| Mega Update |
[12 Sep 2005|09:32pm] |
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WOWZA! I haven't written in this thing in nearly one year. There has been a lot that has occurred between then and now...
For starters, this year has been a tough one mentally. Been through a lot of shit. Oh, yeah, and I got a tattoo!
Georgie and I are still together, going on three and a half years now....
~Peace
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| Lash Out |
[18 Nov 2004|12:04am] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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That new show Entitled "Drawn Together" |
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SERPENTS
SERPENTS WITH CORN
PELLETS WITH CORN
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
AT LAST! I FOUND THE POTION TO THE DEMOTION lol
But seriously....
I'm doing okay, other my irrational fear of death and such. I'm just relaxing, and trying to forget things for now. My sinuses are angry with the weather change, and they are taking it out on me. The pain! The pressure!
GRRR!
Have a Nice Night!
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| It's Been Some Time.... |
[27 Sep 2004|04:53pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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The Weather Channel |
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Wow, I'm amazed that this thing is still up. I went to another online journal for awhile (sorry lol), but now I'm back. So leave comments
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| I'm Back |
[09 Jan 2004|04:18pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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Nothing |
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Well, It feels like ages since I've written in here. Sorry. Anyway, things between my boyfriend and myself are much better. Hopefully, this year will be much better than last year. Hey, come to think of it, I've almost been a member of this thing for almost a year! That means it's mostly last year's events. So many sucky things happened, that I do not want to even dwell on it. In fact, Georgie and I are moving hopefully by next month. We have a place, and the landlady has it reserved for us. It's just that the people who are living there now are milking some government grant associated through school.
Christmas and New Year's were nice. I can honestly say that the year ended pretty well.
It's freezing right now. It's only going to be about 19 for a high tomorrow. That's too cold! It was in the 50s here last week.
My stomach is bothering me. I think I'm hungry because I haven't eaten all day. Alreet came home early, at about 12:15pm as apposed to 5:30 when she really gets home. Huh.
Anyway, I'm going to go, but not for as long as I did before!
~Peace
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| Bad Day # 2,770,785,890,007 |
[07 Nov 2003|07:01pm] |
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 depressed |
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TV |
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Yup, once again this day has sucked. Georgie is mad at me, because of certain things. I don't blame him, but he doesn't have to treat me this way, especially when I do his side work, kiss his ass and go to his job. It's bullshit. Plus I don't have my tacos and I'm really not happy about that. I feel like I'm the only one on this earth and I don't have a place here. Gee what will I be doing tonight? Let's see....get bitched out by my boyfriend, do my boyfriend's work and try to stay out of his way. I just want to be left alone because I feel guilty no matter what I do or say to anybody. And I don't want to tell my Grandmother because I don't want her getting involved in this mess, she didn't get me into it, I got myself into it. I can't even go to her house because I can't get a ride back. It's all my fault though.
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| SURVEY |
[06 Nov 2003|07:23pm] |
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hungry |
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music |
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Gay ass hockey game |
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1.WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR BLURTY USERNAME?
When I worked at a certain preschool, the younger children called me "Miss Becca".
2. NAME FIVE OF YOUR FAVORITE PIGOUT FOODS.
1. Cookies
2. Those fun size candy bars
3. Ice Cream
4. Doritos
5. ummmm........
3. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAKEOVER?
No
4. HAVE YOU EVER WITNESSED A DEATH?
No, nor would I ever want to.
5. WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE?
LoL Never been out of the country.
6. ONE THING YOU'RE GREATFUL FOR, TODAY.
That my boyfriend is watching hockey and not yelling at me
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY?
Huh, yeah.....sure
8. WHAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING YOU'VE DONE FOR/TO YOUR LOVE?
I'm afraid of vomit, but knowing that my current bf had a stomach bug I went and stayed with him anyway....
9. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.
There would just be all around happiness, and that I'd be marrying someone who loves me for who I am.
10. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE DOING WHEN YOU ARE 60?
Retired, not knowing a thing. I might be dead at that point, and if that's the case....
11. WHAT IS YOUR FIRST MEMORY?.
Taking apart one of my parents' cigarettes.
12. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE?
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
13. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN I WAS...
I don't know, my heart's been broken a lot
14. HOW MUCH MONEY DOES IT TAKE TO KEEP YOU FOR A YEAR?
I don't know
15. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES?
No
16.WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
The MOOD SWINGS (or maybe that's just my boyfriend)
16. WHAT PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY DO YOU WANT MOST RIGHT NOW?
Something to make this piece of shit computer go faster
17. NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU'D MOST WANT TO BE.
Someone on "The Family Guy"
18. FAVORITE GEMSTONE?
Bleh
19. GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME.
Log Hopper
20. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FLAW?
*Worrying too much*, overthinking
21. WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER?
That's something I'm not thinking about right now
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW?
Outkast -- "Hey Ya"
22. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES IN THESE CATEGORIES: HUMOR, ROMANCE, DRAMA, ACTION, HORROR?
Humor - How High
Romance - Ew
Drama - Ew
Action - Ew
Horror - Ew
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY SONG?
Ew
24. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE.
Something with a bay window and a white couch
25. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR:
Shirt
26. WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG?
Lighters, cigarettes other stuff
27. WHAT IS THE MOST INTERESTING THING YOU'VE EVER WORN, PIERCED, OR TATTOOED?
Pierced my ear cartilages
28. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW?
I'm a broke bitch
29. WHAT'S YOUR NEXT CHARACTER CONCEPT?
A hippie who smokes a lot
30. WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF IN YOUR LIFE?
Right now, nothing
31. HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM?
Well it sucked ass
32. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS.
My last birthday sucked because my boyfriend ruined it
33. WHAT DO YOU MOST ENJOY ABOUT LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLE?
People suck
34. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?
1. TREES
2. A House
3. Clothes
4. Jewelry
5. Shoes
35. WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL?
Taking a leak
36. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU?
Broccoli
37. NAME THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS.
1. Chris Griffin (Family Guy)
2. Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
3. Myself as a cartoon
38. WHAT ARE THE MAGAZINES YOU READ ON A REGULAR BASis.
I haven't read any recently
39. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?
My Vans that change from white to blur in the sun
40. WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF?
Elf so I can make toys for kids
41. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG.
"Those left standing will make millions writing books on the way it should have been." ~INCUBUS, "Warning"
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[06 Nov 2003|06:53pm] |
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crushed |
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Nothing |
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my boyfriend is treating me like shit right now. I do A LOT for him and he is so unappreciative sometimes, especially when he gets into one of his mental mood swings like he is right now. But that's okay, his favorite thing in the world, hockey, is coming on any minute. I just feel like I don't belong here sometimes. One minute, he's fine with me, the next he hates me. And I thought I had mood swings when I'm PMSing, but this is worse. When he acts like this, he is a hurtful human being. I thought he was the sane one in this family, but I guess I was wrong. At this point, I don't know if moving in with him is such a good idea. I don't want to live with someone who says such nasty things to me after working for him for free all day. What a crock of shit.....
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[03 Nov 2003|09:46pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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"Futurama" |
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Today went by really fast, I was at the shop most of the day so my uncle could sandblast. Now it's night time.
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| Good Afternoon |
[01 Nov 2003|02:22pm] |
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Nothing |
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Well, it's the first day of NOVEMBER and it's 79 degrees outside! Georgie went over to play football, but he's not even out there yet! And he left way before 2. It's been a rough week for the both of us, and now he's acting like everything is okay again, all because he got to say what he had to say, but I really didn't get to. I don't like how he expects me to do what he wants, yet he wants me to always do what he wants. I could be out right now at my Grandmother's but no. I have to stay here and rot in this hellhole while his mother and stepfather are home and yeah things are okay for now but you never know when she's going to turn on you. I feel in essence a little suffocated, I shouldn't have to be down here all day and on a Saturday nonetheless. oh well I got the sims to pass the time but I do have to talk to Mom-Mom because I had to get up for a minute and she was in the potty but when I got back here to the computer she had written that she was going to go smoke. I feel kinda bad for that now. Grrr I wish they would go out for a little while so I can be fully ALONE!!!!
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| Good Morning (Or is it?) |
[30 Oct 2003|09:39am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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The Loud Ass TV Upstairs |
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Well, let me see.....in the middle of still not fully talking to my boyfriend, I wake up ay 9:25am to hear the TV blaring upstairs. I went up to find out that the psycho was home again, and that we can't use our bathroom for the day....what is this, a trap? Maybe my luck will change and she'll go to work late. However, with the way my luck has been going lately, probably not. Oh well I'll have to see her anyway especially if I want to go over my Grandmother's so I can get clean. My whole problem I guess is that I can't take it here anymore. I'm tired of working for my boyfriend and he still treats me like shit. I'm tired of not being able to do laundry because she's home every fucking week, and God forbid if I say anything about it to Georgie. This was kind of why we're not talking, wait a minute. She was home on Tuesday! Not last week. This is Hell. My life has turned into hell and I have to do something about it because I hate living this way. I hate doing this work for my boyfriend to treat me like chopped liver, and I shouldn't have to be upset when his mother stays home. Maybe if she were'n t a nutcase who freaks out over every little thing then I wouldn't be so upset. I really wonder though, why me? Then, my cat comes on my fuckin desk and spills a flower, making water spill. Geez, all that and I haven't even been up for a half hour.
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| Survey |
[25 Oct 2003|02:39pm] |
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hungry |
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Nothing |
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Last car ride: Yesterday
Last kiss: Today <3
Last good cry: Don't remember
Last library book checked out: None
Last movie seen: "House of 1,000 Corpses"
Last book read: Prague
Last cuss word uttered: Shit
Last beverage drank: Fruit Punch
Last food consumed: Last night -- Starburst
Last crush: Georgie
Last phone call: Georgie, yesterday
Last TV show watched: "Hey Arnold" lol
Last time showered: Today
Last shoes worn: Sneakers (Vans)
Last CD played: Incubus
Last item bought: Cigarettes
Last downloaded: "Hey Ya" -- Outkast lol
Last annoyance: Don't go there.
Last disappointment: Don't go there.
Last soda drank: Sprite
Last thing written: Sprite
Last key used: The Right Arrow
Last words spoken: Don't recall.
Last sleep: 3:00am-noon
Last IM: Mom-Mom
Last ice cream eaten: Not last night but the night before.
Last time amused: Today
Last time wanting to die: ??
Last time hugged: This morning <3
Last time resentful: ??
Last chair sat in: My computer chair
Last lipstick used: Day before last -- glittery
Last underwear worn: Plaid
Last bra worn: Orange
Last time dancing: I don't dance
Last poster looked at: Nirvana
Last web page visited: Blurty
1 MINUTE AGO: I dropped logs.
1 HOUR AGO: I was talking to Georgie <3
1 DAY AGO: I was washing clothes
1 WEEK AGO: I was at Mom-Mom's
1 YEAR AGO: Living here with Georgie
I HURT: My legs
I LOVE: My Georgie <3
I HATE: Hate is a strong word
I FEAR: Vomit, bees, and death.
I HOPE: I find a job and that everything works out.
I HIDE: Confidential.
I DRIVE: That golf cart at the shop
I MISS: Some family members
I LEARNED: Not to trust the shoes you walk in.
I NEED: FOOD
I THINK: I'm hungry.
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| This is the Night |
[24 Oct 2003|10:27pm] |
um ok nothing is going on here....did a whole bunch of cleaning. Damm I'm freezing.
The Odd Couple Theme Song
shake it like a polaroid picture.
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| Happy F#@!'in Anniversary! |
[20 Oct 2003|11:10pm] |
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mood |
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high |
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music |
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"Futurama" DVDs |
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Today is our 19 Month Anniversary. So much for a happy one. Georgie is unhappy, and I know the main cause of that is me. I don't work hard enough at anything, I just don't think I'm his type. I also don't think he likes my hair much now since I chopped off 5 inches of it Friday. I want this to work out, but I can't be somebody someone else wants me to be, I just hope that someday Georgie'll come around and not treat me like this anymore. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets calling me after I gave him my number. I also wonder why he acts like this, happy one moment, making extremely cruel jokes, perverted, OMG I really hope that he isn't bipolar. Right now he is acting all weird, depressed yet in a humorous mood. I just hope to God that he isn't bipolar! Because I love him with all that I have, and he was not like this. He's nowhere near as affectionate as he used to be. He also doesn't take me very seriously. Sometimes at night he gets so lost in his work or hockey that he totally ignores me. And lately he has been planning all different kinds of shit with other people, like playing sports and crap. I know he shouldhave that freedom, I need it too. Yeah I hang out with my grandmother and aunt and uncle and cousin. That's really it though. Perhaps I'll make some new friends at my *wonderful* new future job. Yay. License. Yay. In any case I hope that he gets off of his high horse because it's totally killing my buzz.
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| Waiting For My Luck to Change |
[10 Oct 2003|12:10pm] |
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TV |
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Recently it seems that nothing in my life is going right. I'm stuck in a rut. My boyfriend doesn;t understand me or what I've been through in my life. I'm sorry, Georgie, but it's hard to smile when both of your parents have betrayed you in a matter of four years.
This cold has turned into wheezing, coughing, and a bad stomach ache where I can't eat. All I've eaten this week is soup, vanilla pudding, pizza, and a grilled cheese sandwich. I don't get why I'm shtting my brains out even though in five days I've barely eaten enough to keep a bird alive. This is really scaring me. In addition to this, after being very late, I got my period on Monday. Here it is on Friday and I am still bleeding heavily. I'm a wreck and my boyfriend is not supporting me, instead he is ragging on me about everything. I can't even remember when I last got a night of uniterrupted sleep.
This morning I walked two miles because of my frustrations and now I feel worse. I'm worried about my health. Georgie thinks this is a big joke. Ha ha. Very funny. My stomach feels like it's been shot.
When will life get better? I was doing fine, then just as I thought, it has turned on me once again.
~Peace
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| Good Afternoon |
[07 Oct 2003|04:52pm] |
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 sick |
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TV |
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Hey, sorry I haven't written. There has been a lot going on around here. First of all, Georgie and I are moving into our first house in January (yay!). I have a lot to do before we move.
I'm sick right now, I have this really bad cold with a fever of 100. I was up every hour last night because of it. All I want to do is lay down, but I also have addresses to do. I can lay down and write them, I suppose. Yeah I'm not feeling great at all. Hopefully it'll be gone soon.
Georgie is freaking out over work. I hope he'll be happier tonight.
~Peace
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| Polished Turd |
[27 Sep 2003|03:01pm] |
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Crickets |
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Geo's at a car show but will bw back between 5 and 7 tonight, and doesn't have to go tomorrow! YAY! I'm thinking about having a petition that bans car shows. Who's with me? Yeah!
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[25 Sep 2003|10:39am] |
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Nothing |
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The Real World and Road Rules Challenges, where former Real World/Road Rules Cast do crazy things for money is the stupidest thing ever aired on television. These so-called "producers" expect us to lay around on our asses and watch other people make money. It's also ridiculous when they force you to do a stunt that makes you puke (like that episode a couple of seasons ago where they had to eat cow balls and tongues), in more ways than one it's endorsing peer pressure. So I guess I could make a show where people are puking for money.
I haven't written in a while, there are so many things going on around here. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a dinner rehearsal on Thursday, a wedding on Friday (and stayed at the hotel), a barbeque Saturday, and a baby shower on Sunday. That following weekend, I stayed in bed! Now I have to look forward to Georgie leaving for those stupid car shows. He has at least three coming up! Oy vey.
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[14 Sep 2003|07:18pm] |
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I know I sound like w whiny bitch, but when your boyfriend hates you it's hard to not bitch and vent about it.
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| The Weekend From Hell |
[14 Sep 2003|05:51pm] |
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mood |
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rejected |
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music |
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The Sound of Having Fun Upstairs |
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Georgie keeps abandoning me to hang out with his family, as though he doesn't do it enough. Then he gets mad if I'm upset about it. I can't take it anymore. I have to do his work, put up with his shit, and when his sister is down here, I have to hear about how the basement isn't clean enough. I feel like nothing because of him, he makes me feel worthless. I'm tired of putting up with his family's shit as well, being talked about behind my back and then being nice to my face. I'm down here alone, I'm tired of being ignored while he has fun. I'm uncomfortable as hell when he leaves me, but at least I can just stay down here. He's mad at me now, oh well. You know how many times I've been mad at him lately? Sometimes it seems like he cares less and less esch day.
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[13 Sep 2003|12:05pm] |
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indifferent |
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Nothing |
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I'm back, the wedding was alright. I liked the gown I wore. lol Things are somewhat back to normal, still have a couple of things that will be going on but things are slowing down.
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