Weee.....   
01:48pm 22/08/2003
 
mood: bored
music: Andrew WK
I copied this from Lori's journal. What can I say? I'm hella bored right now and have time to kill.

currently--
date: August 22, 2003
time: 1:49 PM
watching: My rottweiler trying to steal my food.
hearing: Andrew WK - "I Get Wet"
thinking: I hope Krista goes with me tonight so I won't have to go alone.
wearing: Made shirt, black dickie pants and white and silver adidas superstars.
hair: unwashed, unbrushed, uncombed. lol
eating: McDonalds
drinking: Dr. Pepper
hating: Two loud mouth neighborhood bitches who keep talking shit.
wanting: Tony Lovato in my bed, right fucking now. haha Okay so not really or REALLY? lmao

Okay, I have to finish getting ready, I have two hour drive and blah blah....

Hi you all! Where the fuck is my comment love? haha
 
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"I'll find someone new..."   
03:08pm 21/08/2003
 
mood: blank
music: "Swing Swing" - AAR
Tomorrow is the Drive Thru tour and I will be there. I'm excited I need to go to a show again so this is great.
I'm pretty well over the whole Troy thing. I mean he'll always be my friend because we're really close and he still comes around constantly wanting more than just to be friends but I tell him, I don't know.

I'm not about to give anyone false hope or guarantees so I just don't know but right now, I doubt I'll ever take him back because I'm not dealing with the tears and hurt anymore, you know?

Went to Stooges the other night and played pool with Kristen and this dude named Brian.

I watched my little neice start her very first day of school the other day.

I've been hanging out a lot with Krista, which is this younger girl who lives two doors down. She's so funny, I'm trying to get her to go to the show with me tomorrow and I adopted her as my younger sister. lol

My dog is still chewing up everything and leaving giant messes. I woke up this morning with stuffing all over me and the bed and the dog has chewed a giant hole in my pillow. Argh!

I need to do laundry and bathe and shit.

Oh and I finally saw Freddy vs Jason the other night with Kristen, Krista, Karli and a dude named Tim. I loved it but I was not pleased with the outcome. Not fair, I'm a Freddy fan but we all know in the sequel he'll come back and kick some ass.

I've been neglecting my journal, so you all have to keep me in check and make me update. lol

I hate he said she said dramatic shit in my neighborhood
 
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"I'll go wherever I know that you won't go..."   
12:36pm 08/08/2003
 
mood: crushed
music: "Just Don't Need This" - Sugababes
What's wrong with me? I'm still really upset and hurt by the whole Troy situation.
I couldn't even sleep last night, I cried and cried and for what? It's not like it will change anything that happened.
I just keep finding out more and more about him when we were still together, shit he done that just makes me feel even more like shit.

Why do guys do that crap and then look you in the eye, lie to your face and run after anything with boobs?

Sheesh, why do I even bother?

Why do I still continue to waste my tears on a guy who treated me like shit?

I'm a pathetic waste of a chick.
 
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"This lady's gonna walk..."   
09:30pm 07/08/2003
 
mood: lonely
music: "No Man No Cry" - Sugababes
So it's now finally, after 9 months of tears and heart ache, I am single again.
I had my suspicions but I caught Troy and his lies and without a doubt he had been cheating on me with more than one person god only knows how many times.
I must admit I'm feeling a bit heart broken over this and I've cried out a lot of tears and even tried to lie to myself thinking that I should believe him even when I caught him myself basically.
Now, after much discussion and a lot of thinking, I'm a fool for giving him my heart and for continueing to try to trust him knowing inside what he was doing but wanting to believe him when he told me that he loved me and he swore he wasn't with anyone else.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust another guy ever again. I keep getting burned and the hurt, the anger, the feelings of being played. I never want to feel like this ever again.

I just want someone faithful and honest with me, I want someone who's going to say they love me and actually mean it. Someone who's not going to break my heart. I don't believe in a prince charming but if there is a kind of guy like the fairy tales, I'd like him to sweep me away and allow me to parade him in front of the lying, cheating asshole that I thought was the one.

I'm bitter, I'm angered, I'm hurt and I'm pissed off and all I want is to feel better.

At least without a boyfriend now, I have no reason to be hurt or cry even though I know it's his loss and not mine because I can do better than that, even if my heart thought no one was better.
 
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I'm a dick, I'm addicted to you...   
12:09am 01/08/2003
 
mood: discontent
music: Simple Plan
I'm going skating tomorrow night with my nephew, trying to get Lisa to go with me.
Haven't been skating in ages, so it will be fun I hope.

My burn is blistering, my sister said it doesn't look real good.

Uhm, my cousin is in the hospital on life support and her brain is swelling.

Finally talked to Chris for the first time since we were like 15-16.

He came over and asked me why I never talk to him, I told him it was because I never knew it was him until after he walked off because he looks a lot different then when we were younger and best friends.
So we talked about memories for a while and reminisced.

Kristen came over today to show me her new car, it's really sporty and flashy and I feel cool in it. haha

Uhm, I'm moving back to Orlando, sooner than later hopefully.
 
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Ouch...   
02:30pm 30/07/2003
 
mood: sore
music: Nothing
Home from Florida.

Man, I already miss the balcony and the sound of the fountain, very relaxing.
I ran out of time on my AOL prepaid crap, but I'll be back on my account tonight, I'm at my sister's house right now taking hers over for a bit.

Yesterday Manda and I went to eat at Friday's, and then we went to the mall to kill time before I had to be at the airport.
Poor Molly, her shoulders look bad, I hope you feel better dude, my sister said to go to the doctors when I told her how it looked.
My back is blistered like a mofo, pain... lots of pain... next time I go out in the sun, you can bet I'll be loading on the sunblock.

It was good to see Manda again, I only get to see her like once a year and all. LOL And I've known her for ages.

I had a lot of fun with the girls. Molly and I always have fun together, and the NY girls, I thought they'd find me really annoying for the most part, but I think we clicked really well, which rocked. We had a lot of fun and did some mad crazy stuff that was just hilarious.

So now I'm back home, back into the reality of my dull and pathetic existance.

I came home to found out my cousin is in the hospital and she's not doing so well.
It seems like there is always something going on, whether it be drama or trauma or something.
I just wish I could get a break for a while.

Wrote a new song this morning after my prepaid card expired. LOL It's pretty cool, so far so good and well that is all I suppose.

And words of wisdom, the sun is not your friend.
 
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12:24pm 27/07/2003
  We're all in pain. Sun is painful. We've been spraying solarcrain like it's friggin air freshner on us and around us and so on.
Last night we went out to City walk and they took the recording thing out, I was so dissappointed, I wanted to sing. LOL
Then we went to Margaritaville and I had a strawberry daquiri which was really good, and then we went to Friday's and I had some potato skins and then we came back and went swimming, it was like 1-2 AM and then we come back in and I fell asleep watching Zoolander.
I'm going home on the 29th I guess, I love Orlando, I'm eventually moving back here but man am I going to miss this place.
 
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Warped and beyond...   
12:29pm 26/07/2003
 
mood: amused
Memorable Moments from Warped

[x] My chain wallet getting fucked up.
[x] Bottled water being outrageously expensive.
[x] The mist tent.
[x] Simple Plan.
[x] Tony Lovato without a shirt.
[x] Andrew WK's kick ass set.
[x] Tony Lovato without a shirt.
[x] Overheating and running through the crowd gagging and throwing up.
[x] Falling asleep by the buses.
[x] Getting majorly Sunburnt.
[x] Whining about being sunburnt.
[x] The girl I rocked out with during Mest.
[x] The kickass girls I went to Warped with.
[x] Tim Armstrong without a shirt.
[x] Tony Lovato
[x] Meeting Simple Plan
[x] Tony Lovato, again.

And well, that's enough. A lot of great things happened as well as a lot of painful things (sun, heat) but I don't feel like typing it all out. Tomorrow is our next Warped show, and well we're still not full recovered from the last one so we're going to have a lot of fun.

Last night we went to this little run down theatre and watched this play/skit thing. Kind of like a SNL thing, too fucking amusing. I thought it would suck but it was really friggin' great and the little guy with the big package rocked. haha

Okay, so there's my journal update.

Having a lot of fun in Orlando still, the four of us really seem to click which rocks because it's nothing but random, silly moments.
Yesterday in the mall, we played in the photo booths randomly flashing the camera. haha How crazy is that? So now we all have really amusing photos left over from that.

The other night Molly took us to a real pub, it was cool. There was some band playing singing cover songs. We drank a little and then we went on to a place called Cheers. I just wanted to hear "Norm" when we all walked in.
It's been fun, now we're watching a Lifetime movie and I'm wondering, when are we going to eat?
 
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07:39am 24/07/2003
 
mood: awake
Good morning everybody, it's way too early and I'm running on very little sleep but that's okay because today is Warped! Whoo!

Been having a lot of fun down here with the girls. I hope today is exciting and great as I'd like it to be.

Well, there's my little 'ole update for now. Whoo @ the thought of getting to see Tony today.
 
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"Can't get enough..."   
02:27pm 19/07/2003
 
music: "Just A Little Bit More" - Liberty X
Florida bound at midnight tonight. I have to finish packing and doing laundry and shit.

My birthday sucked, I didn't really do anything.

Lisa came over and stayed the night and we acted goofy all night, as usual.

Troy left without saying goodbye for the weekend knowing he won't see me for two weeks. *shrugs*

Anyway, I went to the lake the other day.

But well, that's pretty much it.

I'll try to update in Florida, if I can but if not I will talk to ya'll in two weeks.
 
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22 years old isn't different from 21...   
05:02pm 18/07/2003
 
mood: moody
music: The television at Hazel's house
Happy birthday to me, even though I suck.

I'm at my sister's right now playing on her computer since I have that AOL prepaid shit.
So for the moment I'm unlimited! Whoo!

I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes especially my friends including Molly, Jon-sel and my DSide girlies. It's much appreciated and I am feeling the love.

So far I have no plans and probably won't do shit today. Go figure?

My dad brought me an ice cream cake and I got my Jimmy Eat World shirt in the mail.

I leave tomorrow night for Florida. Yay for Warped! I'm ready to get "mest up" now.

Anyhow, so much for an update. Krista, I miss you!
 
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"But I won't give up on you tonight..."   
10:19am 15/07/2003
 
mood: awake
music: "Lost, Broken, Confused" - Mest
I woke up this morning to my dad and Stephen ripping out the carpet in our living room, and I'm tired, so frickin tired!

Krista called me the other night and she said she liked my accent. LOL I can't help it I'm overly southern in the accent department, I hate it though.

Troy's actually been coming around again. Don't ask me how I feel about that because I'm undecided still.

The latest topic between my house and my sister's lately has been Tommy Lee's penis. LOL We even had my dad commenting on it, hilarious shit man.

Everyone has seen the video with him and Pam except for me and everyone says he's "hung like a horse" like down to his knee caps. I just want to crack up, it's so funny my family is so boring our together time is spent talking about someone else's penis. LOL

Yesterday I went with Kristen to bingo we met these people there, Loni, Christy, a dude named Jason I believe and the dude that drove us, named Nick.
Bingo is so frickin boring but we all are money hungry. LOL None of us won though and I said I'd never go again. I was falling asleep at the table.

Fun times, and now I have like 3 days until my birthday and no idea what I'm doing.

There goes another update from me.
 
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"Don't worry about what you done now, because it's okay..."   
11:19am 13/07/2003
 
mood: awake
music: "Hold Me Down" - Tommy Lee
Yawn! Why am I awake this early? I've been up since about 9 AM and I feel like I haven't slept at all.
The past few days have been a blur for me, meaning they haven't been real productive.

My AOL account was screwed, damn the man but I have a new one but until I get my checking crap straightened I have to do that pre paid AOL shit which limits my time unfortunately.

So if any of you wanna drop me an email and for any reason my AOL mail is screwy, email me at TheMobstress@hotmail.com

Florida is less than a week away now, I'm ready for it.

So yeah, I think Troy is/was cheating on me. He says he hasn't but for some reason I don't believe him at all. So pretty much our relationship which seems more like joke than anything anymore is turning more into shit than it already is.

What's my thoughts? I could care less really, the "love" has gone anyways and I think has been gone for a while so it's nothing to sit and mope about.
 
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"I can't take it, I don't understand..."   
03:38pm 08/07/2003
 
mood: bouncy
music: "If You're Not The One" - Daniel Beddingfield
The other night I went to the movies with Stephen, Devin and Chris.
It didn't start until 11:45 PM and when we got there, we all decided on 2 Fast 2 Furious, and we got our tickets and then went to the concession stand because I was starving.

I look at Chris after we get our popcorn and drinks and ask, "What time is it?"
He says it's twelve, so we practically run into the theatre thinking we're late.

Well, we sit down and like fifteen minutes later the movie ends so I'm like "uhm, there's no way the movie is that short".

Then we go outside and just hang out, get yelled at by police because Devin was throwing his shoe at people. Just majorly stupid crap but anyways. Devin asks Chris what time it was and Chris says "It's 12". I was like "You said it was 12 an hour ago!" Well, Chris is dumb and can't tell time or something, so we go back in and watch the middle and the end of the movie since we missed the first fifteen minutes of it.

After that, we went to Nancy's house and I talked to Lisa for a few minutes and then we went home.

Last night I went over to Hazel's for a while and we lit off some more fireworks.
And then when I was walking home, Troy just comes out of nowhere.

We sat on the porch swing and talked about us, and he said if I didn't want to be with him anymore, he wishes I'd just tell him. I told him that right now, I'm just undecided and it's not just with him, it's everything.

I mean, my anxiety and the depression and on top of that, the new medication I'm on. I don't know if I'm coming or going anymore. LOL So I can't make decisions like that right now.

I mean, I do care about Troy, don't get me wrong. But I'm not sure if I love him and I don't know anything about our future together, although I don't think there is going to be one because I just am not happy with him.

A lot of things he does agitates me and pisses me off, and he's just so immature sometimes it's just a real turn off. I mean if we were Sims, the negative points would be flying above my head right now.

And he always wants to cling to me when we're together, I'm not a real touchy feely person and it makes me feel suffocated and he just doesn't understand that, even when I'm honest with him and tell him that.

I really don't think I want to be with him anymore, and I should have told him that last night instead of telling him I didn't know what I wanted. But, I'm just so confused and all my feelings have been so mixed lately, I don't need nor feel like making decisions like that, you know?

Stephen and I have been getting along lately, that's really disturbing.
I never thought I'd actually enjoy spending time with my annoying nephew, but he's not so bad.

David got a journal, welcome to the world of Blurtyness dude! LOL Now I can comment on your journal too.
Oh and I added Jack on my friends list too. He's one cool dude.

My birthday, I think I might go to batt and putt with the family and some select friends and then drown my sorrows in an ice cream cake and some smirnoff ice.

Lorraine sent me an email yesterday, it cheered me up. I heart you girlie!

So much for another update from moi!
 
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"Tell me what's on your mind..."   
07:43pm 05/07/2003
 
mood: bored
music: "Talk To Me" - Wild Orchid
Fourth of July sucked my ass. It just doesn't have the same enthusiasm as it did when I was a kid. I sat around for most the day studying American History, damn course work all to hell, it keeps getting more advanced on me and I hate studying.

After doing nothing all day, I went outside with a bag of cheap, shitty fireworks from the firework stand and let them off. Only one actually was cool, and there wasn't even one damn crackleball in the entire pack. What a waste of a free bag of fireworks.

Anyways, Molly called me last night, it was a depressing day yesterday because around this time I'm usually with her or her and Shamia, and I haven't saw either of them in a year.

Molly tried to help me with my American History crap over the phone but that was no luck, so she told me she'd just do it for me when I go down to Florida.

My birthday is coming up, I doubt anyone locally will remember it because I really feel like they don't give a flying shit about me or what I do or anything.
It's going to suck my ass, I asked for the Mest dvd and some clothes. That's all I want.

And then after that I'm Florida bound! Hell yeah!
Warped here I come! LOL I'm real excited, it's the only thing I have to look forward to.
 
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Quiz I stole from Krista.   
03:30pm 03/07/2003
 
mood: lazy
music: "Cry" - Kym Marsh
?????????????????????
Basic Questions
?????????????????????


1) Full name: LeighAnn Marie
2) Sex: Female
3) Birthday: July 18, 1981
4) Height: 5'7"
5) Shoe size: Depends on the shoe, usually 8.5 to 9.5 and sometimes 10. I know, I have big feet.
6) Hair color: It's not natural and it's black.
7) Eye color: Dark brown
8) Ethnic background: German, british
9) Birthplace: Louisville, KY
11) Father's full name: Charles
12) Mother's full name: Mary
13) Sibling(s): An older sister, Hazel.


????????????
Favorites
????????????


14) Song: "Eyesore" - NFG
15) Band/singer: Quite a few: Mest, H2O, Blink 182, Goldfinger, Jimmy Eat World, Sum 41, Good Charlotte, The Calling, Silverchair, The Starting Line, New Found Glory, Alkaline Trio, Sugarcult and the list goes on.
16) Actor: Paul Walker, Leonardo Dicaprio, Giovanni Ribisi, Christian Slater and Ben Stiller.
17) Actress: Angelina Jolie, Kirsten Dunst
18) Movie: "Empire Records", "The Secret Garden", "Holes", "Thirteen Ghosts", "Meet The Parents", "Mobsters" and any other mobster movies I can get my hands on.
19) Book: "My Life With Capone" by Neil Elliot.
20) Author: Don't really have one.
21) Clothing brand name: Hurley
22) Animal: Puppies
23) Day of the week: I don't have one, they're all the same.
24) Color: Black and red.
25) Food: Italian
26) Class in school: Business
27) Store: Old Navy, Aeropostale and Hot Topic.
28) City: Orlando or Chicago.
29) Country: Anywhere but here. LOL
30) Vacation spot: Florida
31) Sport: Softball
32) Game [as in "board", or otherwise]: Monopoly, Twister, The Sims.
33) Car: Spyder Eclipse
34) Internet site: I'm a journal addict, so yeah Blurty.com
35) Ice cream flavor: Chocolate chip and Superman.
36) Season: Fall
37) Month: October
38) Holiday: Halloween, Thanksgiving.
39) Flower: Rose
40) Cartoon: "King Of The Hill"
41) TV show: "Spin City"
42) Fictional character: I don't really know.
43) Perfume/cologne: Addict (Christian Dior) and CK Contradiction.
44) Hobby: Music, singing, internet, researching 1920's organized crime.
45) Flavor: Flavor of what? I love Avon's movie popcorn lipgloss.
46) Scent: Cucumber watermelon.
47) Quote: "It's always my fault!"
48) Word: I'm fond of the word fuck.


????????????
Either/Or
????????????


49) Hot or cold: Cold
50) Sweet or sour: Sour
51) Spicy or bland: Spicy
52) Fast or slow: Slow
53) Black or white: Black
54) Half-full or half-empty: Half-empty
55) Long or short: Short
56) More or less: More
57) Soft or hard: Soft (I do hope we're talking about tacos)
58) Rough or smooth: Smooth
59) Air, land or sea: Land
60) Light or dark: Dark
61) Straight or curly: Straight
62) Straight or curvy: Straight
63) Large or small: Small
64) Fat or thin: Thin
65) E-mail or letter: E-mail, hand writing makes my wrist hurt.
66) Phone or instant message: IM
67) Day or night: Night
68) Breakfast, lunch or dinner: Dinner
69) Past, present or future: Future
70) Radio or CD: CD
71) MTV or VH1: Uhm, don't watch either of 'em.
72) Brush or comb: Brush
73) Slide, see-saw or swings: Slide
74) Doing or watching: Doing
75) Mind or body: Mind
76) Consciousness, subconsciousness or unconsciousness: Consciousness
77) Feet or hands: Hands
78) Water or juice: Water
79) Ocean or pool: Either
80) Treadmill or road: Treadmill
81) Speaker-phone or hand-held: Speaker phone
82) AIM or ICQ: AIM
83) Rain or shine: Rain
84) Cat or dog: Dog
85) Innie or outie: Innie
86) Inside or outside: Outside
87) Up/high or down/low: Up/high
88) Closet or dresser-drawers: Closet
89) Bed frame or only mattress: Bed frame, I guess.
90) Silver or gold: Silver


?????????????
Love/Sex
?????????????


91) Are you Hetero-/Homo-/Bi-sexual?: Hetero
92) Are you in love?: Eesh, I don't think I am.
93) Are you in a relationship?: Yes, eight months now.
94) Are you a virgin?: Yes, and proud, whoo!
95) Have you gotten your first kiss?: Yes
96) Do you have a crush?: Yes
97) Do you enjoy being in love/having a crush?: Having a crush, or being in love with the right person. LOL
98) What form of birth control do/would you use?: Abstinence! LOL
99) How far have you gone with a "lover"?: Further than I wanted to but not all the way.
100) Would/did you have sex before marriage?: If it was for the right reasons.
101) Do you believe in hookups (sexual relations without emotion)?: Whatever floats your boat.
102) Have you ever had a hookup?: Can't say that I have.
103) Is there a difference between a crush and being in love?: Yes
104) Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes
105) Do you believe in true love?: Yes, although I have yet to find it.
106) Can long-distance relationships work?: Yes, but it takes time, effort and a lot of trust.
107) Have you ever had a long-distance relationship?: No
108) What of online relationships?: Friends online is cool, but the rest is kinda corny.
109) Have you ever been married?: No
110) Have you ever been divorced?: No
111) Have you ever been in love?: I thought I was once, I think it was just lust though.
112) If so, how many times?: Just once.
113) Have you had sex in the past and regretted it?: No
114) Have you fallen in love in the past and regretted it?: Yes
115) How old were you when you got your first kiss?: I was young and it was from Bryan Abrams of CMB. LOL
116) How old were you when you had sex for the first time?: N/A
117) Have you ever broken someone's heart?: I'm not sure, but soon there will be a one here, I bet.
118) Have you ever sexually harassed someone?: Not that I know of.
119) Have you ever been sexually harassed yourself?: I can't remember.
120) Have you ever been jealous of a friend for their boy/girlfriend?: No
121) Have you ever been jealous of your boy/girlfriend's "close" friend(s)?: No
122) Have you ever been jealous of your boy/girlfriend's ex-?: No
123) Have you ever gotten back together with an ex-?: Yes
124) Have you ever gotten together with a friend's ex-?: No
125) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: Mr. Raggard, whoo! LOL
126) Have you ever been in love with someone so much that you've cried over them?: Once
127) What's the most affection you deem appropriate for public?: I don't like PDA, I mean holding hands is fine, a peck every once in a while is fine, but if you hang all over me, trying to make out with me in public. I get pissed off.
128) Have/would you ever see(n) an "X"-rated movie?: I've seen on before, so?
129) Do you enjoy French-kissing?: Depends on who I'm kissing.
130) Do you keep a picture of your beloved somewhere?: On my dresser mirror.
131) Would you (honestly) sacrifice your life for your beloved?: My neices, I would. Anyone else? No.
132) Have/would you ever use whipped cream, hot wax, et cetera, in a sexual act?: No, I haven't.
133) What do you look for in a lover (physically)?: Piercings, tattoos, wild hair, I love just odd looking guys.
134) What do you look for in love (mentally/emotionally)?: Honesty, trust, faithful, humor, just someone I can be best friends with as well as partners.
135) Do cherries or strawberries have any sexual meaning for you?: No, but my cousin told me once about a sexual fiasco she had with popsicles. LMAO
136) Have you ever dumped someone?: Yes
137) Have you ever been dumped?: Yes
138) Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yes
139) Are you (honestly) afraid of commitment?: Yes and no.
140) Are you attracted to people with accents? Yes! I love accents.
141) Have you ever had sexual relations in public?: No. I'm not a real touchy feely person.
142) Do you have a memento from a previous relationship?: No
143) Is there a certain smell, sight, sound, or taste that reminds you of a lover?: Sometimes.


??????????????????
Miscellaneous
??????????????????


144) Do you enjoy living in your town?: Hell no.
145) Do you smoke?: Yes
146) Do you drink?: Occasionally
147) How often do you shower?: Everyday
148) Do people you live with complain about the water bill because of the lengths of your showers?: No
149) Do you trust others easily?: No
150) Have you ever lied to a friend?: Little white lies, like for example. "Do I look fat in this?" Me: "No You look great!" LOL
151) Are you trustworthy?: Depends, if someone fucks me over, what goes around comes around.
152) Are you anyone's secret-keeper?: I've kept secrets in the past.
153) Are you a daredevil?: No
154) Have/would you skydive?: No, I'm afraid of heights.
155) Have/would you bungee jump?: No
156) Have/would you play "Chicken"?: No
157) If granted one wish, what would it be?: Perfect health
158) Do you like to dance?: I can not dance at all, but I have fun being stupid.
159) Which do you prefer -- slow or fast dancing?: Fast
160) Do you like to swim?: Yes
161) Do you make friends easily?: Sometimes
162) If so, where do you most often make friends?: Out of state, when I travel.
163) Do you color your hair?: All the time.
164) Do you wear makeup?: Sometimes
165) Are you a person who lies a lot?: Not really.
166) What religion do you practice, if any?: Southern baptist, I don't really practice it, I was just raised as one.
167) Do you like high heels?: No
168) Are you homophobic?: No, I don't really care who's sleeping with who. Friends are friends.
169) Do you like to travel?: Yes, and I do it often.
170) Granted you are American, have you ever been out
of the state?: Yeah, a lot actually.
171) Do you own any pets?: A chocolate lab named Lil' Bit.
172) Do you have a cell phone/pager?: No
173) Do like amusement parks?: Yes
174) If so, what is your favorite park/ride?: Islands Of Adventures/Universal Studios: The Hulk coaster.
175) Do you collect anything?: Mobster memorabillia, Al Capone junk and Titanic memorabillia, lighthouses...
176) Do you enjoy having your picture taken?: Sometimes.
177) Do you keep your room/apartment/dorm clean?: No, I'm messy. LOL
178) Do you get annoyed easily?: Yes
179) Would you consider yourself a depressed person?: Yeah
180) Have you ever been to a concert?: I've been to loads.
181) If so, who/what did you see?: Too many bands to list.
182) Have you ever performed in public?: Yeah, I have. Like singing performing.
183) Do you have any piercings?: Eyebrow, both ears, I used to have my labret and lip done but I took them out and erm, I want my nose done.
184) Do you have any tattoos?: The next one I get will be number six.
185) Do you dream often?: Yes
186) Do you frequently daydream?: Yes
187) Do you have a job?: No, I quit it a few weeks ago. It blowed ass.
188) What was your first job?: Mr Gatti's Pizzeria.
189) Do you have any health problems?: Asthma, allergies, vertigo, sever anxiety, panic attacks, depression...
190) Are you a vegetarian?: No
191) Have you ever been in a crash?: Yes, and it fucked me up and killed my mother.
192) Have you ever had a near-death experience?: Yes
193) Have you ever won anything?: Yes
194) Do you play a musical instrument?: I used to play violin, clarinet and I dabbled for a while with keyboards. Now I have a guitar, but I can't play it yet.
195) Have you ever had someone close to you die?: Yes
196) Have you ever broken a bone?: Yes
197) Have you ever had stitches?: Yes, loads.
198) Do you have any scars?: Yes, loads.
199) Have you ever had major surgery?: Yes
200) What is your earliest memory?: I don't remember how old I was, but it's me walking through Chuck E Cheese's. LOL
201) Have you ever gotten in a physical fight?: Yes
202) What is your dream job?: Singer in a band.
203) Do you plan on having kids?: Someday, not any time soon though.
204) What phrase do you use the most?: "I'm just like doh."
 
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"Fucked up visions in my head, I'm a fucked up kid is what they said..."   
10:41pm 01/07/2003
 
mood: Mental fucking breakdown
music: "Fuct Up Kid" - Mest
Why is my life so fucking unproductive people?

I have been so bored all day, and I haven't done anything at all besides laze around on my ass.

All I want is decent friends who actually want to spend time with me instead of just calling me when they need something. Is that too much for me to ask, seriously?

So, I just took my medicine. I'm actually getting more sleep now, starting to anyhow but still not enough like I should be getting.

I saw this thing on television today about how stress makes people's immune system older and leads to premature death. It must be nice to know that every one of us is going to die from stress. Thanks a lot news channel for giving me one more thing to have an anxiety attack over.

It's the first of July, whoopie-fucking-doo!

My birthday is in seventeen days, I suck and I probably won't do anything but mope around and feel sorry for myself but hopefully it beats last year, because I never thought my twenty first birthday would be celebrated in a hospital all thanks to my mind being fucked and my freaking out thinking I have a terminal illness or something. LOL So I hope the twenty second birthday is better.

Helped Nancy at the firework stand the other day, I was there from like 11 AM until like 2 AM and one good point, I don't look as pale thanks to sun but bad point is I'm sunburnt.

Florida bound in a few weeks, I miss Molly. She's one of my real friend's. At least she calls me every weekend to see how I'm doing even if we never have anything real exciting to talk about.

I started eating healthier because I found out I gained 31 pounds in a short amount of time and now I'm majorly feeling like a real fat ass. The doctor says it's where I stopped taking my anxiety medication and started taking food in it's place. LOL I like sour cream and fatty junk food. So fucking screw it.

Anyhow, I've been eating like salads and crap. Rabbit food and fat free microwavable entrees.

The word of today is "slut fold", you know like "centerfold" except it's "slut fold". LOL

Just got done watching my show, "Spin City". Stewart, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, word!
 
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"I never hurt anyone, I never listen at all..."   
09:01pm 28/06/2003
 
mood: depressed
music: "Polyamorous" - Breaking Benjamin
Fuck everyone unless of course you're one of those rare few that actually give a damn about me.

I'm just so fed up with life in general, and most of the people that come along with it. It's just been one of those moods and one of those days.

I went to the doctor's earlier to get put back on my anxiety medication and they put me on Lexapro, but it'll take some time to start working to get me back to normal so until then, I'm just going to be a raging, depressed bitch.

I honestly don't think anyone around here, gives a shit what happens to me or not, besides my dad that is and my friends who live like states away and shit.
Everyone else is only out when it can benefit them and I'm so tired of it.

Sometimes I just wish I could crawl into a deep, dark hole and live there for the remainder of my pathetic life, I don't think too many people would notice I was even gone.
 
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More quizzes...   
12:51am 27/06/2003
 
mood: bored
music: "Spin" - Lifehouse
So goth you're dead!
You are every goth-kids dream!


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I never really considered myself as being gothic, I sure don't look gothic.

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm rare, how cool is that shit?

The Lost Soul
The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

LOL I am now having 13 Ghosts flashbacks. Matthew Lillard? Haha!



This is the second time I took a swear word quiz and got "Asshole", maybe these quizzes are trying to tell me something? LOL
 
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"Wiggy wiggy, I'm getting jiggy..."   
01:51am 26/06/2003
 
mood: groggy
music: "If You're Gettin' Down" - 5ive
It's been a long day and I never got the chance to go back to bed after this morning's wake up call from Mr. Asshole.

Anyhow, every time I would try to go back to sleep, the phone would ring or someone would wake me up.

Chris (my cousin) sent me a compilation cd of the bands on his indie label in the mail and I got it today, it's pretty cool. Check out his label's site at www.plan-it-x.com

There was a live D-Side webchat earlier, and I wasn't planning on going because I never get picked to chat anyhow but Helen Notts (twin) messaged me and told me to get in there so I ended up going although I said I'd never go to another one.

I still didn't get picked to chat (go figure) but the twins got in and represented the USA crew well!

And Helen tells Dane, "Leigh says Dane is orgasmic" and Dane takes a minute and says "Wow, thanks Leigh, I knew I was good for something". LOL So yeah, I'm thinking "I'm sure you're good at a lot of things eh?" haha If only I would got picked, I could have talked major smack. The orgasmicness of it all, you know?

David went into the webchat being silly under the name "BoybandsSuk", and I was like "Dude, those are my friends, act like you don't know me." LOL But he got bored and left after a while.

Anyhow, talked to Jon-sel today for a little bit too, that guy is a riot, he always brightens my days because he's just hysterical and a really lovely person when he's being for real.

Kristen called me earlier saying she wanted to come over and she was planning on staying all night, so it took a while to find her a ride, so Troy got "Mr. Asshole" to pick her up, and she gets here, stays a while and then decides she wants to go home because it was too hot. LOL Kristen, you're such a weiner but I heart you even if you don't love me enough. *sniffle*

And other then that, I haven't done shit. Dani and I were talking about 5ive earlier, which is so odd. I was really into them when I was like 15-17 years old. It made me realize how much I miss their chats before they got real busy and all I have to say is, come back Sean! LOL

Blah, I've rambled enough for one night.
 
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