D's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[31 Aug 2005|08:47pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I've been kinda depressed all day, I don't know why. My schedule for school basically sucks well the people in my classes. They're all homophobic assholes who kept giving me looks, arg! The only classes I really enjoyed were Chorus and French 2 but then again when do I hate either of them? I love to sing and j'adore le fracias! Yeah, surprisingly enough I'm a soprano in Chorus which is kinda weird usually I'm more an alto but it was too low for me. But Major said that she had a small soprano section anyways so I guess it's good. But...grr. I'm basically alone in 1st, 3rd, 6th, and 8th. I have no classes with Corina(I'm gonna miss talking to her), only one class with Britt and in school she doesn't treat me like I'm even there. It really agrrevates me because the whole time I was back in PA, I offered to keep her company and hang out with her and now she acts like I'm not even alive. Thanks I feel so good now. I don't see Sam at all. This year's gonna suck so badly.

I don't have a ride up to the twist now so I don't get to see Julia. *sigh* Oh well.

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Been awhile [30 Aug 2005|08:03pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Kanye West-Gold Digger ]

I haven't updated in forever. I know, sorry. Tomorrow school starts back up, happyness really. I've been looking forward to it actually.

The other night I was on the phone with Julia and I asked her if maybe she'd come to the semi with me in november. i don't know if you're allowed to take people outside the school but i hope so. I get to see her on friday at the twist I can't wait too because she's been really stressed out latly, I've been calling her every night now and she's really stressed and I hope when I see her I can cheer her up and calm her down a bit. Lol. Last night I was talking to her and she goes and takes a bath while I'm talking to her! She was like telling me that she was getting undressed and all. God she was being sooo mean. I told her she was being mean and of course she has to act all sweet and innocent "aww, why?" lol...Oh I don't know, just talking to someone who you know has a huge crush on you and would do anything to see her...nevermind. *claps hand over mouth* I'm sorry, I'm horrid. But she did ask me that if we were to go out again for me to take it slow with her. She likes romance...blah. Lol. I like sex and kinky shit, totally opposites we are. Haha, I really shouldn't write this in here but oh well. I really am starting to fall back for her...arg! But she's so damned cute and she really does trust me, just is scared to get hurt. She's afraid that when we break up that I'd treat her like her ex's is treating her, and she's afraid I'll like physically hurt her which I would never do to any girl. I wish she wasn't so scared because I want to be with her rather badly.

Ok, so...yes. School tomorrow. I picked out my outfit finally. It's very "cow-girl" chic. Haha. I'm into that stuff, finally letting the country girl out of myself I guess. But..yeah. Cowboy boots(that I'm in love with!), vintage wash jeans, black shirt under a peach button up shirt with like flowers on it, brown belt, and my dragon claw necklace, and my hair the way it always is. Maybe I'll steal some of liss' makeup. Eh, probably not but...yeah. I have to go to bed at a time that's not 4am tonight. =( meaning no talking with Julia tonight probably. Aww, I'm gonna miss hearing her cute lil voice! Well I guess I'll go now. Toodles, all.

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[25 Aug 2005|12:52pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Avril Lavigne-Who Knows ]

yesterday i hung out with Leah(senior i met back last year walking home from school) we walked around wilkes barre, doing nothing, going in and out of stores, talking about love and relationships. we went back to her house and sat in her room for about an hour, i looked at her clothes and she ended up giving me an old trackjacket that she never got around to wearing because it was too small for her. we talked about weight, being vegetarians(yeah, i'm trying to do it and i've gone a week and a half without meat). she's a little chubby but she's content with her weight, i don't know why but for some reason for that moment i was comfortable with myself. i really like how confident she is and how she just says what she wants but isn't crude or anything about it. she told me that she finds that i act older and more mature than all the other 15 year olds around here, which i love being told. i hate the other kids my age except for the choice few. kayla, britt, annabelle, angela, erin. but most of them act mature too(take kayla out of it though. hehe) i really liked hanging out with leah, she's someone i could see being a close friend and someone i keep in touch with when i move.

speaking of moving. dad's saying we're gonna stay as long as we possibly can. so i'm saying 3-4 more months. maybe more. hell who knows! but i definitely have a couple months, i'm looking forward to it too because that'll mean i can go to semi with someone.

leah and i talked about relationships, she has a boyfriend who's 24 but she rarely gets to see him because he works a lot. i told her all about julia, the situation, how i don't know how i feel about her anymore. i told her that i still have feelings for sam and she's encouraging me to try to be with sam again but i don't know. there's a girl she likes at the moment. but i don't think i like julia that much anymore. last night some guy was threatening her via AIM and i told her if anyone fucking touched her i'd kill them. i'm protective of her, i don't want her hurt but i don't know if i'd want her as my girlfriend now. now that i look at her i think "she's a little naive, she's sweet but i wouldn't see her too much because i couldn't drive to pittston to see her and she doesn't have a car. her mom would find out about us and then maybe she wouldn't let me see her or call."

last night i talked to annabelle too. it's been months since we talked but it was ok. we talked about what we both want for the future. she was surprised i didn't want to do anything with writing. she thinks i'm a really good writer but it's never been my strong point i think. i write the truth and that's it. nothing anyone wants to hear. i told her the 4 colleges that i really want to get into. bennington, eugene lang, evergreen, or the peabody. she didn't know of any of them but i recommended a couple to her and she said she was impressed with how i knew all about it. she wants to do what liss is gonna do. be an english professor and she wants to go to school in NYC so i told her eugene lang was a small college and she'd probably like. she said she'd make a note of it. i told her i want to presue a career in music and have a minor in musical history so maybe in the mean time of getting a music job i could teach at a college as a musical history professor. then we started to talk about alexis, that's when we started really talking. they still hate each other and we were talking about how to kill her. lol.

today we have an exterminator coming to get rid of the ants and flees in the basement. blah. so we all have to get out of the house for the time he's here. steff's taking me over to payless to get a pair of shoes that leah had, i liked them and she told me payless for like $10 so i'm gonna go see if they still have them. i'm a shoe fanatic now. i love my shoes! i have at least 10 pairs now; my flip flops, converse low tops, sketchers leather sneakers, cowboy boots, black boots, wedges, black and white pumps, black square toed, combat boots and now another pair today. hehe. i can't help it all of a sudden i love my shoes. ok, well i'm gonna go for now. toodles.

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[31 Jul 2005|04:36pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Evanescence-Night Tide ]

today's my birthday and i'll cry if i want to!!! lol. today's going good but it's sooo fucking hot! teh end.

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one entry back. [29 Jul 2005|02:33pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]
[ music | evanescence ]

i haven't written in god knows how long. but i was just thinking...

what's it like to be one of the popular chicks? they always seemed unreal to me, just placed there and removed when there's nothing to do, no one to look at them. is that the way it is? or are they like the rest of us? do they have nervous break downs, and insecurities? or do they think they are the best of the best and can do no wrong? do they really like to date the bad boys, drink, do drugs and all that just to be cool? or would they like a rest, sometime to just fuck off and be ok not doing all that? if i were popular i'd hate it, i'd want to be like i am now, i sit around, hang with friends, if someone fucks with me i can let it go without people saying i'm a pussy for not fighin' them. i'm not pressured to drink or smoke a lil pot. if i don't want to my friends say fine more for them. if i want to drink then we go and get it, have fun drinking together. it's not all drama, sex, and drugs. we talk, we are truely best friends not these friendships that die when someone takes the other chicks "man". i don't know. being out of the crowd seems like a lot better a time. i used to be popular back in 5th/6th grade and it never made me feel that cool. i got stabbed in the back by some girls, it was all about sex, i was 11-12 i didn't even think about sex and there were these girls talking about who had a bigger dick.

i'm sick of being so lonely though, lately. everyone is pissing me off. *sigh* i don't know. i'm done for this entry.

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been a while [10 Jul 2005|10:50am]
[ mood | exanimate ]
[ music | Nelly Furtado-Like a Bird ]

so...i never write in here anymore. oops. yesterday we went and got our coldplay tickets which was cool, but then i realized that sam's birthday is on the 16th and i have yet to get her something, arg. i commented on her myspace asking for her address which she messaged to me and i wrote her letter last night. 2 pages. her actual present i have to still get, i have a thought to what to get her but we'll see. i have to get randy to give me my money though.

we went out to dinner last night for Harv's birthday, it was ok. but there was a lot of tension at the table because randy was trying to get melissa and i to talk about politics which never goes over well. i wasn't feeling good at all so i just sat there keeping quiet, which we really are supposed to do. the children should be quiet at dinner unless spoken to first. we're supposed to have dinner with the governor after randy plays him in golf so me and liss have to be on our best behavor at dinner that night. it's on the 15th so i can't go to barnes and noble thing for the 6th harry potter book. *cries* =*(

angela IMed me and asked me what i wanted for my birthday as well as the exact date. i don't really want anything, i don't even want people to really remember the day of my birthday. most likely i'm just gonna get some money because miss aileen and harv said they'd give me some money and mom has no real clue what to get for me other than that cloak from the forget me not factory. the only thing that i want for my birthday is the day to sit down and read harry potter. oh and dinner because we're going to this really REALLY fancy restraunt, Aldo's, they have really good food there.

i don't have much else to say. i've been writing letters lately. i wrote to Diana, Sam, Julia, and Britt already. i told julia i'd send her something special. so...yeah. have to find something to send her with her letter. i'm gonna go for now though. toodles.

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stoled! [03 Jul 2005|04:07pm]
[ music | Kelly Clarkson- ]

Really Long Survey (over 200)

Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 102063 times on bzoink!

What is your name?Daniella Sions
Are you named after anyone?nope
What's your screename?vintagedevil101
Would you name a child of yours after you?never
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?Johnathan
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?no one
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?Danielle
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?no, that's so cliche
Your gender:female
Straight/Gay/Bi:total fag
If not, do you want to be?
Your age:14
Age you act:6
Age you wish you were:21
Your height:5'5"
Eye color:blue
Happy with it?yes
Hair color:blonde
Happy with it?most of the time
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:right handed, left brained
Your living arrangement:with family
Your family:sister, brother, step-mom, and dad
Have any pets?yep, 3 cats
Whats your job?employee at an animal shelter
Obsessions?music, perfection
Do you speak another language?a bit of german, swedish, french, and spanish
Have a favorite quote?"love is never jealous", "love does not choose between genders"
Do you have a webpage?not unless you count my myspace
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?i try to
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?most of the time
Do you have any secrets?many
Do you hate yourself?at times
Do you like your handwriting?sometimes
Do you have any bad habits?biting, being annoying, having bulemic tendencies
What is the compliment you get from most people?that i'm pretty, good handwriting, smart, funny
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?no clue
What's your biggest fear?the death of my friends
Can you sing?yes
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?no
Are you a loner?when i want to be i can
What are your #1 priorities in life?be as open minded as possible
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?probably
Are you a daredevil?a bit
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?my low self esteem, hold drastic i can be
Are you passive or agressive?yeah
Do you have a journal?5 of them
What is your greatest strength and weakness?strength-singing/anything artsy weakness-sports, being a good friend
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?the way i see myself and others
Do you think you are emotionally strong?no
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?yea
Do you think life has been good so far?at times
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?never take something you have for advantage
What do you like the most about your body?my face
And least?stomach, thighs
Do you think you are good looking?people tell me i am..
Are you confident?not really
What is the fictional character you are most like?Hermione Granger
Are you perceived wrongly?sometimes
Do You...
Do drugs?nope
Read the newspaper?yes
Go to church?no
Talk to strangers who IM you?yeah
Sleep with stuffed animals?no
Take walks in the rain?YES!
Talk to people even though you hate them?yeah
Drive?not yet
Like to drive fast?when i get my license i'll tell you
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?yeah
Hurt yourself?yep
Been out of the country?yeah
Eaten something that made other people sick?yes
Been in love?no
Done drugs?no
Gone skinny dipping?yes
Had a medical emergency?yes
Had surgery?no
Ran away from home?yes
Played strip poker?no
Gotten beaten up?no
Beaten someone up?verbally yes
Been picked on?who hasn't?
Been on stage?yes
Slept outdoors?yep
Thought about suicide?all the time
Pulled an all nighter?yep
If yes, what is your record?4 days straight
Gone one day without food?yes
Talked on the phone all night?no
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?yea
Slept all day?yep
Killed someone?lol. no, not yet at least
Made out with a stranger?no
Had sex with a stranger?no
Thought you're going crazy?yes
Kissed the same sex?hehe. yes!
Done anything sexual with the same sex?yep
Been betrayed?yes
Had a dream that came true?yep
Broken the law?probably
Met a famous person?no
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?no
On purpose?no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?yea
Stolen anything?yea
Been on radio/tv?yep
Been in a mosh-pit?yeah
Had a nervous breakdown?too many times
Bungee jumped?i wish
Had a dream that kept coming back?yep
Belive in life on other planets?no
Love at first sight?no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?yes
Easter bunny?no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?no
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?no
Do you wish on stars?no
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?no
Do you think God has a gender?i don't believe in "God"
Do you believe in organized religion?no
Where do you think we go when we die?onto another life, but we can't remember our past lives
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?yes, many
Who is your best friend?i don't really have one at the moment
Who's the one person that knows most about you?alexis and erin
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?"Never fall in love with someone who will not be there to catch you"
Your favourite inside joke?lol. if it's yellow...there's something wrong
Thing you're picked on most about?my weight, individuality, and sexuality
Who's your longest known friend?Kate O'Keefe
Funniest?Jess, traci
Closest?none at the moment
Weirdest?all of my friends are weird
Smartest?Brit or Lady Di
Ditziest?i don't make friends with stupid people
Friends you miss being close to the most?Alexis, Lady Di
Last person you talked to online?Angela
Who do you talk to most online?Brit
Who are you on the phone with most?Julia
Who do you trust most?Lady Di
Who listens to your problems?Ashley, Sam, Julia, Lady Di and Brit
Who do you fight most with?no one really
Who's the nicest?all of my friends
Who's the most outgoing?Jess, Brit, Alicia
Who's the best singer?I'm the only one who doesn't mind singing in public
Who's on your shit-list?too many people
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?yeah
Who's your second family?Jess' family, Erin, and Angela
Do you always feel understood?no
Who's the loudest friend?Alicia
Do you trust others easily?no
Who's house were you last at?um...
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:no ones
Do your friends know you?not that good
Friend that lives farthest away:Diana
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?sometimes
What do you find romantic?hmm...laying in bed, cuddling, kissing, and talking about just anything.
Turn-on?nice body, funny, smart, sweet, understanding
Turn-off?an ego, stupidity, not an easy talker, secretive
First kiss?with tara for 5 bucks from the guys
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?um...i don't know. awkward?
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or goingknowing
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy outi don't have the problem...
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractivyea
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?i guess
What is best about the opposite sex?(same sex) how girls know what you want, and know how to treat you
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?nothing
What's the last present someone gave you?a rainbow necklace
Are you in love?no
Do you consider your significant other hot?lol. none but julia is rather attractive
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?alexis
You wanted to kill?lol. no one really
That you laughed at?liss
That laughed at you?liss and mom
That turned you on?julia
You went shopping with?liss
That broke your heart?sam i guess
To disappoint you?kasey
To ask you out?sam
To make you cry?i don't remember
To brighten up your day?liss
That you thought about?julia
You saw a movie with?my parents
You talked to on the phone?julia
You talked to through IM/ICQ?angela
You saw?liss
You lost?no one
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?no
Will it be with your significant other?probably not
Or some random person?i don't date "random" people
What are you wearing right now?black cargos, green and blue striped tank
Body part you're touching right now:ohh, i touch myself!
What are you worried about right now?calling my dad
What book are you reading?none
What's on your mousepad?no mousepad
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:undescribable, bored, thoughtful, out of it, and creative
Are you bored?yep
Are you tired?no
Are you talking to anyone online?not anymore
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?no
Are you lonely or content?kinda lonely
Are you listening to music?yep...Kelly Clarkson!

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

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ohh i'm a robber! [29 Jun 2005|02:43pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | none ]

Full Name: Monique Daniella Sions
Nicknames: D, Astrid, Skittles
Marital Status: Single...oh how i love to be single *bliss*
Grade: Sophmore
Location: Currently in Catonsville, M.D.
Where did you grow up: Baltimore/Reisterstown Maryland
Birthday: July 31, 1990
Good habit: I don't know...ask one of my friends or something.
Bad habits: Biting my nails when I'm nervous, Biting in general, being all around annoying
School: GAR
Hair color: Blonde with like a redish tint
Eyes: Blue
Righty, lefty, ambidextrous: Right handed, left brained
Siblings: 1 older sister(Liss, 17) 1 younger brother(John III, 9)
Hobbies: singing, writing, poetry, music, my friends, being a flirt(hehe. tease more like), horse back riding, rollerblading.

Color: Green, Brown, Black and White
Band: Otep, Korn, Rilo Kiley, MIA, Franz Ferdinand...a variety
Actor: johnny depp
Actress: drew barymore, scarlett johannson, maggie gylenhaal(i spelled it wrong), winona ryder, angelina jolie
Season: Spring and Fall
Holiday: Halloween
Magazine: Vogue, Elle, Nylon, Bitch
Animals: Owl, Horse, Dragon(YES IT'S AN AMINAL!), snow tiger
Flower: Lillies, Lilac, and Roses
Thing about the opposite sex: *cough* same sex *cough* um...funny, sweet, can be serious...i like a bad ass.
Car: mustang....anything small and fast.
Cologne/perfume: perfume...burberry brit!
Fruit: strawberries, canalope, mango
Number: 19
Letter: um....isn't it unnatural to have a favorite letter?
Vacation Spot: anywhere really, depending on the mood, i can go for big cities or for country settings.

Your Past:
What do you think was the most important event in your past: when my mom moved out and my step mom moved in.
What do you miss the most about being a kid: nothing really. i'm more content now as a teenager.
What do you remember most about this year: my relationships...whether it be dating or friends
Were you "cool" five years ago: no, far from it.
How old were you when you stopped believing in santa: i was young...like 5-6 maybe 4 when my mom left, it made me less of a believer.
Are you still friends with the same people you were friends with 5 years ago: yeah; kasey, kate, tammy, olivia

Getting Nosier:
When/if you grow up, you want to be: musician, maybe do theatre, or a writer
Your best guy friend: john, chris, rob, above all nic.
Your best girl friend: sam and brittany
What you look for in a member of the opposite sex: once again same sex is good for me...um...physically-good looks is something i do look for i'm not gonna lie. no one too femme. all in all-funny, smart, able to carry on a conversation, loyal, someone i can trust to be there, fun and wild.

Even Nosier Now:
Do you have a pager: nope
Do you have your own cell phone: yes
What did you do last night: watched 8 mile on VH1 and then wrote a bit and went to bed.
What did you do this afternoon: I'm working in the office right now.
What do you want to be in 10 years: Successful in New York City, not married, a college graduate, with a little girl named Astrid Elizabeth.
Do you smoke: no
Do you drink: on occasion
Do you do drugs: no, never have and i will try not to ever.
What is your bed time: whenever there's nothing to do
What do you sleep in: a pair of boyshorts
Do you like thunderstorms: I love them
Have you ever been in love: No
Do you have any tattoos: not yet..
Do you have any piercings: just ears...once i turn 18 there will be plenty more
Do you think you're attractive: yeah...i hallucinate a bit at time and think i'm pretty.
What kind of shampoo do you use: panteen pro-v
Do you sleep with anything: blanket and sometimes i am graced with someone elses presence
Do you have a pool: no...used to though
Do you have a spa: once again...no but i used to
Are you online a lot: most of the time
Do you want to go to college: yep...bennington, peabody, or evergreen
How many kids do you want: 1, a little girl named Astrid Elizabeth
Who do you want to marry: I don't want to get married and if i did i wouldn't know who it would be with anyway
Do you want a special wedding: if i did get married...no, just something traditional but casual
Are you a night or morning person: i can be either
Are you rich or poor: middle to low class with my dad, and middle to upper when i'm with my mom
Are you ticklish: yeah
Do you like yourself: i'm not particularly fond of myself but i'm ok i guess
Do you regret a lot of things: yes
Have you ever fallen asleep somewhere odd: yeah
Have you ever cried over a guy/girl: who hasn't?
What are you thinking about right now: what might happen in the future
What really annoys you about people: close-mindedness, discrimnation, republicans...arrogance.
Have you ever broken a bone: no
Who knows the most about you: my ex best friend, alexis (sadly)
Have you ever almost died: yeah
Can a guy or girl just be friends: yes
What's great about your life: having friends who have supported me no matter what...i couldn't ask for anything more.
What's the last movie you saw: 8 mile
Where do you want to go on vacation: um...sweden, india, france, toyko.

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[27 Jun 2005|04:27pm]
What are you like, when in love? by UhhhWhatever
Your name/nickname...
When in love, you are...Content
Your love is...Obvious
Your kisses are...Hot
Your hugs are...Warm
People love you because...You're goofy
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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leaving tomorrow morning. [19 Jun 2005|08:38pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Crossfade-No Giving Up ]

so we're leaving tomorrow morning for maryland well more like the afternoon but yeah. i finished packing again, two backpacks full of clothes and stuff. blah. i dont' know how long i'm gonna be down there, month or so. *shrugs* there's a lack of things to say. kasey poole IMed me and told me to call her when i get down to M.D. and we'll pick a day to meet up and hang out, catch up on the 6 years that we've both missed. i really want to hang with tammy. of the 3, tammi seems to be the one i can relate to the most of my old friends. she drinks, she admits to not being a virgin, she's bi, she is more of a rebel. kasey always seemed like the goody goody. i dont' know. it's cool talking to them again. once again lack of things to say. gonna go. sorry for the short entry.

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just a day [16 Jun 2005|06:44pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | crossfade-cold(acoustic version) ]

today was...eh. i got in a fight with dad because once again i'm not allowed to go where i want to because he's too paranoid. but i went out with ashley, jess, and liss to ricci's pizza which was fun. then ashley came back to my house and we watched "lost in translation" but she had to leave early. sam said she'd come over today but i doubt she will since it's 6:45 and she hasn't called me to make sure it was ok. i dont' think she really wants to see me but that's ok i guess, if she doesn't want to see me than i guess that's fine. i'm kinda bummed out about it but that's ok, i'm used to it. liss and i got in a fight because i was pissed about not being able to go to twist now and i said how it's because no one wants to trust me now because SOME PEOPLE want to go and tell dad everything that i do. and she yelled at me but i told her to come with me for pizza. i didn't really want her to come but oh well she did and it was ok. her coke exploded in her purse and ruined her MP3 player that's liss for you.

julia's pissed/sad that i can't go to twist now, i want to go. jess and ashley were talking about how gays are so cute and how we should all go up to the twist and i felt so bad cuz i really really really want to go. dad wasn't even gonna let me go out for pizza today because he thought that 8 hours of work didn't earn me my ungrounding. oh well. this week seems to suck really bad but hopefully the weekend works out and maybe being with angela will get me in a better mood, hopefully. i'm gonna try really hard to talk dad into letting me go to twist though. you can't imagine how badly i want to go now. *sigh*

i did laundry for the weekend today and for when we leave for maryland. i have to start packing a bit...slowly and try to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. lately i stay up till 4am and sleep till noon-1pm. so...yeah. not much else to say.

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random update for the day [13 Jun 2005|01:52am]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | MIA-Galang ]

so today was alright...everyone woke me up at noon...i didn't get to sleep till 5. dad brought back swedish chocolate from ikea! i ate mine in like 5 minutes...=*( i want more now. *cries* i got a new little lamp too, it's yellow. me and liss went for a walk down to the square, watched little kids in the fountain and liss was saying how the fat kid kept plugging the main fountain. lol. liss-"fat people are harder to kidnap you know, lellie. that's why he's sitting there cuz no one will try to move him off there!" she's so mean but funny. hehe. i came home, sat on the computer. than the asshole from plymouth's g/f started talking to me...i told sam and she thought i liked her or something....WTF?! i told her i was creeped out. i don't want anything to do with that chick. then we had to watch a stupid movie with dad and liss and i were laughing the whole time. lol. we pissed off dad who just told us to get out of the room. hehe. *innocent look* lol. i wish sam would talk to me more but we rarely talk. julia asked me to call her and i did around midnight...she sounds so cute on the phone! lol. but then that's coming from a person who sounds like she's 5. i'm little, shut up! i'll kick your essay! but we talked for like an hour about stuff. no awkward pauses which was good. hehe. now her g/f and i are talking...strange. yep.

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survey's make the world go round [13 Jun 2005|01:24am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | MIA-10 Dollar ]

The Basics

What is your full name? Monique Daniella Suzanne Sions
When and where were you born? July 31, 1990 at John Hopkins Hospital
are you the oldest, youngest,middle, or only child? middle kid
if you have siblings, what are they're names and ages? Liss-17, John III-9
Do you have any pets? If so what are they and what are their names? 4 cats-oliver, lucas, teddy, and cici
What are your parents names? Angel, John II and step parents-Randy and Steff


Food? seafood, fruits
Soda? coke
Drink besides soda? my moms iced tea...yum!
type of music? rock, indie, metal...i don't really have a fav.
place to be? with my buddies
person to talk to? julia! she's a sweetheart and a good listener....sam, angela, and jess too.
type of money(eg. coins, bills, checks, credit cards) and why? bills, easy accessible and i can keep track of it.
color? green, brown, black, and white
shape? star
computer/video game? sims
early memory? when mom was still around
recent memory? anytime being with sam
dream youve had? when i used to have dreams about jesse =\
celebrity and why? scarlett johansson because she's absolutely gorgeous. or angelina jolie for obvious reasons
type of jeans? dark wash low rise jeans
Type of shoes? sneakers...or stilettos.


What are you wearing right now? blue shorts, and baby blue tank top
what time is it? 1:35am
where are you? in my room
what are you doing besides this? listening to MIA, talking to ashley and corina, thinking about what me and julia were talking about.
what did u do today? went for a walk with liss, sat on the computer, ate chocolate, called julia
have you told someone you loved them today? yeah, i say i love you to like all my friends constantly
have you hugged someone today? no, sadly. julia gave me an internet hug!
have you kissed someone today? pst! i haven't been kissed since monday may 30th


Do you have a crush? too many
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? nope, single and feeling so so about it.
do u love anyone? my friends...
are you in love? i'm too young for that complicated shit.
do you believe in love at first sight? no, hon that's called lust *stares at some chicks chest* yep...lust
what do you look for in someone before you can love them? they have to respect me, witty, intelligent, looks do help i'm not gonna lie, caring, sweet, loving, GOOD MUSIC TASTE!
do u find drugs and drinking attractive or disgusting? i don't mind drinking ever now and then or smoking a cig. but i don't do the drug thing...that shit's just fucked up.
do you think that guys/girls that do drugs and drink are cooler then people that dont? no
does your boyfriend/girlfriend do drugs or drink? sam did but...i'm not with her anymore.
if no, would you break up with them if they started? no, it's their life their fucking up not mine

Guys on Girls

do you perfer:

dresses or skirts? skirts or jeans
sneakers or high heels w/ jeans? heels
dark or light eyes? light
dark or light hair? dark
tan or pale? darker than me
athletic or not? athletic
short or tall? taller than me
skinny or normal? normal
long or short hair? short
long or short nails? long ;)
nails painted or not? doesn't matter

Girls on Guys

Jeans or shorts?
hair long or short?
perverted or prude?
shy or outgoing?
funny or nice?
dark or light eyes?
dark or light hair? dark
overly obsessed with sports or overly obsessed with girls?


Are you a virgin? no
Do you do drugs? no
Have you done drugs? no
If yes, would you do it again?
Do you drink? yes
Have you drank? yes
If yes, would you do it again? yes
Have you ever cheated on someone? no, i never would...that's just shallow
Have you ever used someone of the opposite sex? why would i?
Have you ever used a friend? no
Have you ever stood up a friend to be with a guy if youre a girl/ girl if youre a guy? no, friends will always be there girlfriends come and go in time
Have you ever lied to your parents about something important? yeah
Have you ever done something that your parents told you not to do? hell yeah


Who are/is you bestfriend(s)? i don't really have anyone i totally trust right now...sam's probably the clostest friend right now
when was the last time you seen them? i haven't seen sam since...last tuesday?
can you act yourself around your friends? sometimes
do your friends respect you? i don't know..ask them
do you respect your friends? yes
do you go to the same school as your friends? most of them
do you hang out with your friends outside of school? i try but right now i'm grounded. =(

School Life

What school do you go to? GAR
About how many people do you have in your school? no clue
what classes do you have? summer break
do you get good grades? i try...i maintain a GPA higher than yours i bet.
what sports do you play? no...i'm an artsist i'm too good for sports! lol *rolls eyes*

The Ending Questions

Did you get extremely bored filling out this survey? no, it's something for me to do
Did you learn anything new about your self or any of your friends from filling this out? not that i already knew
Did it entertain you? i guess

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long time no write really. [11 Jun 2005|06:13pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Melissa Auf Der Maur-Lightning is My Girl ]

ok, so i have a bit of a "myspace crush" as liss likes to call it. this situation is so fucked up. i really really like this girl, julia, and she lives just in Pittston. not too far and she's almost 17(what is it with those damn 17 year olds?! i'm always into them. lol) we've been talking for awhile and i like her so much, she's a total sweetheart and she's pretty(which is just a plus) she's so awesome to talk to and just to top it all off she likes me back. but there's one HUGE complication in all this...she's got a girlfriend. i feel like total scum of the earth when i flirt with her, or when she flirts with me which seems to happen far too much. today we were talking/flirting and she said that she wished she could kiss me, and i told her i wanted to kiss her too. erg. it's so frusterating. either i'm in love with someone who doesn't want me anymore or i'm in love with a girl who's already taken. she gave me her number today and told me to call her sometime too. she wants to hang out and meet up at twist next friday. she said she'd take me up and i could stay at her house for the night...i tried talking to sam about it but she didn't say much. i really want to go to twist and i really want to meet up with julia i just don't want to end up doing something and getting her in trouble with her girlfriend or get myself in trouble. blah this is just too fucked up...i don't know. i'mma gonna go now. toodles

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summer skies are hard on your eyes [09 Jun 2005|12:22am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | scissor sisters-laura ]

i rarely write in here anymore...i write in my LJ far more now a-days. tomorrow is the official last day of school. =( i have a shit load of CD to burn for jess and i'm selling her my nirvana box set for $25, i need money. the past two days have been interesting. i've gone into school around 9 and found jess. we're becoming a bit more close which is cool. today we hung out mainly in the art room watching kristen, ashley, joe, and TJ playing monopoly which lasted like 2 and a half hours! but jess, me and hitler walked around too. it was cool. jess b. came and hung out with us too. ashley was acting a bit stuck up but she said she's being moody cuz she's riding the crimson wave. *shrugs*

TJ and joe were making comments about gays...it pissed me off royally. i take it far more personal now and the whole time hitler, jess, jess b. seemed to looking at me. i wanted to yell, i wanted to piss them off, tell them that it didn't matter if a girl acted like a guy that personally i find it hot when a girl is more manly. but i didn't, i sat there listening to the bullshit acting like it had no affect on me. i have self control, i contain myself. that's the way i grew up, learned to shut my mouth. taught to act proper...use manners. and if i'm a fucking prissy white girl for that then fine but i'd rather hold my tongue and be respected than lose my temper at everything that pisses me off.

i don't know...i've been really out of it lately. sleeping a lot more, eating a lot less, desiring my alone time more and more. i better watch out before i end up emo. lol. writing suicide threats in my LJ and carving broken hearts into my wrist while listening to dashboard confessional. i don't know..maybe it's the realization that we're moving and i don't want to get too close to someone because i don't want to deal with the pain of losing yet another good friend.

i talked to casey tonight...we talked about ani difranco...my sisters crush on her...how she's utterly irresitable to basically anyone. lol. so i have a little thing for casey. oh well. she's really nice. it's stupid but when i first met her i already had a crush on her. oops. lol. it's cool to talk to her though, like she's someone i could see myself confiding in. *shrug* i barely know her though. i basically told her i thought she was cute today though.

liss had me watch this movie...it confused the fucking hell out of me! i don't even want to explain it. lol. mulhummad drive i think it was called. fucked up movie, good but fucked up.

this entry is really random. tomorrow dad said i'm gonna get my hair cut. hopefully he follows through with the promise, liss is getting a trim too. blah. i want a change...i think that's why i want to do so much this summer. all the working out i want to do, the hair change, i'm already changing the way i dress. i don't know. maybe if i make myself look better, maybe i'll just start feeling better about myself. corny i know shut up. but i don't know. i'm sick of seeing myself as a fat, self concerned bitch. i want to be really pretty so i don't need to say i'm ugly to get people's compliments.

i'm gonna go for tonight.

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cookies and fragment sentences. [06 Jun 2005|02:37pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | What's the definition of music??? ]

boredom kills, i'm anxious to cut my hair, got a B on shafer's final exam, totally blanked out in algebra, went picture happy in homeroom and english, now i sit here wasting my life away on myspace trying to find something more interesting to do. maybe i'll go read or something *cough cough* nerd *cough cough* dad's not home which is a relief, i'm in an odd mood and writing in fragments. sam won't talk to me really, i fuck up too much, i went on a binge, i'm thirsty, this is so random. i want to talk to emily but she's not on. traci was worried about the storm and i told her she could come over and we'd hang out in my basement and stroke each other for comfort. made her laugh which is what i'm here for. to make people happy, to amuse them, do stupid shit get a smile !cha ching! you're good deed of the day is done, now you can go die and check into hotel heaven. my tank top shrank in the wash so now it's like a bellyshirt...blah! my room is cold because the fan is in the window but i'm too lazy to get off my ass and turn it off. i'll get a sweatshirt if it gets too cold. there are dead roses on my computer table. i'm tired, i want to take a nap but my bed is messy so i'll just stay awake. emily just signed on but she'll probably sign off in a minute or two knowing her. i randomly IM people and cause them to put up their away messages. i'll never get married, i'll never be loved but that's the way the cookie crumbles, i'll just go get me a cup of milk and be content with that.

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like my rap?? [04 Jun 2005|08:24pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | regina spektor-oedipus ]

i went pee it was yellow like a bee and i said "wee!!" oh i'm a rapper now. hella gangster!

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it's an interesting article, read it! [03 Jun 2005|08:34pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Ani DiFranco-Sunday Morning ]

June 3, 2005
For Fruit Flies, Gene Shift Tilts Sex Orientation
International Herald Tribune
When the genetically altered fruit fly was released into the observation chamber, it did what these breeders par excellence tend to do. It pursued a waiting virgin female. It gently tapped the girl with its leg, played her a song (using wings as instruments) and, only then, dared to lick her - all part of standard fruit fly seduction.

The observing scientist looked with disbelief at the show, for the suitor in this case was not a male, but a female that researchers had artificially endowed with a single male-type gene.

That one gene, the researchers are announcing today in the journal Cell, is apparently by itself enough to create patterns of sexual behavior - a kind of master sexual gene that normally exists in two distinct male and female variants.

In a series of experiments, the researchers found that females given the male variant of the gene acted exactly like males in courtship, madly pursuing other females. Males that were artificially given the female version of the gene became more passive and turned their sexual attention to other males.

"We have shown that a single gene in the fruit fly is sufficient to determine all aspects of the flies' sexual orientation and behavior," said the paper's lead author, Dr. Barry Dickson, senior scientist at the Institute of Molecular Biotechnology at the Austrian Academy of Sciences in Vienna. "It's very surprising.

"What it tells us is that instinctive behaviors can be specified by genetic programs, just like the morphologic development of an organ or a nose."

The results are certain to prove influential in debates about whether genes or environment determine who we are, how we act and, especially, our sexual orientation, although it is not clear now if there is a similar master sexual gene for humans.

Still, experts said they were both awed and shocked by the findings. "The results are so clean and compelling, the whole field of the genetic roots of behavior is moved forward tremendously by this work," said Dr. Michael Weiss, chairman of the department of biochemistry at Case Western Reserve University. "Hopefully this will take the discussion about sexual preferences out of the realm of morality and put it in the realm of science."

He added: "I never chose to be heterosexual; it just happened. But humans are complicated. With the flies we can see in a simple and elegant way how a gene can influence and determine behavior."

The finding supports scientific evidence accumulating over the past decade that sexual orientation may be innately programmed into the brains of men and women. Equally intriguing, the researchers say, is the possibility that a number of behaviors - hitting back when feeling threatened, fleeing when scared or laughing when amused - may also be programmed into human brains, a product of genetic heritage.

"This is a first - a superb demonstration that a single gene can serve as a switch for complex behaviors," said Dr. Gero Miesenboeck, a professor of cell biology at Yale.

Dr. Dickson, the lead author, said he ran into the laboratory when an assistant called him on a Sunday night with the results. "This really makes you think about how much of our behavior, perhaps especially sexual behaviors, has a strong genetic component," he said.

All the researchers cautioned that any of these wired behaviors set by master genes will probably be modified by experience. Though male fruit flies are programmed to pursue females, Dr. Dickson said, those that are frequently rejected over time become less aggressive in their mating behavior.

When a normal male fruit fly is introduced to a virgin female, they almost immediately begin foreplay and then copulate for 20 minutes. In fact, Dr. Dickson and his co-author, Dr. Ebru Demir of the Institute of Molecular Biotechnology, specifically chose to look for the genetic basis of fly sexual behavior precisely because it seemed so strong and instinctive and, therefore, predictable.

Scientists have known for several years that the master sexual gene, known as fru, was central to mating, coordinating a network of neurons that were involved in the male fly's courtship ritual. Last year, Dr. Bruce Baker of Stanford University discovered that the mating circuit controlled by the gene involved 60 nerve cells and that if any of these were damaged or destroyed by the scientists, the animal could not mate properly. Both male and female flies have the same genetic material as well as the neural circuitry required for the mating ritual, but different parts of the genes are turned on in the two sexes. But no one dreamed that simply activating the normally dormant male portion of the gene in a female fly could cause a genetic female to display the whole elaborate panoply of male fruit fly foreplay.

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absolutely out of it [31 May 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Evanescence-Missing ]

i don't know what to think of the days events. everything seems out of place and a novelty. i screamed at dad for getting into my business, screamed at him that yes i did get drunk and to get out of my fucking business, that sam broke up with me. then i was bumbared with the "why" question over again and again. that's what i get for losing my temper. i guess i've been waiting for this day, everything seemed to be getting too good for something not to go wrong. dad thinks it's god's will. yeah, saying that to a person who is a hard on atheist doesn't help much. i cried for the last 3 periods and then at silks practice once sam left, at home for about an hour. i don't know why i'm not used to this yet. it's happened before, why aren't i accustom to it? because it always comes to me as a shock i guess. i try to be true and to be trustworthy but i always end up screwing something up or doing something that takes a day or so to finally make me realize how much i regret it. *sigh* i feel like i'm gonna throw up, i haven't even eaten all day. knowing it i won't be eating for 3 weeks or so now. i'm grounded from seeing anyone, because i "lied" to dad. more like liss snitched on me, he wouldn't have found out any other way. she's the only one that he talks to that knew about it. great right?

i haven't cut...not yet at least. knowint it i'll end up waking up at 3am crying and do it, like always. last year is repeating itself all over again. i feel it, i sometimes feel jesse around. i sound like a nut saying that. but it's true, dad said if he found me cutting again that he's gonna put me in an institution. fun shit, huh? i was thinking of doing it and making it obvious just to get out of this place. there's a bit of a bruise on my neck from the dog chain but you can't really notice it unless you're like staring at it.

sam called. i didn't think she would but she said she wanted to make sure i was alright. i said i was but i'm not. if i said i wasn't ok she'd make me spill out my guts or something and i'd end up crying again. i wish we could work something out, talk a lot and work it out but i have a feeling she just wants to be friends. it's so hard for me, i fucked up so bad and i'm so sorry for that because now all i want is to be with her and kiss her, tell her i love her. you never miss something so much until it's gone. i'm such a fool. i can't stop replaying that night and all my mistakes back in my mind. everything she said that night. she doesn't remember it but i remember everything. it didn't mean anything though. i told her i was sorry for pushing her into sex. i can't believe how much i fucked up, but it happened unless i can go back in time and change it there's nothing i can do. i just wish i hadn't started drinking in the first place, or gone for that matter. i'm gonna go for the night.

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one hell of a night [30 May 2005|02:29pm]
[ music | MIA-Bingo ]

ok, so last night was very....interesting. lol. to say the least. dawn, ness, and sam picked me up at about 10:20 and ness and dawn dropped us off at sam's uncle's house. we waited for cathy, michelle, and allison(?) to come home and then they all went and got a drink(i couldn't drink yet cuz sam's uncle was right there and i was "too young") and they played circle of death, sam was gone. lol. they ordered pizza and we all went up stairs to cathy's room, she had weed but not too much. and she got it taken off her, nice right? i started stealing michelle's drinks, after my first smiroff allison gave me a shot of vodka. lol. it burned my throat real bad. throughout the night i drank 4 smiroffs, a shot of vodka, some of mike's hard lemonade(or something like that), and some other stuff i can't remember what it was called. i ended up throwing up...blah. i didn't feel that bad though. i stayed up in the attic with just cathy for awhile. she was just laying on the floor asking me stuff....

cathy-what's it like being with a girl?
me-it's nice.
cathy-i'm so horny
me-me too
cathy-(turning over to look over at me) if you weren't sam's girl i'd fuck you right now.
me-(laughing) mmm...well i am her girl.
cathy-(moaning) why do you have to be her girl?

she came over and laid next to me on the bed just asking why i had to be sam's girl. lol. i was half tempted to do something with her but i just made my way to sam and laid with her but i think she got annoyed with me cuz all i wanted right then was sex. she kept telling me to go to sleep and i just kept saying "i can't, i'm so fucking horny!" lol, i'm a nut when i'm drunk. but i got sex. i won't go into detail that's what i have private entries for. ok, i don't know what to write now.

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