leaving on a jet plane's journal

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Friday, September 19th, 2003
3:40 pm

I am not losing these journals, after all these were really my first. but, some odd changes are allowed. So I'll be around.

current mood: good
current music: ..*..the clash-rudy can't fail..*..
To Dream
Friday, September 5th, 2003
12:15 am - ..seasons may change..

And I fade away.
Hold me up into your holy grace.
All these echoes in my head
Repeat the silence that I’ve missed.
And she fades away. She fades away

Just do it.

current mood: apathetic
current music: ..THC..
Friday, August 22nd, 2003
4:50 am - ..choking on my pride but real on the inside..

Um, alot to discuss Monica babes, I will get to the rpg, but with 9.0 there are so many new thinsg to play with. DONT. ask just dont, you'll be safer that way. Dav, sory about the call...had to go..but still will talk to you again. I am have been burning CDs all night..GAH...getting some songs back that I lost, but no worries Dav...hoping to have the Cds also..-winks-..Joey ...just do like I told you and everything will be alright I promise...we are not meant to understand people..period. Anyway...blah blah biddy blah...my eyes hurt...last night was ..-clears throat- interesting..and now I am off for I have an interview tomorrow..and all that jazz....er crap..what not...Joey join the new journal like I told ya woman. Rock it.

current mood: tired
current music: ..eve 6..
3 Thought It was possible To Dream
Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
4:13 am

All of a sudden..I am beginning to feel sick. Tables turning.

current mood: apathetic
3 Thought It was possible To Dream
2:35 am - **..i have worked my way here beyond the goblin city..**

-coughs- And I'm spent. On to another...California is amazing...no...unbelievable, when of course you dont have your shit stolen. Lol, aint life grand, but besides that mess, I am now here living with Chris and Renea, some of you have spoken with Chris..-snicker- Good guy right? Yeah. I am also going back to Lost Soul Productions...I know I know fitting huh? Anyway I have an interview tomorrow. I can roll the with punches some shit went down out in L.A. but no worries, I'll start again, and trust will I ever. Heh. This has been an amazing learning experience for me, these past few weeks. As I was in the hotel I watched that movie ..ok its kinda lame but at the same time I liked it, Head over Heels..now granted this actress has been in some lame ass movies, but I found her to be very ...Hmm, not sure what the word is but...there ya go. Ok, so now I heard brendan fehr has some really ugly ass girlfriend....Jesus christ...all well, according to many I should have no problem then. -chuckle- Its all good. Money makin is coming soon, and life as I know it..well...its made a turn for the better than it was a few days ago. Renea, ok this girl is Chris sister she wants to go with me get a tattoo. I was with Chris when I got my last tattoo...LOOONNNGG...story. Anyway...All is well, and hope all is well with the rest of you. You in my thoughts, not saying what kinds of thoughts but your still there. Oh one more thing and not that I am biased but out of all the states honestly..New Mexico was the best, they were friendlier and cleaner and just plain...bad ass..I mean compared to all the other states, sorry Kimness. -winks- Rock and roll kiddies, and later days.

current mood: Content, Relieved, Curious
current music: Chris in the background.
6 Thought It was possible To Dream
Monday, July 21st, 2003
1:15 am - *..my goodbye, this is my sundown..*

...thank you..

of all the things
I've believed in
I just want to
Get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days
That pass me by
I've been searching
Deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
Are starting to get old
It feels like
I'm starting all over again
The last three two years
Were just pretend
And I said

"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to"

Closing my eyes and
You chase my thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything
And nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

thank you. no one really knows anyone, we are all but a bit of nothings floating about the world trying to figure out life, and where we belong, i know where i belong. sometimes you think and hope that you know someone and in the end your wrong. it happens, its life, but those who know me, truely know me know that i would never run anyones life, force you to do something you did not want. not the point, we'll all in some miniscule way will be rememberd, wether bad or good, a name will pop up no matter whos and some where down the line you'll be rememberd. i have faith in myself, i believe in myself, and hope one day some of you will also. so ending this with, a thank you, and good bye.

I see it around me, I see it in everything.
I could be so much more than this.
I said my goodbye's this is my sundown.
I'm gonna be so much more than this.
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.
No one cares.
I need you to show me the way from crazy.
I wanna be so much more than this.
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.
No one cares.
I could be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I could be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.

Good goodbye lovely time.
Good goodbye tin sunshine.
Good goodbye I'll be fine.
Good goodbye, good goodnight.

current mood: indescribable
current music: michelle branch-//-jimmy eat wold
Friday, July 4th, 2003
1:12 am - ..*..soft sweat, sugar on the asphalt..*..

Insult of the day/night "You are depriving some village of an idiot."

Ok, to clear things up for the confused..I am still going my date is final the 25th. I was worried about after the 4th as to where I would be staying, Heather's or here with the evil step monster. I am staying, she has showed some understanding, its amazing. Ok, not much to say, sorry about the Rp been kinda..Blah about them..dont know why. Do know this, there is a possibility of blowing up something. -raises brow- Know what I hate, people who complain about someone constantly, then playing it off by thinking others are dumb fucks..I dont trust certain people any more. Its a thing I suppose. And gee how about fuck you, you eloquent lying puss infected monkey fucker. DIDNT SEE THAT COMING? Lol..Hmm -gasp- shocker. -blinks- Wow..Oh, my where did that come from? -bats lashes- Taking a step back now and allowing fate, destiny..whatever the hell you want to call it, takes its course cause I cannot be like everyone else, and play the "girly" part.
Candi, if you ever do see this, please I love you beautiful, help me out here.
Ok, so this is me not fighting for it, or any longer trying. Gonna be all me. Just here. Rock and roll kiddies.

..*..when you're on, I swear you're on. you rip my heart right out...*..

current mood: drained
current music: ..*..jimmy eat world-your house..*..
Monday, June 30th, 2003
12:13 am - ..*..cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue with the man in the moon..*..

...i lost...

Insult of the day/night. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

..((Note, that can be changed to woman as well...see Julia I do think of you.))

We all have our issues, I just got a array of them this afternoon, and evening. One thing I know is I am always determined. I hate little girls who bat their lashes and say..-highest girly voice ever- "Oh my god, oh my god...heehee...I just ...-hand to chest sweetly, covering cheeks- Now the eloquence of my words...Oh my go--

-Kats pulls out a gun and shoots them in the face-

Damn that rage. Ok, apparently I scare people, well..whatever.

Love and what not.

current mood: crushed
current music: ..*..the one in my head..*..
Monday, June 23rd, 2003
12:48 am - ..*..there should be more graveyards..*..

Huge F-ing Edit


Jay I am sorry about your journal. Much love to all.
4 Thought It was possible To Dream
Sunday, June 22nd, 2003
2:21 am - ..*...nothing but empty air..*..

I take my friendships seriously. For those who I have allowed in.

Intensly serious. Maybe they can't handle it, maybe I can't.

Loaded, loaded up this gun, theres a killer in me-Pain I can't sleep )

current mood: asdfgh
current music: ..*..empty air..*..
4 Thought It was possible To Dream
Thursday, June 19th, 2003
11:20 am - ..*..adapt to the unknown..*..

bitter moment
Magic Number15
JobMost Hated Person - Ever
TemperamentWhat You Lookin' At?
SexualWhatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To WinThe Booker Prize
Me - In A WordBelligerent
Brought to you by MemeJack

current music: ..*..metallica-wherever i may roam..*..
To Dream
Friday, June 13th, 2003
1:19 am - ..*..holy shit bizarre..*..

The name of Katherine creates a friendly, sociable, charming nature, but causes you to be too easily influenced by others. While you find it easy to meet and mix, and can appear agreeable and compromising in conversation, you can become dogmatic and forceful if pressed too far. Others learn that you cannot be told what to do and you seldom change your mind once it is made up. You prefer situations that allow a degree of independence, but are reluctant to take on a demanding work-load or responsibility. In a position dealing with the public, you could do well because of your friendly personality, interest in people, and desire to please. When asked, you are able to give others good advice that you would probably not follow yourself, but must guard against being too opinionated in controversial matters. The physical weaknesses due to this name centre in the fluids of the body and the senses of the head, causing headaches, eye, teeth, or severe sinus conditions; also, kidney or bladder weaknesses.

-blinks- Damn, just...damn.
6 Thought It was possible To Dream
Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
4:40 am

I miss Candi.
To Dream
Wednesday, May 28th, 2003
5:16 am - ..*..all fall down..*...

Through secrets untold and hardships unumbered )
To Dream
Sunday, May 25th, 2003
2:19 am - ..*..such a sad love..*..

Alright, blah blah blah ..here I am..yada yada yada...sorry I havent been around, but I needed to do some things...etc etc. Not alot to say..Um, oh yeah some people are ignoring me and kudos to them..many fucking kudos. All you can do is not worry right? -raises brow- Lmao. It just imazes me that one min you are told one thing and then the next..Heh, fuck em. ((No beautiful, this is not to you. -winks-))

Anyway...I am not really spoken word bitch lately. Lets see, Oh, set a date, leaving for Cali..(fuck you I am) the forth of July weekend. Staying after the 30th with Heather ...GAH..once again. But only because you can take your family for so long afterwards. Kelly you know what I mean. -winks- Anyway...I will update again with something better and Mon I will get to the Rpg journal ASAP. Some new icons, no the new ones are not mine...Heh. -shrugs- but they are from my faviorite movie, if anyone can find or make some "Dark Crystal" ones good times?. Lol. Ok, so I am even boring myself. Think I'll start a revolution..Later days.

..*..you have no power over me..*../././././.BIZNATCH../././././.

current mood: Ignored, sick, lied to
current music: ..*..linkin park-faint..*..
15 Thought It was possible To Dream
Tuesday, May 20th, 2003
10:19 pm - ..*..time like these..*..

Sometimes, I say to myself..."Kat, why do you even bother? They dont give two shits..why the fuck should you. You are to old for this, you try and be a friend..and then they come back saying either" ..-shakes head- you know what. Your mood changes to god damn quick. -stops- I realize I am talking about myself as in the third person, and it stops now. ANYWAY. Fuck...I mean FUCK..you know..whatever..keeping to myself now...sorry to step on anyones toes. Guess in the end...yeah and what not. later days.
7:12 pm - ..*..till the end..*..

I can believe how many people are going to be discussing the ending, hell...who hasn't already? The end is Nigh. I hear it being called "Black Tuesday" The "Saddened Day" "The End" and damn. I like many people have been a fan since the terrible, yet humerous movie first appeared upon the big screen. Nothing like what I was expecting once the show started, and good thing. Since that day, in 1997 I have not stopping watching the show, and I am sure, like many after the "nigh" will continue watching the DVD's. Whats amazes me, is no amtter how horrible some episodes have been, no matter what a fucking ass that "god like complex" Joss has gotten. This show has brought me to many of you, if it wasn't for this show...I would have never met so many personalities, and friends. I consider some of you very close, even though we seem so far apart. Candi, Clare, Kelly, Amanda, Kim, Lora, Rach, Jenna, Mary, Daveia...if I have missed you, it's only because I am not sure you liked Buffy The Vampire Slayer or not. Heh. So..We all have had our ups and downs, fights, drama, bullshit, and then theres the Rp, friendships, having each others back...among others. So, thank you for being who you are, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your Buffy world, and life. People can say all they want about this show...but I am just glad..others get it. I'm not alone with it.

Alright, the first part was written before the show. Now, I was happy with the show, till the end. My Favirote part of course was when the four of them..Giles, Buffy,Willow and Xander. They did the whole..together thing, and Giles line at the end. The World is still doomed. -sighs- I dont care what anyone says, that was classic, and always will be. Can at least thank Joss for that part. The ending to me sucked major ass. That was it? Heather and I thought, for 7 years and at least they could have done with a 2 hour ending. Was not satisfied with the ending at all. And Angel...what the fuck? Well, at least all you strange Spuffy fans....HAHAHA...-clears throat- She loves Angel. And it was proven. -cheesy grin- Hey..I have my own fun. -winks- And the way Anya was killed off...O.O.Damn, that was grotesque to say the least. I have much more to say about it, but I am sure you all do. Heh. To me Giles and the Scoobies, that how it will always be. The four. Ok, now I am just rambling.

Again I still say, thank you all. Your loved to the fullest. Believe it or not. Alright, gonna go now and stop making an ass of myself. Wow, thats the end.

current mood: Disapointed, Weird
current music: Buffy~The Harvest//Buffy~The End
To Dream
Sunday, May 18th, 2003
1:29 am - ..*..full moons make you do the wacky..*..

Thinking thats why so many people are so fucked up. Is that why you are out of your god damn skull?
So sick and tired of having my friendship questioned, I have never turned other wise, you dont want it, just fucking say so. See the thing about me is I can quickly pull away as quickly as I was drawn. Easy peasy japafuckinesy. I can tell you this right now, no more will I be trying, or spilling anything about myself. Lifes tough, life can suck at times. Many people made their decisions long before all of this. Excuse me for giving a damn, no worries, wont happen again. Moving the fuck on now.

Mon, thank you for the icons..I forgot I sent those pics to you. Thank you. If anyone out there knows how to get rid of a "safety mode" on a computer please let me know. I saw this Ford Rangler today, looked promising. Trade in and all. Always wanted either a jeep or truck. Go figure. Start work on Monday. Saw Chris, ex tonight. Goody goody gum drops. Uh, yeah. Jenna, hope your doing well. Hell, hope those who matter are doing well. Yes, I am pessimistic. I'll see what I can do about it. Damn this full moon. Rock and roll kiddies, and later days.

current mood: Whatever
current music: ..*..radio..*..
To Dream
Thursday, May 15th, 2003
12:45 am - ..*..i remember you..*..

I am sorry I havent replied to many posts. Yes, Mon we have to Rp again. Miss doing that. Not doing so hot, dont ask me why, don't want to talk about it. Hate when ...always lived by practice what you preach, but what hapens when ...you want to break? -shakes head- Anyway, It's not me blowing anyone off, I want to mail and respond. Just..not feeling so well. later days my little moons and stars, dont for get babies, Rock and roll. Candi, thank you for the profile. Much love. Later.

current mood: frustrated
current music: ..*..radio..*..
Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
4:23 am - ..*..i love chester..*..
Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, Can't sleep clowns will eat me, Can't sleep clowns will eat me )

current mood: Mood? YOU WANT MY MOOD? HAHAHA
current music: ..*..our lady peace..*.. ahahahaha Dr, says time to go.
To Dream

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