amelia jordan's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
amelia jordan

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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * [07 Nov 2003|10:10am]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | shake ur tail feather ]

mathew is a asshole n wants to separate again. shaun thinks im a hoe. brandon thinks i talk 2 much. jay dont speak 2 me cuz i told claire bout what he did. all the guyz r mad at me. i need 2 clear thingz up wit shaun 2nite when he gets on msn. on his journal he said hed b drunk so itll help.

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sexy kittn [06 Nov 2003|03:01pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | 50 cent magick stick ]

readn my old updates made me sad. i miss kate. i miss the elk. when i went home last week i was happy. me n kate talkd n she hugd on me. sissy wants me to move back cuz grandad is getn sick again. sissy says he forgets her name sum days. i seen all muh friends while i wuz there. i blew my back tire n shaun fixd it 4 me but otha then that he didnt seem 2 care i wuz home. guess i wuz n his way r hes datn sum hoe again. i need 2 talk 2 him next time i see him on msn

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betrayed [06 Aug 2003|10:45am]



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stop smiling at me [04 Aug 2003|07:44am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | janes addiction jane says ]

why have people been smiling at me all fucn day? why why why

have to work tomorrow at 5. i dont wanna i dont wanna i dont wanna

me n kate had a fight today bout mathew. she dont like him callen me.

sissy has a boyfriend. hes black r mixed r whateva hahaha

this new gurl shauns wit seems ok. he calls her babygurl umm he used to call me babygurl. thats my name!!


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I CANT FIND ANY CLEAN SOX O MY GOD [25 Jul 2003|01:45pm]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | 311 ]

bizzy bizzy bizzy bizzy day. kate is here watching who framed roger rabbit. i <3 who framed roger rabbit. smoked weed 2day wit kate. its been a long time n i got high wit the first puff.

went 2 bob evans after that 2 cee shaun at work n he was so happy 2 cee me n kate. he looked sad when i first seen him then he spotted me n he got this gigantic grin. we waited for him 2 take his lunch butt he couldnt take it cuz this old bitch wouldnt let him. so we sat at this table where we could cee him n had pop so they couldnt kick us out. we kept waven at him n it pissed that old bitch off. that was funny. then he kept burnen himself on the grill. Ha!

the old bitch left n sum young guy let shaun go on lunch. we went out 2 kates car n attacked shauns food. hahaha i dont think he got any of it but it was free so he didnt care. weed n onion rings HA!

2morrow is jessies birthday. my baby will be 5. they grow up 2 fast. mathew will be here. FUCK. he will cee me n kate 2gether. we r all going to chucky cheese n i no he will start shit wit kate. i told hur not 2 go but she said shes not goen to miss jessies party cuz of him. that made me smile.

I JUS GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER N I CANT FIND MY SOX. been stayn wit kate so i dont no where my shits at n e more.


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remember that time when we made love n the roses??? [23 Jul 2003|02:31pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | r. kelly ]

we made love last nite

never b4 n my life have i ever made love. b4 mathew called it goen slow. that was how he made love.

after work i went home n took a shower then went 2 kates apartment. i didnt want 2 go at first cuz i was tired from work n i new we wood do that n i was still unsure bout my body. im happy i went. kate had the bed covered in rose pedals n she made me dinner. on my plate was this sweet card she gotten me that im keepen 4eva n also there was a little note that said were not haven sausage tonite. that made me bust up.

ill keep the good parts 4 my diary hahaha. kate had sum candy kisses n a dish on her bed board. after we made love she unwrapped one n put it n my mouth n kissed me. i told hur that i love hur after she did that n i started cryen. she told me she had been waiten all nite 4 me 2 say that. but she never really said it back.

im NOT that weak n im ashamed i did that n front of hur. i started cryen harder cuz i hate cryen n i hate how i act wit her. she probably thinks im crazy now. im a tough bitch n thats how want 2 act wit everyone.

she slept wit her leg round me n i felt warm all nite. when we woke up she put hur ankle bracelet on me n said i could keep it. we slept n late but we had coffee n talked bout goen to college together at iusb. then i had 2 go cuz she was bout late 4 work.

sissy is goen to indiana state this fall r next year. i want 2 go there wit hur but iusb is cheaper n i want 2 be wit kate. kate said she will look at indiana state so i hope thats where we go.

i got a voice mail from mathew last nite. he was drunk n said he wanted 2 see how i was feelen n that he loved me. mathew is my babies daddy n i will always love him. i hate that i do. he makes me sick.

shaun got a job. he always buys me shit when he gets a job. i like that. i wanted him 2 work wit me at tgi fridays but lilly hired sum fucn fence hopper that cant speak english. me n shaun could have both got 200 dollars if i referred him n he got hired. i could use that 4 college. next time something opens im goen 2 try again. ill make him work wit me cuz he always does whut i want. only bad thing bout shaun worken at fridays is we fight a lot now. he says shit that makes me want 2 throw things at him.


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power nap [19 Jul 2003|06:22pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | 311 ]

mmm almost 4got bout updating this haha.

opened today at fridays. i hate opening and i hate closing butt i never get afternoons. tips suck in the mornings 2 so im telling lilly tomorrow i cant work mornings. fuck that.

i need a power nap before i go to kates apartment tonite. i am so tired. only got 3 hours of sleep last nite cuz i didnt get home 2 midnite n i needed to finish washing the rest of my work outfits.

went wit shaun last nite 2 the fireworks n michigan. it was fun. but im neva wearing sandals there again cuz my toes froze. I was mad at him 4 a couple days cuz he was being a jerk on msn and ended up pissing me off when I was already haven a bad day. shaun changed when he went to job core. sum guys need 2 stay virgins. I cant shock him anymore. I used to love ceeing him turn red. last nite I grabbed his arm and told him I wanted to go finish what we started that nite in the motel as a joke. but he started pullen me looken 4 a place. pig!!! haha I <3 him

my body is better. I lost a couple pounds n im not hurten as bad. I get sharp pains n my legs that go up to my stomach but its not as often. I get the feelen Kate wants 2 do more but all I can do is kiss rite now. I want 2 bad butt I jus cant. she needs to stop being so pushy.

~baby gurl~

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Amelia & Katrina [14 Jul 2003|04:11pm]
[ mood | hyper ]
[ music | 311 ]

3 hours to burn before I go make the doughnuts so I’ll update my journal quickly

Me and Kate are now an item. She asked me by kissing me and then I kissed her back with a yes!!! (Amelia & Katrina) mmm yes I like that! Think she wanted to do more with me that nite but my body is not ready rite now.

Shaun got sick from watching us and left haha. He thought I was sucking her finger but I was not!!! I was laying with my back to her chest watching a movie. First she put her legs around me and I pretended not to notice but Shaun kept looking over and I could not help but to smile! Then she put her hand on my boob so I took her hand and bit her nail haha.

Dharma and Greg is on!!


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Avril is Indie pop??? [12 Jul 2003|06:15pm]
[ mood | guilty ]
[ music | Avril ]

I wish my name was Avril.

Kate is cummn over today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shaun is cummn over today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Erick mite cum over today!!!!!!!!!!!
Brandy mite cum over today!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5 sum orgy???
3 sum???


eating a brownie. im a size 7 rite now. fat bitchhhhhh. n a good mood n i feel bad for that cuz i just lost the baby. why am i happy? not waiting tables rite now that could be why. kate wants to talk about being together tonite. im so happy!

where the fuc is shaun??? said he would be over in a few. that was 2 hours ago! how long does it take to go to martins and get sprite?? guys!

watching pretty woman. I <33 this movie!


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[12 Jul 2003|06:13pm]
Soroity Slut
You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Ow! My ovaries! [11 Jul 2003|10:40am]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | R. Kelly ]

work took a lot out of me last nite so i went to bed as soon as i hit my room. and to think i will putting on that outfit again in 6 hours.

I was watching an episode of "Leave it to Beaver" on Nick and I realized I never could have lived in the 50's. All that flippy dye-job blondish hair, plaid full length skirts and pointy bras...and knitting! The mother spent the whole episode either in the kitchen washing dishes or on the couch knitting. I must admit that Eddie Haskel was rather hot. He's the only character on the show that doesn't make you think of a cold glass of milk.

Brittany Spears is not a virgin, according to KCCI Channel 8 news. Big bloody deal. My mom, sissy and I went to Perkins this morning. She came up to see me and wish me well. I <3 my mom. I made a remark that it'd probably be full of drunks trying to sober up. My mother said "Nah, it's too early for the drunks. It will just be full of a bunch of homosexuals. All of the homosexuals eat muffins." She wasn't quite sober. Some dude in a black trenchcoat kept staring at me. He reminded me of this kid named Will from high school. Will once told me my long tongue would make some man very happy some day. He always wore a black trenchcoat and all my friends called him "Trenchcoat Willie." Last I heard he moved to Florida. I noticed on the Perkins menu they have an item called "Mammoth Muffins." It made me think of Mathew. Mathew once asked me to make him "...a blueberry muffin, of the mammoth variety." I think I'll shower soon, or try to figure out my new Song Walkman thing...YEAH WHATEVER!

Shaun is such a queen! I <3 him


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fuck u cuz u fucked me [09 Jul 2003|03:42pm]
Not going into work today.

They think i lost the baby again. shaun is not home. i need to call mathew. i have options but i feel i need his ok. im sure he will be fucn thrilled
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[08 Jul 2003|11:45pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | Evanescence ]


ladi dada how was my day.....It sucked. Very depressing but I'm rather numb to recent events. Kate shot me down tonite on MSN. Says she jus wants to be my friend rite now, she dont know if she wants anything more. Lets be real Kate you just agree wit Mathew. You cant be wit sumone like me.

Well, I feel like watching the Lord of the Rings because those Hobbits and Elves sure do make me feel like a natural woman....haha Seriously. Frotto Baggins and Legola = Lots o' Loving! :P haha

And by the way thanks to Shaun who got me into journals. I heart having a journal. I can write myself letters which nobody butt me knows whut im talkn bout. Woop de doop. His sn is blurtygoat So check him out. hes my lover. You bet ;D

I just got out of the shower and I am wet. Shaun will call n bout 20 minutes to watch Evanescence together. Kate you will die a very horrible death.


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Second letter to myself [08 Jul 2003|11:03pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Genuwine ]

Dear Amelia,

Subsequently, this is a second letter to yourself today. It is merely obvious that you have imploded within my little eyes. Why do these feelings, so oblivious to your real needs compel its potency once more? They talk about love: a crimson red shade that chokes all your hearts dreams.
She rejected you tonite. You are barely breathing- your heart collapsed and lungs suffocate from these seldom words that make thoughts dance on razor sharp clouds, but now they are bleeding. Each word becomes a distinct whisper and each whisper, evolves into sheer silence. Equanimity destroyed on this lavishing oblivion of nothing. The noose waves in the minds-eye of your imagination. What a sight for Salem’s hierarchy: majestic 2 cent slut queen! Why are you so weak, to pursue this blackened farewell to love? I will stand by your side that has almost withered from this animosity. If you refuse to give up, you will someday find love. He or she or they will engulf you with sweet, tempting honey to drown their tongue and smother you in satisfaction. What makes you contemplate that you are given one more chance to ablaze a region of mirrored mishaps? Why linger in a society where every entity rejects your sweet fragrance? Nothing will harvest on your famine fields of wants. To everyone to you whom matters, you are merely a 2 cent whore.


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Letter to myself [08 Jul 2003|06:27pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | The Clash ]

Dear Amelia,
I have inherited your sullen visions. Your heart twists like the vines of a poisonous grape. Your heart is an almandine. And yet you yearn for someone to recognize what you have to offer and endless love upon this world galore. Instead, your heart should submerge with rubies instead of these troublous plastic-plated mirrors of your idealistic friends fantasies.
I am sorry that you've failed twice. I am certain that this will be the third time you've failed. You have broken wings stitched to your flimsy body. Your efforts for self-satisfactions is futile when serpents beseech your body and mind. And you can feel the pain of a thousand swords shift towards the bottom of your heart.
I care for you deeply Amelia. It's certain that its significant people who have incised disheartening events upon your darkened ceiling. Scattered with ice cubed stars and moonlit blood that flourishes amongst the walls. You've only seen yourself scavenge in all the trapped corners and closed doors. It's time to find the true image in which reflects your utmost dreams.
I was certain within the first three months of talking to them, that you have fulfilled star-crossed lover's expectations of why you cant be like them. Instead, you are fulfilling their demise. Millie, I am absolutely sure that you are a bitter sham. Stop the denial. I can feel it gushing from the borders of your eyes. Why do you carry on like this? Is this what love is supposed to mean to me?
Darling, I'm afraid that maybe you just don't speak the quixotic tongue. Instead you are dripping in visions of everyone elses wants and needs. Stop glaring at the velvet sparkles that are more like razor blades. Each blink translates to one droplet from the realms of visions that engulf upon those peach-shaped cheeks.
If I were to be given only one more word of advice, I would give you the most perfect words for your dreams reflection. She will be shaped by all the puddles of love and fun you need. Her kiss will awaken your soul. No more spiders crawling from beneath your bed, no more Mathew to take for granted your fruitless fingertips.
As I saw you improving, I saw you drown in a whirlpool of your masqueraded sorrow. You are prone to inflictions. I've watched you concurrently singing these latent words. I apologize on behalf of myself for your mistakes and idiotic decisions. Love is probably the one with the most fatality amongst them all.
To sum everything up, it's nice to be in the presence of your aurora with those synthetic smiles and fabricated laughter when your heart is seething with emotions unknown. Here is to you babygurl.


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Get this party started on a Monday nite! [07 Jul 2003|10:52pm]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | Pink ]

Mmm, work went well. Lilly slipped on sum ice so that made my day. Well, I just got home from an exhausting but exhilirating day out with Erick, Brandy, Shaun, Sissy and my purple panty lover Kate. Anyways, we just basically hung around walmart.

We played around and I hit on 2 old people. They were mighty sexy. One was a guy who had sexy glasses and a nice looking toupe. Actually I dont know if it really was a toupe but he sure had one nice comb-over or something! :P I think he was hitting on me too but then he had to leave because his wife was calling :o\ Darn....But afterwards another REALLY old guy walked by and I started hitting on him but he took one glance at me and started to walk away from me and as I walked back I exclaimed "I just wanted some lovin!!!!!" hahaha

I also pushed Kate around in a cart and almost got us kicked out in the first 5 minutes of our Walmart adventure. haha I think Erick and Brandy are up to no good if you know what I mean ;P It was rather gruesome to watch. Its like watching softcore porn when you just want some hardcore action but then the evil slut comes back from the dead and the movie just ends. Its horrible. hahaha Sike kidding. But I really sense a hook up lol Erick.

Whilst in the backseat of Erick's ugly car it was getting mighty steamy. So I made a nice hand print on the back seat window and it looks like someone was getting some mad lovin' in there. haha. Me and Shaun?!? Oh C'mon that's sick. He is my bestfriend. Non of that frijoles! Learn from the past!

Ladi dadi da, We also tried on some clothes and played dress up. It was great. I put on these really huge dresses with weird sewing patterns on it. Nice. Anything but nice! It was COMICAL! XD Then we stopped playing dress up.

We talked about boxers at one point and I exclaimed there should be a Barney [the purple dinosaur] boxers that say "Use your imagination" where the crotch is. Isn't that might innovative?! I think so. Man hanging with Kate again was wicked awesome to the max! I <33 Kate. Cant wait to start tapping that ass. I even tried on little girl gloves and got a nice grasp on those nice butt cheeks. Mmmmm, Kate got some female ass. That's right kids. Upside triangle pride baby! :P hahahaha Kidding.

Anyways, I have to get ready to go to bed because that's where all the cool kids go :P Not. I have a early doctors appointment again tomorrow muthafuckaz.....

Kiss your clit goodbye,


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Go home just go away [05 Jul 2003|05:17pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | 311 ]

"Its 8:16 AM will you wake up to me? The first thing that you see? Eyes open I'm just hopin' you feel the same as me" -311

Well I felt the need to update once more. I am havent been up to much except talking to Shaun and Kate and Mathew will be going home soon. Me and Sissy were conversing about having ADD and we started going on about shit fuck bitch cocksuckers. Hah, I guess its one of those 'you-had-to-be-there' moments. fireworks day blew cuz Mathew and me are fighting.

Nonethless, today I took a short nap that actually felt relieving after a day of hardcore nose blowing and medicine intaking. Ah, I hate being sick. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow early to check out whatsup with my baby living in my tum tum. I tried eating dinner after being slightly disoriented from work I felt like I was devouring bricks and stones. I probably would have enjoyed it if It didnt feel like my body was becoming swollen and fat. After dinner, I greeted Grandad with a hug and kiss and and had a nice warm cup of green tea. Mmm now my body dont feel so swollen and battered. Going to talk to Kate on MSN tonight and hope Shaun will be on also. Afterwards, I think I will grab myself a pecan delight. I heart those things. All day at work, thats all I do. I eat M&Ms and Pecan Delight. I eat so much that my mouth ends up smelling and tasting like chocolate all day. Horrid I know. haha

I'm listening to 311. Woop-de-doop! Ive been listening to them alot lately. I just love Nick Hexum and his unique style of music and his soothing sexy mama voice. He makes me want to wet my pants. lol And Pnut's bass playin' is mackin. No Doubt I love Gwen. Pink is a Goddess.

Shaun and I started singing songs to each other yesterday <3 haha He sung some song from some dude and I sung him the Clash "Should I stay or should I go" haha He said I should stay. :P Nice?

Everyone I talk to now seems to look at me like I'm some dumb whore. At work I write on the schedule using words like jus cuz or sum otha shit. They think I have no education but that's how I write some times, it's just me. Walter said he heard Lilly saying that I have 3 kids and I'll never change. Two faced bitch. Fuck you. You dont know me and I dont need to change.

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You make me sick [03 Jul 2003|04:51pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Pink ]

I hope you are satisfied now that you've used me all up like a whore. Your little whore for the year. Do I get a gold medal for that?
Now you can go along with your happy-go-lucky life where you won't need me anymore because I am no longer in service for you. I wasn't a friend to you. Just someone you can tie on a string and pull down from the sky whenever you wanted a vagina to fuck.
You probably have no idea who this is being addressed to. Well if you want to know, it's for more than one person. It's for a couple of you bastards. I can no longer take this shit from you with a smile, I can no longer keep everything to myself.
I see how it is. Now that I am not the only one with a plated card to pull you a long on my red wagon, you've disabled me from your life. You just give me that cold stare, that shrug. As far as I know, you don't need a friend like me anymore. You already have one who you can be a shadow puddle of. Wow, and I always thought you can open your mind to new people, new things. But I guess I was wrong.
I wish I didn't believe the things that you said about people because I bet those people are far much better of a person than you'll ever be.
I take back all the cruel remarks I made about them. Infact, now I'll say the same thing about you.
So go ahead. Hold your beautiful head up high in the sky, so gravity can crush it into a billion smitherines.
This friendship has NEVER been about us, it's just YOU and YOUR needs!!

Ahaha. Aren't I just a frivolous character?!? ;P

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