my goal weight, this is actually the most dangerous time for a person like me. Maintaining health & not being obsessed by numbers is my new goal now.
XO
marnie
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| she shoots....she scores |
[08 May 2008|08:54am] |
I reached my goal---- 126 today.
where do we go now?
I, of course, want a few cushion pounds. Is that me or my ED talking? I have to be dedicated to healthy eating& proper nutrition. Anyway, hooray 4 me. I did it the T&H way. I need to stay that way.
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| shark in the pool? |
[07 May 2008|06:08am] |
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Being this close to my goal presents a problem:
wanting a cushion.
126 doesn't seem like enough anymore. I want a few pounds of a cushion just in case, That is how a disordered mind thinks. I've been losing for 3 months now. How do I stop? Isn't a "cushion" an excuse not to stop? Weight loss is control. I haven't even mourned two devestating losses in my life yet. I've become a mother. So much change. Weight loss has always been my drug of choice. As I approach my goal these are actually dangerous waters. I'm scared. Numbers going down is relieving. It always has been. I need to really focus on healthy eating & having energy. Feeling good needs to be more important than numbers. The focus has to come off numbers right now. HEALTHY....that needs to be the mantra.
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| Diet Week 18............... |
[07 May 2008|02:23am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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It has been a couple of weeks now and I have failed miserably.
I have reverted to all my old habits. Eat, eat, eat........
One of my nieces is getting married in July and that is also my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. I am also hoping to go to Las Vegas in September. Shouldn't all of that be enough to make me want to lose some weight. To say nothing of needing to lose the weight for health reasons.
Now what from that list isn't enough to make me stick to a diet?
( The Numbers )
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[06 May 2008|12:07pm] |
Anyone up for a challenge of some sort??
I've fallen off of the healthy-food wagon and need help getting back on!
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