||Soar ---> pimpin myself here
So today was TRL day?inside, so a damn sight warmer than last Friday, outside in the New York cold singing for the Today Show, but ya know that meant more, seemed more real and shit.
If you've ever been on TRL and maybe even if you haven't, you'll get what I mean here, when I say it's fake. Carson smiles while you're standing there and then stabs you in the back the second you turn around. He's all kissing my ass right now and saying the most embarrassing shit. Yeah embarrassing. I know I'm not supposed to get embarrassed because yo the video and the cover of Rolling Stone, but it's not like that. That's not me, that's the product ya know. I'm sellin my album and the song and that's what it's about. I don't regret doing it and I'm not ashamed of it. So for anyone thinkin they're gonna tell me I'm a whore or whatever, save it. I don't give a fuck and you don't know me. If you did, you'd know it ain't like that.
It's like I admire people like Will and Jada, that kinda love. It's not something you just find. Not if you're me anyway. I've met lots of guys and for the most part they aren't worth my time and the ones that are..Well I never seem to have enough time and they don't want a part time girlfriend.
So I work and then I come back home here and look out the penthouse window at the park. It's like having a window into another life. A place I wish I belonged but hey, I don't so instead I give my soul to the music and I look at the world through my window.
I know that the most majestic tree on my street was a vibrant, full yellow three days ago, I noticed as I left for the Today Show that morning. For days it had been working toward changing, but it was like it had turned its entire being to that autumn color almost overnight.
Yesterday morning it had dropped more than half of its leaves, and I was a little sad at the quickness of its shedding.
This morning all the leaves, save for a very fluttering few on the lower branches over the street, were scattered all over the ground, on the pavement, in the ditch, on the driveway. I was very sad to think its show could be over already.
I couldn't help but think how much like life that can be. Sometimes the most beautiful things are the ones that are so brief, and I remembered that little tale of the singing bird that thrusts itself upon a thorn in order to give up its song.... its sweet, short song.
It also reminds me that the sweetness of life is found in many glancing things, swiftly passing, almost like air by my face, and that I should take care to behold them all, and not try to hold on to them.
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar