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[26 Mar 2003|11:45pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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coal chamber - dreamtime |
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i had so much i wanted to say in there.. then i went over to chris's house and everything went away. i wasn't in a great mood when i got there because i'd been thinking all day [i tend to do that when i'm alone at work] and just had a lot on my mind. i feel a lot better now. he and i talked for about an hour and a half. we just sat on his bed and talked about everything.. we even talked about my toes getting stuck in the heel of my socks when i put on a brand new pair. i don't know. just sitting there and talking to him and getting my mind off my problems was really, really great. then we had a quickie. i can't do that anymore. i need time to dry off before i put my bottoms back on and head home. x;
anyway. frank poured water on my head at work today. it sucked. i was sitting there working and he came up to me, held the glass over my head and said, "say i won't" so i said, "i won't" and he tilted the glass further and said, "no, say frank, you won't" so i said, "frank, you won't" and he poured water on my head. ass. i thought it was empty. then he came back around, tilted the glass over my head and said, "say i won't" so i said "i won't" and he starts shaking the glass over my head. it was empty.
my head hurts. i've got a migraine.
i hate my grandma sometimes. i was sitting there at work today thinking about my mom and my grandma and.. i don't know. i think my mom and i have a pretty good relationship. granted, i've fucked it up a few times, but we're close enough to where it's alright after we talk about it.. but.. sometimes i wonder if i'd be as close to her [or closer] if she had been the one that raised me. sometimes i just want to tell my grandma to stop being so motherly.. and i want to tell her i'm sorry she didn't get to raise her own kids, but that gave her no right to take me away from my mom like that, to tear apart a potential relationship that could have been great. as much as i dislike my mom for the things she does, i still love her and.. i wish she were actually my mom, not just a face i call "mom" when she's around.
i am a firm believer that men should not have to masturbate.
this is all.
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