[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Saturday, September 13th, 2003|
Melancholy and tired!
ok nm m y friend just erased everything i typed abd i dont wanna type it again! screw it bye leigh
|Wednesday, August 13th, 2003|
Uhgg... I dont know!
sorry i havent written in a while ok a long time! i admit it! lol. ok so for some reason my bf thinks he needs to spend a lot of money to have a great 6 month anniversary. But i think if we went to a park and hung out maybe had a picnic, that would be fun, romantic and creative. I dont think he is creative but oh well. I wish he knew that i dont need presents and a big fancy dinner or whatever to make me happy. I just need him. and another thing i asked him if he needed me, it should be so simple for him to answer but no he says itzz too complicated to anwer. He says he loves me and wants me, but i dont think he needs me and it hurts a little cause i need him but i am going to stop feeling this way i think. Yes i will, i can control my feelings. so yes ok. I think he hurts me but itz not a big deal i mean itz an accident. well itz always an accident but it is. and sometimes i do provoke him. Im not one of those girls who always gets into abusive relationships im not if i were being abused i would brake it off, and tell someone. but im not! Jeess mayb im in denial. i dunno. i dont think so. Im not! everything is fine just peachy kine. just forget that whole thing ok. Im good! Oh and my dad is thretaning to go to the courts if i dont see him more but he doesnt understand. He pisses me off with this and my mom is woorying about it. i think she likes to worry it gives her something to do. possibly. ha i love those commercials. there so funny. hey thats a good song. by umm... bottom of a bottle. i think. yea. so im tired and this is my last week of freedom. Lately ive been getting in touch with some old friends and we still have a lot 2 talk about itz great! I would like to make more friends that my other friends dont know and friends that dont know my bf. Cause he knows everyone, i guess yey hez real popular and id like some friends who dont know him and that he doesnt know, cause were always with his friends, u no? ahh... i like trapt they're real good! i need to clear my head. and stop thinking so much, i think i think too much. I wish i could stand up to my father but i... i cant. so yey o well. ok then well im gonna end this now. untill next time! leigh.
|Friday, August 1st, 2003|
UHGGGGG!!! I am so pissed off. I read one of my friend's journal. She thinks im bringing her down. I thought she was supposed to be my friend. I thought i could run to her with my problems, but i guess not! So, fine thatz just fine. I won't ever tell her anything again, if she thinks im bringing her down. FINE!!! I am so disgusted with everyone, they all speak for me. I need to get away from all of my friends. I need to get away from the group and start over and make new friends, i've been wanting to for so long well itz about time. I dont know whatz going on with my bf either. I hate everyone. I hate this so much. I took a risk, i let her in my life my problems, well no more. I didnt want to let anyone in, but i took a chance, and exactly what i thought would happen has. I will keep myself all closed up again, why risk it. All i have is me, and this journal. I feel like im on the outside. I dont feel a part of the group anymore, and that's fine. FINE!!! I don't need anyone but me! Bye.
|Wednesday, July 30th, 2003|
Well i am sorry i haven't written in a while, but oh well. I can't wait to see The American Wedding. That looks real good. I haven't been on the internet in a long time, i've been real busy and didn't really care to get on. ok nothing to write about. Bye Leigh
|Friday, July 25th, 2003|
well im in a very good mood today! I luv 2 day! what would make it better is if we had little ceasers pizza for dinner ans i if i saw alex tonight! I really would like to see him muches! but o well! i guess. So i have been in a really weird mood this past week! really bizare mood! some days im really utterly sad and upset, ans today iam cheery and upbeat! yesterday was not good! i hate when people think they know me, and they really have no idea! So yeah! i have been dressing lately in a way i would never dress! itz odd! i want a change in my life a major one! nothing bad just i wanna experience and try new things, i mean im stiil young, u no? I miss everything and everyone, i feel as if ive been outta this world an eternity or something! i dont no though! well till 2morrow! muffins and gerbils to you all! bye! leigh!
|Thursday, July 24th, 2003|
ok MY BF IS REALLY FRUSTRATING ME BEONG WORDS. Ok he said we would talk about problems last night and wrote my an e-mail saying we eould talk about it later again. UHHGGGGG!!! he could call me! I think we both have too much pride in us to call one another, but o well. I guess. I dunno what's going on. I am so confused about everything. I swear i want to get away from all of this so badly. I can't wait till i go to college and get out of this horribel state. I just want to be away from it all. But i don't no if i can wait till college. But oh today i am in the weirdest mood ever! I am wearing a ring on each finger some even two rings! which i dont do because rings get annoying. Pants i never have worn, braclets up to my elbows, tons of weird makeup, my hair is all done up weird, high heels, and head phones just because. I am in a really weird mood today. I dunno why maybe i wanna change in my life. I really need a change. Today i just feel like not caring about anyone or anything! I am not in a bad mood, just a very odd one. I rarely have days where all i care is, about myself but i dont even care about myself today. i dont care about care about anything! I guess it comes from everything going on at the moment. I feel so alone, betrayed, and abandonned by just more than one person. I dont really want to care about anything today and i like that. I do. I hate putting everyone else b4 me and worrying all the time and being scared and alone and just... and just caring too much! Itz all done with today well at least today, we'll see what tomorrow turns out to be. Oh and i am sorry gemnigal for not calling i am but today i just dont care so please let me have this day, i wanna feel like this for as long as i can. I am sorry, dont take this wrong or anything but i quite frankly dont care about anything today! I am sorr, hope you have fun with megan though. I am sorry i still love you like a sister but i really dont want to care about anything today! Sorry! I need to feel this way today! d u understand??? Today everything comes last! I do what i wanna do taday! Anything and everything. the skies not even the limit! Bye till whenever! leigh
|Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003|
Happy Birthday David!
Well today is my brother's 12th birthday! I can't believe he asct and would seem to anyone much older but now he's only twelve, starting junior high this year. oh i worry about him, though. He seems happy he got 10 new movies, 9 x-box games, an x-box, and a computer game along with new clothes of course! But i don't know today i am sad. i am happy for him but there are things going on in my life that i can't make sense of. My bf is upset with me because i read his dj and got upset with what he wrote, though he gave the address to his dj. But i dunno. I know i don't wanna break up with him. I think sometimes though it might be easier for him if we aren't together, but as i said i don't want to lose him. I really truly care about him. I don't know if he knows this but i do. I will admit i have major trust issues and can be insecure and doubtful at times but thatz all my fatherz fault. Well that's a little unfair, but really most of it is his fault. I dunno maybe someday i will write about the thingy that happened to my family that broke us apart, but not today! so i'm not in a good mood, well i am but i am very sad, and i feel so alone. But i guess everyone has that point in their life, right? oh well! ok until next time! leigh
|Monday, July 21st, 2003|
well this is cool! i've never done this before! i will try to keep it updated! well today is my bf's birthday, the family and i went out to eat at Gambucci's! It was fun but i was a tad uncomfortable but oh well! I hardly said anything! Today i am happy, i guess! i've been thinking about my relationships with people! lately i haven't been having a hard time with my family but then again i suppose everyone does at a point in their life, right? This year i believe i made a very good friend! She completly understands me and doesn't judge me like, some other friends! I luv her like my sister! One of my best friends after 8 years moved away this summer! it makes me sad, but i think that my new friend is better than the other! she is a great person and i look up to her! I feel like i can tell her anything and everything! she really is a good friend! I think we get along well!
Well i have a problem too! I think i have insomnia! but thatz ok i think sleep is a waist of time! There r so many more, better things you can do but sleep! I haven't had a real good night's sleep since 5 and a half months ago! but oh well. i still try to sleep! at the moment i hate my dad! he disgusts me! Him and his new wife and daughter! Uhgggg! But what do i do? right? I pity my brother for having to grow up so young without a father around! i am the one who holds this family and house together for 3 years. And i am getting tired of it! oh well. i don't think any one could truly understand me! but hey u never know! So i think i will end this! Until next time! -leigh-