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Miss Amy

[ website | lookit me, ahm Sandra Dee ]
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why I despised loving you

[26 Jan 2004|09:02pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | All Hail The Heartbreaker ; The Spill Canvas ]

If he asks me out I'll flip.
Oh, nevermind, he didn't. lmao. FALSE ALARM!

I hate stuff like that, 'cause I can never turn anyone down lightly, and with friends it's just like...gah.

Today = teh boring.

If I find one more photo of him, it'll drive me to tears though. Because I want to strangle him. I want to grab him by the throat and ask him what the hell was he thinking?

I made my xanga sexy today: [[ click for n00dz ]]

Mmmmhm. That was today. I'm getting a new mattress, isn't that thrilling?

why I despised loving you

[26 Jan 2004|09:28am]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | Anthem Of Our Dying Day ; Story of the Year ]

Oh oh oh! Snow day SUCKER! I wasn't planning on getting up for school anyway. It's been a boring weekend, but I don't want it to end. I just want to be alone.

[/short entry]

why I despised loving you

[24 Jan 2004|08:42pm]
[ mood | numb ]
[ music | Breaking The Habit ; Linkin Park ]

Step One: Think of how he hurt you.

Step Two: Get angry.

Step Three: Forget him.

Step Four: Feel nothing.

Step Five: See him again and fall in love all over again

Step Six: Obsess

Repeat.

why I despised loving you

[22 Jan 2004|05:28pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | This Is The Best Day Ever ; My Chemical Romance ]

MCR is in the process of recording a new album....YAY!

Midterms:

Environmental Concerns: I don't know. I coulda passed, I coulda not. Chances are, I didn't.
Math: I definitly passed, and if by chance I did fail it, then Staats is on crack.
English: didn't have a test for that one =D
Biology: I thought it was easy...so I know every person in that effin' room should get 100. If I pass this, then everyone does.

I have to take my science test tomorrow, joy joy.

Oh, god.

I don't know if this was a good day or a bad day. Well. Weighing out everything, I guess it was semi good. I just have to learn to ignore the bad parts and get over it already.

why I despised loving you

[20 Jan 2004|07:44pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | Du Hast ; Rammstein ]

I had a really nice entry here last night, then after I clicked update, Blurty decided to eat it [ again ;x ] so screw you too <3

Oh my god, I don't know what the hell is coming over me. I'm so freakin perky right now. Like..my mind is in this optimistic mood and wow, people are wondering what's wrong with me. Really. I'm walking around smiling and people are like "Hey, who died?"
Actually, I didn't get this way until like, 3:00 so haw.

I hate it when you're just getting to know someone and you have those really awkward silences in conversations and stuff. It bites hardcore. Actually, next time that happens, I think I'm gonna bat my eyelashes and be like "Tell me a story?" rahhah no, I think I'm gonna start doing that to everybody. I'm just gonna demand stories outta them

why I despised loving you

[17 Jan 2004|09:01pm]
[ mood | numb ]
[ music | The Last Song ; All American Rejects ]

You wanted the best, it wasn't me...

why I despised loving you

[16 Jan 2004|06:13pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | You Are Not Alone ; Michael Jackson ]

Why does Michael show Lisa Marie Presley engaged in lesbian porn in this video?
....what?
Oh. That's him, in the lipstick?
You mean...it's not lesbian porn? That's Michael?
Oh. Sorry Mike.

Rah hah. I'm watching MTV for the first time in ages, and this is what they feed me.

*turns on lifetime*

Ooh...mysteries ^.^ I like watching television shows that tell the stories of crazy old women who are kidnapped and butchered.

Yum. BYE!

why I despised loving you

[14 Jan 2004|06:48pm]
skool. )

Then on the way home we stopped at Arby's and wow, they suck. The guy at the register must be really sick 'cause he could barely talk, and another guy was talking too much and he sucks because he has an incoherent French accent. It's like "Hi, I came to America from France because I want to be in the land of oppurtunities and be a mozarellastick fryer at Arby's. Will you be having sauce with that?"

And I'm getting sick myself and my head is spinning and I can't breathe and I keep getting chills because it's so...chilly in here. If I stepped outside, I'd probably be warmer. And they say drink lots of fluids but hell, walking out to the kitchen seems like too much work right now.

And all these.....you know what?

Eff it.

why I despised loving you

[11 Jan 2004|03:03pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Recorded 911 calls <3333 ]

//another entry to take up space and push those other entries further back.

I love my ReB and VoDKa passionately, but I'm getting kinda sick of seeing the backs of their beautiful heads on this journal because it's the same one on all of my others. This calls for style upgrade time <3

Will do after this thing is done downloading...30 more minutes to go, WHEE!

why I despised loving you

[11 Jan 2004|01:17pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | Kiss And Make Up ; Funeral For A Friend ]

Effin hoorah to having the coldest room in the apartment. Effin hoorah to going to bed shivering and waking up shivering.

Jimmy Neutron is a cool kid, and I think they should un-cartoon-ize him and make him my slave so I can force him to make me cool things <3

Effin hoorah to my CD skipping. STOP SKIPPING! okcoolthanks.

Effin hoorah to realizing that the only thing there is to eat is chocolate...and as much as I love chocolate...no more, I beg you, no more. >.<

Effin hoorah to smack talkers who can't stand up to their own arguments....SUCKERS.

why I despised loving you

[10 Jan 2004|10:11am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Breaking The Habit ; Linkin Park ]

Blah blah blah blah blah.
I need to update this as much as I can because the entries from over the summer make me wanna choke on tears and anger.

What possessed me to get a Linkin Park album?

2 reasons why I despised loving you

[08 Jan 2004|05:53pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | Vampires Will Never Hurt You ; My Chemical Romance ]

My Chemical Romance is therapy.
I swear.
They make me happy. Only a few select bands make me happy when I hear them, and My Chemical Romance is at the top by far.

Their lyrics make wanting to shoot someone's skull out seem romantic. Like it's the perfect way to say "I love you."
I really have NO problem listening to this CD over and over and over again.

One of my ex's can burn in hell...and that's an elite invite. kthanx.
I won't go into details again, it's all posted in livejournal/deadjournal and stuff, and frankly, I don't feel like typing it over again.

Tomorow=movies with teh friendsies! Mona Lisa Smile. I thought it looked good...classy good. More intelligent than almost anything else out in theaters right now.

Gah, I'm tired. And aggravated. And I don't even know what I'm doing, I just hear the clacking of my keyboard. Crack kills, I know.

why I despised loving you

[07 Jan 2004|05:23pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | Kill The U.S. Government ; BRMC ]

skoolish days )

Sometimes I waste my time thinking on how people can stand me. If I were another person, I'd probably get really annoyed and wind up stabbing me. Then I think about how awful some of my friends are, and I smile. Because they suck.

why I despised loving you

[07 Jan 2004|04:20pm]
[ mood | working ]

--Starting over again.
My layout sucks. I'll give it a Columbine layout as soon as I'm done with this.
No longer friends-only because no one really reads it. Maybe again in the future
New userinfo

And stuff.
Jesus. Why is it so freakin cold in here?

why I despised loving you

[29 Aug 2003|06:17pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

Oh god yes yum <3
I think he fuckin adores me almost as much as i fuckin adore him.
Oh.
god.
yes.

why I despised loving you

[26 Aug 2003|08:02pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Welp, skool Camp Communism starts tomorrow. I'm nervous. Very. Hell, it seems like the last day was two weeks ago.

I have the feeling there's gonna be a lot of guys to deal with..which is always a good thing =) Ah, this is my 40th day of being single..it's scary, very scary.

Tuckie (Rachel's stepbrother) moved up here, and he's going to redo his senior year with us, yay. Tiff and Lacey dropped out in May, so no more them. Oh. Darn =X

I had a whole lot to say in here..but then..I don't know. I'm not that familiar with this journal, so I don't feel all too comfortable pouring my heart out...ya never who to trust and not trust these days. Never know where the backstabbers are...

Ah. And congratulate me and my wife stranglemedead on our marriage <3
No children yet, but soon, very soon ;D

why I despised loving you

[07 Jun 2003|10:46am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Yesterday was cool...

It was the last day of school... )

I went home with Rachel... )

We watched movies... )

Bleaching time! )

1 reason why I despised loving you

[15 May 2003|04:59pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Criminal~Fiona Apple ]

I haven't been feeling too hot lately.

I pretty much helped my best friend drop out of skool...yesterday being her last day. [Tiff]. She used to be my best friend in the entire world, but then this year something just happened...she broke away from our little "group" and we barely speak anymore. When she talks to me, she acts as though we're still close, but I know better. That's why we haven't seen each other outside of school in what seems like forever, and I haven't gotten a phone call from her since....September?

The girl who planned on being my "best friend forever and growing up to be an old lady with you, and we'll sit in our rocking chairs and scare our grandchildren with stories of our adventures together."

Yeah. Good one...

Now that she's dropped out, I doubt I'll see her again. Oh, I will...maybe a few more times..then that's it. Her, her mom and her brother are getting kicked outta their apartment and will most likely be going back to Harrisburg, which has been her dream ever since we both moved in this area 3 years ago. Once she's there, to hell with us. She has her job, her car, and her new group of friends.

I guess everyone goes through this...
Though I feel like I no longer have a best friend, even though she hasn't been much a friend to me lately. She's the only one that I really told everything to. Rach has been my backbone for quite a while now, but she just isn't Tiff. She doesn't go out of her way to act like an idiot in random places, or try to start fights with people who deserve to get beaten. She doesn't call, crying because there's a knot in her hair and if she can't get it out, what would Bill think of her?

Good god I need to shut up now...I really can't think of this anymore.

5 reasons why I despised loving you

[10 May 2003|09:51am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | More Than A Woman~Aaliyah ]

Yeah so yesterday was cool. I got home, heated up some leftover pizza from Thursday night, checked my email, tried on 50 different outfits and decided on one, changed into it...messed around with my hair. My hair sucks. But I got it looking decent within time. I wanted to be at the fair by 4:30, but I was too lazy to walk and I'm a dependent bitch and can't go anywhere alone. So I called Rach up, asked where she was, made her pick me up after she picked up Pinky, and at 5:45 we were off :x

Got to the fair and got our tickets. People were walking around wearing these fuzzy things on their head and I really wanted one...I mean, I WANTED one. It was one of those "I cannot live without one" things..but there were none left :/

Pinky and I went on an eating spree...first it was pizza, then ice cream, then a funnel cake, then a sno-cone. She's like a fuckin size 3 and somehow she eats and doesn't gain a thing...I hate her. And she eats fast too. I got my pizza before she did, as I'm taking my 4th bite into the thing, she's already throwing her plate away. Later on we got cheese fries and cupcakes and candy and yeah..

Then Jenn came. And we tried games and stuff and won stupid things. Then we went on these spinning things, I forget what it's called. But some bastard little kid in the one next to us threw something at us and screamed "There's your very own dildo!" Too bad he doesn't even know what a dildo is. "Is it flavored?" I asked him. "I've always wanted a flavored dildo." "no..." he said, looking confused. Little kids should be put on leashes.

Then we went on the scat. There were 3 kids behind us (11 years old? 10? 12 even?) And one of them was even more bastardly than the other kid. "My teacher raped me," he told me, looking up at me seriously.

"Did you like it? I bet you liked it."
"No. But my dad rapes my sister."
"Wow. Are you a nun?"
"Um...no. But I'm a priest."
"Do you rape yourself?"
"....No. Are you guys all friends?"
"No. We're a traveling orgy. And we're lesbians." *slid my hand down Jenn's arm*

And a long conversation went on after that, every line more quirkier and ridiculous. He was a bitch, but I loved that kid. I want him as a pet. Luckily, we were the last they could fit on the ride so Bastard #2 and his friends had to wait in line still. As I was heading off the ride, I looked at him with wide innocent eyes and said "Your cat has herpes." and walked away. I kept running into him the whole night, and things like that went on again. But then Pinky told him he couldn't touch her stomache, and he got mad. Boo Hoo...

And we did all this other stuff. And it was fun. And stuff. Yeah. The whole night I had something in the back of my head, but I didn't let it ruin my day...if he wants to act that way, then let him act that way. His loss.

Ooh, Ohh, and I got a heart painted on the left side of my face! It's hot pink with glitter in it, and a black arrow striking through it <333 I refused to wash it off when I went to bed, so now it's still there as a big smudge. Yay

2 reasons why I despised loving you

[28 Apr 2003|06:56pm]
[ mood | scared ]

We got our yearbooks today...which is kinda scary. Wasn't it just yesterday when me and Rachel talked excitedly about what to wear on the first day of school, and wound up wearing our khakis with black shirts? Getting lost in the humungous new cafeteria, trying to find friends to sit with? Shrieking when I found out that I had good friends in the same classes? Coming home with aching feet because I haven't walked so much in weeks?

When I think of it that way, I want to stay a junior forever. My friends and I can all stay juniors, and time will never go on, yet we'll continue to grow, and I won't lose any of them after graduation. I'd like to think that after graduation, that I'll keep in touch with every single one of them. But the truth? It'll never happen. Definitly Rachel and Pinky will be there for me somehow. But the others? Maybe we'll send an email a few times, maybe meet up at the mall once or twice over the summer. But my biggest fear is that after that, I'll never hear a word from them again. Then I'll be 35 and sitting on the Ricki Lake stage, trying to find every one of them, tracking them down, and tying them together with yarn and keeping them in my room.

These are the people that I can't live without...
I'm going to cherish every part about my senior year next year.

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