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Sunday, October 19th, 2003

Time:1:22 am.
I've been hesitant to reveal my alter ego to the world, but my responsibilities to Friendster Royale over ride that I suppose.

I am Migs AKA Sexy Beast the Fixer Upper.


The Sexy Beast thing is self explanatory. The fixer upper part, you'll have to watch this video to understand. Ok ok it's from a project I'm working on about a home makeover, but it's all very super hero-ish.

Hmmm you know watching that videeo alone, you wouldn't think it was about painting and renovating a house. LOL
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 7th, 2003

Subject:Case Study of a Fool - "T" part 5
Time:12:31 am.
So I became a free man. I tried to convince myself that it was all for the better since the endless fighting would have ended up making us hate each other. My attempted self delusion didn't work. There was a noticable change in my demeanor. Sure, I had a lot less to complain about but I felt incomplete. There was a hole that no amount of partying or video games could fill up. I missed her.

At this point, she still wasn't talking to me. It had been roughly two weeks since the breakup. Prom day arrived and I went to my senior prom stag. So did she. I sat on one side of the ballroom and she on the other. My friend Ange told me to quit moping around and freaking go ask her to dance already. I stalled and I stalled, trying to weigh the pros and cons. It came to a point where they forced me out of my seat to go ask her. I didn't fight them. So I started out on the long path towards her, weaving my way through the crowd, practicing what I was gonna say in my head. I was halfway there when all of a sudden, the music stopped.

The hip hop dance club had made arrangements to do a number for the prom. So I stayed where I was and figured I'd ask her after the performance was done. So they danced their little number as I waited for my chance at redemption. No such luck. The prom coordinator announced that the prom was over and thanked us for coming. I couldn't believe it. Why would they fucking end the prom with a stupid dance number from a bunch of hip hop posers?! Maybe this was fate's way of telling me to just let go already and move on. So there ended my senior prom.

Graduation day came. At the end of the ceremonies, I made my way over to T. I gave her the compulsory congrats as we both acted like a couple of strangers. It was like we hadn't spent the good part of two years as the most intimate of friends. I figured it was a lost cause and gave her a meaningless hug. Somewhere along the way though, it ceased to be meaningless. The hug lingered. It was like neither of us wanted to let go. I caught a glimpse of her mom watching us and she had the strangest little happy smile on her face which I found weird since she had opposed our relationship from the beginning. Maybe she finally realized that what T and I had was more than just youthful hormones.

I think our group of friends also breathed a sigh of relief after seeing us hug. Ever since the breakup, we had fractured into two camps and it was hard on everyone. So taking advantage of this apparent cease fire, they made plans to go out that night and celebrate.

Our choice of venue was a club that we frequented back in the good days. Midway through the night, a rare slow song was played. This time, there was no hesitation on my part. I immediately went up to T and asked her to dance. She nodded and we went to the dance floor. As we swayed back and forth on the dance floor, I told her the story of how I had planned to do this during prom. Tears began to run down her face. She said that she was glad we had one last chance to dance regardless of where it was held. The song ended and the pumping club music resumed, but we didn't care. We remained there slow dancing, hoping to extend the moment and trying to forget that we would soon be going our separate ways to college.

(to be continued)
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Sunday, October 5th, 2003

Subject:Editing Skillz
Time:7:30 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Music:Hans Zimmer - The Rock Soundtrack.
A week ago, my friends painted a house and they had me film it. I decided to edit it as a sort of Iron Chef/Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/Trading Spaces hybrid.

Here's the intro sequence and a time lapse montage. I had to chop a whole scene out in between the intro and the montage to make the file fit on my server so there's a real awkward cut in there, but again, this is just a demo version.

Untitled Paint Project intro



Enjoy :-)
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, October 2nd, 2003

Subject:Case Study of a Fool - "T" part 4
Time:11:39 pm.
WARNING: Some adult material to follow. Viewer discretion is advised

After that day, there were no more word games. There was no dancing around the issue, no fumbling for a way to describe our relationship. T and I were a couple. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life that day.

Everything seemed to move in light speed in terms of intimacy. We both took to wearing lots of concealing clothing due to the massive hickies that adorned our skin.

Then one day, six months into the relationship, we made the decision to go all the way. You never forget your first time and man was our first ever funny. We had obviously gotten used to making out, so the foreplay was no problem. However when it came time to actually do the deed I found that I couldn't figure out how to get it inserted. LOL I dunno. I guess back in that day, I thought that it was more toward the front as opposed to being underneath. We fumbled around for 10 minutes trying to figure out how it worked to no avail. We both collapsed exhausted and frustrated, both wondering if we should just stop and try some other time. We agreed to try one last time and then call it a day if it didn't work. Miraculously we lucked out and yin met yang. Now I wish I could say that I was amazing during my first time, but honestly I think I lasted about 45 seconds or so. Heh. She said it hurt like a mother so I suppose it all worked out.

Regardless how bad technically it was, I still look back to that moment as one of the high points of my life. I mean, not everyone gets to make their first time truly special with someone they loved. So Pandora's box had been opened. We had tasted the forbidden fruit and damn it was good. Every place we went turned into an opportunity to make love. In the park, in elevators, bathrooms, parking garages and neighborhood streets. Every morning, she would take a cab to come over to my place and wake me up so that we could get some action in before school. It was insane.

We were even more inseparable than we were before. I skipped my yearly trip to LA, a trip to Europe with the family and the senior trip to Boracay to be with her. I didn't care about sightseeing in those places anymore. I just wanted to be with her.

I wondered if all relationships were like this. I mean, we were compatible in every way. As friends, as companions and as lovers. I would try to be all romantic with elaborate gestures and she would laugh them off whenever I screwed up (which was probably every time) and just look at it as endearing. Looking back, I really gotta admit that I had it good. So good in fact that I know I haven't found anyone since that complements me so completely. Wish I had realized that back then.

Cause around a year after we had finally gotten together, I met and got to know a bunch of new friends through this club I was a part of which was a sort of Big Brother/Big Sister program for underpriveliged children. The thing about these new friends though was that they were all girls. Now, I had no interest in cheating on T whatsoever with any of these new friends. I was too much in love with T to even consider that. She didn't see it that way though. What was once the perfect relationship turned into a series of endless fights and constant bickering. She would complain about me hanging out with them and I would resent her for being suspicious and jealous over nothing.

It got to the point where we couldn't talk to each other without arguing. The only time we didn't argue was during sex, which at that time was almost always make-up sex. After which we would immediately start bickering again. I dunno. We were both hard headed and unmoving in our views and something had to give.

So during lunch break one day and I asked her if we could talk. We went over to the front of the library and I took a deep breath. I still remember the clothes she was wearing and the look on her face as she waited for what I had to say. I don't think she quite expected it. Maybe she was expecting me to say that finally, I chose her over my friends, I dunno. Instead, I told her that it was too much and that I couldn't take it anymore. I needed time to myself to figure things out and that a break would probably be the best thing for us. Besides, graduation was coming and we'd have to move to different states anyway. She looked shocked. I assured her that no matter what, I wanted to stay friends. She looked at me and after a long pause, she muttered "Fuck you" under her breath and walked away.

(to be continued)

Yup, it ain't over yet. Not by a long shot.
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Wednesday, October 1st, 2003

Subject:Case Study of a Fool - "T" part 3
Time:12:47 am.
So the prom ended. I took T home and walked her to her door step. The urge to build on the momentum of the night was building inside. I felt like this was the closest I had been to moving things to another level and wanted to take the chance. As we reached her door, I moved closer, planning to kiss her. But then the incidents in the past flashed in my brain. I thought, "You know, tonight was more than you had ever hoped. There's no need to ruin it." So I aborted the kiss and just gave her a hug. Maybe something would happen in the future, who knows. But in the meantime, I wanted that night to be untainted by heartache. I drove home, and went to sleep with a smile on my face.

In the following weeks, T and I spent more and more time with each other. That thing where you're on the phone watching the same channel as the other person until you went to sleep became a nightly event. Summer came and we were together nearly 24/7. We were basically inseparable. I began to wonder if maybe this was enough. Sure, we weren't physically intimate and there was nothing official whatsoever about our relationship, but it felt like it was enough. I was happy with whatever I could get.

Three weeks into summer though, she went to visit her old home and old friends in Cebu, which is a different island from the one we lived in. I tell you, that was a miserable time. I was like a junkie going through withdrawal. Being without her forced me into keeping a journal to find an outlet for my thoughts. The entries were all basically variations on the theme "I miss her". I wracked up a phone bill during those two weeks which rivaled the National Debt. At that point I stopped fooling myself. I needed to figure out where I stood in her eyes because I needed to either satiate my desires or totally try to forget about it.

She got home and I went to see her as soon as she got in. We went for a drive to a nearby park and sat in the car talking. Now, let me remind you guys that I have absolutely no game. I was born without the genes necessary for having game. My inner playa has like Down Syndrome. So instead of utilizing the quasi romantic moment and the happiness of reunion after a long separation, I went back to my old ways and bluntly laid out how I felt and where I wanted our relationship to go. Buh. Way to go dumbass. After the words came out, I immediately wanted to take them back. I knew how it would work out.

But sometimes the world can surprise you. She told me that she had been thinking the whole time she was away and had apparently missed me as much as I had missed her. She said she wanted to be with me and closed her eyes to kiss me. Things went into slow motion, but my mind raced. "This is it!" I thought. The defining moment of my life. Finally, she wanted to be with me.

What followed was quite possibly the most embarassing moment of my life.

As we leaned in for the kiss, I suddenly stopped and said, "Wait!". She gave me a puzzled look and I began my master plan. I popped a specific CD into my player. Surely she would be unable to escape my brilliant romantic scheme. Out of the car speakers came the sounds of, you guessed it, Chicago's "Hard To Say I'm Sorry", our first dance song. After soaking in the first few notes, I looked at her, gave her my best bedroom eyes and said, "Ok, now."

She blinked a couple times and then spontaneously errupted into hysterical laughter. I swear, I heard a snort in there somewhere. I was befuddled. Where had my master plan gone wrong? It worked in the movies didn't it? What da heck? This went on for a while. She was telling me about how her stomach had started to hurt already. I slumped into my seat and kinda just watched her through scrunched up eyes. Then, she said it.

"Omigod you're such a dork! No wonder I love you"

Now this time, it was me blinking. Did she really say that? Maybe she meant it in the friend, I love you way? The words had barely escaped her lips as her face got serious. Our eyes locked and at that moment I knew that she hadn't meant it in that way. We closed our eyes and both leaned in for the kiss. I'm sure that technically, we must've been terrible since we were both relatively new to this stuff, but it didn't matter. It was amazing. Finally, she was my girl.

(to be continued...)
Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, September 30th, 2003

Subject:Daddy Migs
Time:3:59 pm.
*Old xanga post that I'm recycling here*

You know, I've been making jokes here and there about having kids, but in all seriousness, I actually do wanna have kids already. Is that strange for someone my age? I dunno.


I know that realistically, it's not possible seeing as how I'm still a student and well, umm you need a woman to have kids with, but damn I wanna be a dad already. There are few things I'm sure of about myself. One is that I know I'll be a good filmmaker, another is I know I give good oral pleasure. Heh. But the one thing about me that I feel most strongly about is that I know I'll be a good dad. Here's a short list of things I wanna do as a dad.



  • I wanna make the mad drive to the hospital
  • I wanna hand out cigars in the waiting room
  • I wanna go to that viewing window, point and say "That one's mine!"
  • I wanna experience first steps and first words.
  • I wanna wake up at 2am to feed and change them.
  • I wanna take them to Dodger games
  • I wanna buy cotton candy and cracker jacks and sing "Take me out to the Ballgame".
  • I wanna dress em up in little Dodger and 49er jerseys and get on the jumbotrons.
  • I wanna teach them the limitless comedy of the phrase, "WHAT HAPPENED TO HERE?!"
  • I wanna coach a little league team with at least one of em as the star player.
  • I wanna go camping and fishing
  • I wanna watch them play in the school band
  • I want little drawings that I can tack onto the refrigerator
  • I wanna teach em how to ride a bike
  • I wanna pack a sack lunch
  • I wanna talk about the birds and the bees
  • I wanna see their faces when they climb into the minivan after school
  • I wanna take em to Disneyland so the mascots can scare the crap outta them like they scared me.
  • I wanna see them waiting at the window and yell, "Daaaad! Pizza's here!" when the pizza guy arrives.
  • I wanna go out with people who consider a night at Sizzler a fun time.
  • I wanna take em to movies and squirm uncofortably while they giggle through the erotic parts
  • I wanna fix their booboos and wipe their tears after they're done roughhousing.
  • I want the unconditional love
  • Finally, I'll really enjoy the process of MAKING them. Buhahahaha....

Looking over this list, I realize I've got life as the dad of boys pretty planned out. LOL Girls are great, but damn they cause grey hairs for their dads. I've told a couple people already about my evil plan to name my daughters the most unattractive, nasty names I can think of to ward off the evil punks that'll inevitably chase after em. Bertha is definitely my first daughter's name. I can't imagine an attractive girl named Bertha, can you? If by some fluke she does end up being hot, I'm gonna have my interrogation speech and shotgun ready for any guys who think my girls will be easy prey. So all you people better warn your kids if they try to date any daughter of mine. They're gonna have to come through me.

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Monday, September 29th, 2003

Subject:Case Study of a Fool - "T" part 2
Time:2:33 pm.
The next day, I woke up on a lawn chair. I don't quite remember how I got there. All I know is I deposited my lunch on my friend's backyard. I didn't bother looking to see if anyone else was still up. I got into my car and went home.

T came over that day to check up on me. I pretended to be to sick to talk, but she wouldn't leave. I'm guessing she knew what was on my mind cause she says to me, "Nothing happened". A rush of relief ran through me even though I tried my best to hide it. I told her that she shouldn't hold herself back on my account. She tells me that she just had a minor crush on pretty boy and didn't want it to get in the way of our friendship. At that point, I'm wondering what this all means. Is she gonna deny herself from being with anyone cause of me? That just didn't feel right. I told her as much and she just kinda laughed it off, telling me not to get too high on myself. She just didn't feel enough for pretty boy. Kind of a risk versus reward thing I guess.

So things went back to normal for a while. During this period, one of our other friends, K, had a much publicized crush on me, but I really wasn't interested. I guess a part of me still wanted to be able to pursue T. So I did what most any other normal person would do, I concocted a scheme to get K and my friend Chris together. The three of us hung out at his house one day and I basically forced them to slow dance with each other. LOL I told em I'd go to a corner of the room with my back turned and they could have their moment together. Surprisingly it worked out and those two got together. Ok maybe it isn't the normal way of handling a crush, but hey all parties ended up happy afterward.

Also around this time, my friend Mike set me up with a friend of his named Tisha. Tisha and I went out a couple times and she was great. I mean, she was cute, she was smart, we got along great and most importantly, she was interested. She had one major flaw that I couldn't get over though. She wasn't T.

T knew about Tisha and somehow, something changed. I dunno, maybe it made her look at me in a different light. Maybe the thought of me with another girl bugged her. Whatever the reason, she came to me and said she wanted to give us a try. I was ecstatic. Words can't describe how happy I was at the moment. We kinda just held hands and talked that day. I broke things off with Tisha.

The next day we went to see "Con Air" with our friends. Before the movie, my friends all came up to me asking if it was true. I'd give them a sheepish nod and they'd all start whacking me on the shoulder and the back, telling me that they were happy for me. I guess they were all rooting for me. That day was just awesome....to that point. During the movie, T leaned over to me and I could tell she had tears in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she basically told me that she couldn't go through with it. Again, she told me about how she was afraid of losing me as a friend if it didn't work out. I tried to reassure her that it would never happen, but she didn't believe me. So there and then, as Nicholas Cage and John Cusack fought a band of escaped felons, we broke up. We had been together for about 30 hours.

That night I drove to a vacant lot and sat in my car. I just wanted to be alone. I couldn't figure out what her deal was. Why did she do this? Did she like playing with my heart on purpose or what? Sirens flashed behind me and I soon had flashlights being shined on my face. The cops were wondering what the hell I was doing there. They checked me for drugs, guns, liquor, a prostitute...anything to maybe haul my ass in jail. I didn't have any of those things. I just told them I needed to think. They kinda scratched their heads and told me that they felt for me, but I would need to go think elsewhere. So I started the car up and drove home.

After this episode, my acting skills had already started to improve. I showed up at school the next day, looking like nothing wrong had happened. When my friends asked if we had really broken up, I gave em a shrug and passed it off as casually as I could. I even went out of my way to convince T that it was all good. After all, I did promise that none of this would get in the way of our friendship.

Months passed and the junior prom came. I hadn't planned to go cause proms and dances were never my thing, but everyone else was going so whatever, I decided to go. The day was coming fast and everyone else had already paired up. Only T and I were left dateless. So she asks me if I wanted to go "as friends".

I got a suit, a corsage and went to pick her up. I can still remember her mom chuckling at me cause my hands were shaking as I put the corsage on her wrist. T joked about putting it on herself cause otherwise we'd be late. Somehow, I managed to wrestle my tremors and get it on her and we went off to the prom. The details of the prom itself escape me. All I remember is the first dance. The speakers chimed out the opening tunes to Chicago's "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" as T and I walked to the dance floor. The rest of the world was shut out as we held each other in the Manila hotel's ballroom. Up to that point in my life, I'd never felt happier. I wanted to freeze that moment and just live there. It was electric. Even if we were "just friends".

(to be continued....)
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, September 26th, 2003

Subject:Case Study of a Fool - "T" part 1
Time:3:53 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:Evanescence - Going Under.
I met T during lunchbreak of Sophomore year. To tell you the truth, I didn't think much of T at first. I just figured that she was a cool person and would probably be a good friend and that was it. Then my stupid friend Gerald had to open his big mouth and say, "Hey you know, you two would look cute together". I quickly vetoed the idea in public, but inside, a thought started to grow.

Maybe he was right? I mean, we got along great and had developed into fast friends. Plus after closer inspection, she actually was pretty damn cute to boot. So there began the crush. I started offering to drive her home more often and finding any excuse to call her on the phone. One day I started showing up at school with poems which I'd let my friends read. She'd always ask me who they were about but I'd always give some lame excuse about a girl from outside of school that she didn't know. I think she caught on pretty quick cause I'm a lousy liar.

Nevertheless our friendship went on and she ended up becoming my best friend. At that point it stopped being just a crush on a cute girl who had potential to be a girlfriend. I started to really love her the more I got to know her. We were so close, I was convinced that she felt the same way I did about her. At this point I mustered up the courage to tell her how I felt.

Now I'm gonna break from the story a little to do some commentary. Isn't going from friend to something more the most awkward thing on the planet? I dunno, it is at least the way I did it. I mean, when you start dating someone for the purpose of seeing if you'd like to pursue a relationship, there's a set timeline. You know, you get their number, you go out to eat, maybe a movie, maybe some dancing or whatever and after you get to know them a little, you get intimate. When the person is already your friend though and you suddenly lay this Motzah ball out there, it's kind of like, "where do we go from here?" I mean, all of that other stuff has been done already in the context of being friends and you know each other really well already, so it's kind of like what, are we supposed to make out now? I dunno. It just makes for a real awkward situation. In hindsight, I guess the best thing to do would have been to subtly act on it instead of just laying it all down flatly like that. At least if you're subtle about it and get rejected, you can deny any attempt ever happened.

So back to the story. I told her and there was silence. Deafening silence. I wanted her to say something. Anything, but she just kinda sat there and thought about it. Finally, she gave me the ol, "I don't want to lose you as a friend" spiel. I feigned acceptance of her excuse and got the hell out of there. At that point, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die and the last person I wanted to talk to was her but she called as soon as I got home and we ended up talking the whole night.

So things went on as normal, at least on the surface. Inside, I felt like I was dying. I mean, here she was, someone I had been looking for all my life, right in front of me but she didn't want me back. To make matters worse, her crush on one of our other friends soon came to my knowledge. Now, I knew this guy and even before this all happened, I figured him to be about as shallow as a puddle of piss. I mean, seriously, he had no personality whatsoever. But he did have a pretty face. I guess some guys are just blessed that way. The rest of us have to form personalities out of necessity. As you can tell, I formed a deep hatred for this guy, even though he was oblivious to all of this. Didn't matter to me though. I started to think that he was the reason she turned me down. This bastard stood in the way of myself and happiness. I started to hate everything associated with him. He played Volleyball so I hated Volleyball. He drove a Miata so I hated Miata's (and still do to this day) etc etc.

It came to a head during one house party my friends had. We were all chilling in the living room and one by one, everyone left the room to go somewhere else. I myself went to the bathroom. As I made to go back to the living room, my friend stopped me, saying that we should all give T and pretty boy some time alone. I went numb. I can still rememebr the exact song playing at that moment. To this day, I still can't listen to that song which is ironic cause it was En Vogue's "Don't Let Go". It makes all the pain come rushing back when I hear it even if the lyrics applied to my situation at the time to a tee. I decided though, who was I to get in her way? If she was happy with pretty boy, then more power to her. There was no need for both of us to be miserable. I grabbed a bottle of tequila and drank myself unconscious in the backyard.

(to be continued......)
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, September 14th, 2003

Time:3:48 pm.
Mood:unbreakable.
This Chinese dude who's our house guest read my palm. Here are a few of the things he told me.

1. I am Unbreakable - Apparently, if I'm ever in a major car accident or a plane crash, I will always walk away unscratched. I'm not impervious to getting hurt or anything, but I'm just lucky when it cvomes to these things. Makes sense. I've never spent a day in the hospital in my life even after several near misses like my various car accidents and the jet ski accident. He attributes this to me having two people watching over me. As in, two ghosts, angels whatever you may call them. He said that most people don't even have one and I've got two. Cool shit. Most young people think they're immortal. In my case, I guess that's partially true. LOL

2. I'm very cautious - He said that I think about stuff, the ramifications for not only the present but also the past and the future whenever I do things or make decisions. Now this one I know is true. You guys probably have a sense of how neurotic I am from reading my blogs. Maybe my being over cautious all the time is the reason for my unbreakable-ness.

3. Almost Famous - He said that I'd be successful in most anything I do and that I'd be rich. Most importantly he said that if I took up an artistic career, then I'd also be famous. Woohoo! I guess my dream of being the first Filipino director to be a household name will come true. Heh.

4. Two Loves - I'm not clear if he said I'd have two wives or two loves in my life. I don't like the idea of getting divorced but then again I dunno if having only two loves would be good. I mean I've already used one up. Ah well. Heh.

So yeah, that's my future as laid out by my palms. Lots of salt being taken, but it's still kinda fun.
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 10th, 2003

Subject:Powder
Time:5:42 pm.
Mood:pale.
I am so freaking pale it's sad. I suppose this is one drawback of the Migs style of dressing. Since I'm always wearing baggy pants and some kind of sleeved shirt, my forearms and face are noticably darker than the rest of me. When I take off my shirt, it's like I'm wearing a white shirt with nipples. Hell, if I flex my arm and put my forearm up next to my biceps, you can totally see the difference in pigmentation. Gah, I need to get some sun. But I have this phobia about taking my shirt off in public. I just can't do it. Hell, I even wore a shirt for my first couple rolls in the sack.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, September 9th, 2003

Subject:Gag Reflex
Time:12:54 am.
Mood: thankful.
Music:Evanescence - My Last Breath.
It's a good thing I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) cause I think I'd make a lousy one. I was brushing my teeth today and while trying scrape my tongue clean I accidentally touched the back of my throat and proceeded to dry heave for ten seconds or so. I thought my eyes were gonna bug out. Like I could hear Arnold Schwarzenegger yelling, "Come on Cohagen! Give these people some ai-yuh!" It was that bad. So I'd obviously be no good at giving blowjobs.

So the gay guys of the world can breathe a sigh of relief. There's one less bad lay for them out there. Heh.
Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, September 7th, 2003

Time:10:05 pm.
Mood: contemplative.


Why don't people always stock extra rolls of toilet paper in their bathrooms? Whenever I invite people over, I make sure that the rolls are fresh and there are a couple extras in the drawers just in case. I'm a nice person like that. There's nothing worse than taking a crap at someone's house and then frantically rummaging through all the drawers in search of a refill roll only to come up with nothing. 

Do these people not take craps? How can they not store extra rolls in the bathroom? In desperation, you start rummaging in the trash for newspapers or discarded kleenex. Sure it's probably been used on a nose, but snot on your ass is better than skidmarks. Unless they've got SARS. Can SARS be transmitted anally? Hmm...probably no records of this. People aren't usually in the habit of sneezing on someone's ass. But I digress.

If you're in a Filipino house, you're usually in luck cause most Filipino bathrooms have little pails called "tabos" that you can use to pour water on your ass. When all else fails, and you're shit outta luck (pun intended), you can start stripping the empty toilet paper roll and hoping to get some usable scraps from it.

Also, it's ironic that when you're forced to use public toilets or toilets at a friend's house, it's not because you need to take a nice quiet and relatively odorless crap. It's because you've gotta take one of those nasty, loud dumps. You know what I'm talking about. The kind with all the gas explosions and splashing. The act itself is embarrassing enough, but to have live audio of your bowels echoing from the toilet is almost enough to make a person commit hari kari right there and then.


To this day my sister calls one of my friends "The Log Man" because he snuck into my bathroom for relief just before my sis sat down at my computer to check her E-mail. So he figured he was all alone while in reality, all that separated them was a very thin wall. So she's at the computer and all of a sudden, she hears a very loud "PLOOMP.....SPLASH" coming from the bathroom. Hehe. As he walked out he looked at her, turned red and muttered "Oh....excuse me" as he retreated to where the rest of us were hanging out.


Not all public craps are bad though. I remember this one time where I was forced to relieve myself. It was bliss I tell ya. Bliss. After washing up and breathing a sigh of relief, I walked out, thinking that the smell would have time to dissipate. Yet just as I'm walking out, my then-girlfriend goes "Leave the light on. I need to go too". I stood there dumbfounded, thinking that I should say something but before the words came out, she was in and the door was closed. 5 seconds later she nearly collapses out the door, gagging and punching me in the arm because I didn't warn her. LOL In those instances, craps are pretty funny cause you're comfortable enough with the other party to laugh about it.


I also enjoy walking into a public bathroom, start to piss and then all of a sudden hear a little squeek. It's pretty tough to contain the laughter when you look down and see a pair of shoes with the pants at the feet from under the little wall. People instinctively stop taking craps in public toilets when someone walks in for some reason. They probably think they can hold it till the interloper leaves. Yet there's always that rascally squeeky fart that gets away and alerts people of your presence. It's high comedy I tell ya. At least when you're on the outside of the stall.


Dying on the toilet is one of my other fears aside from slipping on a banana and being impaled by a chopstick. That's like the most vulnerable time of your life right there. If someone were to kick the door down and assault you, you'd not only be half naked, but your pants would be like leg cuffs and you'd have to worry about getting crap all over yourself.

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Subject:Blurty huh?
Time:2:43 am.
Mood: restless.
I've been blogging on Xanga since forever and I have a hard enough time finding enough interesting things to say to fill up one blog let alone two. Heh. So I'm guessing this place won't be getting too many updates. I dunno, maybe I'll make this my secret place where I can really let loose since just about everyone I know knows about my Xanga.
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Blurty for Migs.

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