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Monday, November 3rd, 2003
4:02 pm - Luck has fallen upon me once again
I called Jenn like I said I would on Holloween, she told me that everything went fine for her and her friends but on the way home Scott and Kurt hit a deer. Kurts car was tore up really baddly in the front and both of the guys were really shook up about it. Jenn told me she was going to stay home with scott and understood her meaning totally, I wouldn't leave if something like that were to happen to my dad or anybody I cared about. I left a note with dad and went over there and we all watched movies for the rest of the night. I was happy to find out that both Kurt and Scott were okay and the only one hurt in the process was the deer. It was really sad that the deer got hit but it's good to know that Kurt and Scott were okay still.

current mood: grateful
current music: The Doors - Soul Kitchen

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Friday, October 31st, 2003
6:30 pm - The Witching Hour
~~~~HAPPY HOLLOWEEEN!!!!!!!~~~~
I hope Jenn has fun tonight with Marc, Mindy, Sawn and Angela. Same with Kurt and Scott and the guys that are going with them. Dad told me he has a date so he's going to be leaving soon. And me, well I'm going to stay here I rented a few movies and bought some popcorn and I'm all set now all I need is someone to watch with me..... Eh oh well I'll just call Jenn at 10 and see if she's home yet. If she is then I'll ask if she wants to join me and then we can watch the movies together.

current mood: energetic
current music: Creedence Clear Water Revial - I Put a Spell on You

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Thursday, October 30th, 2003
2:28 pm - Sharp dressed chick
I stopped by Jenns yesterday after she got out of school, I have to say that when she goes to school she dresses like she's going to get a job. We she has the nice black slacks (though hers have little plastic diamonds going down the sides) and the button-up shirt that screams, "Look at me I am an independent woman that needs afection and a chance to show the world that I can do something!" I'm not used to it, she normally dresses in jeans and a t-shirt. I guess college is a big thing to her, but why wouldn't it, it's only going to get her to where she needs to be in life. I can't believe that tomorrow she's going out and not going to take me with her! I have to sit at home a pass out candy to all the kids in the neigborhood. Kurt wants me to join him, Scott and a few guys but I just don't want to bother. They're going out to this huge party way out in the country and I'm just not in the mood to be surrounded by a bunch of people that I don't know.

current mood: devious
current music: Nirvana - In Bloom

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Friday, October 24th, 2003
9:54 am - Happy is only this far away
I called my Grandma this morning, and wished her a happy birthday. She's not happy she said that her son and grandson could at least have come back home to see her. Sometimes I wish she understood that we don't have the money to come back to Germany every year. We do go back every 4 years just to see family and friends we have since I was young and I think we will continue to do so till we can't. We usually spend two weeks there enough time to see family and friends and see what has changed since we left. I think the next time we go I will take Jenn along with me. She has German heritage and I think she would love it. Besides I have so many things to show her that she wouldn't have time to feel like she was homesick or miss anyone. I don't think I would know what to show her first I would probably get so crazy over thinking about what to show her or tell her about first that I would end up forgeting to do anything... Nah I wouldn't do that, more like run her throught every great part of Germany and hope she gets to see it all in amazement.

current mood: anxious
current music: Operation Ivy - Big City

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Monday, October 20th, 2003
7:37 am - Good to be over it
I've been better for a couple days and glad about that too! Yesterday Jenn and I went through our photo albums. I told her it would be better to look through them at her house. Besides nobody will beable to embarrass us there since her mom works and Randy (her moms boyfriend) doesn't care what goes on so long as he gets his sleep. Jenn liked the idea and so we both averted horrible embarrassment from family. We both showed off pictures from what was then showbiz pizza and is now chuckie cheese and talked about how much we missed the way everything was back then at that kids place. I got to see her infamous santa pictures and then the Holiday World pictures. She saw all my pictures from when my dad and I lived in Germany and all the things that happened in my life before we moved to America. Now I am thankful that my dad and I had to move here, if it wasn't for moving here I would never have met Jenn and I would still be miserable. At least now I am happy to know Jenn and hope that she will soon show me that she loves me just as much as I show that I love her.

current mood: thankful
current music: AFI - Girls Not Grey

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
10:30 am - Still sick
Yeah I still have that damned flu bug but at least it's not as bad. Jenn came to see me yesterday and helped my dad out all day. She brought me a card and a lil bear that said get well soon, they were really thoughtful. I hope that she doesn't get sick because of me. I know it sucks being sick so I don't want her to suffer like I have been. She told me that Marc's making plans all ready for holloween. I know what my job is before I even bother asking. I am on candy dutie. I get to see all the great and horrid costumes of all the little kids. At least I can dress up and enjoy part of my time. I'm glad that we don't get that many trick-or-treaters here so I'll get to keep most of the candy that we've bought to give to the kids. Since I've been sick I took the time to look throught my photo albums and I found a bunch of old photos from me and Jenn and then there were all the family photos too. Ones I wish were never taken, ones that are nice, some that are cute, and others that should be burned you name it I know about it or have had it taken. Jenn and me are going to share pictures sometime soon so that we can both embarrass each other, heh isn't that nice. I think my only problem is going to be my dad telling Jenn all my embarrassing childhood stuff.

current mood: embarrassed
current music: Adam Sandler - Red Hooded Sweatshirt

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Sunday, October 12th, 2003
8:02 am - Flu Suxs
I made plans to see Jenn today but today I have to stay home I cant' do anything! All cause I have that stupid flu bug that's going around. And to make things worse my dads got it too. Heh, he's taking it better than I am though he's at least doing things around the house and singing some old 60's tunes. I am stuck to sit and pout and wait this whole mess out till I get better. Oh well at least I can call Jenn and let her know why we can't do anything. She told me yesterday on the phone that she was going to try and find a Church to start going to. I might start going too I haven't been to our church in a few weeks but I've also been doing other things. I know everybody tells me but it's not more important than God. Only he and I know what's been going on and I know he understands except for one Sunday but that's not to say I won't make up for missing that day. Anyway I have to get off of here I am beginning to feel worse just sitting here.

current mood: sick
current music: Jars of Clay - Blind

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Wednesday, October 8th, 2003
7:59 am - Fall Fun
The festival was great, we rode a few rides, I won a poster for Jenn and then we had a bite to eat and went home. I have never been a person who liked large bunched up groups of people and Jenn is clostrophobic so we didn't feel the need to stay very long. We did take the time to ride almost everyride once with the exception of riding the Ferris Wheel twice we sat there looking over the town from the car we sat in it was wonderful. We were lucky it didn't rain the whole time we were down there. We walked past a few of the cars that had the throw a dart get a poster deal and got a Yu-Gi-Oh! poster for Jenn. She smiled and thanked me for it. After that we got a couple texas tenderloins and ate them in the car just so we wouldn't have to deal with all the people that were looking for a place to eat too. It was great and after we got done there we headed to Jenns house. We sat out on her front porch and talked for a little bit till she had to go inside. I really felt like we were going somewhere and I hope that with time Jenn and I will go back to being in a relationship like we once had.

current mood: loved
current music: Pearl Jam - Do the Evolution

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Monday, October 6th, 2003
12:30 am - Yesterday
I talked to Jenn yesterday we talked about us and I think that we are going places. I want her to open up to me, like she did before. I think that I have been away for too long, I haven't really spoken to her since April, and we last ended on a sour note, because I was pushing her to come back to me. Me and her a set up to go out on Tuesday and I think I'm going to treat her to something nice, or something simple that she likes either way I'll let her decide. I was taken when I saw her yesterday, with her olive green long skirt, her white button up shirt and her casual sandals that made her look that much more like a beautiful flower. I was surprised to see that she dyed her hair, she went from blonde to black, she says it's part of her trying to go back to her normal hair color. I wanted to tease her and call her Rinoa or Kagome, but I chose to hold back. She went back to school and is studing computers, sounds like it's going to be a lot of work. I'm happy just working for Alex's dad. My dad said that I could do better than that, but I like working on cars, it's fun once you get past the beat up knuckles. My dad that is one strong guy, he is one who works so hard just to stay alive, he had a heart problem, a couple years ago and he almost lost his life, he was very lucky. I stay with him because I don't want him to live alone and I don't want to feel bad if he gets sick and noone is there to help him, this way I am there and he can depend on me. He wants me to be with Jenn too, more than anybody I know. He thinks shes something special.

current mood: determined
current music: Jerry Cantrel - My Song

(Release my sweet disposition.)

Sunday, October 5th, 2003
4:50 am - Super Game Sunday
No I'm not talking about Football, however, that is a good game too. Chris, me and some other guys are getting together at Scott and Jenn's place today, we're literally going to have a face off, on who can beat who at what games. We are all taking our playstation games to Scott and Jenn's house to play them all day. We do this around the start of each season we've done it since we were kids I think. Well I know Scott, Jenn and Marc have. I heard that Marc quit playing video games so it's not going to be as interesting. I am on pick up crew this season, so I have to go get everybody. Daniel, Kurt, Sam and Nick stayed over at my dad's with me last night so I don't have to pick them up thankfully. Alex is going to take her own car. Jimmi, is going to be late because he went out drinking with Jon last night and passed out at Jons house. Adam and Andi have their annaversary to celebrate so they won't be showing up. I don't think I'm going to get used to them being lovers. Eric and the other Scott are arriving together. Man the only people I have to pick up are Zach, Evan and Jordan. I am going to try to talk with Jenn more personally. I hope we can go out to the festival this week. I want to win her something or get her a goldfish. Oh well I've got some people to go pick up so I'll end this for now.

current mood: chipper
current music: Cold - Stupid Girl

(Release my sweet disposition.)

1:40 am - Jenn
I started this journal, to keep track of a few friends, and to keep in touch with my ex-girlfriend. I hope that in keeping track of my life I can also get back to what I care about most. I know this sounds stupid and ridiculous but to me she is my everything. I love her more than words. I also have to admit to her that I messed up really bad, and prove my love is true. I don't care if she hates me no matter what I am still going to love her. Jenevieve you might not know it now, you might not know it ever, but I know you know how you feel, I just wish you could know how I feel everytime you tell me no.

current mood: crushed
current music: Bush - Swallowed

(Release my sweet disposition.)



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