| Flip me over. |
[09 Feb 2005|04:43pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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Friends on TV |
] |
I haven't updated in years!! Kerry pointed it out to me. I left my phone at some guys house last night...Makes me upset. I don't want to go back there and get it.
I'm not in a very good mood..Last night wasn't good at all and I really don't want to talk about it. Blah blah..
I think I should just officially move to livejournal. I never update here anymore..Blurty's kinda dead now..in my opinion.
Hmm hmm..I'm hungry. Later.......
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| "Uh, you're undercharging me.".."No I'm not. I'm overcharging you." |
[24 Jan 2005|05:21pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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underoath |
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AHHH!
I'm still alive. Don't worry. It's been like..a week since I've updated. I think I'm getting sick. Again. My throat kinda hurts. Meh. I don't know what to say.
I slept a lot last night. A LOT. Like 17 hours. It was to make up for that complete lack of sleep I got over the weekend. Yes, I partied. Meh, it wasn't so bad. I'm definitely not cut out for doing that every weekend. haha.
Hmm. I was at the store yeseterday..uh. Target. And I was looking at all the little baby clothes with my friend. And then we were wanting a baby. And then I realized what just happened, and how crazy it was. So we left that department before we ended up buying baby clothes or whatever. Meh. I don't want a baby. I don't want a baby.
hahahaha.
Thought I'd share.
But now I'm going to eat. I'll try to update more often..sheesh. I used to good at that..
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| The problems just got worse. |
[13 Jan 2005|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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Something Corporate |
] |
So, I'm back. How many people missed me?
I think I want a boyfriend. Eek. Maybe not boyfriend boyfriend. Just.....I want someone better than the last guy. Cause he hurt me, and still is hurting me. I need to get over him, but..it's kind of hard when there's no one else there to avert my attention to. All the other guys that are interested in me are his friends. And so..that makes me think of him. I need someone who...has never even heard of him.
I'm too good for him. He's an ass, and I don't want to talk about him, but..yeah. Guess I'm shit out of luck then, cause that seems to be what I am talking about. Ooh, I want a guy to write a song about me. And not one of those, "you're a whore, i hope you die. it's okay, i never loved you anyway" songs...you know what I'm talking about.
Meh..and boy problems are only part of what I've been going through lately. People should comment cause I've missed it for the last like.....week? something. yeah. But the computer screen in giving me a headache, so I'm going to go. I've missed you guys♥
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[06 Jan 2005|12:59pm] |
my heart hurts.
i might be taking a little break from this thing. i don't know. bye.
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| Guess our little friend never learned the "dodge" part of dodge ball. |
[05 Jan 2005|04:42pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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Recess on TV :) |
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I'm so motherfucking hungry. What a great way to start this out. I don't know when I last updated this because I haven't checked, but it feels like awhile. I'm moving...somewhere. To parts unknown. It's fucking scary. But yeah. Uh, if you're reading this, tell me where to move to.
Hmm. I don't know why I update this if I have nothing to say, but we'll see where this goes..sounds fun. Is it possible to get sick of Northstar? haha. God, this is going to be a random post. Feel free to ignore.
I talked to this kid in a band today:) That made me happy. It's so fun talking to them because it's like they have no...musical outlet. Like nobody to listen to them talk about their sets and their music and all that jazz. And I don't mind hearing it...
My brother is..lazy. Yes. And that annoys me so so much. Kinda miss my mom. I mean, she's still here and all..but. blah whatever.
Lately, I've been very..academic? I don't think that's the right word, but I've been reading a lot of my old text books and my brothers old books and watching documentaries in different languages...I don't even know why. Like, I have no real motivation to do so. haha
I'm going to go get some much needed food. Mm-hm. laterrr
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| I need someone to knee him in the balls. |
[02 Jan 2005|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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Dead Poetic |
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Bold applies to me.
i'm obsessed with new things.
i'm the youngest child.
i am a shopaholic.
i wear black eyeliner.
i can't live without chapstick.
i can't live without music.
i lived in tahoe.
i spend all the money i have.
i'll be in college for over 4 years.
i love designer handbags.
i get annoyed easily.
i eventually want kids.
i love the backstreet boys.
i have more than a couple of horrible memories
i like to watch degrassi.
i am a person.
i've lived in more than one house in my life.
i have a boyfriend.
I think friends are a priority.
I like spinach.
I am loyal.
i think mean people should get what's coming to them.
i love taking pictures.
i hate people who are fake.
i can be mean when i want to.
my dreams are bizarre.
i have way too many pairs of shoes.
i've seen she's all that at least 50 times.
i dress how i feel that day.
i love charmed.
sometimes i cry for almost no reason.
I hate when people are ridiculously late.
i procrastinate
I hate rumors.
winter is my favorite season.
i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
i love to sleep.
i wish i was smarter.
i am the hottest bachelorette..
i have a lot of drama.
no one knows the full story of my life..
i love my hair.
i sometimes fight with my parents.
i like the beach.
i have had the chicken pox.
i'm excited for the future.
i can't control my emotions.
i love to make fun of mtv reality shows.
christmas is my favorite holiday.
i can be very insecure sometimes.
i have had a broken bone.
i hate ignorant people.
i love my laptop.
i like guys that play the guitar.
i state the obvious.
i'm a happy person.
i love to sing.
i hate cleaning my room.
i tend to get jealous very easily.
i like to play video games.
i love john mayer.
i hate when i see animals/people getting abused.
i'm a vegetarian.
ive never cheated on a test.
i love playdoh
i am too forgiving.
i have a good sense of direction.
i love high school...i did while i was in it.
i have a talent of sweet talking my way out of things.
i love the color pink.
i don't sew.
i am not addicted to drugs.
i like the olsen twins.
ive been on a softball team.
i become stressed easily.
i like comfy sweatpants.
i love shaggy hair on guys
i love the smell of fresh laundry
i get confused easily.
i like to write in black ink better than with blue.
my hair is naturally curly
i bite my nails.
i made cookies tonight.
i don't like swimming.
i want to be 5 again.
i wish i could go back in time for so many things.
i want to travel someday.
i can remember useless stuff but never anything relevant.
i have a pet cat.
i am 16.
i am a morning person
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| So, if I twirl it this way, you'll go out with me? |
[01 Jan 2005|07:11pm] |
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mood |
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hahaha |
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music |
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some awesome band that i should know the name of |
] |
Today=weird. I went to a party last night..just a local one because of the damn snow. But, yeah. It was good. Yeah..Personally though, I think New Years is overrated. But ahh. There were sooo many parties even though nobody could get to them. If I wasn't drunk, I would've spent some time wondering how the hell people got to them since the roads were undrivable. But I was at a friend of a friends house..Uh..Mike, I believe. Ha, you guys don't care. But that place was soo incredibly loaded with alcohol; it was crazy. They had some pretty shitty beer though...um yes. I don't think anyone payed attention to the television on in the backround. My loser friends had it on MTV..so every once in awhile, I'd catch some retarded rap artist rapidly shaking his hand to some beat that I couldn't hear because thankfully the music was louder than the TV. Hm. And I remember some guy came running up to me telling me that Lacey was vomiting in the back and needed me...I don't know a Lacey. Ha. I don't think he got the girls name right but ah well. Yeah, I don't remember what I said to him though. Then Nikki called me, which shocked me because I thought she was at the same party as me, but guess not lol. But she said, "Get your ass into town because my balls are going to drop in FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!!" hahahaha..I seriously couldn't stop laughing..and no one knew why I was laughing..yeah. That's like the last thing I remember haha. Then I woke up at like 1 something because Matt called me and he said I sounded hungover. I woke up on the floor in front of the couch with one of the couch coushions on top of me..ha. And my hand was up on the couch on the guy sleeping on it..haha. My hand was like..gripping his thigh. I have no idea how I got into this position. Fun to picture though, right? But I think I was still a little drunk..whatever. There were like ten people who stayed the whole night...or rather, chose that house to pass out in. I was the first one up [I hate that], so I turned on the music somewhat loud to wake them up...then jumped on this one guys bed and woke him up, then he helped me wake everybody else up. Then we watched Scarface. Awesome movie, by the way. But it was funny because we were all either hungover or still drunk...yeah. So..ha. Um yes. That's what I have to say. Matt wouldn't stop calling me today..I hope Jay had a fun-filled new years. ............The end.
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| So, this is the new year? |
[31 Dec 2004|02:16pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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Silverstein--November |
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Godd..I dare someone to tell me that Silverstein sucks. Go ahead. Sooo..um. It's New Year's Eve. I bet everyone is going to party. Yep yep. That's what I had planned, but then the sky decided to dump a shitload of snow all over..So, driving ANYWHERE is a little too much to ask. Heh. So, I don't know what I'm doing. Seriously..like all the businesses are closed because people can't get into work. We're advised not to even drive at all today. Whoo..way to fuck up my day. Not like I'm particularly keen on driving in this shit..'specially with my dumbass car. I can see it now. It starts off okay, fills me with hope. Then it happens. The car dies on some highway. If I'm lucky, I'll actually have my cell in order to call a tow truck. Buuut, they said that it'll take TEN FUCKING HOURS for tow trucks to get to wherever you are today. So. Yeah. I'm sooo not driving. But hopefully some 4wheeled friend of mine will pity me and pick me up:)
H A P P Y. .N E W. .Y E A R
It's really strange how people misinturperet things. Like..I don't even know exactly what I'm referring to, but there's no way around it. Even if you flat-out tell them. I think I should stop talking or else I'll never stop.
Have a good new year & DON'T DRINK & DRIVE.
Love to my fwends. ♥
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| i believed every single lie you said |
[28 Dec 2004|06:17pm] |
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mood |
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..........stfu |
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music |
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my birthday=worst birthday EVER so far.
and no. i don't want to talk about it.
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| "On this exact day..years & years ago, ...you were born!" |
[26 Dec 2004|10:52am] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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Daphne Loves Derby |
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Wowzers. Feels like it's been awhile since I've updated..Well, I got a lj so maybe that's it. Hey guess what?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
So, yeah..leave me comments about how much you love me and shtuff. I'll tell you how my day goes. Because, I hear it's supposed to be super grand:)
Love you all♥
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| You made all these promises. You broke these promises to me. |
[19 Dec 2004|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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infuriated |
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music |
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Silverstein-November |
] |
[Mom:] Like father, like daughter.
[Me:]...what?
[Mom:] You're just like your father.
Okay. Me & the mom just had a.."tiff." But..God..Okay, you don't say that ^^. Blah blah..I don't even know what to say about that. I don't know what to think about it. I still can't believe she even said that. Yeah, you guys might not see what's the big deal with her saying something like that to me...but it's a big fucking deal.
Let's see if I can take my mind off it. It's 8:30, & I haven't done anything. I'm pretty sure that I was supposed to do something with Rese, but that has yet to happen. And that makes me sad. I wanted to see her.
I saw Booger on Thursday. It was good. But, now he's not too talkative. I hate that. Bleh..
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| Will I ever get home? |
[19 Dec 2004|03:19am] |
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mood |
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headache |
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music |
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from first to last |
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| This winter is lasting forever. At least for tonight. |
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| maybe if i'm lucky, i'll get drunk and forget your fucking face |
[18 Dec 2004|07:05pm] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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music |
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Northstar |
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[me:] I asked you & you said you didn't. why didn't you ever tell me?
[Jay:] because I know how much you hate smokers.
[me:] I hate liars even more.
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom. It was so fucked up because we don't get along..or, you know, talk. So for us to do something..together. It was just fucked up. Then we went out to lunch, and we weren't talking, and I was telling her to say something because the silence was killing me. And all she kept saying was, "What do you want me to say?" So, then I was just rambling about some shit about Bosnia (don't ask haha). Then she decided to start talking. About the last thing I would ever want to know about. I don't want to talk about it. That put me in the worst mood. Ugh..It really made me angry. Ha, y'all are wondering what she said. But then I would have to explain everything...and I just don't want to. Don't hurt me.
Last night sucked. Majorly.. So yeah. Ha. I have nothing to say. I hate when that happens. I don't think I've talked to my mom since last night. When the night sucked. Talked to Booger a little bit ago. I don't think he was in a good mood. Ha, this morning at like 8, I called Brian. Just because I was bored as hell. Then he said he was glad cause he was bored as hell too. Nikki!! Um, yes. I got to talk to her today as well. It was good. Then I'm supposed to help Jay with some sort of money thing, so we were talking about that. Fascinating. That's basically what's happened to me today. That and sleep. Because sleep is swell. But I'm kind of hungry..Yeah. I need comments. This thing feels lonely to me.
( because surveys are fun )
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| I just want to close my eyes and picture myself in your arms. |
[16 Dec 2004|12:14am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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the early november<3 |
] |
I love Brian.
Today was a very blah day. But the night was good. I got to see Brian..for like five minutes, but still.. Ah, well. My mom has been gone all week. It's been nice. But she gets home tomorrow, and to say she hasn't been missed by me would be putting it mildly.
Matt has been calling me everyday. ..I didn't mind it at first, but..I don't know. It's a problem I have. Guys come off as way too clingy for me and it annoys me and end up brushing them off.
Booger IMed me today. I was surprised because it's usually me initiating conversation between us. We didn't talk for very long..but it kind of reassured me that he was the one to start talking to me. He makes me crazy/happy/frustrated/miserable/excited...but it's not love. Yet. He's fickle so it's hard to know where I stand with him.
I miss Ashley!! She's in Mexico City..bleh come back! I miss talking to you, love. Seriously. I love, love, love you! <333 Tell me what you want for Christmas!
It doesn't feel like Christmas. At all. I miss when I was younger..Christmas was like..magical back then.
Holy crap!..I was talking to Rese the other day. I haven't talked to her in like two months! It's insane. I miss her to the maximum. We had some good times back at the beginning of the year..haha yeah. Good memories with her. But then everything with Liz happened..and that kind of broke us apart. But..we made plans for the weekend. I'm not holding my breath though. My plans always fall through. But I love her.
I miss my brother. We still talk and see eachother and everything. But he's..different now. He smokes and is all up in drugs and shit. He's the most important person in my life, always has been. He's so much better than what he's making himself out to be; so much smarter than that shit. I love him so much..blah. That depresses me.
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| You make me want a bologna sandwhich. |
[12 Dec 2004|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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Last night was funnnn! I went up to Jay's for the party..So many people there. Ha, I met this kid, Matt. He's funny. I think he likes me..it's fun. Yes. And I met this other kid..but for the life of me I can't remember his name. I find that sad because we were talking for fucking ever last night...but I don't know his name! And I found out that he actually lives in the same area as me..but I don't know his name! Brian was there..it was a fun night. I wasn't expecting it to turn out that way because going there wasn't my original plan. But a stupid boy with whom I had plans with stood me up.
But before that, Donna called me and we were talking for awhile. It's been awhile since I've actually heard her voice. I hate that she had to move halfway across the country. I miss her.
Blah and tonight sucks...Matthew called me and we talked..and that's about all that's happened.
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| You make it seem like I did something wrong. |
[09 Dec 2004|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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The Early November |
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Yeahhh, so I'm still sick. I think I have the flu because I'm all sore and shit. It's sooo fun though. Really. I just watched Peter Pan..good movie. The animated one of course. I have nothing to update..how sad. It's because I've been in bed for the past two-ish days..
I'm talking to Brian right now. He makes me smile :] But..I hope I get better by this weekend because I have plans and I don't want them to not happen. Okay, I think it's time for me to stop talking.
Fill this out, or else I'll stop liking you. And I know one of the comments will be from Connor! I <3 you, Connor, but all that goes away if you don't fill this out for me.
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
Mm, and that shall be all. I'm out.
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| I want to hate you so bad |
[08 Dec 2004|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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Still sick..hasn't changed |
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music |
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The Matches |
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I've never been one to trust. I don't trust you, I hope you know that. The only reason I keep coming back to you is because I know I never will. I know I'll never trust you. Because it's safe. Because I can't love you if I can't trust you. And I don't want to love you..To be completely honest, I'm afraid of loving you. Of loving you and you breaking my heart. But how come even when I'm not in love with you, you're still breaking my heart? How come even when I don't trust you, it always comes back to you? I hope you know that this is about you. I hope you know what you're doing to me. This is the closest I'll ever get to telling you, just please don't disregard the sentiment. Yeah, I've never been one to trust. Tell me why I should start with you.
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| and if things aren't better by tomorrow morning, i'll pack my bags and skip the goodbyes |
[07 Dec 2004|06:14pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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So, I'm sick. Yeah, it's fun. I'm like sore everywhere and I have a fucking fever. And my throat feels..not normal. I was just laying in bed all day..feeling horrible. Blah, I hate being sick. I need a sick boy *cough cough* to come over and lay in bed with me. Because he's sick too.
Right now, I'm watching Meet The Parents. Yeah, it's comforting....hmm.not really. I need to feel better. Because this is ..lame. Sickness sucks. Don't ever try it.
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| and if you say this makes you happy, then i'm not the only one lying |
[06 Dec 2004|01:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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mad at my mom |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Flo |
] |
Crap. I was supposed to go do community service today, but I didn't wake up on time. But yesterday, I had to wake up at 6! Six o'clock on a Sunday! Who does that? I went shopping. And apparently, there are no malls here so we travel three hours. ..On a Sunday. Sooo tired.
Blah..and I was supposed to hang with Brian. He wasn't mad though, but I felt bad:\ I haven't talked to Jay in uhh..I'm thinking a week. Or something. Don't know why it's so important, but now I want to know....
Ah, anyways, I think I'm going to go fit in about two hours of community service.
Later lovelies.
p.s.-Comment if you love me
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| and it'll be just like you were never gone |
[04 Dec 2004|09:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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emotionally drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the postal service |
] |
Ugh, I'm so tired right now. I just spent about two hours crying. There's only one person who can make me hurt so bad that I cry and cry until there's absolutely nothing left. My mother. I don't even know what to do anymore. Or if I even want to do anything anymore about our relationship..lack of relationship. My eyes hurt, and I just want to sleep.
But...I don't want this to be the end. Oh well...I think it really is. This isn't normal; it isn't supposed to be this way. I feel like I have to work at it to recieve her love. I don't know if it's me, or if it's her, us both. If you couldn't already tell, I don't like talking about this kind of thing. That's why I'm not too much with the details. It just feels like I'm drowning in my stupid, little need to have her love me.
I was supposed to go up and see Brian tonight, I think. But looks like that's not going to happen. I don't know what kind of company I would be. It probably would do me good to get out and be with people that aren't my mom, but...
I just want to sleep. I want to go to sleep, and wake up where everything's okay.
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