| "Even straight roads meander..." | ||||
| 11:55am 15/11/2004 | ||||
who are these people and why should they be talked to..... i dont know... suppose i just wanted to be normal... ive been wanting that alot lately.... and i dont know why.... i dont feel like myself anymore, but i feel like myself more than ever.... I miss the drugs and the binging.... and the parties... and the regrets.... the dilemmas.... now im obesessed with homework.... making the teachers proud... making the parents proud... i have morals and value my family.... i buy my clothing at the mall and dont alter it anymore.....not all that much..... im not any one thing.... not a punk, not an emo, not a stupid little hot topic kid.... am i really indie.......what the fuck is indie.... my guess is just lots of brown, orange, and jeff buckley.... i think what makes me feel like me is that i dont belong anywhere... because thats what they say..... but is it true.......i dont know.... highschool bullshit........i think so...... i need to get away from here, and everything that comes with this place... everyone i know, everything i do, everywhere i go.... and start over.... Ill fall where i should, and that will be it.... but ive got a few more years left.... just had to decide on junior college as well.... two more years here.... suppose i could visit college of the redwoods, then make it to humbolt.... yes, thats what i shall do.... i want out.... nothing i write ever makes sense.... probably because i can never make any sense of the given situations.... |
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| "You always tell me that its impossible to be respected and be a girl" | ||||
| 08:20am 10/11/2004 | ||||
they expect us to be skinny, but look at all the crap food thats being thrown in our faces.... and why is unskinny unattractive...... apparently women are more prone to depression than men..... because society still has all these unwritten laws we have to follow, and we arent considered beautiful unless we obey them... you cant have zits, you cant have hair, no comfortable clothes, no farting, burping, binging, spitting, eating.... you must have boobs that hurt your back... you must have bright pink eyelids... you must have unnaturally colored hair... your t shirts must cost 40 dollars... i know there are many men who dont want all of these things in a women, but i watch alot of television unfortunately, and the image that is being put into our minds is very unhealthy.... and why must we shave? why why why its such a burden, and its painful... i see the commercials for the mens aftershave creamy stuff, and they talk about the burning and unpleasantness of it all... well imagine that feeling from your feet to your waist and under your arms... almost every day... imagine putting gross smelling goo all over and ripping it off suddenly, making you cry, only so you can be more desirable... crapety crap crap... men are pussys... why are they allowed to be hairy monkeys, wear baggy clothes, and smell bad.... you know, they charge so much money for this crap too... all your tampons and bras and makeup and shaving cream is horribly overpriced because you cant live without it... so youll pay whatever they ask... I still like men alot better than women, for women have just become so uptight having to deal with all of this... but it really is unfair.... |
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thoughtful| "I drove around for months and years and never went no place..." | ||||
| 01:52pm 09/11/2004 | ||||
not at all, not at all.... plus, one more walker is one less hole in the ozone layer.... "So you take another drag...." but man, youre just putting yourself in a death trap... you have to look every which way, every so many seconds, how can you keep it up? and this crazy hippie man was just driving me nuts.... nuts, i say... man, it scares the life out of me... |
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anxious|
merridew |
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