I'd rather be in Love's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
I'd rather be in Love

[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

good stuff [13 Mar 2004|08:53pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]
[ music | blink 182 -- i miss you ]

Name four bad habits you have:
_ flaring people.
_ saying ass.
_ procrastinating.
_ getting jealous.

Name four things that you wish you had:
_ More morey.
_ magical powers.
_ a boyfriend.
_ A castle.

Name four scents you love:
_ Ralph Lauren.
_ Cliniqe Happy.
_ Lovespell.
_ Guys.

name four things you'd never wear:
_ jock strap.
_ leather jacket.
_ leather panties.
_ a britney spears t shirt.

name four things you are thinking about now:
_ why cant i be beautiful.
_ why is it so hard to be happy.
_ Moving into new house.
_ my parents.. i.e. bankruptcy,divorce.

name 4 songs you've listened to in the past 24 hours:
_ the cure-- i will always love you.
_ Duncan Sheek--barely breathing.
_ the strokes--between love and hate.
_ Blink 182-- i miss you.

name 4 of your favorite bands:
_ Finch.
_ Sugarcult.
_ Green Day.
_ 311.

name 4 things that you have done today:
_ Slept.
_ Watched T.V.
_ gone on comp.
_ listened to music.

name the last four things you have bought:
_ movie ticket .
_ liquid foundation.
_ cappchino.
_ chicken soup book.

name 4 drinks you regularly drink:
_ iced tea.
_ Water.
_ cappichino.( dont knoe how to spell it as you can tell)
_ pineapple juice.

last song you sang?
_ barely breathing.

last thing you laughed at?
_ myself.

last time you said 'I love you' and meant it?
_ a couple of my hours ago to my grammie.

Last time you cried?
_ hah like 20 minutes ago.

What’s in your CD player?
_ Mixed cd's.

what color socks are you wearing?
_ White with an odd blue stripe.

what's under your bed?
_ shit i don't use.

what time did you wake up today?
_ like 9:45.
current hair?
_ pig tails.

current clothes?
_ slutty pj shorts,system of a down hoodie.

current annoyance?
_ myself.

current desktop picture?
_ ross & rachel.

current worry?
_ accomplishing my goals.

current hate?
_osama bid laden. nick.

favorite place to be?
_ watching a movie anywhere or over my grams.

least favorite place?
_ upward bound. school.

if you could play an instrument?

Favorite color?
_ blue. purple. black.

do you believe in an afterlife?
_ anything is possible.

how tall are you?
_ 5'6".

favorite season?
_ Spring and Summer.

one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to?
_ my deceased uncle carl.

Favorite day?
_ Saturdays.

where would you like to go?
_ NJ. Milan. Paris. Ireland. Cancun. NY City.

Type a line you remember from any book
_ that kiss was for me and him so i kept that kiss for myself for that night, i'd tell bailey tomrrow.

3 comments|post comment

alone [05 Mar 2004|08:32pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | matchbox twenty-the burn ]

hey hun. i guess you could say i'm letting sadness get to me. every gets sad sometimes right?.. i was watchin a show i previously taped.. and being the romantic i am.. it was a romantic episode. i usually love watching that stuff but it just go me thinking and well this is what i have come to... i'm gunna be alone a long time,its juts gunna be krista and thats it... i really started crying and just typing this now is making me cry. i'm never gunna have the precious romantic love that the beautiful people have. im gunna end up with people , if anyone, people who are more screwed up then me and end up making me alot more f'd up then i was to begin with. im fat which makes me ugly and it just hurts that im never gunna have love like that unless i lose weight which i guess i can try but its just so freaken hard. its not my eating habits cuz honestly, i dont eat that much and at home(my grams house) all i eat is carrots,peaches,pears,brocolli, and i dont drink soda and the only meat i eat is chicken so i mean its not like i come home and have 5 cupcakes. i eat properly i think i mean maybe not the best eating habits but i reward my stuff with a soft pretzel in school or something like that. its just the excerising part.. im just too god damn lazy.

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long time no c [25 Feb 2004|02:36pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | fe fe dobinson -- everything ]

hey hun! well i c i havent updated in here in over a month srry i heart u... ok so i dont knoe where i left off so i'll just start here .. ok so my parents r supposed to be getting divorced for real this time but thats not something i want every1 to knoe about, ithe details i mean i think im gunna talk to the social worker or something. my love life.. or lack there of well blows i dont really like bk nemore. it goes on and off but i do ahave a little bit of a crush on this freshmen but well thats not important as of right now.. trying to get a boyfirnd/crushing isn't one of my top priorites im more focused on school work and achieveing my goals, and spending time with the fam. maybe this summer i will have a summer love heh that'd b hot =) semi isn't really important to me either i mean if some one asks me well then great.. i'll go.. otherwise im not stressin about it.. if i dont go i dont go.. i'm gunna go to next yr.'s dances tho heh=) one good thing that has happened is me and jodi have grown alot closer =) also im getting better at distinguishing guys from friends to crushes which is good. i cant freaken wait til summer man its gunna rock! hey if things work out i might even go blonde heh i wonder how that' d look. i think i can achieve my goals.. i really do i just gotta be a little harder on myself. well thats all i really got to talk about right now . i hate my dad!..... the weather is getting warmer and sunny yay!....i heart yas all muah

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just ugh... [24 Jan 2004|12:08am]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | Michelle Branch--Tuesday Morning ]

hey world, this past like week has just been rough. my aunt evelyn is def. movin to florida =( ots gunna b weird not having her come in so much. not that ne of yas readin this has ne idea who im talken to... yeah the whole 2 people that read this. but eh i dont care its really for me so i can vent. well ne wyas next summer im gunna drive down to florida.. that'll b rad. i gotta problemo... theres people who i really dont want talken to me nemore... that talk to me but i dont wanna b like ...DONT TALK TO ME cuz thats too harsh.eh i dunno. lifes just taken me in and swallowed me up. like all i do is write papers and shit its so freaken annoying. and i knoe i've been bein a bitch lately but oh well too fucking bad. i hate my family. my mom didnt pay the credit card bill so now i cant get netflix.....the only thing i look forward to all week. my parents crush all my hopes and dreams.... that no exxageration or lie. they do. me and half of my so called friends dont even talk ne more. ever notice how when ppl who are talken about friends who arent acting like friends say "my so called friends" hah thats funny. i think i want to go to the semi with kb toys and i think im gunna ask him.im in a dryspell for romance .. hell i've been in like my whole life. love is one of the few things i ask for in life. what i ask for in life is my grammie,love,get skinny,be happy... not too much rite? ugh i just want to press fast forward on my life to hmm about 2014.... that'd b rad.. even tho supposedly these are the best days of our lives. which they prolly are im just tired of the same old shit everyday. hey my aunt evelyn is comin in tomrrow so i gotta get some sleep muahs i heart u

2 comments|post comment

[13 Jan 2004|03:12pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Sugarcult--Lost in You ]

heyas hunny bunny .. hmm well im just gunna start goin... today we hada spanish quiz and for once i honestly actually studied.. astonishing isnt it?.. well i first one done and i handed it in and myefski was like wow krista im like can u correct it now cuz i actually studied and hes like ok and then he said it looks like a 100 ... yay go me its my birthday..... wait no thats not till August heh. well then we went over some stuff and i actually understand what were doin in spanish for once its amazing.... i believe that if ur geninuinely sorry about something that whatever ur sorry about will become better.... well that not including relationships cuz no matter if nick was sorry or not theres absolutely no chance for me and him ever again but neways im getting off track and i really hate even mentioning the n word but yesterday i was talking to jods on the phone and i was sayen how i was really kicken myself in the ass for not learning spanish in the begginning... and then look today.. so hmmm ok mr callahan is really funny heh . in petermans today we hada write an introduction thingie and john mccarthy wrote one about me and it was funny i was lmao. okane came back today =(... me and jodi r gunna take off friday =) well i def. am i dunno about jodi. im pretty upset over the semi.. every1 keeps talken about it and i realllllllllllly wanna go but i really dont think im gunna b able to get a date. my aunt evelyn mite b moving to florida =( i dont want her to ... im really freaked out because okay think about it like 8th grade seems like it wasnt long ago. it feels like just like yesterday and thats the amount of time left in high school.. i dunno it just freaks me out. i dunno wht to do about kb toys im real confused as usual. i wanna go to the semi with him =(... i dunno my feelings r on and off with him.. well really with all the guys i like these days.. well thats all i got for now... im so stressed out i have to read like 270 pages and write a report by friday but well actually tuesday ugh errr i wish it was june 3rd. muahs i heart u

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a new beginning [01 Jan 2004|01:16am]
[ mood | touched ]
[ music | Ultimate Fakebook--Tell Me What You Want ]

dear world,
Did u ever wake up one day and was just like... fuck this...im tired of being miserable, im tired of being sad and depressed...when theres shit i could do to make my life better... granted it may not happen overnight, however, if u believe u can do something or be something and u dont leave room for doubt or negative thoughts.. whose to say u cant do it? the way i c it is life is short.. to be plain with u, one day each of us will die, like it or not , if ur not ready to die.. too fucking bad. just think about that for a while and maybe the wheels in ur head wil start turning and u'll think wow im gunna die someday and all of this will be gone, all of the loved ones that surround u.. they will be taken away so why shouldnt u spend as much time as u can handle with them...also that hmm maybe i should be spending all of this time being miserable when i can achieve happiness in due time. i mean come on people why were we put on this earth if ur just gunna be miserable and not im not saying to go kill urself or nething to the negative effect what im saying is instead of crying alot, or even forwning alot and instead of being just plain miserable all the time why dont u grab by the balls(heh) whatever is making u so miserable and just say FUCK YOU... for example me,thats rite im gunna talk about myself once again,i always talk about myself...i mean this is MY blurty..neways what im convinced is the source of most of my miserableness is my weight... im just gunna say FUCK YOU to being overweight and start doing something about it instead of being so miserable i mean come on dont waste life.. am i right? i think so but so neways on to a fairly new subject..... i've been thinking about this and im convinced that im like a free spirit.. ok just hear me out.. i have no best friend( i have good friends but no ONE best friend. like the one u tell everything to and its just u 2 not like 3,4,or 5 of ya , ya knoe wht i mean), i dont have a boyfriend, i've certainly not gotta husband or kids or nething and in the future i will have all of things most likely, so how much time does one really have to be a free spirit... for most people ..not much....and on to another subject...WARNING:WHINING IS IN THE NEAR FUTURE.... ok i REALLY REALLY dont wanna go back to school errrrr i wish it was summer i knoe i sound like the typical kid but i reallllllllly dont wanna go back =( and i dont feel like going to upward bounddd im gunna miss all the friends cuz i'll b there and im gunna miss most of my summer butttt i mean its a good thing upward bound and no matter what i've just gotta stick with it no matter how much i may not want to i gotta stick with it. it kinda pisses me offf that like no1 reads/ com,ments in my blurty i mean i knoe stin did in my last one but i mean it makes me feel like no1 cares sometimes when i get low..i mean i knoe i dont comment that much in other peoples but im gunna try to more...eh i just realized i didnt tell yas about xmas... ok so on christmas eve steph came over and we were suppose to get this wedding pic of my grandparents blown up....turns out my brother had no money and that he couldnt find the pick so as a last minute thing i was i downstairs and i thought hmm what about that pic of me and brother as youngins that'd b cute so i ran upstairs and got it and me and steph went to cvs in nanticoke and got it blown up on the picture maker thingie and got it put in a frame and the gift would be from me since i was paying for it and what not flash forward to when my grandma opened it....she started cryen( my grandma never crys).. it was the cutest thing ever and i dont think i will ever forget it and the next day my pops told me that she was cryen that morning looking at it and he even had a tear in his eye. so that was about all that was memorable about my christmas welll cept that my pops was really miserable and like no1 wanted to be around him but hey i stilll love him i mean hes my pops no matter how nasty he can be, i really love my grandma alot no matter how much she hurts me when she says things about my appearance....neways soo my new years resolutions wil be up when i can collect my thoughts in that area

2 comments|post comment

[29 Dec 2003|05:57pm]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | 311--amber ]

since 2003 is coming to a close i thought i'd sum up the year so aa here it is...

-My favorite dance of the year was definitely the semi i hada blast
-I love the fact that i made a buncle of new friends this year... steph,brian,john,ali,kelly,jess o,katie,iris,sara,lindsay,keri,rich
- My greatest accomplishment of the year is most definitely..getting over a certain nicholas
- i hada blast at the disturbed concert
-valentines day was fun with my girls alli and stin
-all the times we went to the movies this year were fun
- my favorite movie of the year is down with love
- a new thing i did was i got an account with netflix which i get to c alot of great movies =)
- i gotta new comp =)
- i painted almost every room in my house basically by myself
- im not so afraid to be myself
- i got accepted to upward bound yay!
- i went to some football games...school spirit yay hahahahaha lmao
- im not so ashamed of the music i like.. i like what i like and well too bad if others dont like it
- i developed a new interest.. old romance movies
- i also realized how much i like romance things...hence the username
-i hate to have regrets but i regret liking nick/ going out with him
-new shows i like include.. viva la bam,two and a half men,punkd
- shows i miss/will miss....buffy,punkd and friends... im gunna cry my eyese out when friends is over =(
-worst new movies i saw was hmm.. 2 fast 2 furious... paul walker is hottie thats about all that i liked of the movie... oh and that fact that there was rows of men when we went to go c it =).... daredevil by far one of the worst movies i've ever seen

Hope and dreams for 2004
- to get skinny
-to fall in love with a decent enuff guy
- to do my best in school
- be myself ..no matter who or what
- have good vacations
-get some self confidence
- not get in so much fights with my friends
- let my grandma knoe hoe much i love her
- keep in touch with my aunt evelyn

1 comment|post comment

[25 Dec 2003|02:40pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]
[ music | sheryl crow--the first cut is the deepest ]

The Generic Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?: Not recently.
Do you party a lot? How often?: No.
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?: smoke weed everyday to fit in with the "cool " people....that was me being sarcastic
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: people tell me i say it too much although i dont realize it
Do you skip classes? How often?: i dont i'd sit in a class and sleep inside of skipping.. u'd get in less trouble that way
Do you have casual sex? Protected?: yep im constantly screwing guys and no i dont use protection i figure im not gunna get ne std's and me get pregnant? nah it wont happen to me till im ready.......ha
Do you steal?: Yes i have stolen some items... Nothing that big.
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: umm i guess u could say so
Do you drool over celebrities?: Drool?not drool but some guys r really hott theres nothing i can do about that
Do you watch a lot of TV?: eh when im in the mood for it
Do you ever watch the News?: once in a blue moon
Do you even care about world issues?: some of em
Do you read books often?:eh not very often
Are you failing a lot of your classes?: Nope... surprisingly enough lol.
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:no
Do you smoke cigarettes?: No
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?: no, i dont get out much but i will
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: def. since i was 5 i had crushes like non stop up until this year i didnt like ne1 for like a month ... it was odd
Do you cuss a lot?: when im mad or overly caffeinated
Are you desperate to fit in?: no
Are you intelligent?: well i take college prep classes and im doing fairly well in them..so i'll say yes but i mean im not the smartest person in my class heh

The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?: No.
Black eyeliner?: Yes
Black eyeshadow?: i dont wear eyeshadow i look better without i think
Black trenchcoat?: No.
Black boots?: yes
Black fishnets?: Black and Red? bkack..yes
Black nail polish?: yes
Cigarettes?: No. What does that have to do with being 'goth'?
Heavy metal music?: Somewhat.
Marilyn Manson?: once in a while
Kittie?: no
Cradle of Filth?: Not bad but i dont really listen to em
Constant frown and perpetual angst?: somewhat
Do you like to be seen as: Myself.
Are you an intellectual?:we just went over that so look at the other question
An atheist?: no
Horrible home life?: somewhat
Hopelessly depressed?: im not depressed at all but there has been some really bad times where well i was xtremely depressed
Suffering with suicidal idealations?: No.
Self-mutilation?: No.

The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?: i have 1 blue plaid skirt =)
Big black boots?: yep
Mohawk?: No.. that only works on guys.
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]: Only on ears.
Loud, confident and opinionated?: very loud and opinionated yes but as jods would say when it comes to confidence im not the shyzz
Wild hair colors?: no
NOFX?: Yessum Rancid?: no
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: i have opinions on that stuff but well lets not go there

The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?: i dont knoe
Do you watch a lot of sports?: none
Play a lot of sports?: No.
Talk a lot about sports?: No.
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: Yeah...
Are you arrogant?: Depends on my mood.
Are you a male or female whore?: hmm my mom tells me i look like a common whore.. so
Are you homophobic?: No.
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: No.
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: hah no.
Parties = yes?: no.
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?: no

The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?: Yeah i guess so.
Make yourself throw up?: No
Make-up?: Mmm Hmm.
Low-cut tops?: yes
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: no
Giggle a lot?: i giggle when im nervous or flirting
What's the deal with boys?: hott,sweet,dickheads
Thongs?:i own a few
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?: i duno wht magazines i get my mom just randomly pays for certain ones i duno
Who's the weaker sex?: hmm men can lift heavier things and open hard to open things but chciks have to pop out babies and have their periods
Are you a feminist?:no
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: sometimes
How often do you shave your legs?: when needed
How about your armpits?: when needed
Are you emotional? extremely
Especially when on your period?:no the same i jsut get bitchy or depressed

This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.]
Originality or Acceptance?: Originality.
Independence or Companionship?: Independence. But you need Companionship with your friends.
Stability or Freedom?: Freedom.
Personal or Interpersonal?: Personal.
Introvert or Extrovert?: i don't know what they mean
Popularity or Isolation?: Isolation.
Unique or Loved?: hmm both how about those apples
Understood or Individual?: Individual.
You or Them?: Me.

fill this out for me sweetums..... i stole it off alli heh i heart u ;)
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your 'Blurty' and see what I say about you?

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[21 Dec 2003|02:21pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | marilyn monroe- santa baby ]

heyas hun, well yesterday i went to steph's christmas party it was pretty okay. we left around 630 and got home about 1230 there was a bunch of people that i didnt knoe ther and not a one single young guy =( thats the only part that sucked. and i've decided that im gunna drink diet soda when i drink soda from now on and by next christmas i will b skinny and happy =) one of my favorite theories is..almost anything is possible is u want it bad enuff... i say almost cuz there are exceptions such as if some1 u love dies.. u cant bring them back no matter how badly u want to... so aaa yeah theirs ur deep thought for the day heh. well i said i wasnt going to b getting christmas presents this year but now i guess i have to oh well. ah today i gotta type a paper for peterman and i reallyhate doing things a day b4 they r due but i cant help it. jodi hasta type out hers over my house too so i dunno i guess she'll b coming over today too. err my pops is so miserable these days. i went over my grams and they were finishing up baking cookies so i didnt want to get in their way so i sat down in the parlor and watched tv and i could hear my pops bitchen sayen ..this is our f'n house" blah blah blah,,well he was talking about me so i just went upstairs.. and seriously like no1 in my family wants to be around him nemore cuz hes so miserable these days. but oh well i guess its just old age and he is my grandpa and one day he wont b here one day we all wont b here so i guess its just something i will have to deal with. neways so i just made a christmas cd!. lol. my cd burner burns so fast i heart it, seriously it takes like 3 minutes for a cd to burn =) err ok i almost forgot about something... im not too sure if i like kb toys ne more, its hard to xplain but he just said some things that kinda rubbed me the wrong way so i dunno about that nemore but dont b scerrrred i'll find some1 new ;) welp im done chatting for today

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[19 Dec 2003|06:07pm]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | The Movielife--its Something ]

heyas hun well i downloaded the blurty thing onto my comp like alli has =) so that mean u'll b hearing from muah more often...prolly more often then u'd like heh. uh lets just go over a quick little review of muah's day eh okay so b4 homeroom i hada find miss alison k. to get her math homework to copy cuz i left my book in brooke's locker so i forced kristin to go with me so we did that then we walked to the corner of the hall hahahah im usually fouind on corners lol neways so then i went into homeroom and brian was sitting in my seat.... i was like hmm okay so then im like why u in my seat move but in a jokingly way and he said he was doing his spanish homework and chris was helping him(chris sits behind me) and so matt was sitting in his seat so i told him to please move but he wouldnt so the bell rang and mr. kreitzer made him leave cuz hes not in our homeroom so thenn i did my math and talked to brian and chris then stabbed ryan with my pen as we were leaving homeroom , i havent done it in a while so umm yeah i guess im a little psychotic so then first period i gave ali back her notebook and then these two girls leah redinski and a mazur girl came and talked to my class about their college experiences so i was pretty bored so then second period yedlock was there =( and we hada est which i wasnt prepared for so umm yeah i crammed to try to study but eh oh well whatever happens i mean i knoe i didnt flunk it but i prolly didnt do my best and me and ali had different definitions for two of the vocab words and shes usally right but oh well so lets move on to 3rd period.. well first on the way coming out of 2nd period me and brooke were walking and talking and i saw well the 2nd person i like and i dont really see him all that much so i was kind of starled but i didnt really show it and me and him kinda smiled at each other believe it or not i was really surprised he was even looking at me i mean come on me? he prolly thinks im crazy thats all...neways...had another test which i thought iwas prepared for .... when i got the test i knew all cept some of the muiltiple choice so i'd say i got about a 90 on that err I COULD DO BETTER THEN THAT! okay so then 4th period we hada sub which i thought we did but i wasnt sure omg it was great i heart the sub we had she let us do like whatever we want and she was listening to like all of out convos it was pretty funny me and jodi just like we out at my locker ah.... thats hanover! so then err lunch okay so things r not so good between jods and alli =( i heart them both alli didnt even sit at our table so after i was done eating i went over there and talked to her for a little while and then i came back and kb toys moved to another table so i undoubtedly staring at him i couldnt help it but the first time i looked over he was looking at me.. kinda caught me in the act heh,for a moment there i thought maybe he liked me too and that we could b together then reality came crashing back in as i looked around the cafeteria and saw pretty girls and realized how fat i am -=( i knoe i should really stop complaining about my weight and do something about it iand well maybe someday i will b real skinny and pretty and then yay my life will b a little better, ok so then i look over and my grandma was sitting right where brian usually sits like at that table i was like hmm ok so then lunch was over and i was walking to 6th period and i was studying this paper / walking and i almost walked into brian and then i passed him cuz he went to go talk to kenny or nelson or some1 so then i was like at the end of the hall and i hear a person yelling "K" i turn around with a smile cuz i knew who it was and it was brian so i said jokingly" u think thats funny?" and he said yeah acutally i do so then i said i'd kick u but ur my friend so i'll kick john instead and hes like oksy its funnier that way so i kicked john wehn i was walking into callahans took test in callahans it was fairly easily but i know i got a few things wrong i put inhibtion instead of prohibition err i was soooo mad so then i went to 7th period and walked with alli so we didnt do nething in that class as usal so brett took my phone and they were calling random places like coke acola ha it was funny he always takes my phone and plays with it. omg i took the phone back at one point and phil said to james u get her from the front and i'll get her from the rear and i was just like whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooa. so then went on the bus then walked home with jods and travis and we had our conversations mailman! hehehehe ok so then blah blah and now its now and heres the thoughts that are in my head rite now.....- emily saying oh yes baby oh baby oh baby and then turing aroung and realizing schnee was behing her
- me screaming by mr , malloys classrooom that " ur 15 ur allows to have sex"
- that i desperately want to sit by a certain young man at the movie on monday
- brett said hes gunna call some1's house and say we go the test back and its positive.. ur gunna have a girl
- im gunna b alone for christmas cuz im so fat no guys want me
- i should not wear skirts cuz im too fat for them... chances are i gunna wear them anyways
-i need to lose weight i reallllly wanna do it i just gotta really put myself into it
-upward bound was boring yesterday
- i cant wait till the semi this year hopefully i'll b going as a skinny girl with a special some1
- i want to go to the movies
........well thats all folks. as u can c im a little not rite in the head but oh well deal with yay! i'll talk to u tomrrow b there or b square! it'll b like my news resolution or one of my new year resolutions even tho its not new years yet,..to write in here more often because blurty i heart u i cant vent to u at anytime i want to.. ur there when i need u the most muahs ur my best friend! try not to miss me too much

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busy bee [17 Dec 2003|02:46pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | The Verve Pipe--The Freshmen ]

heyas hun. well hmm i hada get a new blurty cuz mine was being gay and im impatient so well here i have a new yet again..deal with it! k so lets back up to saturday. kristin,alli,ali,jods,brooke,empar,kelly and me went to the movies for kristin's bday,which reminds me i gotta give her her card but hopefully we will at least have a 2 hour delay but so neways we all went to c honey.the movie was uh okay i sorta had fun but i was just thinking about depressing stuff that nite so i didnt really have all that much fun, but oh well.so monday we got outta last period to put up signs for sadd and me and alli were in the hall were kbtoys class was and well it was just funny. yesterday i went home with my gram at 12 for no reason and today i was royally pissed off with sadd. criss has all her favorites .....and me and some others go to like all the meetings (well i didnt go to the one yesterdday b/c i went home early and didnt knoe there was one) and she doesnt even knoe our names and i dont knoe like today she got people outta classes to pass out flyer things and i dunno somethings just piss me off but eh oh well its prolly just me so whatever,honestly sometimes i think about quitting sadd just like i quit everything else i ever start but oh well. it was tho putten ribbons on cars in the rain i kinda am developing a minor crush on a certain guy in sadd so uh yeah im wearing the ribbon he gave me =) i dunno kb toys dont really sit by me in homeroom or talk to me all that much these past couple of days but oh well.jodi and alli are in fight cuz well lets just not get into that i heart both of them and im just gunna stay out of it as much as i can. everyday that we get closer to christmas it gets harder and harder being alone im just hoping and praying that my grandma will stay alive for a long time cuz i seriously dont knoe wht i'd do without here i can start bawlin just thinking about that stuff. i love her so much omg she raised me.and im just hoping and praying that by the semi or the summer or def. next christmas that i b skinny and taken by a romantic and sweet guy heh my little fantasy heh. well im gunna go now shit i forgot i have upward bound tomrrow fuck fuck fuck damn i dunno how i gunna get ride damn well bye byes muah i heart u ;)

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