| I don't get it... | ||||
| 06:00pm 29/12/2004 | ||||
)-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Damn... | ||||
| 03:26pm 21/12/2004 | ||||
My day was fine I guess. Dan and I are getting along a lot better than expected. I'm still grounded though... which means I have to wait til friday to see my Matt. Grrr. I really hate the fucking holidays. And Mike Hazard. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Wow... | ||||
| 10:12pm 20/12/2004 | ||||
)-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Read 1 - Post | ||||
| Stressed... | ||||
| 07:23pm 20/12/2004 | ||||
The fact that I know I can't hold him right now makes me miss him even more. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| I actually have something to say... | ||||
| 06:52pm 19/12/2004 | ||||
_LOVE Dan broke up with me. To be honest, I thought I'd be much more effected by it. But meeting Matt made me realize how much better things could be. Matt would never hit me or lie to me. Gary says it will last two weeks but I know it will be much longer. I had sex with Matt about a week before we were dating. The next day I was actually surprised he called me. What surprised me even more is how happy I am when he's with me. He just plain makes me happy. _BEAUTY I don't care what anyone says to me, in my mind, I'm fat. I look in the mirror and I want to cry. No matter what I do I can't get rid of my fucking fat stomach. Sometimes I worry because I know how Matt likes girls really skinny, and he assures me all the time that it doesn't bother him... but maybe I'm just paranoid. In my mind I don't look like other girls do, like girls should. _SMOKING I'm trying, I really am. I've cut down so much. But now that I have motivation to quit it's a lot easier. I have a lot more to say but I guess I'll get to it tomorrow. That's way too much bitching and self pity for one night. |
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| And I can't stop crying... | ||||
| 01:10pm 19/12/2004 | ||||
I finally find someone who makes me feel like the luckiest girl on earth. Someone who treats me better than I've ever been treated. I didn't know people like him existed. Hell, I didn't even think I ever had a chance with him. And shit like this happens. Next time I see Mike Hazard I am going to beat the living shit out of him. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Wow... | ||||
| 10:37pm 16/12/2004 | ||||
But I get to see him tomorrow! I'm actually... oh what's the word... oh yes. HAPPY. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| I have to pee... | ||||
| 03:01pm 13/12/2004 | ||||
I guess I have nothing to say right now. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Stolen from Dave Gunn... | ||||
| 07:31pm 12/12/2004 | ||||
1. Parachute 2. Steve 3. Motz THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: 1. xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx 2. parachuteOWNSyou 3. skatezooyork THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. My back 2. My eyes? 3. My conjunctafunct shoulders THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. My body 2. My face 3. My voice THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: 1. Italian 2. German 3. Lithuanian THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: 1. Dolls 2. Spiders 3. My nightmares THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: 1. Work boots 2. CD player 3. My necklace with Matt's ring on it THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: 1. My "Git-R-Done!" shirt 2. Ciara's brown pants 3. That's it... underwear is for the weak THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS: 1. Slipknot 2. Beethoven 3. Beck THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: 1. Children Of Bodom- Needled 24/7 2. Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata 3. Otep- My Confession THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: 1. I want a bloody nose really badly. 2. To be friends with Elise like we were before the cult stole her. 3. To not fuck things up with Matt because I really really like him and I am not going to fuck it up even a little bit. TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: 1. I am hopelessly unattractive. 2. I hate vegetarians. 3. I am a virgin. THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE GENDER/S YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THAT APPEAL TO YOU: 1. Eyes 2. They can't be skinny 3. Facial hair THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: 1. Lie to my friends 2. Eat pancakes 3. Cheat... on people... I admit to cheating at Monopoly. I fucking hate that long ass game. THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: 1. People watching 2. Playing bass 3. Staring at walls THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: 1. I've had to urge to fight somebody for like 2 months 2. See or talk to Matt (awww... shut up) 3. Go rafting THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: 1. Diesel technician 2. Truck driver 3. Deisel technician THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION: 1. Niagra Falls (but with someone I love because everytime I go there I just want to be with someone I love) 2. Washington DC (I love it there) 3. St. Catherines THREE KID'S NAMES: 1. Abortion #1 2. Abortion #2 3. Abortion #3 THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. Be on the news 2. Fall in love and never fall out of it 3. Play in a band Well that wasted a lot of time. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| This feeling is horrible... | ||||
| 02:53pm 09/12/2004 | ||||
I regret believing every "I love you" and forgiving every "I'm sorry". I'll never believe it again. This isn't how love should feel, even I know that. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Today... | ||||
| 05:11pm 07/12/2004 | ||||
Someone once told me that taking the time to sit down and write someone a letter that you actually put thought into is one of the most meaningful things you can do for a person. And I agree completely. Its just hard to get over years of meaningful expression... Well... I'm dealing. Thankfully I have friends who are there for me when I need them. Ryan Dunn is sexy. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| I feel lonely... | ||||
| 10:54pm 05/12/2004 | ||||
)-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Unreality... | ||||
| 08:52pm 05/12/2004 | ||||
A soft breath sends smoke dancing from the bare wick. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| I feel sad... | ||||
| 10:34pm 13/10/2004 | ||||
I... am nothing. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Deftones- Change... | ||||
| 07:13pm 09/10/2004 | ||||
Into a fly I looked away You were on fire I watched a change In you It's like you never Had wings Now you feel So Alive I've watched you change I took you home Set you on the glass I pulled off your wings Then I laughed I watched a change In you It's like you never Had wings Now you feel So alive I've watched you change It's like you never Had wings I look at the cross Then I look away Give you the lungs to Blow me away I've watched a change In you It's like you never Had wings Now you feel So Alive I've watched you change. Now you feel Alive You Feel Alive I've watched you change It's like you never Had wings )-(+mond_fuck+)-( |
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| Meaningless survey... | ||||
| 09:56pm 06/10/2004 | ||||
[b]estfriends: Sadly, my collection of plastic things have told me the least lies. [c]hoice of meat: Calamari, if that counts as meat. [d]ream date: Watching stars in an area away from all other forms of life. [e]xciting adventure: Anything having to do with one other person involving somewhere completly random or having to do with shiney things. [f]avorite food: sour (RED) apple Altoids [g]reatest accomplishment: Staying alive for so long. [h]appiest day of your life: I'd have to say the day Steph and I went to Lake George. [i]nterests: Playing bass, music of all forms, writing, drinking coffee and mountain dew. [j]ello: Red [k]ool aid: Red [l]ove: is unattainable. [m]ost valued: I don't reall see a point in picking and choosing what I value... [n]ame: I don't think so. [o]utfit you wore to school today: Pants, a shirt, and all the other pointless shit I adorn myself with daily. [p]izza topping: Mushrooms all the way [q]uestion most asked: What's going on? [r]adio station: I despise the radio. [s]port: Crew, by default. [t]elevision show: RENO 911! [u]r favorite song: That one by Deftones that they play over and over in Queen of the Damned... I don't remember the name. [w]here you live: Shithole, New York. [x]yz: x [y]ear born: 1988. [z]odiac sign: Pisces That was pointless yet time consuming. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| A Quote... | ||||
| 11:25pm 02/10/2004 | ||||
)-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| People are immodest creatures... | ||||
| 07:17pm 02/10/2004 | ||||
You do not know what you need but in few cases can be blamed You do not know what you want but what you think you want you'll pay for in advance in vain Long winded short tempered people You dont know pain )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Yeah... | ||||
| 09:17pm 29/09/2004 | ||||
Dan came over today. )-(+mind_fuck+)-( |
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| Meh... | ||||
| 06:41pm 28/09/2004 | ||||
I just feel horrible today for no reason. Something good did happen today however. Last week I talked to one of the novice boys about music; slipknot, slayer, hatebreed. Today he came up to me and handed me the new hatebreed cd, which he burned for me. It made my day. But once again I feel crushed. I hate this... )-(+mind+fuck+)-( |
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mind_fuck |
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