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[28 Dec 2003|04:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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smile empty soul |
] |
hey, im so bored. i took down all the christmas lights today...and my mom is being a bitch about everything...so im here...as usual. me and andrea were bored today so we went and spraypainted a ditch...fun.yay...no more to say...so...here is one of my favorite songs...
Every Sunday-Smile Empty Soul
i don't have time for your solutions
and i don't wanna deal with your mistakes
no matter how much medication
the doctor says i need to take
i still say....
you're the ones that kill your babies
you're the ones that fuck your kids
you're the ones that throw each other away
you're the ones sitting in church every sunday
and i don't want your religions
and i don't need your sympathies
and i don't want a part of all your hatred
no matter how much you yell at me
i still say...
you're the ones that kill your babies
you're the ones that fuck your kids
you're the ones that throw each other away
you're the ones sitting in church every sunday
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| christmas |
[27 Dec 2003|03:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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scarling-creep |
] |
christmas was fun...i got tons of cool stuff. i got new cybals for my drum set!!! yay!! im so happy. oh, i got the nightmare before chirstmas socks, scarling and the doors CD, and a bunch of hello kitty stuff...yay!!! ...i have nothing more to say...
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| joy to the fucking world |
[24 Dec 2003|01:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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bleeding through |
] |
hey im in san antonio right now for christmas...very bored. im so mad cause my grandpas computer doesn't have aim...so i cant talk to anyone.. *tear*. i cant wait till tomorrow....NOT...my whole family is coming over...*spits in disgust* and if i hear anymore god damn singing...i swear..i will shoot whoever it is!! Everyone is in such a good fucking mood...except me...(of course) but WHY THE HELL do they have to sing??? GOD>>>KILL ME NOW!! this is the only thing to do cause my mom and grandma are in a trance or somthing, and if i go in the kitchen, they will scream at me and start cussing about how im screwing everything up..so...im here...listening to all the fucking singing....god...my grandma hates me....EVIL!!!! she always yells at me and stuff....i really dont get it. i had 4 virgin *wink wink* margaritas last night....yum. mmmm im eating christmas gummy bears...they look really scary...like they're horny or somthing...owell. i need aim.....*crawls into corner to die*.....it's kind of scary how obsessed i am with it...but owell....i guess we all are. ok...im leaving now because i just wasted 5 minutes of your time. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!! love you ethan. -erin-
*leaves to go kill all the fucking carolers*
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[22 Dec 2003|03:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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scarling-creep |
] |
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo
What the hell I am doing here?
I don't belong here...
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo
What the hell I am doing here?
I don't belong here...
She's running out the door
She's running
She run
run, run, run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo
What the hell I am doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
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[21 Dec 2003|06:41pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
] |
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music |
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scarling-band aid covers the bullet hole |
] |
today was so pointless.....i did nothing except watch football and sleep. i went to the park though..that was fun. Ethan gave me a rose...i was like...yay!! hehe...my mom was all like...oh my god...lol. i think im getting sick or somthing....not good, especially since its almost christmas...i've had like 5 cups of coffee so im like wide awake.owell. i have nothing more to say so....here's my favorite poem....
A DREAM
by Edgar Allan Poe
(1827)
In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.
Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?
That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.
What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?
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| 100 stories |
[20 Dec 2003|01:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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alkaline trio |
] |
you're in the next room sleeping and i'm shouting out a song for you
i shouldn't wake you over the furnace, but i should swear to someone you'd have loved every note
so dream a good one tonight. i'll listen to the bad ones when they come
get up in my ear 'til i hear every word. with every turn of your tongue i will tighten my grip
no one could tell even if i fell one hundred stories straight down
no one could tell even if i fell one hundred stories down
i was getting bored with hurting myself
if you fall down enough, well soon enough, you will find hell
it can't be as pretty as we hoped it would be
it's not even warm here, not even ten degrees
this bed is too big to sleep in, and i'm dying just to feel you breath.
you couldn't see across the ocean, but i was turning over 'til the vampires sleep
so dream a good one tonight. i'll listen to the bad ones when they com.
get up in my ear 'til i hear every word. with every turn of your tongue i will tighten my grip
no one could tell even if i fell one hundred stories straight down
no one could tell even if i fell one hundred stories down
i was getting bored with hurting myself
if you fall down enough, well soon enough, you will find hell
it can't be as pretty as we hoped it would be
it's not even warm here, not even ten degrees
dream a good one tonight
i was getting bored with hurting myself
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| boredomness |
[19 Dec 2003|11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
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vendetta red-shatterday |
] |
wheeeeeeeee *feels refreshed* wow...i have nothing to do so im writing in here again...tomorrow i get to celebrate christmas w/ my dads side of the family....im so happy...my dog just bit the hell out of my leg....*mutters* "fucking little..." i have to wait up until my family gets here....*not excited*...they prolly wont get her until like...2 a.m. or somthing...god....everyone needs to die...eeeeeeeewwwwww....SICK!!!!!! my dog just barfed on the floor.......omigod...gross...!! *wishes she could fly away* ...that would be fun....then you could like...go anywhere cause no one could stop you cause you'd be all like....haha...fly up here and get me...oh!!! that's right....you can't!!!! mwahhahahahaha!!! then you'd just like...fly away...that would be awesome...i need coffee...yes!! coffee...mmmmmmmm....yum....k....i just wasted like...2 minutes of your time....haha!!!! ...i have nothing more to say...
...haha!!! horny little hampster!!!!...
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[19 Dec 2003|09:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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i miss you-blink 182 |
] |
im so sad....i did absolutely nothing today...god....im so lazy. except i did have a big fight with my mom...i threatened to start cutting my arm again, and she started crying...god...i feel like shit...sometimes i wish that last time had worked...god...i dont know...i need to start taking those pills again....maybe that would help...i dont know. i dont have to go back to therapy for a month!!!! YAY!!! god...i hate her...we could all like...go to her house and kill her or something...that would be cool. (im kidding) i think about killing people too much....god...that's scary...it's not like im going to kill someone or anything....though...sometimes i wish i could....especially her. well, this journal is totally pointless... i need to shower and i feel like shit....so i have nothing more to say...
You are Sally. You are suspicious and like to
explore whenever I get the chance.
the nightmare before christmas character quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
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[18 Dec 2003|09:55pm] |
your fuck.
What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.
Ever wanted your picture taken with your favourite
celebrity? Well why not fake it and fool all
your friends for fun! Click href=http://freekart.cjb.net>HERE
What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| lost... |
[18 Dec 2003|09:27pm] |
i watch the knife
cut through my wrist,
i am suddenly cold
scared
tears stream down my face
into my bloody arm
it stings like hell
but i feel no pain
50,000 scars of silence
i think i've given up
there's nothing left of me
except my slow suicide
my bloody scars of silence
bloody suicide
slow, but painless
take me home
to my escape
50,000 scars of silence
i think i've given up
there's nothing left of me
except my slow suicide
my bloody scars of silence
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[18 Dec 2003|08:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Evanescence-Turniquet |
] |
omigod....i just got back from therapy...god...she needs to die!! my mom's all like...therapy is supposed to help you get your feelings out....um...IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE FUCKING ANGRY AT THE WORLD...after everything i say shes like "And how does that make YOU feel?" um...hello?!?! angry!!! isn't that why i'm here?!? omg...i just want to die...
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| yay!!! |
[08 Dec 2003|07:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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blink 182-I miss You |
] |
hell yea!!!!!!!! we rock....43 to 7!!!! we kicked Dean's ass!! imsorry....im just really happy...yay!! ok...well, i have nothing more to say...
My inner child is six years old!
Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[06 Dec 2003|07:41pm] |
Why I Wear Black
by Artemis Hunter
A pair of judgmental eyes,
“You're weird.”
I look down at my jean-capris,
She's wearing a revealing pair of baby-blue shorts,
A V-neck shirt, mine is a plain, baggy Tee.
I walk away puzzled, what's her problem?
In class, I finish my work and start drawing a dragon in my sketchbook,
It's coming out really good.
But then I heard them whispering:
“Weirdo.”
“All she draws is dragons.”
“Maybe she's a witch.”
My pencil freezes and I stare at them.
“I'm not a witch,” I say.
They fake shudders and giggle.
I stopped talking after that, it only made things worse.
Then I heard that medium and darker colors attracted less attention.
So I wore grays and dark blues.
My tormentors didn't quit.
So I tried the dreaded thing known as conformity.
I wore the tighter shirt and the skanky blue pants.
It was uncomfortable and I felt like a slut.
But worst of all,
I felt like some one else.
So I never did it again.
But when I looked in the mirror again wearing a gray shirt,
I gasped.
“I look so character-less! So dull! So... vulnerable.”
And out of the corner of my eye,
I spied the catalyst,
a black shirt.
I put it on and looked in the mirror.
I looked... right.
I looked unobtrusive, yet threatening at the same time.
So I didn't give up my dragons.
The populars and preps griped,
I started wearing a Celtic-knot necklace,
People without a life bothered and pissed,
I got a black-leather jacket,
They started petty bantering,
I widened my vocabulary,
they talked,
I sent them whimpering under rocks,
I made new friends, a lot of them like me.
That's why I changed,
That's why I wear black,
Because it has made my life smoother,
It has made me invincible,
It has made me ME.
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[06 Dec 2003|07:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
With a gentle kiss and the flow of blood
My decent into darkness so begins
As my lifeblood is drained my heartbeat stops
But I shall not be punished for my sins
I am no longer mortal or alive
Yet I do not enter Heaven or Hell
To reach immortality as the rest
It is my dear soul I must sell
I have gone to eternal purgatory
I have seen what immortality brings
I have told you my strange story
And for me nary an angel sing
here's some quotes cuz i couldn't think of anything better...
"Kill one man you're a murderer. Kill many, you're a conquerer. Kill 'em all, you're a god."-Dave Mustaine
"I have nothing against your Christ. I'm sure his blood tasted as sweet as anyone elses."-Christian, Lost Souls
"...being Goth, for me, is seeing beauty, and its coming destruction, at the same time. For me..It's the last dance as the walls are crumbling around you..." Beatgrrl
"[Goth] is the ability to find the art where art seems to be lacking; to find the light in the darkness and embrace it for all its worth..." Jennifer Mason
" Life is just a dream on the way to death."
" The perfect kiss is with the boy you just stabbed to death."
" and i'm bleeding (X3) happy for my lord, all the words are going to bleed from me and i will think no more " The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
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| AC/DC-HIGHWAY TO HELL |
[28 Nov 2003|10:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too I'm on the highway to hell
No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me round
Hey Satan, payed my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey Momma, look at me I'm on my way to the promised land
I'm on the highway to hell (Don't stop me)
And I'm going down, all the way down
I'm on the highway to hell
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[27 Nov 2003|08:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Scarling-Halloween Valentine |
] |
hey i cant think of much to say so...yea...here is a poem...
Broken Roses
Thick is my blood
That unleashes this bloody hell.
I was so high above you,
That I fell.
The knife is not yet finished
Torturing my flesh,
I die even deeper with each breath.
Every touch crumbles me;
I have been crucified,
Once again you resurrected me
And I hate you
For, you refuse to bare my plea.
The darkness is burrying me,
Further down in this grave.
I wanted to love you,
But I could never have been that brave.
For, it is thy fire
That has raptured me.
I am spreading slowly,
Expanding, growing, feeling more
With each and every scream.
And yet, no matter how hard I try,
I cannot awake from this dream hell.
And you could never tell I was there at all
Until you light you fire,
And you will see my apparition,
And before your eyes, I will fall.
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[26 Nov 2003|10:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
evanescence |
] |
Give Unto Me
I've been watching you from a distance
The distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you (save you)
I'll save you
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
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artistic
