Kittie's Blurty Day [entries|friends|calendar]

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... [14 Mar 2004|03:25pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | Stoned Sour ~ Bother ]

Practically every fucking entry on this goddamned journal has me being a stupid teenage girl whining and crying about a stupid guy who took advantage of me again. And i know your probably thinking when am i ever going to learn...or get a life and just shut up. Well if that’s how you feel then go read another pathetic person's life ok? Billy... A name repeated so many times in my life being my dad's name, my middle name and my recent boyfriend's name. Well this entry is obviously not about my middle name...and it could be about my dad, but its not. It’s about Billy Lincoln. My recent boyfriend who i honestly thought was my one and only. And so did many others as well. Ok...lets start from the beginning shall we?
Friday, February 7th, 2004. I went to the bowling alley as usual. As i go every weekend and meet new people practically every time. Well the week before i had met this girl, Peewee. Nickname made because of the height of this 14 or 15 year old short person. Well she had come to bowling again on the 7th and had brought this guy along named Billy. At first i thought he was a stupid crapper rapper (rap music listener) because of his clothes, which was a bad assumption, and at first was a big turn off. Later that night he takes his hoodie off...revealing a Bam of my favorite people/skater in the world. I was hooked. I flirted with him like all night. Cuz i feel if he dun get that i like him from me staring at him and like forever poking him then there’s got to be something wrong. Well i started to actually talk to him and found out that he really liked the girl Peewee and that he had just asked her out but she never answered. Well later that night my friend from NFA (the school i was attending at the time) Andrew Laiti shows up and is a little messed on some many drugs...Well Peewee is practically in love with this kid. She ends up being all over him and then turning Billy down saying she wouldn't wanna feel bad WHEN not if WHEN she cheats on him. Well i didn't know this all happened and i keep talking to Peewee telling her that Billy likes her...and she responding with an i dun care. Well after i kept bothering her...she finally caught on that i liked him and told him that i did. Well by now, one of my favorite songs...Homies by ICP comes on...being a pretty unknown one really starts to get hyped with it on except for me, Stacey (a regular as well) and Billy. Surprisingly he knew practically more words than i did. it was weird ...that was when we actually both started liking each other. it was great. Rite after this...we start writing note to each other. Fun Fun...i give him my number cuz he asked for it and then i...being as weird as i am. Tell him one of my fetishes. I love making out with strange people i just meet...especially ones i like of course. he agrees and like we make out for the last 5 minutes of the night. *Fun Fun*...I loved it. .I was hooked...but i didn't know what i was getting myself into. The next day he planned and we talk for a little while...getting to know each other i guess...well we go to the movies and i make out with him again...and end up telling him the i was recently dating this kid Smurf and that if him and i were ever going to date...there would be a lot of fighting in the process. There is...but we get through it and on February 14th, 2004. On Valentines Day ...I ask him out 2 minutes to 12...making it still the 14th. Well we date ...have fun together...go bowling a lot and hang at his house a lot. Well just recently. Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004 …I go to his father’s house. It’s a half a days so we figure if his dad gets home at 3:30 and we get there about 12:45 then we have a lot of time together. Alone. It doesn’t exactly go as we planned…because his mother realizes the fact that it is a half a day and has her boyfriend pick us up and bring us to Billy’s mothers house until his dad gets home. We find this out and we go upstairs and… a lot of new, but exciting things happen. Billy took my virginity and from that moment on. I thought nothing would ever be wrong in the world. I feel he is mine and only mine forever. We run outside and make sure we play it off like we never went inside. We arrive at his house and hang out until his mothers’ boyfriend leaves. Well then we go upstairs…alone …telling his grandmother we have to work on a project on the computer. While we’re upstairs…still a little over excited from earlier…we play around a little…him fingering me and such and me giving him his first blowjob and my second attempt to give one on him. Which would be the only time and person I have. Now that I’ve grossed you out…lets get off this subject since there isn’t much to tell and jump to this Tuesday, March 9th, 2004. It’s the last period of the day and Billy walks out of his class…grabbing my hand and walking me to the bus and kissing me goodbye…nothing different at all…so I thought anyways. On the bus, that I share with Peewee (the girl from the bowling alley) I get this note that Stacey and her are writing back and forth…(Stacey is my best friend and she is on my bus too) well it is telling Stacey that she likes Billy and not to tell me. Well Stacey being who she is gives me the note. I don’t really care about it and just ignore it until I get a new note, a conversation between Billy and Peewee from last period.

The Note: (I only got the second Part so the beginning starts off a little confusingly but you’ll get it)

Peewee: “that’s why you can’t tell her… cuz I still like you – I was going to say that we could be friends with benefits, but you got her.”

Billy: “Trust me, if we stop going out, I would love to be and I don’t throw around the L-Word.”

Peewee: “No the thing is I though the Marriage thing was serious?”

Billy: “I don’t think it is, but I think she does, She is depressed and constantly hugging me and shit. It brings me down.”

Peewee: “Well I can bring you up ^. All of you!”

Billy: “I Like that. :-P”

Peewee: “Hell yeah, name the time, place and how hard.”

Billy: “You want to cum come over my house? We can do it doggy style. :-P”

Peewee: “No I like being on top.”

Billy: “So, reverse cowboy then?”

Peewee: “What?”

Billy: “Never mind then, Sex…just sex.”
Peewee: “I guess that works.”

I hate this. All of this bull he’s put me through. I thought he really liked me.I can't believe he broke up with me 5 days after he took my virginity. I cried for 5 days straight. He broke up with me for a midget chick who likes everyone. They aren’t dating, and she said she did this just to break the best couple up in the school. So it would leave room for her and her boyfriend that she doesn’t have. Its stupid, but its not just Peewee that broke us up. Billy has other personal reasons that I will not talk about to anyone. Last night he told me he wanted to be friends with benefits with me, but he never really did anything with me. He wouldn’t even let me hang around him much. My stupid ness has upset one of our friends named Paul. He’s been the only one who has been behind me the whole time and pulling me through this all. I hate it. I’ve been such a stupid bitch. Why can’t I get over him? I wish I could, but I Love Him. :’(

.:. BaM.:.

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