You Are Not Who You Think You Are

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14th October 2003

1:39am: Burning Whispers, Careless Lust, Sleepless Nights...
Leave blurty? You all like me too much...
For all of you who dont read my livejournal... here's an update, listed for you:

1) My Voltaire obsession came full circle... I saw him live! And I made out with him... but that's a diff story.

2) My dad's cancer spread to him lymph nodes and is stil on his liver, they're not sure how serious it is yet.

3) I'm sick of hearing bad poetry at readings and pseudogoths

4) Jon and I had our first argument, but we made up... a lot. >:-)

5) School's coming along quite nicely, I had a lab practical today and I think I may have failed. Sucks.

6) Going to see Bella Morte on the 22nd.

7) Halloween I'm going to RHPS, probably...

That's all, kids. Run along.
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: *Your Every Desire* by Enrapture

(2 Red Colored Stars | Stare Into The Dream)

29th September 2003

2:08pm: *I keep you jealously to myself...*
So uhm... I'm thinking this might be the end for this journal... unless someone can convince me otherwise...
Yesterday Jon and I went to the Nashville Zoo and to the Olive Garden, that was way fun. =)
Today I took a Animal Bio test and I think I may or may not have failed horribly. Ugh.
I skipped my lab b/c my back hurts really bad... and my prof told me to go lay down. Such nice people.
Might be changing my major soon... and transferring out of this hole. Dunno yet though. M'eh.
Life is inherently good though. Yep. Life... is good.
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: *The Snow Veil* by GlassJAw

(2 Red Colored Stars | Stare Into The Dream)

24th September 2003

9:29pm: Blah.
Moving to El-Jay soon...

www.livejournal.com/users/miseryhead44

I'll stay here a while... and if someone could tell me how to get rid of that yucky green outline... that'd be much appreciated.

Should I stay or should I go.

Give me a little feedback, kids.
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: *Good Grief* by Staple

(Stare Into The Dream)

2:20pm:
what band will you get gang-banged by? by hulahoopwoundss
what band will fuck you (a lot) hot hot heat
date it will happenOctober 6, 2020
you will meet them ata gas station
how many STDs you catch2
money you make from the video$1,009,665
name
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


Hot Hot Heat, eh? Heeeyyy Dante... ::nudge, nudge::
With my name I got Cave-In in a dark alley... but I liked this one better. =)

All my classes are done for the day, woohoo! And I'm off with Zoe later... ::grins::
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: *Black Sunday* by Cold

(Stare Into The Dream)

11:08am: *If you make the world a stage for me, then I hope that you can hear me scream...*
I have a way to get my other 15 service credits, and for this, the Chana is happy. =)
Things to look forward to:

1) Bible today at noon ::wink, wink::
2) Sunday, Jon's making me a huge Italian dinner and I get tiramisu =)
3) Talking to my mom and getting to tell her chapel was almost pentacostal
4) Friday's Norma Jean show
5) Letter from Crystal
6) Packages from mom and dad coming this week
7) VOLTAIRE!!!!! *It's so easy being evil...*

But yes, today's chapel was great, the black guy, I cant remember his name, let us raise our hands and stuff, it was like being at my church... almost. They still dont do instruments b/c they're CofC, but ya know... that was still cool. It actually made my day, because if I can't do the church thing properly... I get a little... bad... and we can't have that. :-\ So Blakely and I were thrilled, but Julie and Lindz were pissed. They suck.
Last night, fun conversation with the Toeses! It was nice chatting with her. I think I'll try to call her... eventually, but girl's gotta pick up her phone sometime! I talked to Jon last night, then I got online and we chatted, lol... we are dorks, but uhm... that's okay. =)
Okay, so tattooedangel updated her journal finally, and I love her! Her journal made my night. =) ::sigh::
My mom is sending me packages, I'm so happy! Which means... I'm getting some cash for VOLTAIRE!!! I am so in love with him... haha. Jon's not going with me cuz he doesnt want me all drooling over some other guy... but he does want to see me full goth, heheh.
So Lorenzo and Terri went to a specialist and are trying for a bebe again... and I think that's just swell. Just figured I'd mention that...
And... that's all that going on. What a pointless journal entry.
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: *Cure My Tragedy (A Letter To God)* by Cold

(Stare Into The Dream)

23rd September 2003

6:24pm: The wonderful world of ambiguity...
Okay, let's see... Saturdays suck at Lipscomb, and Janet hates men. Lance seriously hurt her feelings and that made me so mad, more angry at him than before, and she didnt even tell me till Saturday. It went like this:

Janet: You have a thing for Chana, dont you?
Lance: Yeah
Janet: What about me?
Lance: You're not my type
Janet: It's because I'm fat, isnt it?
~~~::awkward silence::~~~
Lance: I... like balance...
Janet: You are a fucking asshole. ::storms off::

Who wouldn't be pissed at the way that conversation went? We dont even say his name anymore... he's just Anus Exhibit A. Yep. We even avoided him when we saw him in the SC. Cuz he's an ass and we hate him.
So I was off with Jon on Sunday... =) I must say that I did upset him and he didnt tell me that I did... but I could tell cuz he gets a little unresponsive... but he didnt get too crazed about it, he was more upset that he broke his garbage disposal and his icemaker, lol. Well, it seems that we both have the same problem, everything we touch dies or breaks. It works. We watched some high quality Comedy Central and ordered Italian take-out, yay for baked ziti and cannolis... ::grins:: Apparently I have too much in common with all of his friends and he thinks I'm just gonna ditch him for Tom b/c Tom and I are both in love with Our Lady Peace and The Simpsons... and Tom's Canadian and I like Canada (haha) and supposedly Tom's good looking, as said by Jeff's wife, who's name starts with a K... so I have yet to see most of these people, but this should prove interesting. It rained rather heavily Sunday night... and I was soaked in my 1 minute journey from the car to my place, but it's all good. I stole one of Jon's sweaters too, and it smells pretty, lol. My whole room smells like that Armani cologne he wears now... but it's all good. I talked to him yesterday after classes and he wanted to see me, but alas, I had a paper to write for today (a 5 pager which took me all of 2 hours to write, so I could have, in essence, gone out with him), which I should have worked on beforehand... but I'm an ass and I didnt. It would have been cool too, but oh well...
So Russ and I decided that ambiguity was alright... someone asked him if he was gay yesterday and he was like *am I?* And God only knows how many people want to know if I'm bisexual... and if you want the answer let me ask you this: would you love me more or less if I was? Do I ask you if you're straight or gay...? Learn some tolerance, people, can I get an 'Amen'? Russ' show is tonight too, and I think it's gonna be cool, but I'm not sure if I'll be in the studio to give him back massages like I was twice on Monday, which was funny cuz I almost put him to sleep. ;-) So Sunshine (his show) is gonna be sweet, and Julie and I still need to name our show... not sure what that's gonna be... Janet thinks it should be Late Night with Julie and Chana, but it's not that late at night...
Which reminds me, our show was absolutely fabulous (did some shameless promotion of Ours after playing *Meet Me In The Tower* and it was great), at first it was like *what the...* but then we really got into it. I played the anberlin cover of *Love Song* and the goth chic came to the booth and we talked and it turns out that we knew each other from c-stone!!! So I played *Sour Times* for her and some Voltaire, we got away with having *damned* said on the radio... muahaha. Not too Lipscomb Legal, but ya know... and OH MY GOD!!! Newsflash, for all y'all who think I have an obsession with Voltaire...

VOLTAIRE IS COMING TO NASHVILLE OCTOBER 8TH!!!

And that show... just might kill me... he's playing with Cruxshadows, and Chana and Zoe are soooo gothing out for it! WOOOO!!!! Tapping the Vein is here on Friday, but I'm already seeing Norma Jean... so yeah. Nashville Gothic community is pretty much gonna be there, oh yes, goin to the Asylum...
Okay, calming down...
I talked to Blue yesterday, he felt the need to call me, so figured I'd chat with him for a bit, and that was kind of funny... he's one of he biggest freaks I know, lol, and oddly enough, every goth/punk/freak girl I know looks at my pics of all my friends and they all think he's hot for some reason... hmm.
So now all the J-fide guys are taken, and that's still cool, cuz I'm taken too so I cant be all mad that i dont have the Sambo, lol! And Im glad Tiff was actually happy for once... she needs that. ::ponders sending her Jon's friend Tom:: Anybody want a Canadian?
Well, I guess I should wrap this up, go grab something to eat, and find Russ.
Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: *Unsquare Dance* by Dave Brubeck

(Stare Into The Dream)

21st September 2003

3:30am: *Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me...*
(1) The singular most boring question: what is your name? Chana
(2) Are you happy with it? Of course
(3) Are you named after anyone? Nope
(4) Are you a prostitute? Hahaha, I dont think so
(5) Your screenname: AIM: BlueWildAngel79, MSN: SiberianKiss79@hotmail.com
(6) Would you name a child of yours after you? No
(7) Then what would you name your children? I dunno, probably something slightly exotic
(8)If you were born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name be? Alexander, after my dad
(9) If you could switch names with a friend, who would that be? I wouldnt
(10) Are there any mispronounciations/typos that people do with your name constantly? Most people pronounce it wrong, cuz it sounds like *Chain-a*, it's spelled wrong... usually... like Chaina, Chena, Cheyna, Chayna, Cheynnah (I thought that was odd), Channa... and so on.
(11) Would you drop your last name if you became famous? No, that's slightly stupid... my name needs something to go with it. It doesnt travel well alone.


- - - - -
BASICS
- - - - -


(12) Your gender: Female
(13) Straight/gay/bi? What difference does it make, would you love me any more or less if I were gay, straight, or bi? Ask yourself that.
(14) Single? No
(15) Want to be? Sometimes, lol
(16) Your birthdate: July 9
(17) Your age: 19
(18) Age you act: Older than the teenager who thinks they know everything... younger than the mid-lifer who wants to relive their youthful days...
(19) Age you wish you were: I'm fine going the rate I'm going...
(20) Your height: 5'8.5"
(21) The color of your eyes: Dark brown
(22) Happy with it? Yes
(23) The color of your hair: Black/brown
(24) Happy with it? Sure
(25) Left/right/ambidextrous? Left, but I do some things right handed
(26) Your living arrangement? I live in a suite with 7 other girls, I share a room with Caitlin
(27) Your family: Parents, some brothers and sisters... who cares anyway?
(28) Have any pets? Nope... wait, does Crystal count? ;-)
(29) What's your job? N/A
(30) Piercings? Ears
(31) Tattoos? Nadas
(32) Obsessions? Right now, cream soda and Industrial rock/metal/electronica
(33) Addictions? I have healthy addictions, thank you.
(35) Do you speak another language? Not fluently, and I refuse to pretend I do to make myself seem more interesting
(36) Have a favourite quote? I have many
(37) Do you have a webpage? No


- - - - -
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
- - - - -


(38) Do you live in the moment? Sometimes, but you have to think long term
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? Yes
(40) Do you have any secrets? Of course, we all do, but I wont tell mine, muahaha
(41) Do you hate yourself? Sometimes
(42) Do you like your handwriting? It gets the job done...
(43) Do you have any bad habits? Yes
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people? The most popular ones here in Nashville were either *You're so hot* or *You're so cool* so one of those will have to do
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? I dunno...
(46) What's your biggest fear? Living with the knowledge that I did not live my life to the fullest in which I could have... and dying knowing that I had never found true happiness and love.
(47) Can you sing? No
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? Not to my knowledge
(49) Are you a loner? Sometimes, usually I'm not though
(50) What are your no. 1 priorities in life? Find happiness and security (not the financial kind, thankyouverymuch)
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Actually, yes I would
(52) Are you a daredevil? Actually I am quite cautious
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? I'll list a few.. I hate being depressed and knowing there's nothing I can do about it, I hate my paranoid personality, I fear that my depression could get the best of me, I hate that I can never express how I feel in words, I hate how unambitious I am, I hate how I don't see the positive things in myself sometimes... I hate too much about myself... and love too little. And I hate that.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive? Assertive with a dash of passive behavior... a bit passive aggressive at times though...
(55) Have you got a journal? Yes, and you're reading it
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? I'm sure someone else could answer this better than I could
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wish I had new brain chemicals, because mine are defective.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity. And...? Which would I choose? Love. Obviously.
(59) How do you vent? Music... I generally have inwardly directed hostility.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong? Considering what I deal with... I am.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? Yes, finally there is.
(62) Do you think life has been good so far? It's had it's lower points... but it's not as bad as it could be. I havent successfully killed myself, so I must have something to live for.
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? You cant sit around hating life and complaining about how much it sucks, because then you might as well end it all if you hate it that much. Life is what you make it. Dont expect good things to happen, because sometimes you just have to go out and make them happen.
(64) What do you like the most about your body? I like it all pretty equally
(65) And least? See above
(66) Do you think you are good looking? Sometimes
(67) Are you confident? Sometimes
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like? I... couldnt say...
(70) Are you perceived wrongly? I'm quite misunderstood


- - - - -
DO YOU...
- - - - -


(71) Smoke? No
(72) Do drugs? No
(73) Read the newspaper? I read our school paper... because Scotland keeps giving them to me... and I cant say no to that accent... ;-)
(74) Pray? Sometimes
(75) Go to church? Not like I used to
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you? Yes
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals? No stuffed animals in my bed, thank you.
(78) Take walks in the rain? Not if I dont have to
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them? I try not to
(80) Drive? No
(81) Like to drive fast? N/A


- - - - -
WOULD OR HAVE YOU EVER...
- - - - -


(82) Liked your voice? I've come to terms with it, heheh
(83) Hurt yourself? I have... but I'm okay now, I promise.
(84) Been out of the country? Yes, and I'd love to go again
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick? Yes, no one understands my exotic foods... and they get grossed out... but its okay.
(88) Been in love? No
(89) Done drugs? I have, but not recently... probably never will again
(90) Gone skinny dipping? In the bathtub, all the time
(91) Had a medical emergency? Not that I can think of
(92) Had a surgery? No
(93) Ran away from home? No
(94) Played strip poker? No
(95) Gotten beaten up? No
(96) Beaten someone up? No, not seriously
(97) Been picked on? Yes
(98) Been on stage? Yes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath? Uhm... how about *been so drunk you couldnt remember the past week and a half because you were never sober, and when you did sober up you could barely see straight from the blinding pain of a migraine headache and that 'can barely stay standing up' feeling*? That's something I can relate to more...
(100) Slept outdoors? In a camper and a tent
(101) Thought about suicide? Yes, but not recently
(102) Pulled an all-nighter? Yes
(103) If yes, what is your record? I've gone a 2 weeks without sleep... and people thought it was funny... but they had no idea how unfunny it actually was... assholes.
(104) Gone one day without food? I've gone 4 days without food...
(105) Talked on the phone all night? No
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex first(moms and daddys don't count)? Uhm... yes?
(107) Slept all day? I have
(108) Killed someone? No
(109) Made out with a stranger? Uhm... ask me and I'll tell you
(110) Had sex with a stranger? No
(111) Thought you're going crazy? Well, ppd is all about thinking you might be going crazy...
(112) Kissed the same sex? Yes
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex? What do you think? Email me your questions, comments, or concerns...
(114) Been betrayed? Yes, and it hurts
(115) Had a dream that came true? I have those quite a bit and it's an odd deja vu kind of feeling
(116) Broken the law? Yes, I think so
(117) Met a famous person? Yes
(120) Have you ever killed an animal by accident? No
(121) On purpose? Insects arent animals, so no.
(145) Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? No
(146) Stolen anything? I dunno... maybe?
(147) Been on radio/tv? Yes
(148) Been in a mosh-pit? Yes
(149) Had a nervous breakdown? Nervous breakdowns dont exist, that's society's way of summing up a deep seated emotional problem. But yes, I get depressed, yes I get paranoid, and yes I have bee suicidal. If that's what you like to call a nervous breakdown, then label me and put me in your little box.
(150) Considered religious vocation? No
(152) Bungee jumped? Not yet
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back? I had a recurring dream that I was drowning in a lake... or ocean... or something... and something kept pulling me down and when I got to the water surface the lake turned into blood and it was on fire... so I get out somehow and I'm running away from it, and oddly enough I'm clean and dry... and I'm then running away from something that's chasing me, but then it kills me... and I'm lying on a sidewalk dying, I can't move or say anything, I can barely breathe, I'm just lying there bleeding and cold, and no one stops to help me. Tell me I'm not messed up in the head.


- - - - -
CLOTHES
- - - - -


(154) Shoe brand? I dunno... whatever serves my purpose
(155) Brand of clothing? I dont care about brands
(156) Cologne/perfume? I have some Italian scent that smells awesome, cant remember the name of it
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work? Comfortable clothes, but I normally look nice
(158) How about parties? I dunno, same as above pretty much, Vandy parties are too wild for prettying myself up
(159) Wear hats? Only in winter
(160) Judge other people by their clothing? I try not to, that's lame
(161) Wear make-up? Of course
(162) Favourite place to shop? I dont really like to shop
(163) Favourite article of clothing? My black sweater with the netted sleeved or my denim skirt
(164) Are you trendy? No
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school? No


- - - - -
BELIEFS
- - - - -


(166) Believe in life on other planets? It hasnt been proven, so no.
(167) Miracles? Not as much as I once did
(168) Astrology? No
(169) Magic? No
(170) God? Yes
(171) Satan? Yes (Note to Johanna: how can you believe in Satan and not God, that makes no sense... seeing as how he's one of God's creations and all, what the hell are you thinking?)
(172) Santa? No
(173) Ghosts? Possibly
(174) Luck? Not really
(175) Love at first sight? No, it's psychologically impossible
(176) Yin and Yang (that good can't exist without the bad)? It works, so yes.
(177) Witches? Not really, no.
(178) Easter bunny? No
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? Yes
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No
(181) Do you wish on stars? No


- - - - -
DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
- - - - -


(182) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? I have my ideas...
(183) Do you think God has a gender? Well, there's the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit... you do the math.
(184) Do you think that science counteracts religion? Science has to prove itself factually before I believe it, and evolutionary theory alone has too many loopholes
(185) Do you believe in organized religion? I dont believe in the corrupted mess that its become but at one time... it was an honest time to worship with others who share the same beliefs. I wont truly believe in it again until people get over themselves and truly worship.
(186) Where do you think we go when we die? Well, that all depends


- - - - -
AMIGOS
- - - - -


(187) Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? Yes
(188) Who is your best friend? Crystal's really up there, Toeses doesnt keep in touch with me, but we're still kinda tight, Linds us up there too... although I tell Crystal more than I tell anyone else...
(189) Who's the one person that knows most about you? Right now, probably Crystal, I feel like I can tell her anything
(190) What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? Stop living for other people all the time... sometimes you have to keep yourself from falling apart.
(191) Your favourite inside joke? Yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah....
(192) Thing you're picked on most about? How I feel about things
(193) Who's your longest known friend? Marquita
(194) Newest? Ryan
(195) Shyest? Julie
(196) Funniest? Janet, Jon, Julie
(197) Sweetest? Jon, Ryan, Crystal
(198) Closest? Crystal, maybe Toeses
(199) Weirdest? Janet
(200) Smartest? Not too sure about this one
(201) Ditziest? Sorry, Toeses, but under all that hair dye, you're a blond.
(202) Friends you miss being close to the most? I miss too many
(203) Last person you talked to online? Blue
(204) Who do you talk to most online? Crystal or Blue
(205) Who are you on the phone with most? Jon, my mom, Anani, in that order
(206) Who do you trust most? Crystal, J
(207) Who listens to your problems? Miss Crystal cares
(208) Who do you fight most with? No one right now, my parents are loving now that I dont live with them... and I get along with everyone else
(209) Who's the nicest? Blakely
(210) Who's the most outgoing? Janet, Em, Mariko
(211) Who's the best singer? Not sure
(212) Who's on your shit-list? Lance, that major asshole
(213) Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? ::smirks::
(214) Who's your second family? *Nobody loves me, it's true...*
(215) Do you always feel understood? No way
(216) Who's the loudest friend? Hmm... Janet and Kristen are tied for that one
(217) Do you trust others easily? Not usually... it's part of ppd...
(218) There's no question here...
(219) Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Jon
(220) Do your friends know you? Not at all as much as they think they do.. You might know my favorite things and you might think you know how I operate from reading this journal... but you're kidding yourself.
(221) Friend that lives farthest away: I dunno... who lives the farthest from Nashville?


- - - - -
LOVE, and all that
- - - - -


(222) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title? No
(225) Do you consider love a mistake? Sometimes, but not right now
(226) What do you find romantic? The little things... I'm amazed by how much Jon listens to me... and remembers things... and plays Italian Love Songs... and makes me dinner... and I could go on...
(227) Turn-on? Muahaha, wouldnt you like to know
(228) Turn-off? Oh, dont get me started
(229) First kiss? What about it? It was cool
(231) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Well, I have that situation with Lance, and it's a bit uncomfortable b/c he makes me sick and I dont like shooting people down... but I cant stand him, so I might have fun with this. Normally I have a problem with hurting people's feelings though.
(232) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"? I've tried it both ways, and I didnt mind either of them. They both have good and bad points.
(233) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? I dont normally care, but if I guy is too shy, its probably not gonna happen.
(235) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? No, I have to feel it from both angles
(236) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? I suppose they do, apparently the Nashville guys do
(237) What is best about the opposite sex? They feel the need to impress you and that never gets old =)
(238) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? Most guys are inconsiderate or insensitive, but in Jon's case... he overanalyzes things.
(245) Do you read porn? Nope
(246) Read the articles? Nope
(247) Just the pics? Nope
(248) What's the last present someone gave you? Jon bought me flowers, does that count?
(258) Do you consider your significant other hot? He's more... adorable. Yes. That's the word.


- - - - -
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
- - - - -


(279) That haunted you? I think my and Caitlin's room is haunted by the spirit of a dead handyman b/c we keep finding random screwdrivers even when our door is locked and no one can get in... lol
(280) You wanted to kill? No one
(281) That you laughed at? Julie when we were working out
(282) That laughed at you? See above
(283) That turned you on? Who turns me on... lol ::smirks::
(284) You went shopping with? Janet
(285) That broke your heart? No comment
(286) To disappoint you? My mom
(287) To ask you out? I dunno, I said yes to Jon, but I said no to that basketball guy, his friend, Keino, Lance, the guy with the tattoos, and the guy from outside NV..
(288) To make you cry? My own foolish emotions
(289) To brighten up your day? Jon
(290) That you thought about? See above
(291) You saw a movie with? Jon
(292) You talked to on the phone? Anani
(293) You talked to through IM/ICQ? Blue
(294) You saw? Julie
(295) You lost? I lost a cousin recently... but I lose people all the time...


- - - - -
RIGHT THIS MOMENT...
- - - - -


(337) Are you going out? No, I should go to bed though
(338) Will it be with your significant other? N/A
(339) Or some random person? N/A
(340)What are you wearing right now? Black t-shirt and pj pants
(341) Body-part you're touching right now: My feet are touching
(342) What are you worried about right now? How sore Im gonna be in the morning
(343) What book are you reading right now? Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and The Art of War by Sun-Tzu
(344) What's on your mousepad? I dont have one
(345) Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: Sore, hungry, drained, tense, clearheaded
(346) Are you bored? Not really
(347) Are you tired? quite
(348) Are you talking to anyone online? Not at this precise moment
(349) Are you talking to anyone on the phone? No
(350) Are you lonely or content? Content
(351) Are you listening to music? Yes


Five details about you...
[x] I'm not very observant
[x] I've recently become worried about my appearance
[x] I hate social labels that dont fit (just b/c you wear black a lot doesnt make you goth, etc)
[x] I'm misunderstood, honestly
[x] I'm also confident about some things... but insecure about others


Five details about your appearance right now...
[x] black clothing
[x] glasses
[x] black toenails
[x] hair up
[x] barefoot


Five things you did today
[x] Called my mom
[x] Went shopping
[x] Watched the Crow with Janet
[x] Played on the Lipscomb Elementary playground with some friends
[x] Worked out with Julie


Five memorable things you did in the last year...
[x] Concerts
[x] Graduated
[x] Went to college
[x] That is pretty much all
[x] I can think of


Five favorite movies...
[x] Interview With The Vampire
[x] The Crow
[x] The Godfather and any other mafia movies
[x] The Pianist
[x] Pretty much any Rat Pack movie made


Five things that make you happy...
[x] Music
[x] Solitude when desperately needed
[x] Accomplishing things
[x] Knowing people care about me
[x] Having people who genuinely care about me around =)


Five things that impress you...
[x] Intelligence
[x] Originality
[x] Culture
[x] The beauty of nature
[x] Philosophical insight


Five things you'll do when you complete this...
[x] Turn the lantern off
[x] Put my laptop away
[x] Climb into bed
[x] Take my glasses off
[x] Go to sleep


Five things you feel right now...
[x] Sore
[x] Sleepy
[x] Hungry
[x] Accomplished
[x] Content

That was one long freakin survey...
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: *Caught In The Rain* by Revis

(5 Red Colored Stars | Stare Into The Dream)

20th September 2003

1:29am: *If you're feeling lucky, come and take me home...*
Today was interesting...
First of all, JP is hot, lol. I know, I'm sad... but he painted his nails black and he let me put eyeliner on him... that was niiiiice. ;-)
What else, oh, dear Eric got the 2nd season of friends on DVD and ordered all the other ones... so next open dorm I'm headed back to High Rise! There was open dorm at Sewell and High Rise last night and Keino keeps telling people I'm his girlfriend... which is odd. But I dont care cuz we all know he's lying, haha. Played DDR with John the sleepy guy, watched Chicago with Eric, hung out with Justin while he played his guitar, met a ton of people... after open dorm...
Janet and I went for smoothies and ran into the Lance, which I wish we never did... cuz bad things seem to happen when Lance is around... and that creepy little hippie was all over Janet and tried to kiss me, which pissed me off... and I was talking to Jon about it, and I felt weird about it... and Jon said it was okay...
He made me dinner today... and bought me cream soda to keep for whenever I come over... and we watched a movie... and talked... and had fun... and didn't leave his house... ::smiles:: But we did listen to a badass version of ADIDAS remixed to an electonica beat. I think he thinks I'm in love with him though... and I think I may or may not have led him to believe that... and I tried to cover it up cuz I dont love him... but I dont think he believed it. What it is, is that he wants me to love him... because he told me he thought he could be falling for me... which I think is so strange... Im not used to people caring.
So now I have an odd association with the Sopranos theme song... *Woke up this mornin, got myself a gun...* I'll never hear that one the same again... ::shakes head::
It looks like Sunday I will see Jon again, and that'll be a lot of fun, even if he is paranoid about everything... lol. Well, I might see him... unless he dies from falling asleep at the wheel... cuz he was dead tired tonight heading back... and so was I... and I'm sleepy right now... ::yawn::
Tomorrow, though, I m hanging out with Janet... we're probably going downtown after the alleged movie night, and... God only knows what havoc we will unleash on the innocent people on Nashville... it's like... 2 Chana's... but not... haha. ha. ha.
Honestly and truly, poor Janet is very, very desperate and she wants... sex. So she was tempted to actually sleep with Lance. I told her that Lance would be a mistake, and that she should stick to the Saturday plan and ditch Lance altogether. Lance seriously wants something to happen with one of us, he told Janet that he was into me, but I told him that I was involved with someone else... and Lance is a complete ass because he didnt care. Boys are bad. I'm avoiding that one.
I'm a bit scattered right now... Things I am looking forward to:

1) Sunday
2) International Square Fair with the K-town Natives
3) WMW at LU this Fall break, I get a lot of points for that
4) Thanksgiving, I get to go home
5) Going to Florida in January
6) The next open dorm, which I believe is this Thursday for my hall

And that's that. Goodnight all.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: *Lucky You* by the Deftones

(Stare Into The Dream)

18th September 2003

2:51pm: *I lost my head...*
So yesterday The Chana and Caitlin Experience went to this vintage clothing store, then some avant garde (as they say) clothing store, then to Tower Records... then to some other record/comic book store. Fun times. All in all, I got a Rat Pack poster, which is now hanging on the wall by my bed. ::sigh:: I love it. =)
I also met some really cool people when I was checking my mail, and that's always fun. It's like I met the Nashville equivalent of Dan and we danced to *The Nearness of You* by Norah Jones in the Student Center... people thought we were crazy... but we love that song and danced! And we faked foreign accents... and we requested a load of songs on the school radio and got them to play The Doors. =) Janet and I are planning a gothic movie night on saturday and we're probably gonna order chinese takeout (or Mexican...) **MSG'd! Ahh, my stomach linings!** And I told Jadey about the Justifide show coming up and he started freaking out, so he wants to go really, really bad. Then he did that whole *Neo dodging bullets in the Matrix* thing... that dude is mad flexible.
I went to a discussion about capital punishment at Woodmont Hills last night with Janet, Emilee and Aaron, then Aaron did a beaver dance, it was fun times. I havent been to church since I went to Granny White, so it was nice to go again.
I took a test is psych class and i got a B... I'm not completely satisfied with that. Actually, I'm not happy with that at all. It wasn't a high B, it was more of a *shoulda been a B- but you barely made a B* B. That sucks.
On the agenda for the rest of the day... I have no clue... might be hanging out with the group, and I have to ask Eric about that girl he was trying to find, and... blah blah blah. Gotta check my mail... Gotta get more minutes on mah calling card...
Tomorrow I go to classes, then I go out with Jon, Saturday is le gothic movie night with Janet... Sunday... I dunno yet.
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: *T'Shuvah* by Audio Paradox

(Stare Into The Dream)

17th September 2003

2:06pm: *We cant hear the sounds around us...*
I definitely need to wake up earlier... 7:55 for an 8 am is murder.
I went out on a *date* with Jon last night, which means we actually went out somewhere! Congratulate me... this is the first time we did that. We went to the Olive Garden because he is a stereotypical Italian man and he loves his pasta... and that was pretty fun. Then we talked about stuff... and that was interesting. I never let him know what Im thinking though, and its not like I'm trying to be elusive... I just suck at communicating feelings. So uhm... he sees more in me than he probably should...
What else... on today's agenda we have the Chana and Caitlin Experience going to a hardware store and to a vintage poster store... then we decorate the freak palace, cuz apparently... we are the freaks of the suite. Then I think I might do some reading... I like the idea that things arent too difficult for me. I have to work on my proposal for Hebrew History though... which is due next Friday. Ahhh...
So uhm... I guess there was no point to this entry, I was a-ramblin. It is finished. >:-)
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: *Agony* by Argyle Park, *Dissolved* by Circle of Dust

(Stare Into The Dream)

16th September 2003

3:02pm: *I'd sell my soul, my self esteem a dollar at a time, for one chance, one kiss, one taste in you...*
So I had a lot to say yesterday, but the stupid site was doing something to my journal and didnt let me access or post... ::kicks something:: Oh well. So uhm... happy thing, my 5 page paper in Early Med is pushed back and due next Tuesday instead of Thursday. I took a test today in my music class and I think I did well. I got my summary back and I got an A, so I'm feeling good about that. What else...
I AM GOING TO MARRY CRYSTAL!!! Cuz she is the force behind my eyebrow ring... I love you, babe. ::hugs::
Jon told me he didnt think I should get my eyebrow ring because he *loves my eyes and doesnt want anything to take away from them*... but then he said he'd have to look at me some more (lol) and give me an educated decision. He's funny... and he thinks I should get a tongue ring instead, but even then he was like *but you should get a navel ring...* but those are cliched. So... no more consulting Jon about body piercing.
Oddly enough, Jon thought I was going to ditch him last night because I tried to explain to him what i was thinking but he took it the wrong way and thought I was like *uhm... this probably isnt gonna work...* and he didnt bother to tell me that till I asked him what was wrong... he is terribly insecure sometimes. ::sigh:: Methinks we're getting together tonight just for the sake of... everything.
I miss Linds and Toeses, I tried calling Toes on more than one ocasion, but no one picked up... so I guess I'll try back eventually... but I talked to Linds for a good long while and that was nice since I could never realy catch her online and I was worried about what was going on with her... because she was so upset about something, but after talking to her I think it's not as bad as she maybe thinks it is... and even though I talk to her online all the time, I soooo miss Crystal! Seriously... ::sniffle:: Even though I miss everyone, I'm still not sure why I thought the move for school would be harder than it was... it wasnt too bad, and I'm not regretting anything yet, so... it's all good. =)
Tomorrow Caitlin and I are going to a vintage poster store and looking for old school jam band posters, which should be fun. We did buy a lantern for my corner but we cant manage to get it to stay up... it fell on me last night and that was amusing, but still... and I need to buy an extension cord... hmm... I should make a list.
Anyway, nothing else terribly interesting happening...
Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: *Hurricane* by Code of Ethics

(Stare Into The Dream)

13th September 2003

2:59am: *Cars are overrated, I've got legs anyway..*
I scored
56¼%
on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!
Take the test here!
Current Mood: naughty
Current Music: *Cars Are Overrated* by Chris Staples

(Stare Into The Dream)

2:10am: *Your ghost showed up, I couldnt make it go away...*
So today Jon bought me this incredibly expensive bouquet of flowers and brought them to me at school. I mean seriously, these things are amazing... ::sigh:: I dunno, man... I just dunno... my suitemates were all crazed... and they are much girlier than I, so they put the flowers in vases for me... hahaha.
So we watched The Game at his house and we made rice (I know, I know... of all things to cook, I had to make rice...) and what not... and fun times were had by all.
I got that admissions thing fixed, so they will not put me on an admissions hold. =) Sweet.
I looked in my email and I was like 119 new messages, score! And most of them are Justifide... that's annoying. Those people are annoying. Anyway... so sleepy, Chana go bye bye.
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: *Hot Hot Summer Night* by Chris Staples

(Stare Into The Dream)

11th September 2003

3:56pm: Hmm... ::fluffs invisible fro::
Okay, so I was sooooo incredibly pissed off yesterday! I go to my mailbox and what do I find? Campus mail! And I was thinking *if its another archegos thing I'll get homocidal* and apparently the li'l fuckers in the admissions office claim to have an incomplete file on me... so I call the extension like a good li'l Chana and what happens... I get put on hold and have to listen to acapella praise and worship music for 5 minutes... so I hang up. And call back. And the same thing happens. These people here are assholes.
Then I decide to call Jon later because I said I would and lucky him, he had a lovely day... so I bitched about how the whole day was screwed up and he was all bummed out cuz I was having a bad day... and then he brought me, get this, that caramel Ben & Jerry's, Toeses knows the one I'm talking about... and he said he's gonna cook me dinner tomorrow. Yay. =) He's so freakin sweet... ::shakes head::
So today I wake up with that *cant keep food down* feeling and I was like *what the heck is this...* and after forcing breakfast, vitamins, and bottled water into myself, I had to go to UB and I actually still went to all my classes... and felt progressively better. =) I have tons of studying to do and Jon wants to stop by for a bit, but I dunno if I have time... but... we'll see I guess. So I have to get some Music notes off the O drive, go to the Elam open dorm thing with Julie, might see Jon but I'm not sure about that... and I have a lot of reading yet to do in Bio.
Okay, so I have definitely been having the strangest dreams lately...
But yeah... I have to call the admissions office back... these people... piss me off.
Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: *Protest Song '68* by Refused

(2 Red Colored Stars | Stare Into The Dream)

10th September 2003

10:49pm: Thought this was funny...
Your Threesome by soleta
username
age
middle name
locationIn a hearse
Partner the firstJohnny Depp
Partner the secondMiranda Otto
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I forgot to mention that I'm pissed off at Lipscomb admissions for claiming to not have a complete file for me... they can soooo kiss my arse. All my friends are joining Archegos... and probably pledging next year. Sucks. Oh well. ::goes for a walk::
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: *Burned and Blistered* by Chris Staples

(2 Red Colored Stars | Stare Into The Dream)

10:20pm: *You're getting in the way of what I'm feeling...*
are you sexy? by jeska
your name
do YOU think you are?
male/female?
on a scale from 1-10 you are a10
other people say you are...WHO CARES WHAT THEY SAY?
your sex appeal will last tilDecember 1, 2046
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


Rawr....
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: *He Loves Me* by Jill Scott

(Stare Into The Dream)

9:41pm: *Maybe we can save the nation...*
What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:You die in sweet bliss while having sex with your lover or partner. Seems they were so good your heart couldn't stand it and stopped. Talk about a heart breaker, but at least everyone sees you inyour casket with a smile of your face.
Death Date:January 6, 2012
Number attending your funeral?83
How much will you leave to friends and family?$3,812,520
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


I was just thinking... I miss mah Sambo!!!!! ::falls over::

You Celebrity Whore by poolofjello
Username (no caps)
You will mess around withHugh Jackman
You will have sexAll the time after you get married
He will like it when youDress up
You will get lucky onAugust 15, 2015
Created with quill18's MemeGen!
Current Mood: content
Current Music: *The Way* by Jill Scott

(Stare Into The Dream)

3:41pm: *Spiderweb and it's me in the middle...*
san francisco
San Francisco: Bohemian haven; gay capital; salad
bowl of America; cradle of the hippie culture;
forerunner of the IT revolution San Francisco
is all this and more...and it's the perfect
city for you! It's one of the most unique city
in America, and has lots of interesting
attractions. It always reminds me Full House.
It's a lot of people's favorite city...so
you'll be lucky if you really do get to live
there some day.


What City Should You Live In?
brought to you by Quizilla

::gasp:: I knew it... I live San Francisco... and I miss it!!!! ::sigh:: Who's comin with me?



which pleasure are you?


Hmm. That's naughty...

I think I'm more awake now... wooooooooooo..............



which pleasure are you?


*Did you want me to change, I changed for good... I want you to know, that you'll always get your way... I wanted to say... dont you shiver...I'll always be waiting for you...*
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: *Faint* by Linkin Park, *Shiver* by Coldplay

(Stare Into The Dream)

2:01pm: *All that you're living for is all that's about you...*
Yesterday my music class wrote a 12 bar blues song about this school... it was great. If I remembered it... I'd post it... but it may be coming soon.
So last night we definitely had a fire drill at 1 in the AM... and who actually decided to go to sleep before midnight for once? The Caitlin and Chana club! That wasnt cool... but we all got out in 4 minutes and so we get a pizza party for our good work in... getting out of the building really quickly... right.
And the more time I spend here the more it grows on me, ya know? I think that's the process... that and I know my seminar/early med class wouldnt transfer... which sucks... but oh well.
I went to the Psi Chi meeting ast night and I felt like I wasnt a nerdy enough psych major to be there... cuz seriously... nerd central. But I am one 3 hour class away from being able to join, and join I might! I'm not sure if I really want to or not... but I might. Our multicultural fair is coming up too, and I want my Native American table set up, and so does the Jamaican guy, lol.
Half of me is considering getting a reasonably large Jamaican flag to hang on the wall to cancel out the *Heritage, Not Hate* sticker Caitlin has with the confederate flag on it... it would go with my dreamcatcher... we need more Chana in the room, in my opinion... despite the fact that I take up more space than she does... ::eyes shift::
Last night Jon called me again and said he was thinking about *us in long term*... and I, in my perfect idiocy, said *oh, that's uhm... cool...* and he went on to say stuff like *I'd do anything for you, I mean it... blah blah blah...* and I didnt know what to say... maybe Lin-Tzu is right in all her wisdom... the sage that she is... I have a stalker, lol! Nah, not a stalker per se... but... he needs to chill... and I told him I thought he cared too much and he asked me if I thought he shouldnt because I deserve to be cared for like that... and I told him that it just seemed too soon... and it didnt make any sense... because I didnt think he knew me well enough... based on how our relationship is... and how you can know so much yet so little... I dunno... that's a mess worth talking about on a later date.
On a brighter note, I met this guy named Lance today and he has these killer dreads and he wants to put those beads in them and stuff, and he thinks I shoud dye my hair blue... hahaha... which reminds me... I gotta talk to Ash about giving Jules her chunky blue streaks... that's gonna be awesome.
I met a ton of guys yesterday after the radio thing too... it was interesting... and this one guy was a Justifide fan and he's going to the show at Rocketown and I thought that was sweet... and he played *Still Cries* for me. =)
I found another screwdriver in our room today, this is the 2nd in a series of screwdrivers found in my dorm room... the first one was blue, this one was red... and we call them the Invisible Screwdriver Award... maybe our room is haunted by the spirit of a dead handyman...
And I sriously have to start making up my bed more often... this is getting crazy... but I am so lazy. Chana has no time for beds! ::throws fist in the air affirmatively:: Right.
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: *Hand It Over* by Stolen Babies, *The Bitter End* by Placebo

(Stare Into The Dream)

12:26pm: *God Bless you all, for the song you sang... for the hearts you break...*
I AM: Chana
I WANT: The simple life
I HAVE: Too much to do
I WISH: I could get more sleep
I HATE: the idea of hate (I agree with Linds on this one)
I MISS: My friends and Serena, whose barrette I found in my Blindside hoodie this morning ::smiles::
I FEAR: Very little
I HEAR: Constant music
I SEARCH: Myself
I WONDER: When the easy part starts
I REGRET: Nothing
I LOVE: Too easily
I ACHE: All over, haha ;-)
I ALWAYS: Think too much
I AM NOT: Completely sure of myself
I DANCE: To Bob Marley in Starbucks... alone... but I dance!
I SING: When the mood strikes
I CRY: When I probably have no good reason to
I AM NOT ALWAYS: Thinking of myself
I WRITE: Less and less for myself
I WIN: Only during the very sparse times in which I am not losing
I LOSE: Everyday
I CONFUSE: Myself
I NEED: Love
I SHOULD: Take better care of myself

x. father thinks I am: Brilliant but too young to live so far away
x. mother thinks I am: Naive but very pretty
x. my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I am: A goddess among women... and he thinks to highly as such
x. three things you are often complimented for: Anything you could possibly think of
x. you get embarrassed when: I dont embarrass easily
x. makes you happy: Stormy weather, understanding it all
x. upsets you: The harsh complexities of life

yes or no...
x. you keep a diary: Yes
x. you like to cook: Yes
x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: Of course
x. you're in love: No, not with a person
x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: No
x. you bite your fingernails: Sometimes
x. you believe in love: Naturally

Who is...?
the prettiest male you know: Sambo!
The weirdest person you know: Jon takes it... cuz he is soooo weird
the Loudest Person you Know: Kristen
the Sexiest Person you Know: ::grins::
Your close friends: Crystal, Linds, Tiff, in that order right now
the Person that Knows the Most about you: Right now, probably Crystal
your Crush?: Crush? I'm already dating someone
Most Boring Teacher: Probably Professor Arnett, I mean, Bio is already boring... but god...

What is...?
your most overused phrase on IM: :: dances ::
the last image/thought you go to sleep with: Muahaha... no comment.
your best feature: Ask Jon
Inside joke: "yeah, yeah -ah, yeah, yeah - ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah..." YEAH!

Do You...?
take a shower everyday: I try to
have a(any) crush(es): I should delete this question... how many times do you have to ask?
think you know you've been in love: I havent
want to get married: Maybe
have any tattoos/where?: No
piercings/where?: 7 in my ears
get motion sickness: no
think you're a health freak: Blakely and I are starting to be...
get along with your parents: Now more than ever
thunderstorms: Are fabulous

WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK Of
Ryan: That guy my sis used to know
Rob: Music Business management
Drew: Lenny!
Stephanie: Annoying blond from Kentwood
Heather: Lived around the corner
Aaron: Drummer
Amy: Royce, hated Jews... openly racist hick.
Will: I dunno... Hardwick?
Paul: Bible
Eve: The reason selling my ovaries becomes a monthly task
John: So many... of them.
Laura: Weird
Alex: I dunno...
Justin: Blue
Ricky: I dunno...
Jacob: Shaun Wahab!!!
Jack: Skellington

name 10 bands/groups/singer you listen to
Deftones
Further Seems Forever
Portishead
Blindside
Coldplay
Sunny Day Real Estate
GlassJAw
FatalBlastWhip
MeWithoutYou
Santana
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: *Cyst* by FatalBlastWhip

(Stare Into The Dream)

9th September 2003

5:36pm: Avoiding an actual entry yet again...
Gay or Not Gay? by tashay17
LJ Name
Favorite Color
Gay or Not Gay?As Straight as a Rod
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

What is your past life? How did you die? by whisperinghope
Name
Age
WayKilled in battle.
Past LifeHuman in Roman times.
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Zombies by surfsidesexx
Zombie Name
You Will Become a Zombie BecauseYou Never Saw it Comin, The Zombies Crowded Around and Started Nibblin' At your Toes
You Will Devour This Many People and Turn them Into Your Undead Army of Zombies195
You Are This Kind of ZombieKilling Machine
Your Perfect Zombie Match IsJonny Thunders
You Will Be Destroyed In This Way, ByShot in the Head by Some Random Hillbilly with a Shotgun
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Stupid hillbillies...
what do they really think of you by purple
lj name
sex
age
your best friend thinksyou'd taste good with ketchup
your family thinkyou could be a god
strangers thinkyou slept with clinton
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Okay, I have a few *best friends* and y'all have some 'splainin' to dooooo!!! Freaks. ;-)
Okay, that's all for today, children, run along now.
Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: *To Live* by Justifide

(2 Red Colored Stars | Stare Into The Dream)

8th September 2003

5:26pm: You made a mess of yourself, you made a mess of everything, you're a mess, a fucking mess...*
Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:Nicole Kidman
Who will play your love interest:Jason Lee
Weeks you will stay in the box office:18
Song that will play during your love scene:Manic Street Preachers - You Stole the Sun from my Heart
Song that will play during your death:Poe - Haunted
Your name:
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


Loooove Manic Street Preachers!

Which porn will you star in? by Bert
Name
Co-StarJesse Lacey
Porn Star NameRitzy Darkholer
Your RolePizza Deliverer
Title of MovieChildren of the Porn
People Who Watched849,972
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


Hahaha. Okay, I am done with the madness now. ;-)
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: *Pictures of You* by The Cure

(Stare Into The Dream)

4:08pm: *Turn down the voluptuous, keeping close to me again, hold back your virtues...*
*You're fearless in motion...*
So... yesterday Jon called me at 9 am, which woke me up... and I think I was a bit on the bitchy side when I answered the phone, greeting him with a hearty *whaaaat...?!* when I answered the phone... and he decided to jump in his little black Acura and drive all the way from Spring Hill to the space between Brentwood and Green Hills that holds Lipscomb... to come see me.
So we went back to his house and he made me soup and what not... which was damn sweet of him, and blah blah blah, skipping over a bunch of stuff... he decides to tell me that he thinks he could be *falling for me*. Damn. Okay... that's all well and good but... I've only been seeing him since I got here... and even then...
Well, I pulled a Nickie and changed the subject to something like *if you would excuse me, I need to use the restroom* and exited stage left. I already know... that was bad.
So I had to come back eventually and he just had to ask me about what was on my mind... and what did I say? Hmm. I said that I thought he was just an amazing person... but I wasn't sure about how I felt... too complex of feelings... had to think it through...
I am a mess. But I'm used to it now... I'm always a mess. I keep myself together quite well though, if I do say so myself. =)
So yes, from about 11 in the am to 11 in the pm I was at Jon's... and it was an interesting... and terribly confusing experience. I dont like the idea that someone feels more for me than I do for them. And he thinks I'm too good for him. I can't imagine why that is. ::shrugs::
So today... was an all black day... I'm terribly tired, stayed up chatting with Caitlin about how much we think guys are strange and hard to read... except... she bought her *boyfriend* a $400 watch for his birthday and he didnt appreciate it cuz he's an ass. So I got the better and of the spectrum on this one.
All I had to eat yesterday was soup, which Jon made me... and I soooo needed some carbs... by the time I got back to the res hall I was about ready to die...
Anyway, I should call my mom, so I'm cutting this random display short.

*This feels like a real life fantasy, feels like you...*
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: *Pantomime* by Orgy

(Stare Into The Dream)

6th September 2003

5:00pm: *I'll cross the skies for your love...*
Mr. Dan gave me a LiveJournal code... so I guess I should go create the Chana journal, yes? I think I will do that sometime today...
So I am probably gonna go into some sort of overload.. I just saw Jimmy Thursday night (and it was amazing!) and I think I mgiht be going to see Rooney tonight unless I go do something else.
I already know this journal entry in gonna be a mess of boring stuff, but here it is... I ramble on...
Yesterday I went shopping with Ash and I was trying to find cream soda (and Jon was the only person who fully understood my madness here) and I was all upset that I couldnt find it... so I ended up buying, like, 6 bottles of Pepsi... and sparkling water... and a case of bottled water... and some other stuff... and I was like *it's not fillnig the void!* so I ended up going out later with Blakely, Jon (her Jon), and Julie and we went to the mall so Jon could exchange some pants... then we went to 2 stores and finally found mah cream soda... Blakely found it... I love her! ::tear of happiness::
So tomorrow's agenda consists of probably going to Jon's place and cooking ( I really miss cooking...) and... that's about it. I know, I am too exciting, but come on... it's Sunday.
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: *Djobi Djoba* by the Gipsy Kings

(Stare Into The Dream)

2nd September 2003

4:17pm: *See you at the bitter end...*
Ten Movies You Own
[1] The Pianist
[2] Interview With The Vampire
[3] Requiem For A Dream
[4] Goodfellas
[5] The Godfather (all of them)
[6] The Crow
[7] Boondock Saints
[8] Pulp Fiction
[9] X-Men
[10] Dead Poets Society

Ten CDs You Own ::personal note: I will attempt to name diff. bands for each::
[1] Refused- The Shape of Punk to Come
[2] Ours- Distorted Lullabies
[3] FatalBlastWhip- The Floors of Fire
[4] U2- Joshua Tree
[5] Love & Rockets
[6] The Culprits- Nora
[7] Placebo- Sleeping With Ghosts
[8] Stolen Babies EP
[9] Further Seems Forever- The Moon is Down
[10] The Best of Christian Death

Women - Five Men You'd Like To Screw
Men - Five Women You'd Like To Screw
[1] No comment
[2] see above
[3] see above
[4] see above
[5] see above

Women - Five Women You Wish You Were
Men - Five Men You Wish You Were
[1] Well
[2] Simply put
[3] I think I'm alright, but...
[4] If they can manufacture me, but better...
[5] I'd like to be her.

Last 2 Movies You Have Seen In The Theaters
[1] The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
[2] Pirates of the Carribean

Two Recent Movies You Want To See
[1] I dunno
[2] I'm not really in the loop as to what's playing right now...

Five Bands You Have Seen In Concert ::personal note: these are my most recent::
[1) Justifide
[2] Switchfoot
[3] East West
[4] Noise Ratchet
[5] Leper, and this has nothing to do with Leper, buuuut... Jimmy on Thursday, yeah!

Five Bands You Want To See Really Badly!
[1] Pete Yorn, who I am seeing on October
[2] U2, who I will see eventually
[3] Santana, who I need to see before I explode
[4] GlassJAw, who I might just have to plan a trip to NY to see, and I could do that easily
[5] Mercury Radio Theater, I have their album, but I missed their show. =(

Name All of the Countries You Have Been In
[1] USA! Yeah...
[2] Canada
[3] Mexico, Russia, Israel, Jordan, Egypt, France, Italy, Germany, Austria, UK... and so on...

Top 5 Places You'd Like To Live
[1] Seattle
[2] San Francisco
[3] London
[4] New York City, if I could afford it
[5] Sao Paulo

Top 3 Dream Jobs
[1] Uhm... clinical counselor (I sort of have to say that, yes?)
[2] Manager of a band (hurrah for double majoring, it could actually happen, and I now have connections...)
[3] Musician or artist of some sort

Five Stores You Could Spend A Million Dollars At
[1] Barnes & Noble
[2] FYE
[3] Guitar Center
[4] A lot of those little shops on NYC... there's so many of them...
[5] I dunno... that's a lot of money to spend...

I was just thinking about how funny it is that I know where Costa and Nick live... which is right across the way from Danielle... how amusing.
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: *Getaway Car* by Audioslave

(Stare Into The Dream)

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